NO RETURN! NO RETURN! YOU BELONG TO US! I went back to the original CIM for ideas, so some of this may be familiar to you veterans who have stuck it out. BUT IT'S WAY MORE HILARIOUS THIS TIME!
Chapter 3: Commercial Time! XD
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"Do I HAVE to do it?"
"Just do it. It's for the kids!"
a few minutes later…
"Look at me, I'm the Trix Rabbit! Of course, you stupid kids are too stupid to figure that out, so I'll just get the nukes and bomb you all so I can finally get my hands on the fruitiest cereal that ever existed!" Black Ghost said, having been reduced to wearing a white bunny suit, complete with floppy ears, footsies, and a fluffy tail.
And Mika jumped out from behind a bush. "You IDIOT! Trix are for kids, not stupid rabbits who fantasize about nuclear bombs! Wait, I'm a TEENAGER!"
"…So the main point of this commercial is don't play with nuclear bombs and eat your Trix for breakfast. Oh yeah, and don't take Enzyte with booze. Also, don't confuse jazz and Coca-Cola…you can see the result of that destroying our set." The Black Ghost Trix Bunny said.
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"EVERY DAY I HEAR THAT SOUND, I HOP OUT OF BED!" Mika began to sing, throwing swords at 002's nose again. But these were no ordinary swords. They were SOWRDS OF DOOM!.
"IT'S RICE KRISPIES CEREAL THAT'S SINGIN' IN MY HEAD!" Joe ((as in my beta)) sang, shooting random people as they passed by.
"A SONG SO IRRESISTABLE I WANNA HEAR IT ALL!" Sadie sang at the top of her lungs, flying on the magical vacuum cleaner of DOOM!. She was throwing Rice Krispies over the other two.
"JUST SPLASH A IN SOME ICE-COLD MILK AND IT BEGINS TO CALL!" Ra joined them, calling in her law ninjas and teacups.
"SNAP, CRACKLE, POP, THAT'S WHO WE ARE!" The four screamed, joining together and attacking…
Snap, Crackle and Pop and that weird kid from the cocoa rice krispies commercial.
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"WEEEEEELLLLLLLL…." 002 sang, stuck in a weird chocolate chip cookie costume with a banana painted on his nose"I'M A MONKEY CHIPS AHOY AND I'M ALRIGHT!"
"PACKED WITH CHOCOLATE I'M GONNA KILL MIKA!" 002 from The Megas Project ((from The Cyborg Children)) sang.
"MONKEY CHIPS AHOY I'M A CHOCOLATE JOY! MMMMMMMMMMONKEY CHIPS AHOY!" Both sang, way out of key just to piss me off. So then…
"YOU IDIOTS! IT'S CHUNKY! CHUNKY FUCKING CHIPS AHOY!" Mika screamed, swatting the two with her pear tree of DOOM!.
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Cutscene of 004 punching Hilda, then another scene of 009 kicking 003 in the ass.
People do stupid things.
Scene of Black Ghost, caught on film making out with 0011.
Like pay too much for wireless service.
Scene of the ten twins fucking one another.
So switch to Vonage, the cheap wireless service.
Last scenes of 0013 humping his robot thing and 0012 screwing her dead husband.
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007 walked into a bar. At the counter stood 0021, cleaning glasses. There was a big ass wall of beers to choose from. 007 screamed.
"Whassa matter? What can I get 'cha?" 0021 demanded, crushing the glass in her palms.
007 squeaked.
"Don't you know that you can go around the world and never find a better beer than Sam Adams, the same guy who started the Boston Tea Party? I mean, duh! How cool is it to have a beer named after you, after all you did was dump a bunch of tea in a harbor?" 0021 said.
007 turned to the teleprompter. "Oh yeah, that's right!" He changes into some macho dude. "I'll have a Sam Adams beer, miss."
"Stupid. We're out."
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This is Scarl. Scarl's a happy man, ever since he took Enzyte!
Why, do you wonder, is Scarl a happy man since he took Enzyte? I'll tell you why…HE GREW NINE INCHES, MAN! So take Enzyte, the natural way to male enhancement.
"WHAT! Mika, who told you?"
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"NO."
"Oh well, I guess we'll just have to send you…"
"Okay!"
a few minutes later…((and a little into the song))
"This girl's made for outer space! ((002 jumping up, spinning, and smiling))
"Atomic Jetty I'm a fighting girl!
Atomic Jetty gonna rock your world!
Atomic Jetty I'm a galactic girl!
Atomic Jetty gonna save the world!
Atomic Jetty Atomic Jetty Atomic Jetty!"
"MIKA, YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS!"
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"Just dip the bottle, lick it and shake…EWWWWW!" 003 was singing, until 009 whispered something very nasty in her ear. "It's not a baby bottle pop!"
Mika sighed from off stage. "Baby Bottle Pop, take nineteen. Please, Joe, keep your mouth shut this time. Wait a second…"
She grabbed her duct tape of DOOM! and plastered 009's mouth shut. "Alright, roll it!"
"Just dip the bottle, lick it and shake it!" 003 said. 009 was stabbing the duct tape with the stupid candy.
"Get Black Ghost."
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((I know you were waiting for a long time for this one…))
Fighting evil by moonlight
Winning love by daylight
Never running from a real fight,
She's the one named Sailor…
Sailor Supersonic! ((003 looking constipated, but listening for stuff))
Sailor Berty! ((004 firing a missile, then flipping the camera off))
Sailor Earth! ((005 sighing deeply))
Sailor Flame! ((006 blowing flames at what he thinks is Black Ghost, but turns out to be Gilmore…))
Sailor Morpho! ((007 changing into stuff, and once ends out as 003 with a beard))
Sailor Whirlpool! ((008 blowing Mika off))
She's the one who's gonna defend the Earth! ((scene of Tuxedo Joe, crashing into a wall))
Sailor Jet! ((002 posing with a rose background))
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((I know this is from a while back, but it's still a riot!))
"Hey look, mommy! It's Wise-Crackin' Sailor Jet and Tuxedo Joe!" Some random little kid in a Toys-R-Us store said.
There on the shelf were two dolls, one modeled after Sailor Jet, complete with detachable nose, and the other modeled after Tuxedo Joe.
And the poor victim of fate asked, "Mommy, can I get one?"
Could you guess what Sailor Jet cracked off…?
"Press my ball to hear an interesting sound!"
"You idiot! We're trying to not do that! Remember last time!" Tuxedo Joe warned. The little kid started crying as her mother dragged her away.
"But I wanted to be like Mika and torture them!" The little victim whined.
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"Mika, this is going too far." 008 said, shaking his head. "What did we do to you?"
"Nothing, and that's the point." Mika answered happily. "Besides, just chuck the funking thing at 002's head."
"OKAY, ROLL FIBFINDER!" Sadie shouted.
008 sighed and flipped his fake black hair back and put on a really preppy voice. "Hey, 002? Do you have a crush?"
002 had been forced to wear his hair down. "No. Why the fuck…"
"Press the button on my FibFinder to find out!" 008 giggled. 009 walked in and started cracking up at the scene. 002 pressed the button with his middle finger. The little light came on and…
"My FibFinder says that you DO have a crush!" 008 exclaimed. "Who is it?"
Mika held up the dummy 002 getting the butter knife treatment. 002 instantly replied, "My one true love…is Ruby!"
Sapphire came charging on, punched him in the balls and took the FibFinder and chucked it at his head. 008 fell over backwards he was laughing so hard. 002 recovered and…
"THIS FUCKING THING!" He roared, stomping on it. The scene blurred in the background.
"FibFinder! It can lead you to meet the girl/boy of your dreams! Please do not hold us responsible if it sucks. We're just here to advertise the fucking piece of shit." 0021 said happily.
"THIS THING IS SHIT!"
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"Why do you have an odd obsession with cereal?" Black Ghost asked. Mika sighed.
"Come on, just do it." She begged. He sighed and went onto the set.
"OKAY, S'MORZ TAKE THREE!"
"Great," A kid whined, stuck at a campfire.
"Great!" Another kid who was inside exclaimed.
"Oh man," A kid that was actually 009 whined as he sat at a campfire. But he had just burnt his marshmallow.
"OH MAN!" Black Ghost cheered as another kid, but inside taking a box of cereal out from his cupboard.
"OW!" 009 screamed.
"OW!" Black Ghost shrieked. He said. "I CAN HAVE MY S'MORES…WITH WHORES!"
001 walked on and punched his black mask in. She sighed and popped her green bubble gum in his face.
"You already had your whore fillage for the next year."
"CUT! DAMMIT, WE'RE GONNA BE HERE ALL FUCKING NIGHT!"
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"Get Lucky!" 003 shouted, wearing a little tiny skirt with Black Ghost trying to look up it, while 009 ran next to them and watch 003 bounce up and down.
"Oh no!" 002/Lucky said in fake horror. "They're after me Lucky Charms! But I wonder: can they name ALL the pieces?"
"Hearts, stars and horseshoes!" 009 began. 002 counted off on his fingers and ended by flipping 009 off.
"Clovers and blue moons!" Black Ghost continued.
"Pots with golden rainbows and the red balloons!" 003 finished.
"Damn! You're not supposed to know that! Now I have to give you my cereal! No, I'll just fly away with them!" 002 responded, then flew away.
"Now what?"
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