Kirsten was lying in bed when she felt her head pounding. It hurt to even roll over. She desperately needed to take two advil and drink a huge glass of water, but the thought of actually moving made her sick. She remembered the partying and the drinking, but why did she have that feeling in the pit of her stomach like she did something stupid? And that's when it all came flooding back to her.
Sandy, bedroom, topless, rejection.
She remembered feeling like such an idiot and putting her defensives up when Sandy rejected her. How could she not? Now that she thought about it, it was probably the most humiliating experience of her life. More humiliating than drunkenly falling down steps in front of her friends at a high school graduation party, and more humiliating than when her father caught her and Jimmy making out in her bedroom. She couldn't help but question what the hell was wrong with her.
Did she repulse him? He sleeps with random girls all the time.
Was she sexually not up to par for a guy with that much experience? She was always told she was really good in that department. Of course that was by Jimmy, and he was the only one she was ever with. She always thought keeping her sexual number low was a good thing, but not last night.
Was he just not attracted to her? She thought about how hard his dick was and how out of breath he was, but dismissed that thought immediately. He had to be attracted to her, otherwise he would have never walked back to his room with her.
She figured she could question herself for the rest of the day if she kept trying to figure out what was going on in Sandy's head. She decided against it since she was getting nowhere and it was making her own head hurt.
She was shaken out of these miserable thoughts when the phone rang. She rolled over, which actually took a major effort, and glanced at the clock. Nine-Thirty. She already missed her first class of the day, and attending her ten o'clock didn't look very promising. She reached for the phone hoping it was not her father checking up on her.
"Hello?"
"Kirsten! Hey, it's so good to hear your voice." She immediately knew who it was.
"Hey Jimmy. How are things?" She said it with very little enthusiasm.
"Did I wake you? You sound like hell."
"No, I am just struggling through a horrible hangover. I got home really late last night and have already missed two of my classes. I am just a mess today and it's not even ten o'clock."
Jimmy couldn't help but laugh at her. She was always too hard on herself. Did she not realize that this is what college students do? They get drunk and blow off classes. She always needed to be perfect and he was always there to remind her that she didn't have to be that way all the time.
"Kirsten, listen to me. Are you listening?" He waited for her to respond before he continued. "The world is not going to come to an end if you miss a few classes and I am sure you grades will not suffer much either. As for your hangover, that is something you should be used to by now!"
She could feel his smile through the phone. He always knew how to make her feel better about herself. "Thanks Jimmy."
"No problem. If it makes you feel better, I am laying in bed right now blowing off economics class as well. I was just thinking about you and wanted to call and see if you were planning on coming home for Thanksgiving next week?"
Last Year, Jimmy would have never asked that. Last year, they both couldn't wait for Thanksgiving to spend time together.
"Yeah, I was planning on it, why?"
"Well, my last class is on Tuesday and I was thinking of coming up and partying with the Berkeley crew on Wednesday. You do need a ride back to Newport, right?"
"Actually, Emily was going to drop me off on her way home to San Diego, but if you want to come up anyway, that would be fun. You haven't been up here since last November when you picked me up for Thanksgiving break."
"Yeah, I thought about that." He paused thinking about how that was the last time they were really a couple. "But I had so much fun up there, I figured why not. Unless you have plans or a big date or something you can't drag me along to."
Kirsten immediately thought of Sandy. All the thoughts of her humiliation came rushing back to her. Then she thought about Jimmy and figured a visit from him would be good for her. Her last class was Tuesday as well so it would work out perfectly.
"No Jimmy, no big dates, but I will cancel all the small ones for a chance to hang out with my oldest friend."
Friend? Jimmy thought. Damn, he was hoping she would still consider him something more, but he would take what he could get.
"Okay, I will call you on Wednesday morning to give you a better idea of what time I am going to get up there."
"Sounds good!"
"Fantastic. And Kirsten? Take some advil, roll over and get some sleep. You will be ready to go out by nine o'clock tonight."
She laughed and hung up. She thought about how there was no way she was going to go out tonight. The possibility of running into Sandy was more than she could handle. She knew he would be at The Black Oak and Emily and Allison would want to go there. She would have to think of some sort of excuse not to have any sort of run in with Sandy until the dust settles which probably wouldn't be until after the holiday break.
Sandy forced himself out of bed and made his way through his classes. He wasn't exactly sure how he did it. He thought it was because his mind was occupied with Kirsten and what had happened. Sure, he physically felt like he was in pure hell right now. He thought substituting water would help, but his head was pounding and the waves of nausea were coming and going.
As he walked across campus heading back home he heard his name being called. He turned around and saw Paul who looked as disheveled as he felt.
"Hey Paul, I was just heading home. You?"
"Yeah, I can't make it through the rest of the day. Remind me why we had a party on a Thursday night?"
"It was your idea." Sandy plainly pointed out.
"Yeah, not one of my best. I would have never thought that I would have seen you on campus after the night you had." Paul knew that something had happened between him and Kirsten, but he wanted to hear it from Sandy. This was his way of getting Sandy to open up a bit.
"The night I had? If you remember, I was drinking water intermittently, hoping for an outcome better than this. I feel like hell."
"Not only did I figure to bump into you at the house this morning, but I figured Kirsten would have crossed my path as well." He winked, basically indicated he wanted Sandy to fill him in.
"Paul, if you want details, why don't you just ask?" Sandy was a bit annoyed and he had no idea why. He never minded the morning after interrogation. He and Paul always shared stories. It was something he never did with anyone else.
"Ok. I want details."
Sandy just shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry to disappoint, there is nothing to tell."
"Come on Sandy, I saw you two go into your room. I had to listen to Emily for a good half hour discussing if she was going to have to go back to campus by herself. Then, well I don't remember much after that. I woke up on the couch this morning. There has to be more to the story."
"Nope, not much more than that. Kirsten and I are just friends. Do you honestly think a girl like Kirsten would spend the night with me? Plus, her high maintenance attitude is something I don't think I could handle."
"Okay." Paul didn't buy it, but he let it slide. He had a different agenda. "So, since you and Kirsten are such good friends, I need you to do me a favor. I need to you talk to Kirsten for me and ask her what Emily's story is?"
Sandy started to panic. How was he supposed to talk to Kirsten now? He knew he would have to face her sometime, but not so soon. He didn't want to tell Paul what happened. He was too embarrassed. Paul would chastise him for letting Kirsten walk out of his room last night. He wanted to explain his actions, but she became so defensive.
"Sure Paul, but I don't think I am going out tonight. I think I need a break from the whole scene."
"What? Sandy, it's the last Friday night at The Black Oak. You have to come out."
"I am sure The Black Oak will be there when we come back from break."
"Fine, then I will just have to talk to Kirsten myself."
The panic set in again. What if Kirsten told Paul what happened? No she wouldn't, he thought. She was sure to be there tonight. She never missed it.
"Why don't you just speak to Emily yourself. It might work out better in the long run." Sandy suggested.
Paul thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, maybe."
Friday NightPaul was at the bar with his buddies and was playing the eye tag with Emily all night. He wished Sandy was there with him so he could speak frankly about what was on his mind. Then it hit him, Kirsten wasn't there either. Nothing could be more out of the ordinary. Maybe they were together, he thought. Paul thought he would make his way over to Emily and use it as an icebreaker.
"Hey Emily, can I get you a beer or something?"
"Um...sure, thanks. And thanks for having us at the party last night. We all had so much fun."
"Good." They walked over to the bar and he continued, "Sandy had too much fun. That's why he isn't here. He said he needed a break from all this. Speaking of Sandy, where is Kirsten?"
"I tried to get her to come out, but she said she didn't feel like it, which is weird. What happened between the two of them anyway?"
"Sandy said nothing, but I have a feeling something happened that he isn't telling me. He usually brags about that sort of thing."
Emily knew that was probably the case, but the way Kirsten was acting, it seemed like something bad happened.
"Well, I don't think that is the case. Kirsten was really upset last night and she barely spoke to anyone this morning."
"Sandy was the same way. Well, I am not going to try and figure them out. So how about that drink?"
The rest of the weekend passed and fortunately for both Sandy and Kirsten, there were no surprise run-ins. Sandy figured the longer this went on, the more awkward it would be for the two of them. He still felt he did the right thing, but should have expressed why he did it. Kirsten would avoid Sandy forever if she could. She figured that seeing Sandy would only make her feel more embarrassment. She should have never acted like the way she did. Her first attempt to be promiscuous and it blew up in her face. She was glad Jimmy was coming to visit on Wednesday. He always knew how to make her feel better.
Tuesday Night"Come on Kirsten, come out with us tonight. You haven't been out all weekend. To be honest, I am starting to worry." Allison was coaxing her to make an appearance at The Black Oak. There were no classes tomorrow and lots of students were leaving in the morning, ensuring a crowded night at the bar.
"Are you sure this is you expressing concern for my well-being, or the fact that you don't want to go alone? I know Emily made plans with Paul tonight."
"True, I don't want to go by myself, but if you don't come out tonight, I am going to be forced to ask you what the hell happened with Sandy last week. Emily made me promise to leave you alone about the matter, but you know it is killing me and I have been so good."
Kirsten definitely didn't want to bare her soul to Allison. Where was Emily when she needed her? She knew what she had to do.
"Okay, okay, let me just shower and get dressed. Give me forty-five minutes?" Kirsten thought about it and although she knew she couldn't hide forever, there was a good chance Sandy wouldn't there.
Sandy was at the bar when he saw her walk in. He couldn't believe she would be here on a Tuesday night. He was a little relieved because tonight was his chance to explain himself. Now, he had to just hope she would listen.
Kirsten spotted him immediately. She froze in the doorway. She felt Allison's arm pushing her in while she whispered, " I have no idea what happened, but I do know you are going to have to face him eventually."
"Shots, I need to do lots of shots." Kirsten figured alcohol was the only way she was going to get through this night.
As the night progressed, Sandy was sticking to beer. He knew he had to speak with Kirsten and he didn't want to sound like a complete drunk. He had been watching her ever since she walked in, and it looked like she had a lot to drink. She wasn't acting extremely out of character, but between the wine, beer and shots she consumed, he figured she had to be feeling it.
Sandy finally got up the nerve to walk over to her at around one o'clock. He figured if it went horribly wrong, last call was a half hour away. He thought about what he was going to say, but he couldn't rehearse it. He had no clue what was going to be fired back at him. This was the most nervous he had ever been approaching a girl. He felt like he was in high school.
Kirsten saw him walking toward her and she didn't know what to do. She did know she didn't want Allison to hear any of this conversation.
"Al, I am going outside. I need some fresh air." She didn't wait to hear a response. She just concentrated on getting out of there. She didn't hear Allison call back, "Don't leave without me."
Once outside, she felt better until she heard the door open and the loud music spilling out. She looked up and as just as she thought, there was Sandy. She had to say something first before he humiliated her even more.
"Why are you following me?"
"I'm not following you. I just wanted to talk to you about the other night."
"Well unfortunately Sandy, today is not your day. That topic is not open for discussion. I was drunk and acting stupid. I apologize for my behavior. Are you happy?"
"No. Kirsten, don't be like this. I just..."
She interrupted him and raised her voice, "Stop telling me what I am and am not like. You don't know me at all so don't pretend like you do."
Sandy didn't want to make a scene in the middle of the street and she was getting really, really loud. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into a nearby alleyway. "Why are you getting so upset. I am trying to explain what happened and you have to make this all about you. What happened the other night has nothing to do with you. It has to do..."
Again she interrupted him as she pulled her hand away from his. "How can you say that? It has everything to do with me. I was there, remember? The half naked girl that you weren't interested in. Ring a bell? That was me in case you had to much to drink and completely forgot." She could feel the liquor in her and nothing was stopping the mean words that were flowing out of her mouth. "All of a sudden you gain some sort of sense of morals and need to act like an upstanding citizen. Well, bullshit Sandy. I don't believe it." She was out of breath.
"Can I talk now? Are you done?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I remember everything that happened that night so let's not put the blame for happened on alcohol. If I was drunk, I probably wouldn't have stopped."
"Thanks Sandy." Now she just looked hurt. "I didn't know I was the type of girl men had to be completely wasted for them to sleep with me."
"Again, with the interruptions." This was a really annoying quality she had. "That came out the wrong way."
"Sandy, just say what you mean and mean what you say. I don't want to be here all night. I would actually like to go home and pretend that this conversation never happened."
"Kirsten, I just.." Everything he wanted to say sounded so superficial. Thoughts started swirling in his head of how he was going to convince her that his intentions were good. That he was the problem that night. "I want you to know..." Will she believe me, he thought to himself.
Kirsten just stood there dying to know what he was going to say to make the situation between them less awkward. Sandy acted on his impulses and grabbed her hand and pulled her forcefully against him. He took his other hand and stroked her cheek and he leaned in and kissed her with so much passion that he felt it in his groin. He never wanted anyone more than he wanted her right at that moment. He parted his lips and slid his tongue in her mouth and withdrawing it, afraid this was not what she wanted. She didn't pull away from his kiss and as soon as he parted his lips again, he felt it. Her tongue brushed up against his signaling that she was kissing him back.
Kirsten was shocked when he pulled her in for such a deep kiss. She wanted to pull away, but her knees went weak and she couldn't help but kiss him back. Then the thoughts hit her. What kind of game is this? Does he want her or not? Is he attracted to her or not? If he was kissing her now, why couldn't he close the deal then? She put her hands on his chest and pushed him away as hard as she could.
"What do you think you are doing? You just assume the same rules apply? You humiliated me the other night Sandy! No one has ever made me feel like that and it hurt. What gives you the right...?"
He pulled her in again and kissed her again. This time he broke the kiss pretty quickly, but kept his face close to hers. His sincere ocean blue eyes met her stone blue as he spoke. "Stop interrupting! Do you have any idea how that pisses me off? That wasn't a question for you to answer. Let me just get this out. I didn't want to stop the other night. You have no idea how hard that was for me, but maybe you are right and I am gaining some sense of morals. I just didn't really think you knew what you were getting yourself into. I wanted to make sure that you weren't going to have any regrets afterwards."
Kirsten just looked at him in disbelief. She couldn't believe that he was actually worried about her own feelings and it had nothing to do with the fact that he found her repulsive.
He stepped back from her revealing his apparent hard on. She couldn't help but smile to herself thinking that she was so wrong about the situation.
"Look at me." He pointed to his groin as he continued. "Don't try and tell me that I didn't want you the other night because the evidence is quite clear. You are probably the sexist girl to ever cross my path."
Kirsten couldn't help but smile on the outside at that. Thank god, she thought. She kept quiet not wanting to interrupt as he says she does all the time.
"I still don't want to be committed to anything serious. I don't think it's possible for me. I shouldn't say that for sure, but it is just how I feel right now. I am still interested in what happened the other night, if the offer still stands. I would like another crack at it. I just didn't want you to misjudge the situation and I certainly didn't want you to think it had anything to do with you personally."
He stared at her waiting for her to answer, to say anything. She stared back thinking of how she wanted to kiss him again, but that would have to wait.
"Are you done now? May I speak? I don't want to interrupt." She smiled a smile that could have lit up an entire city. "I appreciate your honesty although I must admit Cohen, you had me questioning myself for the past few days. Yes, the offer still stands, but certainly not tonight. I have had enough drama for one evening."
With that Kirsten walked out of the alleyway and back into the bar. She met up with Allison and pretended like nothing happened outside. She saw Sandy walk in several minutes later knowing he probably needed the time to calm himself down a bit. The prospect of what was to come was something she couldn't help think about.
Sandy walked in and didn't even want to look at her. He was pleased how their conversation went, but didn't want her to know that she got to him. He grabbed himself another beer and decided to head to the back of the bar and play some pool. He couldn't wait for what was coming his way in the terms of Kirsten Nichol.
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