Harry:
Dear notebook thingy I write my intimate thoughts in,
Today started off normal. Mione and I tried to stop Lil'Harry from killing the neighbor's dog, but failed. We had to come up with an excuse for our physcopathic 5 year old, when Lil'Harry attempted to kill Crookshanks. He is so crazy! He put Crookshanks in a pillowcase and pinned him to the laundry line! The freak was going to pumble Crookshanks with a baseball bat as he was suspending defensly by the laundry line. Mione was totally freaked and sent Lil'Harry to his "alone place" which is a closet in the basement that Mione locks after he crawls in. No wonder the kid kills small animals! He spends half his time locked in a small closet with no human contact! I really hope he doesn't figure out to use his powers anytime soon. Today: hitting animals with bats, Tomorrow: the death curse. But the weirdest thing of all is that he looks exactly like me! Its really scary! After Mione shoved mini-me into the closet, she mysteriously left so I went to see Dumbledore. I just couldn't resist! I know, hes like 80 million years old, but his beard is just so darn sexy. Unfortunaly I think he has a thing for the sorting hat. Only because I saw them making out once. It was akward. Anyways, I'm going to see him. Bye
Harry
Hermione:
Dear Unicorn-shaped Diary,
Man what a rough day! My son I had with Voldemort is such a freak! I'm just going to stop thinking about it. I went over to Voldie's (thats my pet name for Voldemort) House, but he wasn't there. I sent some of the deatheaters to find him. I finally won full custody of Lil'Harry and half custody of the death eaters. I also went over to Ron's place, but he wasn't there either. There was a note on the door that said he was on vacation for a few days, but thats not like Ron to go on vacation without any notice. And everything was spelled right in the note. Well, whatever. When I got home, I got a call from one of my friends who works at the magical diner. She said Snape was there. At first I wasn't amused, but trust me, the story gets good! He was looking at one of the hamburgers when it 'attacked' him. He was covered in kechup! I wish I had seen it! I was laughing so hard it almost drowned out the sound of Lil'Harry's screams. Almost.
Mione