"Great," Logan muttered.
"Somebody's grumpy this morning, trouble in paradise?" she asked as she sat down on the couch next to Logan and tucked her legs up underneath herself.
"Huh?" he asked tersely.
"The phone call...it sounded like a bit of a lover's spat. Was it my fault? Because girlfriends do tend to get a bit snippy when their boyfriends sleep with other women."
"She's not my girlfriend," he said bitterly.
"Ahh, ex-girlfriend," she said knowingly.
"What are you doing?" he looked at her curiously.
"Waiting for the coffee," she replied simply.
"No, I mean with the prying. No offense, but I thought the point of a one night stand was the whole 'no questions asked' thing," he told her.
"Really? I thought the point of a one night stand was the sex...So, did you love her?" she segued directly back to her line of questioning.
"Don't you think this is a little awkward?" he asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
"Not as awkward as waiting for the coffee in silence," she shrugged.
"Listen, Jenny right?" he asked.
"At your service."
"Well Jenny, I'm sorry but I don't really know you and I'm not feeling particularly comfortable with the conversation, so maybe we can find something else to talk about," he suggested.
"What do you mean? We got to know each other twice last night," she said coyly.
Logan sighed. Why wouldn't this girl leave? They were in the city. She could take two steps out the door in any direction and find a dozen places to buy a goddamn cup of coffee. He looked at her, irritation evident in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," she said, taking note of his facial expression. "I don't mean to pry...well OK, maybe I do, but mostly you just seemed upset."
She sounded genuine and he was taken aback by it. This certainly hadn't been what he'd been expecting out of this last night. He had been upset and drunk and he just wanted to stop thinking about Rory anyway he could. What was that old saying? The best way to get over someone was to get under someone else? But he knew that one night with a stranger wasn't any way to get over Rory. If he hadn't truly gotten over her in the two years they'd been apart he certainly wasn't going to squash all these reanimated feelings in one night. Still if he couldn't get over her at least he could forget about her for a little while, only the woman who was supposed to be making him forget was doing just the opposite. He sighed and responded. "I am, that's why I just want to..."
"Forget," she finished the sentence for him. "I know the feeling."
"Do you?" he asked raising his eyebrows.
"What? You think I've never had my heart broken? You think I hang out at seedy bars and go home with strange but good looking men because I'm not afraid of commitment?" she asked seriously.
"She didn't exactly break my heart, I kind of did it to myself," he replied, finally resigning himself to the conversation.
"You ran," she said more as a statement than a question.
"Yeah," he admitted.
"Maybe it's not to late to turn around and run back," she told him.
"Oh believe me," he said with a mirthless laugh. "It's way to late."
"You sure? Because you don't exactly seem over her."
"Yeah well, she's over me so it doesn't really matter how I feel one way or the other," he replied shortly.
"You really believe that?" she asked him.
"She's getting married to someone else, what the hell am I supposed to believe?" he slumped down in his seat and ran his fingers through his hair, just saying the words hurt like hell.
"Yes well, that does complicate things a bit," the girl nodded her head. "You're sure she loves him?" she asked
"Well that would be the logical conclusion now wouldn't it?" he said with bitterness in his voice.
"Since when does logic play a part in matters of the heart?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.
"You know you talk in your sleep?" she said, seemingly ignoring his question.
"What?" he asked perplexed.
"Her name is Rory, right?"
"How do you..." he started.
"I told you, you talk in your sleep."
"Fine, but that doesn't change the fact that she's moved on."
"Maybe she has, maybe she hasn't," she reasoned. "But the point is, this woman is quite literally the girl of your dreams. You shouldn't give up on something like that until you're absolutely sure she doesn't love you back...Coffee's probably ready," she segued. "You want a cup?" she asked as she got up and walked towards the kitchen.
"Umm, sure," he said as he sunk back into the couch and back into his own thoughts. The things he'd said to Rory on the phone about her still wanting him had just been his cocky facade talking but perhaps it was more, perhaps his words had held some truth after all. Why would she call to yell at him about something she'd brought upon herself? Why would she have hidden her engagement from him? Why would she have kept Fred somewhere she'd see it every day? Why would she have come to lunch? Why would she have agreed to see him again? And Jess...why would he have left? Sure Rory had sounded like they might still work it out but he still left. That meant he must have had some doubts of his own, doubts about the strength of their relationship. Maybe Jenny was right; maybe it was too soon to give up. If there was a chance that Rory still loved him, that she loved him more than Jess, then he couldn't give up. God, this really had been the world's strangest one night stand.
Rory's phone rang and she looked down at the caller ID. She didn't want to talk to anyone but it was her mother and she hadn't spoken to her all week. She knew she couldn't ignore it or Lorelai would know something was wrong. She flipped the phone open and brought it to her ear. "Hello," she answered.
"Is that any way to greet your loving, caring Mommy?" Lorelai jested.
"'Hello' is generally considered and appropriate greeting for anyone of any relation," Rory answered, completely serious.
"Someone's cranky, any reason for the snippy attitude this morning?" the elder Gilmore girl asked.
"Hangover," Rory replied. She didn't want to talk to her mom about this yet. Normally she could confide anything to Lorelai but this conversation felt awkward considering the fact that she was married to Jess's uncle and she had betrayed Jess so it was almost like betrayal by association.
"Oh, really?" Lorelai dragged out the last word. "So it's just the after effect of massive amounts of alcohol and has nothing to do with what's going on between you and Jess?" she asked.
"What do you know about what's going on with me and Jess?" Rory answered Lorelei's question with another question.
"Rory," Lorelai got suddenly serious, knowing for sure now that something really bad had happened. "Jess called Luke this morning...to give him a change of address."
"Oh," Rory said dejectedly. "He didn't waste any time, did he?"
"What's going on kiddo? Is this serious? Tell me," Lorelai prodded.
"I can't, you'll hate me, then Luke will hate me and then...well no, Jess already hates me so I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore," Rory said, clearly hating herself.
"First of all, no one hates you. It's impossible to hate you; you're like Christmas, or a cute little puppy. No one hates Christmas and puppies," Lorelai jokingly reassured her daughter. "Secondly, I'm offended," she huffed.
"Why are you offended?" Rory asked curiously.
"You really think I'm such a blabbermouth that I can't keep a secret from Luke?" she asked, pretending to be insulted.
"Yes," Rory answered half seriously and half mockingly.
"It just so happens missy," Lorelai chided, "that I can keep lots of things from Luke. For example, he has no idea where I keep my hidden stash of junk food so that he can't throw it all out and try to make me eat healthy."
Rory laughed a little. She was slowly becoming glad she'd decided to answer the phone. As weird as it would feel to tell her mother this, speaking to Lorelai always managed to make her feel better. "I know, it's just that if I had told you and you had mentioned it to Luke he would have felt obligated to tell Jess. But Jess found out anyhow so I guess it shouldn't matter anymore but still...ya know?"
"Actually, no I don't know because you haven't told me what's going on yet." Lorelai reminded her daughter.
"Right, that would probably help. Are you ready than? You might want to be sitting so you don't fall over from the shock," Rory warned.
"Did you drop out of Yale again, oh wait you already graduated. Did you join the DAR and move in with your grandparents; no you've already covered that one. Did you sleep with your married ex-boyfriend, wait, already did that too. I don't think you can shock me anymore kid, you ran out of shock factor a while back. Now tell me."
"I had lunch with Logan on Friday," she told her mom.
"Logan? As in Logan 'I get into a fight with my girlfriend and disappear off the face of the earth' Huntzberger?" Lorelai asked. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting her daughter to say but it hadn't been this.
"You know, I do believe that is his full name," Rory answered back.
"OK, so that was random and out of the blue but I wouldn't say it was shocking. I mean, it was just lunch right, nothing happened with..." Lorelai hesitated.
"No! Nothing happened...technically," Rory explained, not so reassuringly.
"Technically? What does that mean?" Lorelai proceeded cautiously.
"Well nothing happened, really. It's just that I might have misled Logan and made him believe that I was single and that something could possibly happen in the future," Rory admitted.
Lorelai was beginning to understand just what had transpired. She knew her daughter well, perhaps even better that Rory knew herself and she had always suspected that she had never truly gotten over Logan Huntzberger. "Might have?' she asked.
"Fine, I purposely hid my ring and avoided any mention of Jess's name or any indication of a significant other, and I told him I'd go to lunch with him again," The younger Gilmore blurted out. "Are you happy?"
"Well actually..." Lorelai joked.
"Hey!" Rory pouted.
"Of course I'm not happy. If you're not happy, I'm not happy. I'm not Emily Gilmore, I don't get joy out of other people's pain...So Jess found out, huh?" she asked.
"Well apparently Logan just had to see me again." Rory said, trying to sound bitter in order to convince herself as well as her mother.
"He didn't?" she asked, figuring out what had happened despite the fact that Rory hadn't actually said it.
"He did..."
"You know, for someone who went two years without so much as a phone call he's awfully eager, isn't he?" Lorelai said.
"Yeah, well he seems to have gotten over it pretty quickly," Rory said bitterly.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, just that when I called him to yell at him this morning there was another girl there," Rory explained.
"You called him?" Lorelai asked suspiciously.
"Yes, to yell at him and to tell him that there couldn't be anything between us because I love Jess and we're getting married," Rory tried to explain herself.
"Hmm, and you don't think he got that message when he came to the apartment and saw Jess?"
"I...umm...well" Rory realized she was backed into a corner. It was true; she had no good reason for calling Logan. There was nothing she could have told him that he couldn't have figured out from his encounter with Jess. Why had she called him?
"Hey, kiddo. What are you doing this weekend?" Lorelai asked, deciding she'd pushed the conversation far enough. She knew what Rory was feeling and why she had lied to Logan. She knew that Rory knew what she was feeling but her daughter was stubborn and she was determined to convince herself that those feelings didn't exist. There was nothing more Lorelai could say until Rory was ready to hear it.
"Wallowing, all alone, in my empty apartment," Rory said sadly.
"Now you can't do that," Lorelai insisted.
"Why not, it's not like I have anything better to do."
"Well duh, because it's your birthday. You can't wallow on your birthday."
Rory realized her mother was right; her birthday was next Monday. She had forgotten all about it considering all the drama the past few days. What a sucky way to start off a new year. "Yeah, happy birthday to me. Maybe I'll go out and celebrate with my fiancé except, wait, I'm not even sure if I have a fiancé anymore."
"Come home." Lorelai suggested.
Rory thought about it for a moment. "I don't know it's a long drive just for the weekend," she said hesitantly.
"Well yes but you can't work on your birthday. Take a long weekend. Come on, you can't just stay at home. I won't allow it. Besides, I haven't seen you in ages."
"Well I suppose it might be good to get away and take my mind off things," Rory was slowly giving in.
"Yes, there's nothing quite as distracting as the crazy folk in Stars Hollow. We can take in a town meeting and you can have some Cheeseburgers from Luke's since I know you must be going through withdrawal. Plus I'm sure Kirk will do something insane and it'll be fun to see what crazy Halloween skit Babette and Morey are setting up. There really never is a dull moment in this town," Lorelai argued convincingly.
"OK, it sounds like a good plan. Besides, it's not like I've got anything better to do," Rory agreed.
"That's the spirit, way to make Mommy feel loved and important," she teased. "So I'll see you this weekend?"
"See you this weekend," Rory agreed. She hung up the phone feeling much better. Sure, nothing had been resolved but there was no better way to forget your woes than with a crazy trip to the Hollow.
Rory stood outside Truncheon Books, trying to find the courage to open the door and walk inside. It was Thursday, four and a half days since Jess had left and she hadn't been able to get a hold of him at all. She had left at least a dozen messages on his phone telling him how sorry she was and how much she loved him but he must not have believed her because he never called her back. She stood there for a few more moments before finally pulling the door open and walking in.
She immediately caught the eye of one of Jess's business partners, Clark and she waved at him timidly. "Rory," he said walking over to her. "What are you doing here?"
"I really need to talk to Jess," she told him. Her voice was soft and she could barely look him in the eye.
"What's the matter? Is something wrong? You're alright aren't you?" he asked her with concern. Clark knew how much his friend cared about her and so he cared about her too. Still, he didn't know if Jess was ready to see her yet and so he was reluctant to go get him if it wasn't an emergency.
"No, everything's fine. Well except the part where he moved out and won't talk to me," she replied. She shifted back and forth on her feet nervously.
"He's just upset Rory," Clark said soothingly. "He just needs some time to calm down and come to terms with the situation."
"There is no situation," Rory declared defensively, looking up at Clark. "Nothing happened and I love him and I want to marry him, that's all there is too it."
"I know you think you do," he said without thinking. It was clearly the wrong thing to say.
"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked angrily. She looked at him defiantly, all the timidness she'd been exhibiting before had melted away.
"It's nothing, it's just..." he didn't know how to redeem himself, he couldn't tell her the truth, that it was clear to everyone that Jess loved her more than she loved him. "I'll go see if I can find him. I can't make any promises though, he may not be ready to talk to you yet," he said instead.
"Good, go!" she ordered angrily. She stood there for a few moments, silently fuming. How dare Clark or anyone else make assumptions about her feelings. After a minute or two had passed she finally saw Jess walk out of the stock room and all her anger disappeared as she was once again filled with fear.
"Jess," she greeted softly, biting on her lip.
"Rory," he replied formally. It was taking all of his strength not to say "to hell" with everything that happened and just to kiss her instead. But he had to stay strong; he couldn't fold like a 3, 8 off suit.
"Can we talk in private?" She asked him.
"No," he said firmly. "I don't think that's a good idea," he added, softening his tone. "I'm not really ready for an 'in private' kind talk." He felt better with the security of the store around him. He felt stronger. If they went to talk in private he was sure he'd lose control of the situation.
It hurt Rory to hear that but she tried to tell herself that any talking had to be better than none. She sighed audibly. "I understand," she told him.
"Clark said you had to tell me something," he mentioned, trying to move the conversation along.
"Yeah, ummm...I just wanted to let you know I was going to Stars Hallow for the weekend. In case you needed to get in touch with me. I'm leaving tomorrow, right after work and I'll be home Monday night," she informed him. She didn't look directly at him but she kept glancing up to try to get a read on his facial expressions.
"Right, that's good to know...in case," he responded. Part of him was happy to hear that she was going to Stars Hollow. She'd always enjoyed a good trip home and he didn't want her sitting around wallowing, especially this weekend. It was also good to know that she'd be far away from Logan. But it wasn't good to know she'd be far away from him.
"Jess," she added. She had been debating whether or not to say this next part. There was a good chance he wouldn't believe her but she wanted to say it anyway. "I love you."
He had heard her voice saying those words on every voice mail she'd left. It hurt every time, knowing that while she may in fact love him, she didn't love him enough- not with all of her heart. Hearing her say it person was even more emotional. He tried to steady his emotions. "Rory..." he said.
She held her breath, hoping he would say it back, hoping he could just forgive her and come back home. "Happy birthday," he said instead. "If I don't talk to you on Monday. Happy birthday."
"Thanks," she said. She could feel the tears forming behind her eyes. She walked away before he could see them fall.