IT'S HERE! After the long wait, it's time! I LOVE SORA FROM KINGDOM HEARTS! YAAAAAYYYY!
I don't own Cyborg 009 or Poke'mon. I also do not own Fruits Basket, Kingdom Hearts, Gundam Wing, or Yu-Gi-Oh! I want them, though…
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Coke Induced Madness Squared
Cyborg Emerald
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"REMIND ME why the hell we're doing this, Mika." 002 demanded, sitting in Mika's living room. Mika had her hands glued to her GBA and was playing…actually; no one had any idea what the fuck she was playing.
"Because! Because! We're about to do something completely random!" Mika said. 002 got a very bad feeling about this. But then again, when all the cyborgs, Duo, Haru, Bakura, and Sora were present, it was bound to be something that insanity would cower in fear at.
"W'RE PLAYING POKE'MON EMERALD VERSION!" Mika said, throwing the GBA at 002's nose. "Time to decide roles!"
Haru shook his head. "Where's Anzu when you need her?"
Anzu, as it turned out, was hoarding the computer. Hell, Mika was always on the damn thing!
"I will be playing the main character!" Mika said. "And you, 002, will be playing that annoying bastard Brendan! I can kick your ass more often that way!"
004 laughed at him.
"Don't get cocky!" Mika said. "004, you get to be Archie, leader of Team Aqua! I CAN KICK YER ASS JUST AS OFTEN! Well, not really. I get to fight you once!"
"I get the feeling we're going to get good roles," Duo said, combing his hair.
"BLACK GHOST!" Mika exclaimed, drinking a large glass of Coke. "You will be Maxie, the leader of Team Magma!"
"003! You will be Roxanne, leader of the Rostboro City Gym!" Mika said.
"But I want to be someone else! Like Flannery, or even Winona!" 003 complained.
"HAVE YOU HONED YOUR FIRE SKILLS NEAR AN ACTIVE VOLCANO?"
"No."
"DO YOU FLY WITH YOUR BIRD POKE'MON DAILY?"
"What?"
"CAN YOU KICK MINJAE'S ASS SINCE SHE TRAINS GRASS POKE'MON?" ((a/n: Minjae is from Playing With a Full Deck and my name on Emerald))
"Who's Minjae?"
"You can't be either." Mika concluded. "008, you will play Juan, leader of the Sootopolis City Gym."
008 smiled. "YES! The most powerful of all the leaders!"
"You also have to be a pretty-boy. And dual-play Wallace." Mika said. "006, you will be Flannery, Leader of the Lavaridge City Gym."
"Why am I a girl…?" 006 asked.
"001 and…hmmm. Who should he be stuck with…?" Mika asked herself. "OH! I KNOW! You're stuck with 0021! You two will be the leaders of the Mossdeep City Gym!"
(Why me?)
"Okay…Haru, you will be Brawly, leader of the Dewford Town Gym."
"But he's a crappy surfer…"
"Ra?" Mika said. The other crazed authoress appeared in the living room. "You will be dual-playing Glacia of the Elite Four and Winona, leader of the Fortree City Gym."
"YES! I CAN KICK YOUR ASS, EVERYONE!"
"Duo, my sexy God of Death, you will also be dual playing. You will be my daddy Norman, leader of the Petalburg City Gym, and Drake of the Elite Four."
"I'M YOUR DAD?"
The rest of my glomped ones all laughed at him.
"007…your DOOM is here for you!" Mika said. "You will play Wattson, leader of Mauville City Gym and Sidney of the Elite Four! Sorry, but you have to have a mohawk and look fat."
"005, you will be…um…Professor Birch! The annoying dude who calls me on my Poke'Nav!"
"…"
"009! You will be playing the role of Steven, that dude who is an awesome plot device!"
"Not bad…"
"And you, Sora…will be…PHOEBE OF THE ELITE FOUR!"
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Mika jumped out of the truck and into Littleroot Town. "WHAT A FUCKING DUMP!"
"Now, now, Mika. YOU HAVE TO LIKE HOENN! IT'S YOUR DESTINY!" Anzu shouted at Mika…her daughter!
"Besides," 002 said, shouting from his room next door, "I'M GONNA KICK YER ASS, MIKA!"
"NO YOU FUCKING WILL NOT!"
"YES I WILL!"
"002! SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU'RE INTERUPTTING MY MONOLOGUE!" Anzu shouted, pulling out her bazooka and shooting him. "Now then, onii-kun, go set your fucking clock. Heaven help that you be off time."
So Mika promptly ran off into the grass where wild Poke'mon were! Heaven forbid! As soon as she got there, she saw a man being attacked…actually, he was talking to the Poke'mon.
"OH-kay. You don't see that every day." Mika said, swiping the ball containing Mudkip. "Later, Professor Five!"
005/Birch looked up from his conversation to see Mika strolling through the wild grass, whipping all Poke'mon into utter death that dared challenge her.
Once the death machine reached Oldale Town, she found the Poke'Center and got her Poke'mon healed by Kairi from KH. She wheeled out and collected her free bottle of Potion from the weird woman, then set out to kick more butt.
However, as she was about to knock down the trees, she saw none other than…JETDAN!
"I'M ABOUT TO KICK YOUR ASS FOR THE FIRST TIME, MIKA!" Jetdan shouted.
"What do you mean? You look like 002 who had a freaking dyeing incident…" Mika said, then shrugged. "Oh well! MUD-KUN! DO YOUR THING!"
So the Mudkip, deemed Mud-kun by Mika, came out and proceeded to whip Jetdan's Treeko's ass. Jetdan screamed in fury and ran back to Littleroot.
"PHWAR! I told him that I was gonna dominate, but of course, Jetdan will be Jetdan. ON TO PETALBURG CITY AND DUO!" Mika shouted to no one in particular.
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So Mika reached Petalburg City in about fifteen minutes. She…well…it would be best if we didn't tell you…
In any case, Mika was now in the Petalburg City Poke'Center. Of course, just to screw with Mika's mind, Kairi was in this place too!
"WHAT? Weren't you back in Oldale?" Mika demanded. Kairi nodded.
"I have about ten million cousins who also live in Kanto, Johto, the Sevii Islands, and even the Orange Islands!" Kairi said happily. Mika blinked, then headed out to visit her daddy.
"DADDY! I'M HERE!" Mika sang into Duo's gym. Duo was hiding behind a statue in the gym…until…
"Um…excuse me…I NEED A FUCKING POKE'MON!" Wally shouted, bursting in through the wall. Mika jumped backwards into Duo, who then screamed.
"Oh…okay. Mika, go with him so he can catch the rarest thing possible without even trying. You're welcome!" Duo said, handing Wally a ball. Wally promptly bit it, then dragged Mika by one of her braids out into the field by Petalburg.
"GO DAMN YOU, YOU INSOLENT DOG!" Mika screamed at Wally. He had just captured the kick-ass Poke'mon Ralts AND THEY'RE HARDER THAN HELL TO FIND!
So Mika kicked him back into her dad's gym and left for the Petalburg Woods.
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