"I want to die... I want to die..." he whispered softly to the dark silence of his solitary cell as he grasped the cold metal bars in his frozen hands. "I want to die... but first... I want to be loved by someone."
Laying in the dark room where seeing his own lover who was laying right beside him was barely possible, he mused over that event from long ago. His mind strained to remember it. The memory was so far gone now that it was nearly impossible to bring back.
He had been a desperate fool back then, reaching out for whatever he could think of that would give him a purpose... a goal. He couldn't even realize that he would need so much more from life. And from love too.
He smiled. He was grateful that that simple wish had kept him going, even if he had been an idiot to ask for only that. If he had killed himself back then, his life would have meant nothing at all but now...
All he could do was smile. He was so happy, so content, so comfortable. He never imagined things would be this good. After the prison and perhaps before that even, he had given up on even thinking of true happiness. Yet here he was.
The suffocation was gone now. He was so comfortable now that he no longer felt the pressure on his chest that he used to feel. He no longer needed the feeling to feel alive, either. Love had taken its place. Love made him feel alive now.
His lover, still fast asleep, rolled over and wrapped his arms around him. Though his lover's arms were heavy against his chest, that pressure didn't bother him anymore either. He laughed quietly to himself. His lover could be quite cute.
He settled down again, ready to finally go to sleep. He closed his eyes just as his lover's eyes opened.
"Going to bed finally?" his lover asked him. Perhaps he hadn't been asleep.
"Yep," he responded sweetly.
"What were you thinking about all this time?" his lover questioned.
He just smiled and gave a soft reply, "How good I have it."
His lover blinked at him for a moment but then smiled and pulled him closer. "Go to sleep now, you little idiot. You need your rest."
"You're right. Goodnight, Kurogane."
"Goodnight, Fai."