To Shoulder a Burden III
Ennis had been prepared for some readjustment in his and Jack's relationship. After all, they hadn't seen each other in four years, both had thought the other no longer wanted contact, and each had changed because of the time apart.
What Ennis hadn't counted on was the whining.
Jack had spent so much time alone, so much time in his head missing Ennis, that he had lost a lot of the spunk that made him Jack in the old days.
He had also not been taking his medication. Bobby had gotten into it with him more than once over this but Jack was obstinate and didn't want to listen to him. This was the first time that Ennis had seen Bobby mad. Wouldn't be the last.
Bobby had tried to take Ennis and Jack to get Ennis some new clothes – the one pair of jeans and one shirt he had were clearly not enough. Jack went along but quickly started demanding they go home. Bobby had to have one of the sales ladies pick out some things on her own for Ennis so he could come back later to get them.
They had tried going out to eat. Jack wouldn't let them finish a meal.
If they met people Jack or Bobby knew, his conversations were quick and bordering on the rude.
All Jack wanted was to have Ennis hold him and stay near him and retreat from the world…to live in this idyllic little environment of the house with Ennis. Nothing would intrude on that, nothing to disturb it…and wholly unrealistic.
Ennis had put up with this for about two weeks. By then he was ready to chew nails. Ennis was not a sit-at-home type and had to be doing something. Two weeks was an unacceptable amount of time for him not to be out working.
He had done a few things around the house that needed repairing but it wasn't enough. He had tried to get Jack engaged in doing things but he would say, "No, I'm gonna go take a nap. Will ya come lay down with me?"
Then one day, Jack made a series of seriously wrong and majorly flawed decisions.
He and Ennis had been taking a nap in the bedroom. Both had woke up and were just lying there enjoying the presence of the other. Ennis had been wanting to broach the subject of going to work with Jack, but felt he needed to be gentle because of Jack's condition.
"Jack."
"Yeah, Ennis." Jack said, his eyes closed.
"I been thinking that I ain't used to all this free time like this. I'm thinking I need to get me a job. Go find a ranch around here and do some work. Makes me antsy not to do something. Besides, I don't like living off Bobby like this. It ain't right."
Jack rolled over to face Ennis. "Ennis, I don't want ya to leave," Jack said softly.
"Jack, it's just a job. I'll be coming home each day." Ennis responded.
"I'd rather ya stay here. It aint' been but a couple a weeks ya been back…"
"C'mon, Jack. Why don't ya come with me. Do ya good to get out in the sun and work up a sweat. Whattya say?"
Jack rolled over. "No. I don't wanna go out."
Ennis got up. He had been trying to take it easy with Jack since he got here. Ennis didn't really understand the medical conditions or terminology that was used for what Jack was going through. All he knew was that work, hard work, was a good thing, and it cured most problems.
"Jack, it ain't right ya stayin' in here all the time like this. It ain't good for ya."
Jack got up and walked over to Ennis. His first mistake was to get between the door and Ennis.
"Ennis, come on. We ain't got to work right now. We got us a place to stay, it's just you and me here. Let's take advantage of that and…"
"Jack," Ennis cut him off, "I can't live like this. Ya know that. Ya know that I gotta work. Stuck in here like this is making me crazy. And I ain't doing my part of paying for things around here. Just ain't right."
Jack stepped back, "So, ya don't want to be here with me?"
"Jack, that's not what I said. I just can't stay in this house all the time like ya want to."
"Ennis, ya promised not to leave me and already that's what ya want to do. Ya promised me."
"Jack, come on. That's not what I said. All I said, was I needed to get a job. Ya making this too much of a big deal."
"Fuck you, Ennis," and he poked Ennis in the chest…Jack's second big mistake. Ennis' eyes narrowed, his mouth turning to a thin slit.
"I waited all those years never thinking I'd see ya again and now ya wanna take off. Well, go ahead. It ain't like ya never left me alone before."
"Jack, ya need to be careful now. That's in the past. I came when I knew ya still wanted me around. I'm here now."
Jack hadn't heard him and here came his third and final mistake.
"Ya don't know what it was like to hurt all those years not knowing if ya was alive or dead, loved me or not. All I could think about was you…all the time, you…" Jack heard a grunt come from the direction of Ennis and looked up.
The blood went from his face because all he saw was the fire in Ennis' eyes, the veins on the side of his neck sticking out, his hands clenched, virtually no trace of his mouth and lips.
"Ennis…?"
Jack quickly reviewed what he had said and quickly realized his very bad mistake.
"Ennis, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I didn't mean that ya…"
"Jack…" Amazing how Ennis could say that and not move his lips.
"Ennis, I'm sorry…"
"Jack, ya…" was all he could say. Ennis took a step toward Jack. Jack backed up. Jack thought that if ever Ennis was going to kill him, now was the time.
Ennis was so angry, he couldn't speak anymore. He started to kinda step side to side no longer looking at Jack. Jack couldn't figure out what he was doing. Ennis looked like a trapped animal.
Suddenly, Ennis stepped right up to Jack, nose to nose, Ennis looking him straight in the eye. "Ya got no right to say that to me," was all Ennis could say. Jack had begun to realize the enormity of his mistake.
Jack realized he was standing between Ennis and the door. He quickly moved aside.
Ennis walked slowly out of the room, grabbed his hat and left slamming the door on the way out. He didn't come back until the next morning…he had been drinking most of the night…and then crashed on the couch. Jack didn't dare do more than put a blanket over him.
Jack felt he had some reflecting to do.