He would defend her (he would always defend her),prove that it wasn't an 'era' thing. Olivia was a child of rape, and the guy may never had been caught, but he would never manage to regret that, as much pain and suffering it caused for her mother or his partner. Because without her he'd never know anything to compare Dani to. He'd never know the longing of having his partner back. Not his 'old' partner. His real partner. Sure, Beck was great. She was like him, they shared the same undying disgust for the perps they beat down on a regular basis. There was just one problem with this particular situation: he was forced to be the sane one this time.
Oh, Olivia. She was the yin to his almighty, brooding yang. In the interrogation room it was an unbelievable drama that unfolded, every time. A delicate balance of rage and caution, her soft voice breaking down the suspects' walls, his anger frightening them into submission. They wove together a tried-and-true pattern without ever speaking a word. Hell, they hardly had to share glances. Mere body language sent signals. Crossing her arms meant he was going too far. Palm up meant keep attacking. Shaking her head to 'rid her eyes of bangs' meant it was her turn to 'console', or offer a deal. She was the only one he really trusted to keep himself in check, though no one would ever beat this admission out of him. (Though she could maybe coerce it, when she returned. When, not if.) She was his sanity when the cases proved to push him over the precarious ledge of insanity.
He'd never realized there was a female version of himself. Or how much patience it took to deal with 'him'. Every time he apologized to the victim or their family, or had to yank her off a suspect for her excessive force, or talk her down from a harsh verbal berating, he blessed Olivia. Then the pang of angst hit him, the brick wall of her absence, the hole in his heart that grew with every passing day. He realized without Olivia, he would've spiraled long ago, and it was only his job as the older, more experienced SVU detective keeping him on a leash until her return.
Because he was banking on her coming back.
-
He knew with this pregnant victim that Olivia would use her soft voice while he calmed the husband down. He knew she could relate to the woman on some unspoken level. He knew that she'd never get in Ms. Wilson's face for not wanting to retell her story. He knew that she would get the job done without breaking the woman down.
He knew that poor girl wouldn't've killed herself if Olivia had been there. Now Casey decided to take the blame, rather than lay it on Dani. Because he knew that's what she wanted to do. Every look the ADA gave his 'new' partner was filled with the regret that it wasn't her. She'd never be good enough, because she simply didn't have the 'touch' required for live victims.
Every time Casey Novak looked at Dani, and then at him, he saw in her eyes the same look he saw in the mirror every morning when he realized she still wasn't home.
"I want Olivia back."