Confessions

-By the chain that's called "reality"

We are connected

Even though our desire to dream isn't fulfilled

Nevertheless, we'll keep on searching

For the light that illuminates darkness

Ed stood up from his daze and rubbed his head "Did you have to be so rough you almost killed...Roy?" Ed's brow furrowed as he looked on. Roy lay face down in the dirt his hands clutched around clumps of grass shaking as if he were in great pain. "Roy are you okay?" Ed placed a gentle hand on the mans shoulder causing him to quiver. His face was flushed and scrunched up and his knuckles were turning white from forming such tight fists around the grass. Realizing the situation Ed hollered at the hundreds of gazing soldiers "Don't just stand there! someone call the military doctor hurry!" The soldiers broke out in a tizzy as about 20 people ran into HQ.

'What had happened?' Ed questioned to himself. He remembered cutting Roy's glove and then being hurled up into the air and then, this. Ed looked down at Roy stunned to see that he was subconsciously running his fingers through the mans thick black locks. His hand just seemed to move on it's own, but seeing as to how it was calming both him and the colonel down he continued. Roy's fits slowly loosened their grasp and his whole body soon relaxed. Ed turned him over on his back and pulled the mans head into his lap as he threw his red cloak over Mustang to keep him warm from the harsh September winds. He had never-. His thoughts were interrupted when Roy began to stir from his sleep.

Roy felt warm comforting hands running through his hair, just like his mother used to do before she died. 'I must truly be dead' Roy chuckled to himself. He slowly blinked the blur out of his eyes which met with a very concerned pair of golden eyes. "Ed?" he questioned weakly, "Wah what happened whas going on?" his speech was muffled when he talked so it made it sound as though he were on the verge of tears, but the 'Flame Alchemist' never cried. Crying was a childish reaction for a five year old when he or she didn't get their way.

"I don't know Roy y-you tell me. One minute your blasting me into next week the next your, your out cold flat on your face!" Ed's voice sounded different not quite angry but cheerless and worried, he had never herd FullMetal like this before especially over him, and since when did Ed call him by his first name? I thought he hated me along with everybody else in this world. He didn't deserve to have anyone's concern after all the sins he had committed in ishball "Well answer me!" Roy took in a sharp breath not expecting such a harsh outburst from the boy as he pulled his eyes away from the golden ones.

"I duno" Roy mumbled on the edge of sleep till he suddenly realized just where he was. His head was cradled in the boys lap while the rest of his body was covered by a

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blanket, no it was Ed's coat and it was so warm and soft. It was no wonder why the boy always wore it every where he went. Why was it on him? Strangely though he felt comfortable and safe for the first time in so many years. It was like someone was there for him and it was comforting to know. Soon the warmth had slowly caused him to daze off into another unconscious sleep.

Ed watched as the mans eyes closed once again without any attempts to keep them open, and how he subconsciously nuzzled the side of his face into Ed's lap for warmth. He couldn't help but notice how helpless he looked when he had his guard down, just like everyone else the Flame Alchemist was only human. How easily Ed forgot that. Off to the left Ed could hear loud footsteps as the military doctor's ran towards

him and knelt down beside the unconscious man.

"How long's he been like this" came a voice. Ed choked out "N-not long. He woke up and, and then he fell unconscious again." Ed watched as about four doctors circled the man to check his pulse heart rate and all his vital signs. Then much to Ed's horror one pulled out a small hypodermic needle. He'd always been deathly afraid of the sharp pointy little evil's and began to feel woozy as he watched them draw blood from Roy's arm. Black spots began to fill his vision and he tried to say something but his throught was dry and his head was pounding. He saw a blurry hand move in front of his face. The words "Mr.Elric? Mr.Elric are you okay?" echoed through his thoughts before promptly collapsing onto Roy's chest as everything went black.

Ed slowly blinked the dimness from his eyes and sat up slowly. He found himself sitting in a small white bed with white sheets and a thick white blanket. In fact everything in the rather small room was white with the exception of a few little things like furniture. "Must be the infirmary" Ed said to himself when he heard a loud echo and heavy metal footsteps. "Brother your okay!" Al shouted as he threw his arms around him. "Al! Ow that hurts cut it out!" Ed yelped in pain. "Sorry brother," Al said while rubbing the back of his head, "guess I don't know my own strength." he laughed.

"Hey Al, how did I get here?" Ed questioned blinking a few times. "You mean you don't remember!? You and the colonel were fighting and he passed out! Thats when I got a call saying that you had passed out not long after." Ed's face dusted with pink as he remembered the whole event including part where he had collapsed on Roy. "God, I hope he doesn't remember when he wakes up" Ed mumbled.

"Remember what brother?" Al asked curiously. "Oh...n-nothing" Ed's face burned pink when he realized he had said what he was thinking aloud."come on lets go see if the colonel's okay" he said quickly trying to avoid the subject. "Okay." Al chirped "Oh! I almost forgot to tell you, The nurse said something about the colonel rambling in his sleep. She said that she herd your name quite a few times and that if maybe you could come down and see if you can figure out what he's saying."

"He said my name?" Ed asked in confusion.

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"Yah, something about wanting to see you, thats all the nurse said she could make out among all the jumbled words."

"Oh." Ed replied thinking that he must look like an idiot right now. "Well I guess we should head down and see him now." Ed replied while opening the door to the small room. Al walked out quietly behind him knowing that his brother was deep in concentration. He always got like that when he had a lot on his mind.

Thoughts began to bounce around Ed's head like why does the cornel want me, or, geeze the bastard can be demanding even when he's unconscious. A cautious tap on the shoulder pulled Ed from his thoughts. "Hum, uh yah?" Ed stuttered.

"This is the room," Al said sadly," I'm not allowed in because of my, um, appearance but I can wait at home okay." Al sad referring to the military dorms.

"Are you sure Al I can always see Roy another time if I have to." Ed said happy to get out of this place should a nurse say he's late for any vaccinations of any kind.

"No you should go Brother, He needs you." Ed looked down at the floor until Al had completely disappeared from view around the dark corner and was safely out of ear shot. "I'm sorry Al its all my fault" Ed whispered as he pushed the heavy door open. What he saw only made him feel worse, there upon the white bed lie Roy, lifeless, his arms by his side and his fist's shaking as what Ed presumed to be horrible memories. The lighting in the room was low, however spots of sunlight coming through cracks in the shades splashed across the bed adding small amounts of color to the mans porcelain pale cheeks. The look on his face was slack, Nothing at all like the look he would have on his face when Ed just happened to walk in on one of his little afternoon naps. No, right now he looked dead, broken, and lost. It was all too much and made his stomach lurch as he began to feel sick. A small tear snaked its way down Ed's face as he cautiously stepped closer.

When he was right next to the man he took one look at Roy's blank face and that was it he couldn't hold it back any longer. Ed threw his arms around the sleeping man and cried into his deep blue jacket. "I'm sorry Roy its all my fault! If I had been nicer to you you'd be okay! Why is it that everybody Im close to gets hurt! If I," Ed choked out , "If I, If I ,hiccup, I'm sorry!" he sobbed over and over soaking the mans shirt.

(Dream)

Roy groaned as he slowly opened his eyes. Around him was nothing but darkness except for the one spot where he was lying on the cool hard floor. He felt a small weight against his chest and as his sight came into focus he could see it was a small woman. Her long brown hair was sprawled across his chest, and she seemed to be sleeping against him, though he couldn't tell because she was turned away from him. "Hello?" Roy chanced hoping to get a response. "SHHHH!!" the woman hissed causing Roy to jump a bit. He didn't expect her to answer never mind snap at him. 'What the hell is going on!?' Roy questioned himself.

Soon after, the woman raised her head only to place her long fingers firmly

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around the mans broad shoulders, and bring her face so close to his that their noses almost touched. Her long hair fell around the mans face like a velvety curtain. She had a soft face with a loving expression and deep brown eyes that were pure and forgiving.

"Your heart hurts." she stated with the innocense of a young child and a voice like a ringing bell. "Huh?" was the only thing Roy could manage as a reply. "It hurts," she repeated, "Its sad and lonely. It wants, longs for something but its afraid...Don't be afraid." she added. Roy was lost in thought once again. 'What is this woman talking about? Who is she? Where am I? What does she mean?' Roy was confused, so many questions were swimming around his head it made it impossible to think. When he pulled himself away from his thoughts he noticed that the woman was staring intently into his eyes.

"So cold," she whispered softly shaking slightly, "There so cold." she seemed to be reading his thoughts, as if all his memories were reflected in his eyes. It felt uncomfortable but in spite of himself he stared right back into her's. Tears began to fall from her eyes and against his face leaving long tear trails down his cheeks. It looked as if Roy himself were crying. "How?" she whimpered feeling the same pain that Roy himself felt, "How do you never cry! You hold it inside despite how you feel despite how it pleads, no wonder your heart beats so sadly!" she almost scolded. "If you wont cry for yourself then I must." she strained.

This woman seemed to know exactly how Roy

felt. Could she possibly have read his mind? Once again he was pulled away from his thoughts. He felt the woman bury her face into the side of his neck and begin to sob quietly. Hesitantly Roy pulled his arms around her and kept her in a warm embrace. "Don't cry for me," Roy spoke not knowing just what else to say and completely bewildered by the whole situation. "But I must," she sobbed "For if I don't your heart will be overcome by darkness, and there's already enough darkness in this world"

"What if I promise to cry when I feel the need from now on, how bout that?" He said in a kind way. "Promise?" she said lifting her head. "Promise." Roy said again. The woman gave a soft smile before fading away like a ghost. Roy blinked a few times before the darkness around him became bright. Too bright to even look at. Hurriedly he pulled himself to his feet covering his eyes with one hand. He stumbled around in the light looking for something, not quite sure he knew what is was, but he new he would know when he saw it. everything suddenly seemed to fade away like the girl.

(End)

Roy blinked away the daze from his eyes after hearing loud sobs. His vision slowly cleared until he could see exactly where he was. he found himself in a hospital bed with Ed's face buried into his chest. He kept repeating 'I'm sorry' and hiccuping over and over. "Ed?" he chocked out but it sounded more like a moan than a word.

The boy pulled his head up to reveal his tear stained face. Roy lifted a shaky hand to Ed's cheek and wiped away the wet trails left behind from the tears causing the boy to

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wince at the unexpected contact. "What's wrong?" Roy questioned meekly. If Ed was crying then, wait Ed's crying? Something horrible must have happened.!

Ed struggled to think. Nobody besides Al and his mother had ever seen him cry! He gritted his teeth holding back the lump in his throught. In vain tears began to well up into his eyes again as it was impossible to stop. Quickly Edward placed a hand over his eyes as he darted out of the room. The sound of his shoes clattering down the hall attracted the curiosity of all of the nurses as they all seemed to stare for a moment before he burst out the door of the hospital letting the doors slam loudly behind him. Running he could feel the first snow of the season hit his face and cling to his golden hair. Cutting behind some buildings he found himself in some deep thick woods. Mostly pine trees covered the land here but as her ran deeper in more and more sick twisted looking trees with no leaves crowded the area. Finally slowing his pace he leaned his back to a tree huffing. His breath fogged in the cold afternoon air as he slid down the tree into a sitting position. Slowly scanning the area he made a mental note of where the trail was that went back to town before leaning his head back against the tree and sighed closing his eyes.

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