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Letters To My Muse - Reverse Point of View Prologue
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Written in letter format. May not make much sense… it's both the second prologue and the epilogue.
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To the reader, may you understand:
Life always throws us off course with obstacles and its own demented plot twists… But we still attempt to live life to the fullest.. We don't question until something seems off or goes horrendously wrong… Because it's in our nature to do so. Just like it's in our nature to fall in love or become prejudicial. Pointless this seems, I know. But true, no?
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I am a writer, in all sense of the word. I write… and I love to write… but in my family I am a black sheep… I'm not allowed to have a creative bone in my body, or a skill that can be used for the greater good. I was molded for evil, and that was supposed to be my sole purpose in life.
But… as I said… I am a writer in every sense of the word. And it was that love, that passion that would destroy my only other love in the end… Confused? As you should be…
My other love wasn't a writer, as I was. But she still wrote in every sense of the word. She was a painter, an artist… and I was her muse… but.. It took me a series of letters and nearly fifteen years to notice… and just as long to fall in love… with the very one I was prejudicial against.
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I wasn't like the others who were trained and drained by their fathers and mothers to become heartless, cruel, and ultimately mechanic. I was different. I saw writing as an outlet, and as a passion. But, since I was forced to hide myself from everyone else, it became almost like an obsession.
I wrote in dark corners and hours before the dawn. I wrote whenever I could, taking only moments to keep up the image I was forced to put up. And… as it happened to be, I wrote stories of heroics and damsels in distress.. Far from me or any female I was close to.
I wrote more than stories, however, I also wrote secrets, and songs… and poems… If my father had come across them, I'd be considered girly, and severely punished… but Gin…. She just smiled and said I had talent…
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I'm saying this with all my heart...
I never want to leave your side, again…
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So, as I continue on with my letter, I will include parts of myself… writings and songs… so that maybe.. You'll get to see the real me…
Now that I know of the fairy tale love life can give us… I will show it to you… But… you'll find I was that empty uncaring shell I was mechanized to be… that icy jerk that everyone seemed to be shown… but with a little compassion and the love of a beautiful girl I realized I could be so much more…
She had given me the courage… as I gave her wings… and she taught me how to care… as I taught her how to fly…
You may be smart,
But I'm smarter.
I changed gradually… one step at a time…
You may be brave,
But I'm braver.
I was a cocky jerk with millions of galleons….
You may be pretty,
But I'm beautiful...
I could have bought her home twenty times over with my pocket change….
I may be weak,
But you're weaker...
And she knew I was evil and uncaring at that time…
You are beautiful to me,
I love your personality,
You are beautiful to me.
Don't ever leave...
But she changed me… She dared to…
But.. I might as well have killed her in the end… as we grew closer, my stories grew darker… the songs remained the same, as did the poems.. But I began to stop writing them… And the darkness portrayed in my writings consumed me…
Still… I love her…
But… I am still evil in the recesses of my heart and mind… and my soul… I will never be able to commit to either side… So I sit here.. Dark and light… evil and good… and yet neither…
I love her… and I love to write… but… it seems… I can no longer have both…. Or either.
Sincerely Draco Malfoy
August 22nd, 2000.