This chapter is for Rogue and Catti. You guys kick ass. I don't own Dbz.
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Goku paced nervously as Piccolo rubbed body oil on himself. The black-haired man seemed out of place in a sailor's outfit as he scratched at the crotch in obvious discomfort.
"Pic, I'm scared. I mean, what if they don't like it, and boo me?"
"Goku, I have never seen anyone get booed before. Besides, I'm going to let you in on a little secret." Piccolo twisted the lid to the oil back on and tossed it in his locker. He faced the anxious young fellow a moment later, smiling quietly. "These women are plastered. They've been partying all night, and are in the flying high stage of inebriation. Nothing phases these chicks anymore, not even a mistake on stage. You'll do fine as long as you try to do what we went over earlier. If I see things are bad, I'll bail you out. Deal?"
Goku swallowed visibly but nodded; it would appear that his skin tone almost matched that of Piccolo's. Before another word of advice or concern could be uttered, the door to the dressing room opened with a bang, revealing an angry-looking Vegeta.
"Well well, if it isn't the missing evolutionary link, Kakarot."
"Vegeta, why do you call me that? Only my father says that…" Goku mumbled, looking at the floor. Piccolo frowned and pulled on his hard hat.
"Geta, fuck off. He's nervous enough without you acting like a cunt."
"Least I've seen one, Greenbean!" Vegeta said defensively. Piccolo's brows went up in mock confusion.
"I didn't know we were counting transvestites, Veggie."
Vegeta's color changed to a dark scarlet hue as he marched up to Piccolo. "Why the fuck are you sticking up for him, anyway? The guy's a complete dip shit!"
"Vegeta, I feel like yanking out that pole up your ass and beating you with it, you cankerous STD. Why don't you be a good lad and polish your knob for a bit while we finish getting ready, hmm? Your hand isn't too tired from the past few lonely nights, I trust?"
Vegeta mumbled something that sounded like 'officious prick' and stalked off, leaving Goku and Piccolo alone once more. The emerald man sighed and closed his locked with a decisive smack, making Goku wince.
"I didn't mean to make you all fight, Piccolo. You didn't have to take up for me."
Piccolo shook his head and smiled wanly. "Ah, it's nothing. Vegeta needs to learn that he can't act like a dick and piss on people whenever he wants. It's good for him to be reprimanded. Builds character, or some equally absurd shit like that."
Piccolo made sure his tool belt was fastened securely before glancing at the clock on the wall and giving Goku a supportive smirk. "Right, time to find out if you've learned anything."
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Hours later, Piccolo covered his eyes and thought to himself as Goku dozed on the couch near him. The green man's face was a mask of concentration as he tried to remember all that had gone on earlier. He had never expected such a turnout as the one they had had! That isn't to say he was proved wrong in his estimation of Goku's talents. On the contrary; the young man had exceeded them greatly, much to Piccolo's relief. The women had loved Goku and his innocence. Only the women had been deceived, thinking that the purity was completely feigned.
His fingers fumbled clumsily with the buttons as the woman cheered like mad. His breathing had grown heavier, and only furthered in exciting the already horny ladies. Piccolo had become concerned that Goku would never manage to shed the clothing. It appeared that he was teasing the females, while in reality he was merely clumsy. Piccolo, coming to his classmate's aid, strode over, down to his hardhat and work pants. Goku had flung himself on the unsuspecting male. Over and over he pleaded for help, almost sobbing with hysteria. Piccolo had grabbed him roughly at the hips and hissed into his ear.
"You wanna buy that ring soon? Get ready to make money, and don't ask questions." Piccolo then proceeded to help Goku out of his shirt, looking him intensely in the eyes as he did so. Feigning lust he licked his lips, planting small bites along Goku's jaw. He took the chance to whisper into his friend's ear, telling him not to be scared. He did in a very seductive way, however, so as not to disappoint the screaming women. Once Goku's shirt was undone, Piccolo gently tugged it off, throwing the garb behind him in the process. He wrapped a leg around Goku's stiff torso and ran a hand over the man's head, knocking the seaman's hat off as he did so (intentionally, of course). After successfully making the heart of every lady beat twice its normal rate, Piccolo pushed his mouth on top of Goku's, forcing his tongue past his clenched lips.
Suddenly changing moods, Piccolo slapped Goku to the floor, making him skid a few feet closer to the edge (due to the slippery oil). Goku had finally caught on to Piccolo's intentions and was determined not to lose the chance to buy Chi-Chi a ring. He propped himself on his elbows and ran his tongue over his teeth, mimicking what Piccolo had taught him previously. He then let his head fall back, giving Piccolo a completely vulnerable target. Crawling towards his peer, Piccolo sidled up to Goku and allowed his muscled legs to straddle the now-willing young man. Pressing his torso to Goku's, Piccolo whispered a quick apology before running his hands over every inch of his friend. His mouth was just as busy nipping hotly at Goku's neck, pausing to suck on the racing pulse every so often. He faced Goku again, only to have the young man surprise him. Instead of being controlled completely, Goku flipped the larger man onto his back and kissed him harshly on the mouth, abusing the inside of Piccolo's mouth with his tongue. He stopped his savage exercise and moved to another point of interest: the antennae.
Piccolo tensed as the slender appendage disappeared into the cavern of Goku's mouth. His deftly slid his tongue around the apparatus as his hands took on Piccolo's former occupation. He repeated the process several times until Piccolo gasped for air. His most sensitive (exposed) area had been delightfully abused, and he continued to pretend Goku was an extremely attractive female, and not a muscle bound man. The thought weirded even him out, but seemed to drive the crowd crazy. He winced as a something hard hit his thigh. He would later find the object to be a money clip (with several large bills inside).
Piccolo shuddered as he calmly brought himself back to the present. The stage had never seen so much money at one time before. He forfeited his side of the profits to Goku, since it appeared enough had been made for him to complete the payment on the ring. Piccolo had made him promise never to try his hand at exotic dancing again, to which Goku readily agreed. It had been too weird for both men, and wasn't something they looked forward to trying again anytime soon.
Piccolo made sure Goku understood that went on the stage was merely an act, and should not be looked into. Goku had confessed to Piccolo that he imagined Chi-Chi in his place the entire time, and that had helped him feel better about kissing him. That isn't to say that both men didn't brush their teeth immediately afterwards.
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The next day found Piccolo dully stirring his coffee whilst in the presence of his mother. The woman had invited her boy home to help her sort her things and move some of it to her sister's house. Piccolo only agreed because he supposed it would be a great burden off of both parent's shoulders if he did so. And being the good boy he was, Piccolo accepted the invitation.
"Piccolo, honey, don't drink anything with a spoon in it," his mother gently chastised him as he drank from his mug. The youth obediently took his mixing spoon out and placed it on his saucer. He put down his cup a moment later, staring at his mother.
"Mom, don't you think all this is a bit, well, stupid? I mean, how many times have you and Pop separated? You always end up getting back together, promising never to do it again. I've lost count, quite frankly. Is this time so much different than the last?" Piccolo's obsidian eyes locked onto his mother's hazel ones. She closed her lids and turned away from her son, surprising the young man. He had expected her to blow up at him, like she usually did when she thought he was completely wrong. This time, however, she merely sighed dejectedly and leaned her forearms on the counter, facing away from Piccolo.
"I don't expect you to understand, hon. You're very young, and you haven't seen everything in the world, despite your beliefs. Your father just doesn't seem to realize how utterly abandoned I feel when he locks himself up in his study, or argues on the telephone for hours with some management firm. When we first got married, he was so enthusiastic and fun… He always did little things for me that made me smile, like leaving a rose and a note where I would find it. They always said something like, "See you at your favorite place at seven: wear that dress I like", or "I'm tired of the house, let's go dancing". Little romantic things that were just…thoughtful."
Mrs. Damioh paused in her narration to wipe her eyes. Piccolo frowned and looked away in discomfort. He knew for a fact his parents had once loved one another. He just wished they could remember that and leave him out of the whole mess.
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Piccolo hummed as he walked down the street of the quiet neighborhood. His eyes were practically glued to the sidewalk as his thoughts swam about his mind like minnows in a pond. He had been thinking about what his mother had said, and was concerned about his parents for the first time since he was a kid. Every other time he had been sure they would forgive each other and move on, but now… He wasn't sure what to believe anymore.
He was almost to the park he had played in as a child when he noticed a shadow hovering behind him. He turned quickly and almost ran into Julia, who looked startled.
"Who- Julia? Wait, what are you doing here?" Piccolo tried to hide his flustered attitude with a look of indifference, though he knew he must be failing horribly. Vegeta's mother looked to the side and shrugged slightly.
"I came to visit you mother, Piccolo. Don't forget we became good friends when you and Vegeta were growing up. She called me and asked me to stop by, and…" She tore her eyes away from the interesting cracks in the sidewalk and faced Piccolo. "Well, I wanted to talk with you, too. You haven't been by lately, and I just wanted to know-"
"Of course I haven't been by! What's the point of sticking around to someone who doesn't love you?" Piccolo snorted, making Julia smile quietly.
"Your mom said the same thing to me about your father. Piccolo, you are too young to experience all that." The woman brushed a stray hair from her face and looked away again. An awkward silence crept around the air like a vine, choking the pleasant weather into uncomfortable heat. Bringing her face to view Piccolo Julia continued. "Honey, it's not that I don't love you-"
"Yes, it IS!" Piccolo spat, growing impatient. "I'm just an amusement, nothing more. Well, I've decided I hate being used. So save whatever it is you wanted to say. I've got better things to do, like get AIDs." Piccolo stalked away, feeling slightly gratified. He was proud that he still had some self-respect, and that even an attractive woman couldn't make him lose that precious shred.
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Yes, the story isn't all porn. It does have a little plot to it, for those looking for more than a thrill…-couchROGUEcough- I hope you enjoyed the chappie. Candace, please don't hit me. I only did the male on male scene because I listened to Mann gegen Mann right before I wrote this…what can I say? Rammstein inspires me!