Chapter Seventeen
At seven o'clock, the doorbell sounded.
Fuji emerged from the kitchen and moved to open the door, removing the apron around his waist as he walked.
"You are back."
He greeted easily, a bright smile on his face, gesturing towards the table as the other man stepped into the apartment.
"Lets eat."
They ate in silence initially, as Fuji pondered over his words. The scene that he had spent the whole day rehearsing played once more in his head and he gulped down a mouthful of water to clear his throat before speaking.
"I'm looking for a job."
He tried his best to appear casual, pretending that he had not deliberately hid it for so long.
Atobe appeared surprised for a brief moment.
"What do you want to do?"
He regained his composure quickly.
"I'm not sure yet. "
"I see."
He was careful not to probe further.
"Any ideas?"
Fuji asked suddenly, the smile on his face widened as looked at the man before him.
"I'm not sure what you like to do."
Atobe remained cautious, his tone politely interested yet deliberately unconcerned at the same time.
"Right."
Fuji looked down at his plate. The smile on his face slowly fading, replaced by a troubled expression.
"Keigo."
He spoke after a long moment.
Standing up quietly, he walked slowly towards the other man, taking in the uncertainty in his eyes and the weariness in his features as he moved closer. Suddenly, without any warning, he buried his head firmly against the taller man's shoulder, his face against Atobe's neck as he begun to weep.
He tried to speak but words failed him. The tears continued to fall.
He felt Atobe's arms going gently around him, supporting him steadily and pulling him closer. He buried himself further against the warm body, losing himself in the familiar scent that he longed for, seeking comfort in the gentle heat and rhythmic heartbeat.
The words that he longed to say burst out in the whole torrent of tears, he was tired, scared and worried, afraid to lose the happiness they once had. It was a fear he had harboured since the first time he heard about their past, but it came to him more acutely than ever now, for now he realised that he never wanted to lose the man that sat before him, that he loved him.
They sat there together for a long time.
Atobe remained silent as Fuji wept, allowing the warm tears to seep through the material of his shirt and fall against his skin, holding the other man close as he fought to steady the thin figure than shook gently with every muffled cry.
Finally, the sobs turned soften and the shaking became less violent. After a long while, all was silent. Fuji's eyes were closed peacefully, his face was pale and exhausted and his leaned weakly against Atobe.
Picking him up gently, Atobe returned to his own room with Fuji in his arms, laying him gently down on the bed beside him, watching the tear-stained face in the same way that he did the previous night, his aching as he fought to imagine what could have brought such an outburst.
Fuji stirred suddenly.
"Keigo."
The weak voice sounded, soft and pleading.
Atobe leaned forward instantly, gently placing his hand on the silky brown hair, stroking him gently with soft calming motions.
"Keigo."
He repeated, more urgently this time as the blue eyes opened slowly, the remnants of teardrops remained on his eyelashes.
Atobe did not speak, but watched him silently, his eyes unreadable.
"I don't want to remember the past anymore."
His voice was suddenly strong, a mere whisper yet filled with firm certainty.
He saw the surprise in Atobe's face that moment, followed by a bitter smile that flashed across his face.
Atobe remained silent.
"Let's be together always.
It was a plea. His eyes were hopeful as he looked up into the dark eyes.
The only response was silence.
A hint of fear crossed his eyes and Fuji moved forward suddenly, weakly wrapping his arms around Atobe's neck before leaning towards his face and pressing his own lips against the other's lips. The arms that he had wrapped around Atobe's neck tightened as he reduced the distance between them further, fearing that Atobe would push him away.
Atobe remained motionless.
The former tensai ran his tongue hungrily against the other man's lips, losing itself in the sweetness that he claimed as his own as a sudden sense of déjà vu overtook him. The memory of the previous night returned to him, the taste of alcohol on the warm breath, the intoxicating feeling of a foreign presence exploring his mouth, the thrill of having Atobe so close to him. With that memory, he turn bolder, pushing his tongue through the half-parted lips, teasing and hungry as he ran his lips across the neat rows of teeth, tasting the fruit that he sought after for so long.
Suddenly, he felt a warm pressure against his waist as Atobe pulled him closer. The caverns that he had explored so freely sudden became less inviting as he found himself turning form invader into victim, as the familiar presence from the night before invading his mouth once again, firing his desires and eliciting a moan of pleasure from his throat even as he fought to breathe.
His lips were hardly in a position to do anything else, but his heart was singing.
When they finally broke apart for oxygen, a tiny smile crept up his lips.
"We will be together, for eternity."
He promised himself, as sleep claimed him.