WHOOT! GET READY FO IT!
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Poor Mika. She was sitting at home with nothing to do. And then a wonderful thought popped into her head! She picked up her pear tree of DOOM! that she'd gotten for Christmas and headed out to HOME NEUTER 002!
But then…
"I shee zat zee patient has shnapped for certain ziss time," 004 said in a really exaggerated accent. "And Sadie, since when did you drive?"
"Well, since whenever I wanted to, Germy-boy." Sadie said happily, drinking Coke out of a bottle. "You losers. Haven't you been to Mika's Coke Induced Asylum of NO FUCKING RETURN lately?"
002 entered. Mika stood up and swatted him with her pear tree. "YOU! I CALLED YOU LAST NIGHT, YOU IDIOT! ANZU TRIED TO BRING BE BACK INSIDE FROM THE POOL BECAUSE I WAS SETTING UP MY OWN SETI INSITUTE!"
And that pretty much freaked everyone out.
Then…
BLACK GHOST WALKED IN!
"Shit, shit. Mikavitch, vee have sheveral sings to talk about today." Black Ghost said, putting on one of those little pairs of glasses and taking out a clipboard.
"WHAT is with the German accents today?" Mika asked, twitching now and trying no to neuter 002 with her BARNES AND NOBLE MALE EMPLOYEE NEUTERING BUTTER KNIFE OF DOOM! and Black Ghost watching her.
"Has she made any progessh?" Black Ghost asked.
"Dude, cut the fucking German. I can always call…" Sadie said, holing up the box of DOOM!.
Black Ghost squeaked. "Okay! Okay! Just don't send me into that crazy place again!"
"I just saved fifteen percent or more on my car insurance thanks to GEICO and 007, KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT!" Mika shouted, running around the room with her hair down from its braids.
"Well, Mika, let's see your improvements since last session." Black Ghost said, taking out a bubble pipe and smoking it. Mika took out her GALLON JUG of Coke and began to drink. Then she pulled out a huge picture of Alexander Hamilton!
"What does your Social Studies class have to do with that bastard?" 002 asked. Sadie grabbed the hammer of DOOM! and hit a home run with 002, scoring fifty points. ((readers: o-kay then…O.O…))
"You don't see?" Mika said, jumping around in her chair. "THE DEAD GUYS FROM THE START OF AMERICA ARE GONNA COME BACK AND PIE US! AND THEN THEY'LL TRY TO TAKE ENZYTE! THE NATURAL WAY TO MALE ENHANCEMENT! "
…And she pointed to her Alexander Hamilton head stuck on a wobbly stick figure taking a BIG ASS pie out of the oven. Mika was sitting on his back, ready to whack him with her frying pan of DOOM, and Thomas Jefferson was trying to French George Washington, Patric Henery was having anal sex with John Smilie, and we won't go into the rest…for your sanity…
"I'm sorry to say that Mika has finally had too much stress, far too much Coke, three times as much jazz as you should have in a month, and she saved more than I did on my car insurance! Damn you!" Black Ghost pouted.
"That's how TONY got his THIRD LEG!" Mika screamed, drinking more Coke.
"Yay! Now I can have a third leg and then all the chicks will come after me!" 002 exclaimed, prancing like a ballerina. Mika grabbed her LEAD BRICK OF DOOM! and hit 002 in the nose with it.
"Fork over the doe, Anzu. I told you Mika saved more with GEICO!" Bakura exclaimed. Anzu unfolded five hundred-dollar bills from her pocket and gave them to 009, who handed them to the UPS man, who then gave 009 a BIG HUGE WHITE ROOM AND STRAIGHT JACKET!
"Now, now, Mika, this is for your own good!" 003 ((PLEASE SEE THE CYBORG CHILDREN IF YOU EXPECT TO GE THIS NEXT PART. IT IS NOT THE FEMALE 009-STEALING 003!)) exclaimed, trying to wrestle Mika into the straight jacket. And just as he had it…
"Stop right there, galactic fiend! I, ATOMIC JETTY, have come to save the poor damsel in distress from you!"
"In the name of all things cute and pink, I, SAILOR JET, will save the PRINCESS JOE!"
"009'S A FEMALE!"
"Thank you for noticing finally."
And there were two 009s! One was wearing all pink and the other was wearing the costume of TUXEDO JOE!
"Stop right there, Black Ghost! We, the PRETTY DUO of SAILOR JET and TUXEDO JOE have come to stop youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Tuxedo Joe shouted as the girl 009 smashed a grammar book in his face.
"It's about time you all showed up! I've wanted you here since I created you!"
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The next morning, Atomic Jetty was flying around on a Vespa, Mika was flying after it on a Coke-powered hoverboard, Sadie was chasing them on the frying pan of DOOM, and everyone else was inside betting on which of the two Coke-high girls was going to NEUTER 002 first.
"Mika."
"Sadie."
"Mika."
"Mika.
"Sadie."
"Ra."
"Sadie."
"Sadie."
"Sadie."
"Mika."
"Mika."
"Mika.
"OMIGOD, IT'S BLACK GHOST!"
And there was Mika, getting Coke into 002's veins through intravenous feeding tubes! And Joe was next to her, laughing and drinking that Caribbean Passion Jamba Juice he got when he went downtown, just standing there and looking evil. Black Ghost was behind them, Frenching…whoa, sure you wanna know…okay, he was Frenching 003 FROM THE MEGAS PROJECT!
"I told you it was going to be him, 007. Hand it over, snap to it!" 006 shrieked in her Australian voice, kicking 007. 007 kicked her right back and changed into a mouse.
"YOU! 007! GET OVER HERE!" Mika shouted evilly from outside. 007 scampered over, knowing that he was meeting his DOOM!.
"I HAVE THE KEYBLADE! MY KEYBLADE!" Mika shouted, running away from him. 007 just stood there, and out of nowhere, Sophia and Amanda appeared to stand next to him.
"This is your fault, isn't it?"
"No, Mika went crazy. Actually, she went crazy a long time ago. It was just the INCREDIBLE STRESS SHE HAS FROM ALL HER TEACHERS BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY'RE GETTING HER READY FOR HIGH SCHOOL!"
"That explains why it says that weird thing about smoked oysters in Celeste's bathroom, that it does." Zero said, frowning and started making out with Ivan.
"INTRAVENOUS COKE!" Mika screamed, then fell out of the sky and began to attack 002.
Amanda and Sophia left.
"I'm going back inside. This is going to be interesting to watch!"
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