ii. Eternal Flame

"Shadow, what do you think it's like on Earth?" Maria was pressed against the window in the observation room, staring out at the planet. It was a full Earth today, the entire visible portion glowing with reflected sunlight. A swirl of clouds mid-ocean showed where Hurricane Igor raged, far off the eastern coast of the visible continent.

"Pretty wet under those clouds," said Shadow. He didn't make jokes often, but he did tease Maria occasionally. She gave him a mock glare. With a smirk, he amended, "The Professor says that it's beautiful some places and terrible in others. There are a lot of happy, well-off people, but there are also a lot of people who need help, who live in dangerous areas or...poverty." The last sentence came out a bit unevenly, as Shadow had a good idea what dangerous meant but was not so certain about 'poverty'. Money wasn't really used on the ARK, most purchases being made with credit, and Gerald handled all such transactions anyway so Shadow was still a bit hazy on the concepts of rich and poor. He continued with more assurance, "The Professor said his life's work was dedicated to all of those who live down there. He once told that the reason for his existence was making people happy through the power of science."

Maria moved away from the window, sitting down on the floor next to Shadow. "That's what I want to do. Help people who are unhappy. I wish..." Her expression shifted, clouding over.

"Do you think I'll ever get to go down there, Shadow? Sometimes I feel like grandfather won't ever find a cure, and I'll be stuck here, forever, until I die. I don't want to be stuck on the ARK forever - I want to live, to do things! I-" the torrent of words was interrupted by a sob, as the girl curled in on herself, drawing her knees up to her chest and resting her forehead on them.

"Maria..." Distressed, Shadow crouched next to his sister, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "It will be all right Maria, trust me. Professor Gerald will find a cure, and we'll go down there together, you and I." In the immediate aftermath of the Biolizard's rampage, Gerald's discovery had been temporarily forgotten, but he had eventually gotten a chance to tell Shadow about the "healing" of the rat cells. The Artificial Chaos had killed the Chaos lizards and all of the Chaos rats except Silver, but fortunately the researchers had been able to recapture the other rats, and two sets of the NIDS affected rats were now undergoing therapy with extracts of Shadow's cells. Gerald had sworn Shadow to secrecy about the cell-based results and the new experiments; he was still afraid of getting Maria's hopes up about a cure that might fall through. Shadow disagreed; he knew, as Gerald did not, how Maria ended up in tears over her own fears every few months, but she kept that as secret from her grandfather as he kept his research progress from her. But the hedgehog had promised Gerald not to tell, and he had promised Maria the same thing; the one promise to be sure that Gerald at least kept him up-to-date on the progress, the other so that Maria would have someone to confide her fears and grief to. But it hurt to know that only a few words kept him from easing her terrors by giving her a solid hope. He knelt next to her and hugged her as she twisted to sob into his chest fur, a rather awkward position for him, as she was nearly two feet taller than he, but the best comfort he knew how to offer. Leaning his cheek against the golden hair, the black and red hedgehog whispered again, "It will be all right, I promise you Maria."

Eventually the girl sat back, rubbing at her face and Shadow sank down more comfortably on his heels. Fishing in her pocket, Maria located a wadded tissue - but it had apparently been through the wash in the pocket at least once, as it was collapsed into a solid mass. She looked at it ruefully for a moment then gave Shadow a small smile, "Don't guess this will be very useful." With a sigh she started to stand up. Shadow bounced to his feet and offered her a hand, which she gratefully accepted. He followed her down the hall to the bathroom, where she pocketed some fresh tissues - which would probably go through the wash themselves several times before she actually needed them - and started washing her face.

"Do you think Grandfather's having a good time on Earth, Shadow?"

He looked up to see her watching him in the mirror. "I hope so. I know he was looking forward to seeing Ivan and Catherine again. He also said he was going to try to get in touch with the dokan while he was there, and I know he'd like that."

He looked down a moment, then back up at the face reflected in the mirror. "Maria? You've been writing to Jenny Curl..." Shadow hesitated, not sure if he should continue. He wasn't exactly certain what he wanted to ask anyway. But Maria turned to look at him questioningly as she hung up the hand towel she'd been drying her face with. As her reddened blue eyes met his scarlet ones, he pushed on through the question, even as a part of his mind insisted it was unnecessary. "You've been writing to Jenny, and you met Rafe and Todd...do you think the dokan...I mean, what would they think of me?"

It wasn't a fair question to ask, and it might have made more sense to ask Gerald, but Shadow suspected that Gerald would brush the question away with automatic reassurance - although the scientist would probably believe it himself - but not really think through the question or his answer. Maria might have less experience with the dokan, but she would give the best answer she could. He eyed the girl uncertainly, part of him still insisting that it didn't matter WHAT anyone else thought of him, but most of him hoping that he wouldn't be completely unacceptable to the dokan.

Maria didn't answer immediately. Pushing a lock of gold hair back out of her face, she instead regarded him a moment and gave him a return question, "Are you hungry?" At Shadow's nod she preceded him to the kitchen and they silently assembled a couple of sandwiches. It wasn't until they were nearly finished eating that she returned to the topic.

"Todd wouldn't care," she said bluntly. "Uncle Todd takes people as they are; as long as you're not trying to make him do or be anything he doesn't want, he'll accept you the same way. I don't know how well you'd actually get along, though, your personalities are so different. He thinks of laws more as 'guidelines' usually, and never takes anything seriously, but he wouldn't mind that you're, um..." Maria frowned trying to think of a tactful term, but Shadow didn't give her a chance.

"An experiment," he finished for her. It was a fact, after all; and there was nothing he could do to change it. He'd come to terms with the fact himself, not that he had much choice in the matter; the problem was he wasn't sure how others would accept it. "So if Todd wouldn't care, the others would?"

Now the girl's frown shifted from concentration to actual unhappiness. "I don't know about all of them," she temporized. "I know that Jenny doesn't like the idea of Grandfather 'altering things'. She and Rafe know about the Chaos rats and lizards - not specifically I think, only that Grandfather had genetically altered them - and she doesn't like that idea much. And I get the impression that it's bad enough doing it to animals but to dokan would be barbaric. At best. She'd despise Grandfather, but what she'd think of the altered dokan - I'm really not sure, Shadow.

"And Rafe, I don't know him as well, but I think he just puts on a show of being as carefree as Uncle Todd, when he really cares more about...conventions." She was genuinely distressed to have to give Shadow the bad news, looking down at her hands in her lap. "Rafe said I could call him 'Uncle' too, when Uncle Todd did - I think because Uncle Todd did - but he didn't really mean it. I'm human and even being an honorary uncle to a good friend's grandchild was...wrong...because of that. Not that I think he realized it himself, but he was relieved when I kept calling him Mr. Curl. And then later they said I could call them just Rafe and Jenny. But what he'd think of your... origins..." She trailed off, shifting uncomfortably in her chair.

Shadow wasn't particularly surprised. Most people on the ARK thought that he was "just" a dokan but there were a few who apparently suspected something...unusual...about his origins, and he knew how they reacted to him. He put a hand on Maria's to reassure her that he wasn't hurt or angry. "If they didn't know, if no one told them I wasn't an ordinary dokan, do you think they could tell?"

Maria looked back up at him, considering his appearance thoughtfully. "Not by looking, I don't think. I don't know if there are any other hedgehogs with stripes like yours, but the dokan seem to vary a lot in color and fur patterns, so I don't think that would really give away anything. And they're people, so there are all sorts of personalities represented. It's your abilities, really, that would be most noticeable. There aren't any hedgehogs who can run anywhere near as fast as you can, and the Chaos powers are unique, surely. But if you didn't use those, or run - actually, if you wore your hover shoes, they might credit your speed to those, so it'd just be the Chaos powers that set you apart.

"When are you going?"

Shadow blinked. Going? Was I planning to go? He would go to Earth eventually of course, but now? No. Not yet, not when the professor was getting closer to achieving a cure for Maria. So why did I ask? No dokan ever come here, except that one time, so why should I worry what they think of me, now? He didn't know. He shrugged and smiled at the girl, evaluating her mood. "I can't go until you can come with me, you know. We'll have to tell the Professor to hurry up and fix you when he gets back." That made her laugh.

"You don't want to wait for me forever, Shadow. Maybe you should go on down and scout the terrain. That way, when I'm ready we'll know where we're going and who to help" There was an odd combination of serious and playful in her tone. The mature part of her knew the severity of her illness and believed she was unlikely to leave the ARK, but another part clung to hope, offering their familiar old game as a way of both suppressing her fears and laughing at them.

Shadow played along, suggesting both serious destinations and ridiculous ones for Maria to debate with him. Eventually Maria conceded the latest suggestion ("the sea bed to save the catfish from the dogfish"). "Oh dear," she said, wiping tears - of laughter this time - from her eyes. "I really had better go study. There's a test tomorrow on algebra, ick. It's really not fair, I'm stuck here, but they keep sending the tests and assignments on the computer anyway.

"Thanks for helping me cheer up, Shadow. And don't ever forget, even if other people don't like you: 'you're my brother and I love you', always. Like the stars out there, a light in the darkness in case you get lost."

Shadow hmphed at her. "I think you need to do creative writing rather than algebra. Go. Study. Or the professor will be mad at me when you get an F minus minus."

Maria giggled at the idea of getting such a ridiculous grade. They were both aware that the worst math grade she'd ever gotten was a C-plus, and she helped most of the other students with their math. "Math just requires the right mindset, and I'm lucky enough to have it from Grandfather. And Mrs. Fahey says that my writing is too creative already.

"Seriously though, don't worry about the dokan, or people like Mokie. Yes, I'm well aware that he doesn't like you, I just wish I knew why. You know what is right, just do that and the people who matter will come around. I know you're a good person, and they'll have to see it eventually." The girl waved gaily in his direction and trotted out of the room.

Shadow wandered back towards the observation room. He wasn't as certain as Maria was that it would all work out so neatly; he suspected her usual optimism had gotten the better of her again. He smiled, though, at the 'you're my brother' quote. That was one of Gerald's family jokes; something about his grandmother's response to a cousin protesting about kissing another cousin goodbye, the original quote was "because he's your cousin and you love him". Maria loved the story, and liked to apply the phrase whenever she could. Reaching his destination, he stared out at the stars, brilliant against their black backdrops. '...a light in the darkness in case you get lost.' His memory offering up another quote, from an old movie. "Our love will last 'til the stars turn cold," he murmured.