Hey Everyone – My apologies once again for the delay. I had to do some traveling for work which was very time consuming, but alas, here is the next chapter. This is pretty much the end of seeing my interpretation of young Kandy. The next chapter will be twenty three years later, connecting with the episode The Dawn Patrol. Hopefully it will all tie into a nice, neat package. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter because this was a favorite of mine to write. Enjoy!
Ever since Sandy spent the night in Kirsten's dorm room, the following weeks, he hated being apart from her. He hated sleeping alone and surprisingly enough so did she. Sharing a bed with Sandy was surprisingly comfortable. She was finding that she slept better with him next to her, than alone. Not that she would admit that to Sandy. She was the never the one to suggest a sleepover, always waiting for him to make the move. Not that she would turn down his offer. So every other night they would spend the night with each other, splitting time between her dorm room and his house.
Both sets of their friends noticed this change and were equally happy, even though they showed it in completely different ways. Kirsten was bombarded first. It was typical of girls to want every little detail and not dancing around the subject at all. It was Emily who started the conversation when she saw Sandy leaving their room after that first morning.
"Well well well..."
"Not a word!" Kirsten definitely didn't want to talk about it. Emily knew Kirsten never let guys sleep over unless their name was Jimmy, so she knew this was a big deal.
"Yeah right! You expect me not to say anything after Sandy almost punched Trevor last night, you leave with him and then I just see him leaving now. Are you crazy?"
Kirsten smiled knowing there was no way out of this. "Why did we think it was a good idea to go out that early?"
"I have no idea, but don't change the subject. So you guys are getting serious huh?"
"I wouldn't call it serious. I don't know what I would call it, but it definitely is not serious. We still have spoken a word about where any of this is going."
"Really? I'm surprised." Emily didn't want to express this to Kirsten, but she was shocked. They had been spending so much time together, she would have thought by now that they would have discussed the future, especially when Paul told her Sandy was really falling for her. "Well, Valentine's Day is coming up. Maybe you will be able to get some sort of read off of him then."
"Maybe." Kirsten was trying to play it off like she really didn't care about Valentine's Day, but she was secretly hoping Sandy had something planned. He hadn't mentioned anything yet, but it was still over a week away.
After not spending a few nights in her dorm room, she was then bombarded by Allison. The girls went out to have lunch off campus when Allison, in her own unique way, brought up Kirsten's whereabouts.
"Kirsten, you should get more to eat than just that salad. You are getting way too thin. It must be all that exercise you are getting with Sandy."
Kirsten blushed knowing that comment was not the worst to come. "Very funny!"
"You do realize you are going to have to give us details."
"Your details and my details tell a completely different story."
"Kirsten I would defend you here, but I am dying to know some things too." Emily couldn't help, but side with Allison. In the past few weeks, Kirsten hadn't given them anything to talk about.
"Thanks a lot Em. I really have nothing to say."
"Well since we have plenty to ask, I'll start. Is he as good as we all thought he was?"
Kirsten was now turning red, thinking about how Sandy could make her feel, how he was able to invoke things in her that she never thought possible. She thought about how she experienced her first multiple orgasm. "Yeah. He is everything we all thought and more."
"Okay, you obviously had no idea what I was originally thinking because there could be no more to it."
"Oh but there is!" Kirsten said slyly, loving that she knew something they didn't.
"Really? Like what?" Emily was intrigued.
"He's really big huh?" Allison asked bluntly.
"Allison!"
"What? I want to know how lucky you really have been getting! Just getting laid lucky or screaming orgasm lucky?"
Kirsten knew she wasn't going to stop until she gave them something and for once it felt good to brag a little bit about her sex life. She never before had that luxury. "What I am about to say does not leave this table. Understood?" She putting together her garbage and she spoke. Emily and Allison were on the edge of their seats. "You guys should take this information with a grain of salt because you both know that I don't have the sexual experience that you guys have, so I am not a good judge of these sort of things. With that said, Sandy is incredible. In a sexual way, he really knows what he is doing. He knows how to use what God has given him, and Allison, God has given him a lot. He is sexy as hell. He knows how to read me. He knows when to go slow and when to go fast. I still haven't figured out if it's because he knows how to read women in general or if we have some sort of weird connection. He is sensitive in the way that he challenges himself to last longer for my sake, but little does he know that I am usually long done before he, ya know. Finally, I am getting lucky in the screaming multiple orgasm type of way."
Kirsten started to get up, taking her garbage with her to dispose of it, as Emily and Allison stared at her in awe. They followed her to the garbage can wanting to hear more. Emily knew that took a lot for Kirsten, and her response was more than she could have ever asked for. Allison was not through. She felt that she had got Kirsten finally talking, why stop there?
As they gathered around the garbage can, Allison lowered her voice when she asked, "So, did you swallow?"
Kirsten looked at her horrified. There was no way she was going to answer that! "You see, I give you an inch and you want a foot."
Kirsten made her way toward the door before she heard Allison call after her, "How many inches are we talking?"
Sandy wasn't getting asked these types of things. The guys knew better than to ask Sandy details. If it was just any girl, they wouldn't have a problem, but this wasn't just any girl. It seemed to everyone else that this was thee girl, and no guy would ever cross that line. They did of course tease Sandy to no end.
The fact that he spent the majority of time time with her, that she was constantly at the house, that he was spending much more time on campus, were just a few of the reasons.
"Where are you running off to? I thought we were all going to grab some beers." Michael asked.
"I'll give you one guess." Paul liked to tease.
Sandy smirked, knowing if it was one of those two constantly disappearing, he would be joking around with them just the same. "What can I say? Beer? Beautiful woman? I would be crazy to choose beer."
"I would think so." Michael said back to him.
Sandy was relieved that Michael had no hard feelings about what was happening between him and Kirsten. Michael was genuinely a nice guy and Sandy never meant any harm toward him. Not that Sandy had any idea what was really happening. He knew he didn't want to be apart from this girl, but he hadn't brought up where their relationship was heading since that first morning he stayed over her dorm room.
She didn't bring it up either and right now things were so perfect, he didn't want to ruin it.
He thought about the party in Newport and how Kirsten had not brought it up to him once. Sandy tried forgetting about it, hoping that she would come to terms on her own to ask him. He already knew he would say yes, but he realized after a few days, she wasn't going to ask. So Sandy nonchalantly made mention of it, trying not to sound like he cared.
"So when are you going home?"
"Home?" She asked, not remembering that he overheard the conversation with her father. She thought he was too busy doing other things to her.
"Yeah. Your father summoned you to go home for something and it has to be coming up soon."
Kirsten now knew he must have been listening, plus paying attention to the hold her father had over her. "Yeah, my parents are having a 25th anniversary party celebration at my parent's house and he pretty much told me I have to go."
"So, when are you leaving?"
"Not until sometime in March. Why? What's with all the questions?"
"No reason. I was just curious."
Sandy knew at that moment that she had no intention of asking him to go with her. After thinking about it over and over, he realized his feelings for her must be stronger than her feelings for him. After that conversation, there was no way he was going to bring up Valentine's Day, let alone plan anything. He didn't want to scare her out of his life forever. He had to play it cool, since she still needed time to figure out what she wanted from them. He was upset by it, but hoped that time would help her come to some sort of realization about their realization.
Kirsten couldn't believe Sandy brought up the conversation she had with her father. She was a little bit peeved, feeling that he only brought it up to tease her about her obviously dysfunctional relationship with her father. When her father first brought up the anniversary party and the fact that Jimmy would be there, thoughts of bringing Sandy entered her mind. She thought of how much more fun she would have by having him by her side. Thoughts of being able to dodge the Newpsies, dancing with Sandy, avoid standing up next to her father, putting on a fake smile would be just some of the advantages.
But there was a major disadvantage. If she brought Sandy to Newport, she would risk him walking out of her life forever. Her father would make sure of it. She didn't want to subject him to all the whispering, the judgmental looks, and her father's stern disappointing voice. She figured it was better to leave him out of this part of her life, until she was sure he was with her for the long haul. She hoped this conversation would come up on Valentine's Day, but Sandy had yet to ask her to do anything yet.
The Day Before Valentine's Day
Kirsten couldn't believe that a day before her favorite holiday, Sandy still didn't bring up the day or make plans with her. Could he have forgotten about it? She would like to make that excuse for him, but she knew Paul was planning something for Emily and even though they were guys, they had to have spoken about it. They did live in the same house. Maybe it was her. Maybe her expectations were set too high. Well, he had one more chance. They were going to see a movie tonight and she was hoping he would surprise her with some special plans for tomorrow.
As they walked to the movie theater, Sandy said nothing. As Sandy bought their tickets, no words were spoken. As they sat down and watched advertisements and previews, still nothing. Kirsten barely paid attention to the plot of the movie. She was now finding herself nervous. She never thought in a million years he would just blow this off. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but thinking that he simply forgot was not making her feel any better.
Sandy started walking her back to campus, discussing anything but what tomorrow was. Kirsten couldn't let the night end like this. As they made their way to the front of her building, she had to figure out how to bring it up without sounding completely desperate.
He followed her into the building and as they made their way to the front door of her room, they both heard voices inside.
"Sounds like everyone is home." She said, explaining to him that he couldn't come in, due to the lack of privacy. She leaned up against the door, looking in those blue eyes that made her knees go weak.
"But we've got this whole hallway to ourselves." Sandy leaned in and kissed Kirsten softly at first, but it didn't take long for his passion to grow. He moved his hands through her hair, loving how silky it always felt. As much as she usually enjoyed this, her mind was somewhere else.
Her thoughts were interrupted from a door opening down the hall. Her whole body tensed and she pulled herself away from Sandy. They waited for the hallway to be empty again before Sandy spoke. "Ya know, it's okay to be caught kissing. We could be doing a lot worse." He wiggled his eyebrows trying to get a smile to grace her beautiful features and it worked.
"Sandy, you know how I am. Public displays are really not my thing."
He looked down at his groin and she noticed the stirrings of what was to come if they continued. "Yeah, me either." He chuckled.
She grabbed his shirt and pulled him close, thinking it was now or never. Her lips were inches from his, never losing eye contact. "So, will I see you tomorrow?" She didn't want to mention what tomorrow was, but threw it there like it was just a regular day.
Sandy knew what tomorrow was, but she hadn't mentioned it as Valentine's Day so he didn't want to make a big deal about it. She didn't make a big deal about the party in Newport either, so he knew she wasn't ready for a big grand gesture type of holiday. He pulled back a bit from her while he spoke.
"Actually, I have something to do tomorrow, but let me come in now Kirsten."
Kirsten couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe he had something to do. What could he possibly have to do? Could she have been so foolish this entire time to think he was only seeing her? They spent so much time together, when would he have the opportunity to have someone else in his life? It was the only thing that made sense to her. She was even more furious that he felt she was good enough for him to come inside her dorm room now, but tomorrow, she was worthless to him.
He leaned forward to kiss her when she didn't respond, thinking that she was considering it. Little did he know, her mind was elsewhere. She dodged his lips, opening the door to her room. "Everybody is home right now Sandy, plus I have something to do." She used the same exact words he used, hoping it stung him as much as his words hurt her.
She closed the door behind her, leaving a stunned Sandy in the hallway.
Valentine's Day
Kirsten went straight into her bedroom after she left Sandy in the hallway. She didn't want to deal with explaining to everyone how her night went. They all knew she was waiting for Sandy to ask her to do something special. She figured they would have figured out, from her mood, that it didn't go as well as she hoped.
As she lay in bed the following morning, she wanted to stay under the covers all day. She wanted to pretend last night never happened. She felt like a complete and utter fool. She noticed that Emily was staring at her, on the verge of saying something.
"What?" Kirsten was annoyed, but she really had no right to take it out on Emily.
"You want to talk about it?" Emily knew Kirsten was really upset.
"Not really."
Emily left her alone and went to take a shower. Just then there was a knock on the door. Kirsten reluctantly got out of bed and as she answered the door, her face greeted with an enormous bouquet of red roses. For just that single moment, all hope was not lost. She thought, for that split second, Sandy was just teasing her and this was a grand romantic gesture he had up his sleeve the entire time.
"Emily Pratt?" The delivery guy asked.
Kirsten's heart sank. Could she be any more stupid? "No, that's my roommate. I can sign for her." Kirsten placed the flowers on Emily's desk and crawled back into bed. Jealousy was not attractive quality, Kirsten thought. At least Emily had fallen for a nice guy. A guy that sent her flowers and would never spend Valentine's Day apart from her. For what felt like the millionth time that morning, Kirsten questioned her own stupidity.
As soon as Emily entered the room, she noticed the flowers. How could she not? They brightened up the whole room. Emily tried to hide her excitement, knowing how upset Kirsten was.
"They're beautiful." Kirsten didn't want to hide the fact that she was happy for Emily, despite her own misery.
Emily smiled, knowing she had to talk to Kirsten. "Thanks." She paused choosing her words carefully. "Sulking is not going to make you feel any better. I am here if you want to talk about it."
Kirsten sighed loudly. "There really isn't much to tell. Sandy obviously doesn't feel I am Valentine worthy."
"Why would you say that? All Paul talks about is how crazy Sandy is about you."
"I doubt it. Not only did he not want to do anything today with me, but he had the nerve to want sleep with me last night. Like I was good enough last night, but not today...today of all days."
"And why do you think that is?" Emily asked, as if she knew something that Kirsten didn't. She made her way over and sat on the edge of Kirsten's bed.
Kirsten looked at her skeptically. "Because he is exactly the type of guy we all thought he was. And I was just a pawn in his game. Stupid, I know."
Emily looked at her sincerely. "Kirsten, after everything you two have been through, do you honestly believe that to be true?"
"It's the only thing that makes sense. I fell for all his moves and his charming ways and now I am paying for it." A part of her was very angry, but the other part was starting to feel sorry for herself. "I really believed him, ya know? I thought we had a good thing going."
"Well did you ever talk about it?"
"No. Things were just going so well, I didn't think I had to. I thought we were both on the same page."
Emily knew she had to divulge. She couldn't let Kirsten torture herself anymore. "Kirsten, I am going to tell you something, but you have to swear to me on our friendship that you cannot breathe a word of this to anyone."
"Okay. You are scaring me a bit."
"Don't be scared. I just can't listen to you wallow in misery anymore and to be honest with you, Paul is sick and tired of hearing it from Sandy as well."
"What are you talking about?" Kirsten was really confused.
"Sandy has been questioning your feelings for him for weeks now."
"Really? Why? Wait, how do you know that?" Her thoughts were just rambling out, not filtering through her brain.
"Paul told me, but if he knew I was telling you this right now, I honestly think him and I would be finished. You have to promise me, not a word of this to anyone."
"I promise, but why was he questioning me?"
"Because he was waiting for you to invite him to some party in Newport."
Kirsten jolted straight up. "What? That's ridiculous."
"Not to him, it wasn't. He drew his own conclusions, thinking maybe you weren't serious about him. Not serious enough to take him home and meet your dreadful father."
"It wasn't like that. I thought about taking him to that party, but I didn't want to put him through it all. I didn't want to send him running in the opposite direction." Kirsten couldn't believe this. If Sandy had just been honest with her, she wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
"I'm sure he didn't see it that way."
"Thanks for telling me all this Em, but it still doesn't give him the right to take someone else out on Valentine's Day."
"You don't even know if that is true." Emily felt the need to defend him.
"I can't believe this. I can't believe he didn't say anything to me." Not fully believing he wasn't spending the night with someone else.
"He can't believe you didn't say anything either. The way I see it, this is both your faults."
Emily left to spend the entire day with Paul. Their relationship was so healthy. There was never any miscommunication, both of them jumping in without a glance back, fearless and uninhibited. Kirsten went back to bed, deciding that Sandy needed to take the next step. She was not supposed to know anything and promised Emily to keep her mouth shut.
Valentine's Day Night
Kirsten had not left her room all day. She didn't want to go outside and take the chance of running into couples walking on campus with the look of love in their eyes. The thought made her sick, secretly wishing she was one of them. She kept her mind occupied with her studies, not wanting to think about Sandy and what he was doing. If she let her mind wander, her stomach did flips. She didn't want to think about him getting ready to take out someone else.
The shrill ring of the phone interrupted her. "Hello?"
"Kirsten, hey, it's me." It was Emily and she was whispering.
"Why are you whispering?"
"Not that I should be telling you this, but I am at Paul's house and Sandy is here."
"That's not a big secret Emily. He lives there."
"I can't talk long, but wanted to let you know that he is sitting here, in pajama pants and a t-shirt, studying. So just when you think you got it all figured out, you don't. He is not going anywhere, with anyone tonight."
"Are you serious?" Kirsten couldn't help but smile. She was never so happy to be wrong about something.
"Yeah. I have to go, but I will talk to you later."
Kirsten hung up the phone, feeling so good about the situation. She knew half of the problem was her.
She still had not figured out why he didn't want to go out tonight, but she could understand why he was upset about the party.
She forced her eyes back to her books, trying not to think of Sandy sitting in his house alone. After attempting to read the same page for the fourth time, she made the bold decision to go over there and talk to him. What was the worse that could happen? He could think she was totally out of her mind. She didn't care at this point because she was going out of her mind sitting there, replaying every moment in their relationship.
About two hours later, she knocked on the front door of his house. She spent the first hour primping herself to look simply her best. She thought that if he thought she was crazy, at least his last impression of her look would be attractive. She spent the last hour going over in her head how this conversation would play out. She heard someone unlock the door and watched the door handle turn. Never in her life was she so nervous, but she knew what she had to do.
Sandy opened the door, and sure enough, he was not dressed to leave the house anytime soon. Emily was right. He had no plans.
"What are you doing home? She needed to attack first. She wanted to start by backing him into the corner.
He wouldn't fall into her game. "What are you doing here?"
She couldn't let him win. "Why did you lie and say you had something to do tonight?"
He wouldn't back down. "Why did you end our evening last night so abruptly?"
"Why can't you just answer my question?"
"Why can't you answer mine?"
Kirsten broke eye contact with him first, looking down at her shoes, smiling in frustration. "I asked you first. What are you doing home?"
"I was studying. What are you doing here?"
"I came to find out why you lied to me about having something else to do tonight. I can't figure it out. Why?"
He had to answer her. He knew he owed her that much. He looked anywhere, but in her eyes, not wanting her to read his raw emotions that danced on through his eyes. "I didn't want to push it."
Kirsten had no idea what he meant, but was starting to get aggravated. "Sandy, I am not pulling teeth here. I am just asking you for an explanation."
"I don't know how to explain it any better." He wished he could formulate the words that would read the open novel to his heart.
"Well, you better start trying." She could put on the tough girl act if he needed her to. "I took the first step. I am standing here, at your front door, demanding something more. You know I always get what I want. What didn't you want to push?"
"Us." He simply answered. Again, he avoided her eyes.
For the first time, she was the one demanding eye contact. She took her hand and cupped his face turning it toward her. "I am asking you to explain yourself." She watched him struggle with the words, and when he didn't say anything, she removed her hands discontinuing any physical touch. She backed away from the door, turned around and started heading for the stairs that lead to the sidewalk.
"Please don't go." She almost missed it, he said it so low.
"You're not giving me a reason to stay. All I know is that if you don't say something soon, I am going to walk away and things between us will never be the same. They will never be right." She looked at him with hopeful eyes. Again he didn't speak. She felt the tears forming in her eyes, one slipping down her porcelain cheek. She didn't want him to her like this. She turned away from him, wanting to put an end to this misery.
She started to walk down the street, each step taking her further away, discouraging anything good to come of this.
"Kirsten!" He yelled for her down the street. She turned and faced him, seeing his eyes telling a story, even from that distance. "I'm afraid. Okay? Are you happy? For the first time in my life, I'm afraid."
She started walking back toward him, but he met her halfway. She pointed to her face, her sullen features. "Is this the look of happiness? What about us didn't you want to push?"
They started walking back down the street with no destination in mind. "I didn't know how you saw me. I didn't know what you expected of me. I didn't know how serious you were about us. We never spoke about it before because I was too afraid to broach the subject. Afraid of what you might say, hoping for the best, fearing the worst. I purposely didn't want to do anything tonight because Valentine's Day causes too much pressure and with your fragile feelings in the mix, I didn't want to..."
"Fragile feelings? Where did that come from?" She interrupted his monologue.
"Kirsten, come on. As much as I would like to think a girl like you could end up with a guy like me is possible, I am not an idiot. I know how the world works. I get it."
"You are an idiot. You don't get it at all."
"Who are you trying to fool? If you wanted anything more from this, from us, you would have asked me to come to Newport with you in a few weeks. I thought it just slipped your mind, but when I brought it up to you again, you blew it off, never asking me my thoughts on going. After careful thought, I realized why you wouldn't want to go back there with me. You embarrass too easily Kirsten."
Kirsten was furious that he was misreading her this way. "You're delusional. You think..."
It was his turn to interrupt her. "You think you would have wanted to bring me there to piss off your father. Could you imagine the look on his face if you walked in, slumming it, with me on your arm? It might be worth using me just for that."
Kirsten finally understood. She finally got where he was coming from. She just never thought Sandy Cohen was this fucked up. She never thought his confidence levels would ever lie this deep in the gutter. They arrived at the front gates of the park and continued walking through, down the winding path.
"You have to stop this. Stop speaking because you have no idea how hurtful your words are. I didn't mention the party because, never in a million years, did I want you to experience how awful it would be. I didn't want you to have to deal with my father, with Jimmy or the whole society of Newport for that matter." She felt her voice rising, making sure to get her point across. "I didn't want you to see how much work it would be, how much you would have to take, how much pride you would have to swallow to spend an evening with me there. I was afraid that it would have scared you and I wasn't willing to take that risk."
Sandy couldn't fathom this girl could be ashamed of her background. If anyone in this scenario should be ashamed of their upbringing, it should be him. Poor, blue-collar, single parent household was not something you bragged about.
Kirsten continued, "When you didn't want to do anything tonight, I thought you had plans with someone else. You made me question every single thing that has happened between us over the past few months."
"I told you weeks ago..." He stopped walking, using both his hands to cup her face, forcing eye contact. "There are no other girls in my life, not anymore. I don't know what I have to do to get that through that thick head of yours." He smiled, letting her know he was kidding.
She smiled back. "Well, I have trust issues."
Sandy looked around at his surroundings, remembering the last time they were in that exact same spot. "You didn't the last time we were here."
Kirsten recognized where they were standing. They were close to where their pile of clothes were the night they went skinny dipping. Just the thoughts of that night made Kirsten blush. "I thought for sure you were going to run off with my clothes."
"Are you kidding? I was afraid to do anything that night. Never in a million years did I think you were going to jump in."
"Well, I think you help me lose my inhibitions."
Sandy leaned in to kiss her, wanting to be close to her, knowing how good she felt. As their lips met, he knew he never wanted this to end. He knew he needed to disclose these feelings. He reluctantly parted his lips, keeping his face close to hers. "This is the exact place when I knew."
"When you knew what?"
"That I didn't want to be with anyone else. That no one could ever compare or live up to you. That no one would ever challenge me the way you do. I loved that you let me see your wild side, that you felt comfortable enough to show it. Your smart and not in a cocky way. Your smart in an intelligent sexy way and no girl I have ever met backs me into a corner better than you do. My only regret is that I should have told you sooner so we could avoid this sort of miscommunication. I know I have issues that I am truly working hard on getting past. They are my doubts and my insecurities, but never once were they about us. They were about me."
She wanted to interrupt and let him know he could stop talking. He didn't need to say another word. She was all his and no more words were necessary. "Sandy, you..."
"Let me finish. I need to get this out. From the minute you jumped into that water, I knew I wanted you all to myself. I never felt that way before. Even when Rebecca and I started out, we both dated other people intermittently. It killed me to see you with Trevor, but I knew you were smarter than him. I hated seeing you with Michael, knowing he was a good guy and he deserved a chance with you because I blew it. Kirsten, I am standing here now, telling you that I don't want to date anyone else and it quite possibly will kill me if you date anyone else. I want you to take me to Newport and face your father so I can prove to you that I am worthy to go, but more importantly, that you are worth all the aggravation I am going to face. So what do you say?"
"I say okay. I say you are crazy to want to come because I really don't think you know what you are in for. I say that I am going to try and trust you more. I say that I don't want to be with anyone else either. I say that I am going to wash away all your doubts and insecurities, vowing never to hurt you the way she did. I'm not that cruel. And I say that you are by far the most attractive, sexy guy to ever cross my path. I say okay."
Sandy was thrilled. He wrapped his arms around her, scooped her up and twirled her around, just like he did on the beach when you found out about his acceptance to Berkeley Law. As soon as he put her back down, he cupped her face and kissed her passionately.
"Any chance you want to relive the last park experience we had?" He had to ask.
"Sandy! The water is probably freezing. Are you crazy?"
"If you only knew just how much!" He put his arm around her shoulders, as they walked out of the park and headed back to his house.
Beginning of March - Two Weeks until the Newport Party
Kirsten and Sandy spent the past few weeks truly enjoying each other's company without the major weight on their shoulders. They both knew how they felt, they both made the commitment to each other, not dating anyone else, both loving the openness and honesty.
Kirsten would never admit it to Sandy, but she was a nervous wreck about Sandy coming to Newport. She knew she had to get over it. She had to face the music if she seriously wanted things to work between her and Sandy. She felt that he did have those charming qualities that could quite possibly win everyone over, just not her father. Caleb Nichol was not easily impressed.
She wanted to make this as easy as possible for Sandy which meant she need to prep him. She needed to make sure he knew what to expect in terms of dinner, dancing and Newport etiquette. She just didn't know how to bring it up without insulting him.
One Saturday night, Kirsten decided she had to bring it up. They were lying in her bed for about two hours in each other's arms just enjoying the quiet. They joked about how they chose this over going to the bars and getting drunk. As she rested her head on his chest, he played with her hair, noticing how unusually quiet she was. Her one word answers spoke volumes that she had something on her mind she wasn't sharing with him.
"What are you thinking about right now?" They always played this old familiar game.
"Newport." She answered, afraid to say anything more.
It didn't take a genius to figure this one out. "Well assuming you are probably not worried about the economy and hoping this has nothing to do with Jimmy, I think it is a safe bet to say this is about me going there."
"You have no idea what you are getting yourself into." She used her left hand to rub over his chest hoping the words to come would not hurt too much.
"I think I can handle it."
"Sandy, I feel like I should prep you for what is to come...just so you are not completely caught off guard."
"Prep me?"
"Yeah. I am not worried about you winning over the crowd. You are a natural charmer. I am just concerned about the other stuff."
"What other stuff?"
"Well..." She looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest. "Do you know how to Waltz?"
He chuckled. "Of course I know how to Waltz. We went Waltzing every Wednesday night in the Bronx."
"Sandy, be serious!"
"How can I be serious when you are asking me ridiculous questions?"
She broke the eye contact, putting her head back down on his chest. "Nevermind." She spoke softly.
Sandy didn't mean to laugh. She was obviously concerned and he should have taken it more seriously. "Okay, besides the Waltzing, what else are you worried about?"
"Oh I don't know...the seven course meal, when you are going to rent a tux, if you are going to be able to handle all the stares and glares, what Jimmy is going to say to you, how my father is going to react."
He sighed, underestimating how big of a deal this was to her. "Kirsten, just answer me one question. Are you concerned about these things because you are worried about me embarrassing you or are you worried for my sake?"
"I told you before, I'm want to take you because it means something to you. I wanted to take you so I might actually have some fun. I am worried because I want for you to feel as comfortable as possible and I am just trying to prepare you."
"Well here is how I see it. We have two weeks. You can teach me the Waltz. I am not making any promises to be perfect, but I'm willing to try. The seven course meal shouldn't be so hard since I know to work the silverware from the outside in, right? I am going to get my hair cut and rent a tux next week which will help decrease the amount of stares and glares. As for Jimmy, nothing he could say will stun me and your father, I can handle." Sandy thought this was simple enough.
She looked up at him again. "Thank you for trying to make me feel better, but my father is the one thing that is going to get to you. He has this ability to drive anything and everything out of my life that he doesn't see fit."
He leaned in to kiss her, reassure her he would try his best. "Nothing he is going to say is going to catch me off guard. I can discuss politics, golf, curent events, the economy, big business. What is he going to throw at me?"
"He will make it personal."
Sandy couldn't help but laugh. "I have nothing to hide." He thought about the most ridiculous thing he would ask. "What can he possibly comment on? Is he going to ask about my background, religion, sexual history? Stop worrying. He is not going to drive me away from you."
Kirsten hoped he still felt this way a month from now, but she highly doubted it. She put her head back down as he continued, once again to play with her hair. After a few minutes of silence, he asked her again. "What are you thinking about right now?"
"This time you really are going to wish you didn't ask."
He rolled her over, so they both resting on their sides, facing each other. "Now you have to tell me."
"Well, we never really spoke about this before, well we did from my perspective, but not from yours, and..."
"Kirsten, I'm the one that rambles. Just say it."
"Well you just mentioned the words sexual history and I was wondering how many women you have been with?"
Sandy rolled flat on his back and sighed in frustration, staring at the ceiling. "What does it matter now?"
"It doesn't matter. Your answer is not going to change anything between us. I was just curious. You asked what I was thinking and I told you. That's all there is to it." Kirsten couldn't give a more honest answer.
"Just so you know it is not something I am proud of, and although you think you have an idea, I know you are way off in your estimate."
"I have a range in my head." She admitted.
"Why don't you tell me your range?"
"That's not fair. You are turning this on me now?"
"Well if it is that important for you to know, then you will tell me."
"If I had to make an educated guess, I would have to say anywhere between forty to sixty-five women?"
He laughed. Kirsten didn't know what to make of his laugh. Was it that she guessed too low? Could he have been with so many more women than that, he thought her guess was amusing? Sandy suddenly rolled on top of her giving her a soft kiss, staring into her eyes. "I'm flattered, but you are way off! Even if you cut that range in half, you still wouldn't have the right answer. But thank you!"
"Really?"
"Really! I really don't want to talk about this anymore, but you should know one thing. You are the first of them all that put thoughts in my head to stop the number from climbing anymore. That should mean more to you than any number disclosed."
She wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a deep kiss, her tongue gliding in his mouth, indicating she wanted to take this further. He moved his lips to her neck, sliding his hands underneath her tank top, seeking to feel her smooth skin. "It means the world to me." She whispered.
He took the hem of her tank and pulled it up over her head, revealing a black satin bra trimmed in lace. "You're so beautiful, you know that? I'm so lucky."
Kirsten rolled on top of him. "You're about to be!" He laughed, wrapping his arms around her, never wanting to let go.
End of March - Day of the Party.
Kirsten was in her room packing up some last minute stuff, waiting for Sandy to meet her so they could go to the airport together. She was doing everything in her power to relax, although her nerves were getting the best of her. When she told her father she was bringing Sandy to the party, he didn't say anything. She was expecting some words of disapproval, some sort of negative comments. When he said nothing, she figured that he was probably giving her false hope that he would try and be halfway decent.
When Sandy showed up on at her dorm room, he immediately picked up on her uneasy behavior. "Don't be nervous."
She smiled, knowing he was too. "I'm not nervous, just anxious to get this over with."
"Listen to me. It's going to be fine."
She gave her best seductive smile and moved her body close to his, using her fingers to play with the buttons on his shirt. "You know, we can always blow it off." She gave him a light kiss. "Stay here." Another peck. "Under the covers." A longer lingering kiss. "Lock the door." An open mouth kiss. "I can do ungodly things to you!"
He could feel the stirrings in his groin. He loved when she spoke to him like that, but he knew what she was trying to do, avoid the inevitable. "As good as that sounds right now, in about an hour, you can do ungodly things to me on the plane!" He pulled away from her and grabbed her suitcase, waiting for her at the door.
As they boarded the plane, Sandy couldn't believe how lucky Kirsten was to grow up with all these luxuries around her. He tried to hide the amused look on his face, but she noticed. "Don't be smug. This is not what it's all cracked up to be."
Joel greeted them and told them to prepare for take-off in ten minutes. As he made his way to the cockpit, Sandy followed him, expressing an interest in the visual display. When he returned, Sandy had a goofy grin on his face.
Kirsten waited for them to take off before she asked him. "What was that about?"
Sandy unbuckled his seatbelt and made his way over to Kirsten's leather seat. "I was just making sure that we weren't interrupted. I didn't think you wanted your friend Joel there to see you doing ungodly things to me!"
When they arrived to Newport, Sandy was once again in awe. Everything seemed like it was out of a movie including the fancy cars, the upscale stores, the well groomed streets and all the mansions. As they drove to her house and pulled into her development, Sandy began to feel a little uneasy.
She couldn't help but notice. "Don't be nervous. You are the only thing keeping me from going insane."
"I'm fine."
"Then wipe that look off your face. It's not that appealing. You'll see."
No words were spoken when they arrived at the Nichol mansion. Of course she had to live in the biggest house on the highest hill, he thought. As they got out of the car, he made his way over to the trunk to grab their bags. She lightly touched his hands, telling him to stop. She turned his attention to a man who seemed to work as a porter. He looked incredulously at her. "Kirsten, I can manage carrying our own things."
"Just embrace it, okay?"
He shrugged his shoulders, his eyes once again telling the story of fear. She wanted to put him at ease. She leaned up against him when no one was looking and lightly kissed him. "Lets go in and get this over with and after this is all said and done, I'll let you do anything you want to me."
He laughed, his eyes turning from fear to dancing with excitement. "Anything?"
"Almost anything!" She started to lean in again, when she heard the clearing of someone's throat. She didn't have to turn around to know it was her father. She saw the fear in Sandy's eyes return almost immediately.
"Hi Dad." Kirsten said still looking at Sandy, glad she kept her voice low. Sandy broke their eye contact and looked over at Kirsten's father, knowing this was not going to be easy. Kirsten grabbed his hand and walked over to the front door where Caleb stood. "Dad, This is Sandy who I mentioned to you over the phone. Sandy, this is my father."
Sandy felt like he should take the initiative. "Hello sir. It's nice to meet you...formally that is." He held out his hand, waiting for Caleb to shake it.
Caleb gripped Sandy's hand a little bit too tightly, trying to show who controlled this situation. "Ahh yes, the boy from the restaurant that never returned with our drinks."
"Dad!" Kirsten gave him a warning glare. "I figured it would be at least ten minutes before the insults started flying." She reached out for Sandy's hand and pulled him toward the front door, past Caleb. "Come on, lets go in and get settled before the party.
Caleb whipped around. "Kirsten, the boy sleeps in the pool house."
"Yes sir." She sarcastically replied as she saluted him just to piss him off.
As she led him to the pool house, and he saw his accommodations, he was rather pleased, but it was evident Kirsten was already upset.
"I can't believe him. The pool house? He always let Jimmy stay in the guest room in the house. This is ridiculous."
"Kirsten, it's okay."
"This is far from okay! Please tell me you want to leave. Say the word and we can be back in Berkeley in 2 hours flat!"
Sandy wrapped his arms around her, in an attempt to calm her down. "I think your father just did us a favor."
She spun around anticipating a kiss as she questioned him. "How so?"
"It's going to be much easier for me to do things to you out here than in there." He looked over at the house.
She smiled and leaned in to kiss him. As their lips met, the door to the pool house swung open. "Kirsten the party starts in an hour. I suggest you go get ready. The Coopers will be here early for cocktails."
"Okay." Kirsten looked at Sandy, afraid to walk out of there with her father still present. "I'll be back in a little bit to help you with your bowtie."
Sandy smiled back, hoping to reassure her that it everything was going to be fine. He watched her leave and immediately turned his attention to his suitcase, not wanting to force a conversation.
"You know you are here just to piss me off." Caleb needed to get his point across.
"Kirsten said you were going to say that."
"Kirsten thinks she knows me pretty well, but the tables are turned. She doesn't realize how well I know her."
Sandy stood there in silence, not looking Caleb in the eye. He didn't want to appear cowardly by not making eye contact. Words were overrated. He would let Caleb do the talking.
"Do you know Jimmy?"
"I know of Jimmy. Why?"
"Jimmy and Kirsten will marry someday. He loves her very much. Our families will merge and continue to prosper and carry on a legacy of power in this community."
Sandy smirked, not believe this guy was for real. This only made Caleb livid. "What are you smiling at?"
"I don't think you know your daughter at all." Sandy simply stated.
"Tonight, you will see. Jimmy and her were fit for each other. Keep your eyes open tonight and you will recognize it. I won't have to speak another word to you about it. You seem like moderately smart kid. Believe me, you won't miss the tell-tale signs." Caleb started to walk out, thinking that would be his first and last conversation with Sandy Cohen. He tuned back and added in one last comment. "By the way, I don't appreciate requests for uninterrupted time with my daughter on my jet."
Later that evening, Sandy waited for Kirsten to come in the pool house to help him with his tie. She was dressed in red and she looked amazing. "Wow! You're beautiful."
She kept her eyes locked, letting him know he was changing her. "Thank you." She said gracefully. She picked up the bowtie, wondering what transpired with her father. "Dare I ask?"
"Don't. It will only upset you and I know he is just trying to rile me up. It's expected."
After a few minutes, they made their way into the main house, everything seemed fine to Kirsten. The doorbell rang and the Coopers were let in, including Jimmy and his date Julie. Kirsten couldn't help but be shocked by his choice. She was the complete opposite of her. Sandy noticed her staring and knew what was going through her head. "Are you okay?" It bothered him that it bothered her. She shouldn't care, but he knew it must have been awkward. Introductions were made followed by small talk and cocktails.
Kirsten leaned over to Sandy and said she had to go to her room and get something. She needed to take a swing of vodka. She politely excused herself, knowing her father would flip if Sandy followed her to her bedroom. She vowed to come right back, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
After about thirty seconds, Jimmy excused himself and climbed the curvy staircase. Apparently that's okay, Sandy thought. He took it with a grain of salt. He really didn't have another option.
"Kir?"
Kirsten heard Jimmy's voice and she opened her door to let him in. "Want some?" She held the bottle up from behind her back.
"Always."
She waited for him to finish, becoming impatient. "Jimmy, I have to get back down there. I don't want to leave Sandy high and dry. You know how my father can be."
"How serious are you with him?"
Kirsten smiled loving that she could express it openly. "Pretty serious." She didn't want to get into details with him about it. It wasn't his business. "Come on." She grabbed the bottle and hid it, before rushing Jimmy out of her room.
Sandy kept staring at the top of the staircase, wondering what the hell was going on up there. Caleb noticed this, knowing their conversation earlier struck a nerve. He walked over to him and whispered. "And this is only the beginning of the night." He chuckled, wanting to piss him off some more.
Kirsten knew Sandy was not pleased about her leaving, but she explained to him that she wanted a drink and was not allowed to do so in front of her father. As the evening progressed, things only got worse. As Sandy was introduced to all of Kirsten's friends, he knew they didn't approve. Kirsten didn't seem to care what they thought, but it still hurt. At dinner, he grabbed the wrong spoon for the intermezzo and everyone seemed to notice. Jimmy's cocky grin didn't help matters. But the icing on the cake was the Waltz. Sandy spent two weeks learning that dance so he would be able to have Kirsten in his arms, for a few minutes at least.
"Would you like to dance?" Sandy was trying to play the part and as much as Kirsten appreciated the concerned effort, she knew this wasn't him. She took his hand and led him out to the dance floor. Sandy never felt so self conscious in his life. He felt like he was inside a fishbowl at an aquarium. After the first few steps, Sandy felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and the look in his eyes told the story of disappointment.
Caleb spoke first. "Kirsten, I would like for you to Waltz with Jimmy. You don't mind, do you Sanford? It's just that Jimmy and Kirsten have perfected these steps over the past ten years." He turned his attention back to Kirsten. "You will look much more graceful with Jimmy leading."
Sandy reluctantly let go and stepped aside. Caleb walked away and Jimmy stepped in. Kirsten mouthed the word "Sorry" with the deep look of regret playing on her features.
Sandy walked to the edge of the dance floor and watched. Kirsten's face changed from regret to happiness as Jimmy was making her laugh about something. It was like she completely forgot how rudely they were interrupted. As if his night couldn't get any worse, Caleb approached him one last time. "She looks happy, doesn't she?"
"Yes." He responded sadly. He waited for Caleb to continue, but when he didn't Sandy continued. "I just wonder if it's genuine." He kept his eyes focused on her trying to read her nonverbal behavior.
"If you want her to be genuinely happy, you should step aside. I am not saying you don't care for my daughter because I'm sure you do, but a man like you could never make her genuinely happy. There is no way you would be able to provide for what she is worth. Don't stand in the way of her opportunity." With that, he was gone.
Sandy didn't want to watch anymore. He wanted to be the one holding her in his arms. He made his way down to the beach and was walking along the sand, clearing his head, taking into consideration Caleb's words. She found him about twenty minutes later.
"I've been looking all over for you. I'm sorry about that. My dad has a way of..."
"Kirsten, don't." He interrupted. "It's okay." He looked sad and that left only one explanation.
"What's going on? It's my father right? What did he say to you?"
"Nothing that wasn't true." He turned away from her, wanting to do what was in her best interest.
"I knew that this was going to happen. I knew that by coming here you were going realize that I am not worth all of this aggravation."
"Kirsten, you are worth it, but..."
Kirsten interrupted him this time, anger streaking across her face, her voice rising. "You have to tell me what he said so I can make you understand that it's not true. Let me make this right."
"This isn't about me and how I feel about you. This is about you and your future."
"Well, lets make this about how you feel. I knew my father would push you in the opposite direction. I know that you could never accept this part of my life. The whole package is not worth..." She was almost screaming.
But Sandy's voce was at full force, louder than the party in the distance, louder that the waves crashing and louder than her own. "Stop talking about self worth! I love you! I love you way more than how much I hated the aggravation I felt tonight. This isn't about you being worthy of me not running. This is about me being worthy to have the opportunity to love you."
She let his words sink in, but didn't waste another second, not wanting time to lapse, her voice lower, but still firm. "Well you know what? I love you too. I love you in a way that I never thought imaginable. So, whatever thoughts are still dancing around in your head, forget them. I don't want to hear them. I don't care about them. All I care about is how I feel right now and how you feel right now. Everything else is secondary."
"And your future? I don't think you fully thought this through. I can never give you all of this." He was referring to the whole Newport lifestyle.
"I never asked for it either."
"God, you're so stubborn." He said exasperated.
"It must be one of the things you love about me." She smiled, feeling like they broke down a major wall between them.
He cupped her face and kissed her passionately. "One of many."
They stayed on the beach that night until the party dispersed. Neither of them wanted to face the crowd, but really they both were just worried about facing Caleb. As they walked back from the beach, Sandy stopped in front of the pool house. "I think this is my stop."
"But you made a promise to me." She smiled seductively and leaned in to kiss him, pressing her breasts against his chest. She whispered making sure no one heard her speaking dirty, especially in Newport. "You promised to do ungodly things to me." She felt a twinge in his groin as she wrapped her arms around his neck, urging to get closer to him.
"I get it." He said sarcastically. "You want your father to kill me, is that it?"
"No." She said innocently. She pulled herself away, arching an eyebrow, at his clearly evident arousal. She opened the door to the pool house and called back to him. "But you know I always get what I want."
They made love in the pool house that night with no interruptions. As she made her way back to the main house, Sandy stared at that image, wanting to burn it into his brain forever, knowing he would never see it again. The sexiest girl he ever knew making her way back to her bedroom, as he watched with beautiful ocean views through three walls made of glass. Little did he know, two years later, he would be staring at the exact same image, the night before his wedding day.
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