This time Thalia was nice enough to give me a little inspiration for this part. I know for a fact that there will be at least ten chapters, seven of which are now done. This (and the next chap) takes place during 'Meridian'.

I'll be kind enough to stop now so you can read.

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'I can't do this,' thought Sam in exasperation.

Daniel was away at a village council meeting (being married now, he had to attend, though others were reluctant because he wasn't a native) and she was left home to cook. She looked at her flour-covered hands in disgust. 'I can look Death in the eye, and literally die and come back, I can shoot at and kill over a dozen armored Jaffa, but I can't cook to save my life.'

That was why Daniel had been the one to cook. They both knew Sam's lack of ability and he took over the chore by silent, mutual consent.

It was also by silent, mutual consent that they never spoke of home or anyone there. This was home now and these were their people, whether they liked it or not. She had definitely thought about everyone. And especially wondered whether Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c were alive and okay, brainwashed and serving Camaxtli, or just plain dead. She hoped it wasn't the second one, and really hoped it was the first one.

She and Daniel had long-since given up hope of being found. The Tok'ra had no business with the people here and neither did any of their other allies. The only chance they would have was being taken by another Goa'uld System Lord, but seeing how Camaxtli was so low on the food chain, that wasn't likely either.

In the two years they had been in this planet, Sam hated to admit that it actually was home now. Both she and Daniel had really good friends, a decent place to live, and this was a fairly safe planet if you stayed out of the forest at night. They would never stop missing Earth and their friends, but without a Stargate, they had resigned themselves to the fact that they had no chance of seeing Earth or its people again.

There was a knock at the door. Sam was relieved that there would be some distraction from cooking and dismal thoughts. Opening it, she saw Tayan.

"Come in," she said, quickly ushering the girl in. "So, come to see me?" she asked jokingly. There would be no other reason for Tayan to visit this side of the village if she wasn't here to see Sam.

Finally learning to grasp the concept of jokes and sarcasm, Tayan smiled. "Yes. I have good news. Dahnyel's idea of a woman healer is official. It seems women are gentler and the men like that," smirked Tayan. "I have decided I would like that position."

"Did the entire plan go through?" asked Sam.

Tayan nodded. "I have been giving thought to your planet's laws and how women are equal. If I were to become the healer, then I would have a higher position in our society."

"Yeah, but you can never marry or have children if you take this position," Sam pointed out.

"I can never be under the power of a man again," returned Tayan. "I do not wish to be under their power anymore. I understand you're beliefs now." Her eyes were bright with life that Sam hadn't seen before. "You do not understand what it has been like to live in this inferior postion your entire life. That is why the women are the way they are; believing that there is no other way but to live under men's control. You are my friend and I accepted your beliefs, but now I understand why you hard such a hard time adjusting. Your beliefs and values would not let you become submissive to those you saw as equals. And the position of healer isn't perminant, so if I no longer wanted to continue, I wouldn't have to."

Sam laughed inwardly at Tayan's turn-around. "I just wanted to make sure you wanted the position," she said in mock defense. "So have you studied up?"

It was a good thing Tayan and Sam had been friends for the better part of Sam's time on the planet, so Tayan understood Sam's jokes and the way she spoke.

"Yes, I have," Tayan replied, albeit a bit smugly. Then she turned serious. "You are not with child yet?"

Sam's cheerful mood dimmed instantly. "No. We-we've tried since we got ma-joined but no, I'm not. Why?" She didn't want to admit the possibility that she or Daniel might be sterile. The thought had definitely crossed both their minds, but it was another mutual silence subject.

Tayan said exactly what Sam didn't want to hear. "There my be something wrong. I should make sure that you or Dahnyel are not sick."

"We have a problem of Earth. We aren't completely positive what causes it, but it's called sterility. It means that you are unable to have a child. It occurs in both men and women," Sam reluctantly explained.

"And you fear that you or Dahnyel might not be able to have a child," said Tayan gently. She put a reassuring hand on Sam's shoulder. "You must pray to Chiconahui and hope that she takes favor of you and sends you a child."

"Yeah...yeah, I'll do that," said Sam somberly.

The door opened and Daniel trudged in looking dead on his feet. Out of habit, Tayan quickly stood up and looked at the floor.

Daniel didn't notice. "Hey Sam, Tayan." He kissed Sam on the lips. "I'm going to take a nap. I have been up all night and it's surprisingly hard to pull two all nighters in a row without coffee and chocolate." He smiled and walked into the bedroom.

Sam smiled in amusement. She looked at Tayan who was watching the curtains to the bedroom nervously. "You don't need to do that for Daniel," said Sam softly.

Tayan jumped. "It is as I said Samantha, you have not lived your entire life here. I have suffered my fair share of beatings because I showed lack of respect for men. As you would say, 'Old habits die hard.' I shall take my leave now."

Sam stood up and hugged her friend. "Thanks for your advice. You are welcome to come back any time you want," said Sam. "Daniel won't hurt you." Sam released the girl and held her at armslength. "In fact, he told me himself that he would like to get to know you. You remind me of one of my old friends and I think Daniel misses her. He knows that you have to be nice if you are like her," Sam said reassuringly.

Tayan smiled. "I shall take that into consideration. Do not worry. I will return."

Sam opened the door and her friend walked out.

Judging by the sun's location, it was barely even midday. Sam gave up on trying to cook. She went to the dried food cubbard and picked out the Camaxan form of apples. She cut it up and found a sweet substance that was like the milk from a cocoanut to dip the slices in. Daniel had discovered the mix soon after he arrived and it had to substitute for some of the Earth sweets they no longer had.

Both agreed that coffee was the number one food and/or drink they missed the most. Sam missed raspberry jell-o next and Daniel missed all things chocolate. It was one of their long-going debates about which was better: jell-o or chocolate.

She nibbled at the fruit. It didn't seem to taste as good today and not because of overripeness (especially considering it was dried). The subect of the fact she or Daniel might not be able to have children left a bitter flavor in her mouth. Maybe she should pray to Chiconahui. It wouldn't hurt, considering Chiconahui was an Aztec fertility goddess. She'd have nothing to loose. Except self-respect. Chiconahui was probably another lesser System Lord, which would mean that Sam would be praying to a false god. It may have been something left over from Jolinar or sheer grit, but Sam absolutely refused to pray to a false god.

Sam must have dozed off because the next thing she knew, Daniel was shaking her gently to wake up and it was getting close to evening. "Hey," he said.

She blinked owlishly. "How long was I asleep?" she asked.

"A few hours. I just woke up about and hour ago and saw you asleep at the table. I didn't think that was very comfortable, so I moved you to the bed," he explained.

"Ah, no it probably wouldn't of been good to wake up cramped because of a wooden table," she smirked.

"So what did Tayan want?" asked Daniel, sitting next to her on the bed.

"She came by to tell me she's going to be the next village healer. I never did doubt that you could convince them to pass that. You are very persuasive," she said.

"I thought flirting was reserved for young and in-love couples," said Daniel playfully.

Sam slapped his shoulder. "Last I checked, we are young and in love. Now, I'm hungry. All I had was a couple of those apple slices."

"That's good," said Daniel. "That you're hungry. Kaluck and his party managed to kill a ciervo."

"Really?" replied Sam interested, "Those are really hard to kill. How'd he manage that?"

"A lot of help," said Daniel seriously.

"I wish it would have killed him," muttered Sam.

"Sam," Daniel said admonishingly. "He's the second-chieftan."

"He also hates us," argued Sam. "Especially me, because I refuse to let him walk all over me."

"True, but I don't want him dead just for that. It's not their fault Camaxtli taught their ancestors those beliefs and in turn those beliefs were passed down. It's just the way they've always been and they dodn't want to change," said Daniel reasonably.

"Tayan wants to," Sam said quietly.

"And Kaluck and all the other men didn't even have to die for her to see that."

"I didn't say anything about the other men. But, still, that's true."

"You convinced her."

"Yeah, but no one else. All the other women hated me because of my beliefs and only Tayan gave me a chance. She told me today that she understood I behave the way I do because I don't believe in men being one hundred percent surperior. She now believes the same way and that's why she wants to be the healer. So she will not always be forced into sumitting to men." Sam sat up and leaned into Daniel. He put his arms around her tightly.

"I always think about how Earth is getting along without us," said Sam suddenly. She felt Daniel tense slightly, but continued anyway. "Especially Dad and Mark. I just made up with both of them and suddenly I vanish. I wonder how Dad reacted, and especially Mark. He can't know what happened to me, just that I'm...gone. And Dad-- After Mom died, he became distant for a while. After a couple years, I gave up and estranged myself. Mark was already hateful of Dad and me for defending him, so he was already gone."

"I'm sure they're okay Sam," murmured Daniel.

"But by now they have to think I'm dead. General Hammond can't keep two people kidnapped by a Goa'uld System Lord listed as MIA. Everone probably thinks we're dead by now."

"We don't have to worry Sam. As much as I hate to say it, this planet is our home now. What happens on Earth doesn't concern us, especially since we have no way of even finding out what's going on," Daniel said regretfully. "Besides, if we were still on Earth, we wouldn't be joined."

"And we would have gone on thinking the other never cared for us the same way." Her stomach protested loudly and Daniel chuckled.

"Let's go get some fresh meat," he said.

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Two days later was Tayan's promotion for healer. Hardly any men attended but that only seemed to make the girl happier. Sam was there to congratulate her friend.

"Thanks!" said Tayan, hugging Sam. "I shall not have to live as opressed as before. I have you and Dahnyel to thank for that. You showed me that it is possible to not be in men's control."

"You're welcome," gasped Sam. Who knew the girl could grip that tight!

Tayan released her and looked at her appreciatively. Sam rubbed her arms. "Tonight, I invite you and Dahnyel to dine in celebration in my hut," said Tayan.

"I'll tell Daniel," replied Sam. "Hopefully you can cook a lot better than me."

Tayan laughed softly. "I shall see this evening.

Sam went in search of Daniel while Tayan spoke with some of her other friends. Sam spotted her esposo standing in the back, looking bored and uneasy but his expression brightened when Sam walked over.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey, Sam," he replied.

"Tayan wanted us to celebrate at her hut tonight."

"Sure. Oh! There's something I've been working on that you'll want to see," said Daniel excitedly. A little too eagerly, Sam thought, he led her away from the crowd of women and hurried home. Once in, he hurried to the dry cover, all the while saying, "I just finished it early this morning. Aha!" He pulled out what looked like a bunch of leaves all in a pile. "It's not much, but it's a first for Calax," he said, handing her the pile of leaves.

Upon closer inspection, Sam saw writing on the cover in English. On one side the leaves were bound, just like a book. Turning the first leaf, Sam saw that that was exactly what is was. Or at least it was a journal.

"It's everything that's happened to us since Camaxtli put us here," Daniel explained. "I have a couple others hidden in back. That one is the first year."

"But, we've only been here two years. You said there were a couple others."

"Sam..." said Daniel gently.

"Oh, right," said Sam in understanding. If anyone from Earth ever did find this planet, then these journals would be the only records they were ever there. If that was the case, Daniel would need a lot more than three.

"You can read them if you want," said Daniel.

"I'll be surprised if I remember how speak English again, let alone read it," Sam groaned in mock despair.

"Yeah right," retorted Daniel. "As if you'd ever forget something like English."

"It's easy for you to say, you're a linguist."

"Ah, but English was your first language. I remember Egyptian just fine."

"Huh?"

"Egyptian was my first language. I actually didn't learn English until I was about four."

"Oh geez!" laughed Sam. "While we're on this subject, I can't believe we haven't spoken English since we got here."

"That long, eh?"

"Not that I can recall. I don't want to start though, I reminds me too much of ho--Earth."

"You're as good as Jack at spoiling a good mood," commented Daniel, though not unkindly.

"Do you think he's okay?" asked Sam.

"It's Jack. Besides, he has Teal'c there for him."

"Yeah."

They were silent for a few minutes. Daniel broke the silence. "Come on, let's get ready to go to your friend's."

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Sam and Daniel didn't feel up to celebrating, but they kept a cheerful appearance for Tayan's sake. She sat, gabbing with all of her friends, oblivious to and sadness or discomfort Sam or Daniel might be feeling. They didn't mind too much; it kept attention away from them. Finally, Tayan broke away and pulled Sam aside.

"I know this isn't a good subject for tonight," Tayan began, "but I wanted to know if you wanted me to make sure you and Dahnyel were okay."

Understanding what Tayan meant, Sam shook her head. "I don't know if I could handle it if it were confirmed that we couldn't have children," Sam admitted. "I'd rather be oblivious."

Tayan nodded, sympathy shining in her eyes. "I wish you luck. May Chiconahui bless you."

"Thanks." Sam smiled. "And thanks for offering to make sure we were okay. But I'm not sure Daniel would want to know for sure or not either."

Tayan nodded again.

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That night, after Sam and Daniel were in bed, Sam brought the subject. "I was talking to Tayan again earlier about how I'm not pregnant yet."

Daniel chuckled humorlessly. "You sure like to bring up sore subjects," he commented dryly.

"She offered to make sure we were 'okay'."

"Did you accept it?"

"No. I told her that I'd rather be oblivious to the fact than have it confirmed at that you'd probably agree."

"Sam?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

Sam roled onto her back, tears welling up in her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to have a child and it was looking like she couldn't.

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You'll see why I ended it on that note in a couple of chapters. If you like Terry and Sue, the next chapter is going to be exteremely sad, so beware. Kind of like this chapter, it is going to have to be in the story because it'll be important in a couple of later chapters.

R&R