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PART FIFTEEN

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Tel'tac

She felt distant from her body; as though she was a spectator and not completely in control of her movements. She wasn't in control, she realised dimly.

I can let you have control, a voice whispered, cool and silken against her thoughts, but I am not certain you would be able to fly the Tel'tac yet.

Bek imagined that if she was in control, she would have shuddered. As it was, she felt trapped. Claustrophobic. Suddenly realising just how helpless she could be.

"Colonel O'Neill," she heard herself say, but her voice was rough and hoarse, "I need you to pilot for a time."

"Everything okay?" Jack asked.

Again, she felt her lips move but knew she hadn't thought or formed the words herself. "We just need some time."

She saw suspicion and bitter knowledge glint in Jack's eyes, and she knew why he had tried to stop her.

No, the voice – Garshaw, she remembered – said, no, it is different with us.

Her limbs folded carefully under her, and she was seated on the cold floor of the Tel'tac, the walls solid behind her and the floor thrumming comfortingly underneath. With a rush, she could feel again, and her arms and legs were her own.

"Jack?" she whispered, her voice a croak.

"You ok, Bek?" he called back to her from the front of the ship, and she was surprised to hear a touch of concern on his voice.

"I… yeah. I think so," she replied, closing her eyes and focusing on her breathing. In and out, in and out. The air tasted cool and dry. Artificially recycled. Slightly stale. She shivered, and wrapped her arms around her knees, trying hard to focus on everything and anything except the thing in her head. The presence in her mind. The sensation that there was something else in her head.

Was this what a schizophrenic felt like? Two people in one brain?

You are not crazy, or insane, Rebekah.

"Bek," she snapped, "my name is Bek."

Something like a wave of bemusement rolled through her, and Bek felt a frission of real annoyance. Even the goddamn snake thing was patronising her as though she was only a child.

But you are only a child, it pointed out.

"Which mean's you're a relic," she returned sharply.

At the front of the ship, she heard a bark of dry laughter from Jack, and across from her the Russian scientist, Svetlana, was watching her curiously. Almost warily.

No one had ever looked at her like that before, Bek realised, as though she was something to be scared of. Something to fear.

They don't fear you, Garshaw said, they fear what you have become. What I am.

And what have I become? Bek wondered.

More than what you were.

Bek bit her lip, glanced at Svetlana again who avoided her questioning gaze, and then climbed unsteadily to her feet. She felt strange; uncoordinated. As though she was tipsy but she hadn't drunk anything.

Jack – or O'Neill, as Garshaw thought of him – glanced at her once when she came to stand next to him, but his attention was focused on the controls in front of him.

Chart, radar, rings, communiocation, hyperdr-

She snapped her eyes shut and tried to ignore the fact that she knew what the controls did and operated, without being told.

"Arguing?" Jack asked mildly, and there was underlying tone of humour to his question.

"No," Bek said, opening her eyes and staring ahead and staring ahead. It was beautiful, she thought, flying through space. More colourful than she had imagined it would be, and a lot emptier. More quiet than she would have thought. She remembered once shortly after she'd met Cassie, the two of them had gone to stay at a cabin in Minnesota. They'd sat on the jetty late that night, talking, and when they'd fallen quiet the world had been silent. Up to now, she hadn't heard anything more silent.

"You were a host, weren't you?" she asked.

He stiffened next to her, but didn't answer.

"Garshaw says it was different for you," Bek pressed, despite the caution coming from Garshaw. It felt good to ignore the Tok'ra; to defy her.

He shrugged, and stared ahead but she had the feeling he wasn't really watching what he was doing anymore.

"It feels strange," she said at last.

"You regretting it?"

"I…I don't know," she admitted. "She's arrogant and patronising and condescending but at the same time…"

"At the same time, what?"

Bek felt her lip quirk, and she was sure why she found it so amusing but she did. "She reminds me of my grandmother."

His eyebrows lifted and he looked at her incredulously. "Your grandmother?"

"Yes. She calls me Rebekah."

"You don't have to stay like this, Bek," he said quietly. "You had no idea what you were getting into."

"I know," she said. "I still don't know what I'm getting into," she added.

"No one ever knows what they're getting into," he said.

"My mom died when my youngest sister was born. My dad's mother, my grandmother, helped him to raise us. She died last year – she had cancer."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

While Bek had no doubt he meant the sympathy, it was distant and hollow, as though he had forgotten the grief and pain that came with loss.

Or perhaps he has learnt to distance himself from it, Garshaw suggested.

"Major Carter – Sam – that was her Dad on the planet, wasn't it? Jacob?"

"Yes."

And Bek knew that he had been dying, and the Tok'ra Selmac was his last choice.

Jacob is happy with Selmak, Garshaw whispered. It takes time, Rebekah, but it is possible to be content as a Tok'ra.

"They aren't all bad," she said quietly. She wasn't sure she knew what she meant by the words, but she felt Garshaw's satisfaction and saw Jack give a barely perceptible nod of his head. "Garshaw wants to know where Jacob is?"

"I wouldn't let him come – the poison obviously isn't a joke and I won't let him risk it."

Yet, Jack was willing to let Garshaw risk her life.

No, the Tok'ra disagreed gently. I would not let him take the Tel'tac unless I accompanied him.

Bek watched Jack for a few seconds, wincing internally at his constant grimace of pain and tension. He is tired and worn, but he will not stop, Garshaw murmured. A fleeting touch of admiration and respect, and the Tok'ra retreated.

"Take a seat, Jack. We'll drive."

He looked as though he would protest, but he surprised her and nodded, stepping back to let her take over.

Thank you, Garshaw, Bek said, her fingers touching the controls lightly.

No, it is I who should thank you, Rebekah.

You're risking your life for us.

Without you, I would not be alive now. Your mission is mine for the time being.

Bek found herself smiling, and for the first time in days she felt it was okay, that maybe there was a way to fix everything.

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Nuclear Facility

The first wave of Jaffa was half-hearted. Obviously expecting the Tau'ri to be disheartened and ready to admit defeat, the ground forces moved almost sluggishly and with no thought to stealth or the possibility of ambush.

It took Paul's squad five minutes to dispose of them with several well placed claymores, Tom acting as sniper and Andrews manning the heavy artillery. In the aftermath of the vicious bloodbath, the dark world was strangely silent. Even the bugs seemed to be scared away by the gunfire, though Paul new this was just fanciful hoping on his part and had more to do with dumb luck than anything they actually did.

A canteen was passed around, and Paul praised their work quietly on the small radios, still alert for any movement in the woods around them.

"I'm going to see if I can rig a shield over us," Carter whispered in the dark, barely visible next to him as heavy clouds blotted out the pale moonlight. Paul hoped to God it would rain soon because he had a suspicion the bugs would be hampered in heavy rainfall.

"Ok," Paul agreed, and then instructed Tom and Samuels to lay another round of claymores. He almost wished Bek and Cass were still around, because at they could have helped by hauling supplies and artillery around. As it stood, it was up to him and Andrews to retrieve more from their supplies.

They worked quickly and quietly in the dark, almost soundless shadows as the air grew thicker and heavier and the rough material of his BDUs chafed more than he'd thought possible. Within fifteen minutes they were ready for a second wave, but there was no sign of Jaffa – either air or ground troops.

"I don't like this," he whispered to Samuels who was crouching next to him, breathing heavily through his nose in what was probably a combination of fear, adrenalin and exhaustion. "It's too quiet."

The only advantage to their entire situation, Paul thought, was the facility they were defending - a clear area of approximately fifty metres extended all around the buildings, fringed by the light woodlands. It was easy to defend because they had clear targets as their enemy approached. Paul stared searchingly into the inky night ahead of them, straining to catch a glimpse of movement. Other than Carter shuffling around with small pieces of equipment, nothing moved except the air.

Paul blinked. The air was moving?

Next to him Samuels gasped and moved as Paul's fingers tightened on his weapon. Carter stopped moving too, frozen and exposed in an open patch of grass between the trees.

"Get undercover, Carter," Paul ordered quietly, even though there was no way she could hear him. Still, the woman knew what she was doing and slowly seemed to melt back into the darker shadows.

Again, the air rippled, and as a sudden rumble of thunder rolled ominously across the sky, it seemed to tear and twist and suddenly in front of them, on their nice, clean shooting range, a Goa'uld Tel'tac appeared.

Paul closed his eyes and bit on his lip, struggling to keep a small flicker of hope and defiance burning inside him. But it was so hard when everything went so horribly wrong.

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Tel'tac

Saturn was bigger and brighter than she had anticipated. And the rings… Bek stared at them with awe, but the Tel'tac hurtled past and soon she saw a small speck which Garshaw informed her was Earth. She watched as her planet grew bigger and brighter, and slowly turned blue and green and white. Soon she could discern oceans and continents, and as they passed through the atmosphere she was horrified by the darkness of the North American Continent – hardly any lights fought against the night sky.

The cities would be under attack by the Goa'uld, Garshaw said. There are fires burning, the Tok'ra added, but it was unnecessary because already Bek could distinguish between the few lights still shining defiantly and the red glow of fires burning without opposition.

It was almost too soon, and suddenly they were flying through thick clouds and watching as dark mountains appeared beneath them, quickly rolling into darkened fields and forests Bek couldn't see.

"There," Jack whispered from next to her, and Bek didn't even think as her hands guided the alien vessel down carefully onto the ground in front of the facility she'd left only hours – or was it days? – before.

"I don't see anyone," Bek whispered even though there was on need.

"They're there," Jack said, sounding distracted. "I think I saw Carter. Uncloak the ship, Bek."

She hadn't realised the ship was cloaked, but Garshaw nudged her gently and her fingers performed the requested task easily.

Bek walked behind Jack and Svetlana as they exited the Tel'tac and then paused a few steps from the ship. There was a rustle of movement from the buildings ahead of them, and the silence was broken by a hesitant "Colonel?" from the trees off to one side.

"Carter?" Jack responded cautiously.

"Oh, thank God something went fucking right for a change," someone else – Bek thought it was Paul Davis – exclaimed loudly from the buildings shadows. "I cannot tell you how relieved I am it's you, Colonel."

"Good to see you all too," Jack agreed as several dark forms appeared from various positions around the Tel'tac. It took Bek several seconds to realise they were dark because black paint covered their faces, and other than the whites of their eyes they appeared almost invisible in the dark.

A roll of thunder growled across the sky, and Bek looked up briefly.

"How did it go?" Samuels asked. "I'm assuming you found someone."

"The Asgard won't help," Jack said bluntly, "but Thor took us to the Tok'ra. They've been underground, with the Jaffa rebels. They've given us something to help fight the Jaffa, but the bugs are still going to be a problem unless we work out how the Goa'uld planned on stopping them.

"The memory crystals would contain all the information," Bek felt herself saying. "They would be kept either in the main fleet vessel, or if they are in the SGC as you suspect it is possible they are kept there."

A moment of silence followed Bek's short speech, and she fidgeted uncomfortably as everyone stared at her.

"We ran into some trouble on Elcor – the planet where the Jaffa and Tok'ra are."

"The Jaffa and Tok'ra are working together?" Davis asked doubtfully.

"Some of them," Jack agreed. "Maybourne's there – he was hurt pretty bad but Teal'c's looking after him."

"You saw Teal'c?" Sam demanded sharply.

"Yes. He's good, Carter, but he couldn't come back with us."

"Why not?" Samuels demanded. "Where is Walter Davis, and who is the woman?"

"Teal'c would be in danger here, more than he would be able to help, and Walter died in Russia so the rest of us could get out," Jack said shortly.

"Whatever happened can wait," Davis said sharply, "we need all the help we can get against the Jaffa now, Colonel. We've already held one wave back, but they'll be smarter on the second try."

For the first time Bek noticed the bodies heaped under the shadows, and she felt sick again. She would have staggered, if not for Garshaw.

"There's a Goa'uld with you," Sam said sharply.

"No," Jack disagreed. "A Tok'ra. Garshaw. Her host was dying, and Bek volunteered to… to… Carter, you remember Garshaw, don't you?"

"Yes," Sam said faintly, and Bek felt a surge of recognition and almost affection run through the Tok'ra as she acknowledged Sam.

"What's the help you got, O'Neill?" Samuels asked.

"A poison that will kill the Goa'uld symbiote but won't harm humans or hosts – that's why we left Teal'c. If something went wrong, he'd be in trouble."

A flicker of fear shivered through Bek – or was it Garshaw? – but it disappeared quickly.

"We have three vials," Jack was saying. "Atmospheric detonation is going to be the most effective way to use it against the Jaffa, but we need to get them out into the open."

"I think they're only letting a few get infected at a time, to maintain some force until they're all immune," Davis said.

"Well," Jack said, "we're just going to have to find a way to get them all out into the open, aren't we?"

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