Writer's note: Sorry this update took so long too, but I'm kind of trying to make the chapters slightly longer, though I'm not sure if the story even moves at all in this chapter. Oh well, read and enjoy anyway…
Chapter Five
A female voice spoke fluently in English and Japanese, announcing the changes in flight schedule and so on as elderly couples slowly collected their luggage and young couples smiled and posed to take pictures, later put into huge pink albums to show their offspring and descendants decades later. Embarrassed parents begged and pleaded with their whining toddlers to shut up while trying to move the pram and luggage at the same time.
The busy, chaotic scene seemed to pause for a moment in his clear blue eyes as he surveyed the sight before him. Yet, the sense of serenity, peace and calm that seemed to engulf him was merely for a moment as the endless motion quickly continued.
The picture however, was captured forever in his memory, or what was left of it at least, for it seemed so familiar, a sense of déjà vu. Fuji inclined his head to meet his companion's eyes, looking into the cloudy grey depths and trying to decipher the other man's feelings as well as he could.
Yet, he found himself, for the first time, facing a clear obstruction, for while the other was visibly standing beside him, easily within his reach and touch, he seemed miles away at the same time, distant and untouchable. It was almost like there was some physical barrier between them, or more likely, Atobe himself has erected a mental and emotional barrier. There was a certain calm coolness even in the tender concern he had accorded Fuji on their flight here, he had been polite and attentive, yet silent and reserved, appearing blank and emotionless rather than deep in thought or even pained.
It was a side of Atobe he had ever seen before, it was like a mask, a careful well-sculpted mask on his beautiful visage, disguising any sign of vulnerability or feeling. It was so well practiced, so effortlessly put on, without any sign of wavering, and that disturbed Fuji greatly.
Yet, the former tensai tactfully decided not to probe or try to pry off the careful disguise, for he understood that it was already difficult enough to get Atobe to return to Japan with him and face the pain that had been evident in his dark eyes whenever the subject of the past had been brought up. He understood and respected the fact that Atobe had a right to maintain a certain level of emotional defence.
Instead, Fuji concentrated on looking around the busy Narita airport, leaving Atobe to deal with the necessary task of getting transport. A smile graced his lips as his eyes followed a toddler who was struggling with all his might to get out of his pram. The child seemed to have sensed the attention, for he looked up and was suspiciously shy for a moment before breaking into a cheerful grin as Fuji sent him a knowing smile.
Convinced that Fuji was a friend and appreciative audience, he returned to his efforts at extracting himself from the pram that held him captive, casting occasional shy glances at the tensai from time to time.
Atobe soon returned, having secured their transport and they walked out of the airport together, into the cold morning. It was early morning and the sun's rays had just begun to warm and brighten the land. The two men walked towards a black sedan parked near the building and Atobe promptly got in at the wheel.
Feeling Fuji's questioning glance, he looked up.
"It's the company's, they have arranged for an apartment too."
No reply was expected and none was given as Fuji merely took in the information and they started for their lodging in companionable silence.
It was a short distance, and they reached the apartment in less than twenty minutes. Getting out of the car, Atobe removed the luggage from the back and walked towards the lift with Fuji following close behind. Entering the lift without a word, he stood with his back towards Fuji, unwilling to face the other man.
They soon reached their floor, and removing the key he had received from the company together with the car keys, Atobe swiftly opened the polished wooden door and entered the apartment silently. A pleasant sight greeted them as they entered the living room, for despite being slightly smaller than the London apartment; it was tastefully decorated, appearing quiet and cosy with understated elegance.
Closing the door behind them, the two men begin to explore the place; they found out that there were two bedrooms, a small kitchen and another room filled with a bookshelf and study table. Too tired to do anything else such as unpacking or even get breakfast, having flew the whole night, they each lay down in one bedroom without even changing out of their formal attire, and fell promptly asleep.
It was already noon when Fuji finally woke up. Sitting up sleepily and looking around the unfamiliar surroundings, it took him a moment to remember where he was, and when he did remember, he no longer felt sleepy. Standing up and walking towards the full-length windows that covered one side of the room, he drew the thin translucent curtains apart and looked hesitantly out at the streets.
He saw nothing but an old man slowly walking his dog and a child playing with his bicycle, yet, looking at the unmistakably Asian faces and road signs written in Japanese, he knew he was back, back in his homeland. Somehow, there was something familiar about the place, though he had barely seen it, but there was just something familiar and comforting about this place.
Tearing his eyes away from the window after a moment, he looked down at his crumpled suit and decided that it was time to take a shower. Entering the shower and allowing the cold running water to run over him, feeling suddenly alive and refreshed as the icy water made him fully awake.
When Fuji stepped out of the shower after nearly an hour, he begun to feel hungry, ravenous in fact, and he dressed quickly before stepping out of the room. Stopping in front of Atobe's closed door, he hesitated for a moment before knocking gently on the door, afraid to disturb the other man without a warning.
Yet, no reply came, and Fuji gently pushed the door open, his eyes travelled to the gigantic lump on the bed. Walking forward slowly, he gently pulled the blanket off to reveal a sleeping Atobe Keigo, who was a picture of adorable beauty with his striking grey eyes closed.
The tensai smiled as he gently reached out to touch the soft grey hair, his mind wandering to the child he had saw at the airport yesterday. He had envied the child then, the stunning innocent mischief and charm he had saw in those huge brown eyes. He had wished then, with all his heart that nothing would ever destroy that cheerful innocence.
But he had knew at the same time, that while he could be as cheerful and happy as the child now, with no memory of the past, things would never be the same once he remembered. He knew he would share the same agony and pain that he could see reflected in Atobe's eyes even at the most joyful moment, he knew he would never be able to feel pure untainted happiness ever again, he knew he would lose the ignorant bliss that now occupied his life.
But at the same time, despite knowing all these, he somehow felt that it was far better to know what happened and live with the sorrow, rather than to pretend that nothing had ever happened, for while he could not feel the sorrow and grief that his companion clearly remembered, his heart ached whenever he looked deeply into the other man's eyes, and saw the pain hidden in their depths.
It was a comfort now to Fuji, to sit beside a sleeping Atobe and gaze at the beautifully crafted features that exuded a child-like air of serenity and calm, it was like watching an infant sleep undisturbed, unaware of the world around him and the troubles that plagued it.
"Perhaps everyone is a child when he is asleep."
His heart sang with joy and weep with sorrow at the same time, grieving for the loss of innocence and bliss, yet rejoicing at the realisation that no matter what happens, some things will never change. For once, he felt true happiness, unblemished joy, even as a single tear fell onto the closed eyes.
Atobe slowly opened his eyes, he had felt something wet fall on him and he now turn around, to be greeted with the sight of a weeping yet smiling Fuji Syuuske. Unsure of what he was seeing, he gently tapped Fuji on the shoulder, which was all the encouragement the other man needed to fall into his arms and allow the tears to flow.
Atobe was shocked. He had absolutely no idea how Fuji had gotten on his bed and why he was crying so hard, but what baffled him further was the smile on his face, a smile of pure joy. He could only hold the tensai in his arms and prayed fervently that he will soon recover.
It was a long moment before Fuji finally stopped weeping. He looked up slowly into Atobe's eyes, and smiled gently as he spoke.
" I think I'll leave you to get a shower or something now, then we can go our and get something eat. I'm starving.
Atobe merely nodded mutely, as Fuji left the room.
An hour later, they found themselves eating in a tiny eatery that they had discovered on a quiet street. It was a relief to them both, to savour the familiar taste of local food after being in London for so long. There was a sense of comfort in the antiquity that the little shop offered, with its quaint, old-fashioned furniture and a little old man that looked as old as the furniture.
Atobe seemed to be his usual self again, as they talked and laughed throughout the meal, speaking only of useless and random topics and nothing else, unwilling to let any unhappiness spoil their first day back home.
They took a slow walk around their new neighbourhood before returning to the apartment that night, where the unpacking was again conveniently put off till the next day.
I was originally planning to end in two chapters or so, but that is quite impossible now since I feel like actually cultivating a sweeter and more in depth relationship between Atobe and Fuji first aka stop torturing them for sometime… Do give me your opinion on this…I have started on the next chapter, and it is more on the light-hearted sight instead of angst, should be done soon…keeps fingers crossed