Chapter 34
Gold
Typhlosion-Pyro LV: 32
Donphan-Trunks LV: 26
Snorlax-Lummox LV: 30
Ampharos-Sparks LV: 30
Sunflora-Sprout LV: 25
Hiro
Feraligatr-Highfang LV: 32
Skarmory-Armor LV: 30
Muk-Stench LV: 38
Victreebel-Victor LV: 30
Magmar-Inferno LV: 30
Rhydon (Insert nickname) LV: 42
Crystal
Meganium (Blue) LV: 30
Chansey LV: 9
Sudowoodo LV: 20
Smoochum LV: 5
Dratini LV: 15
Copper
Spears-Spearow LV: 9
Wooper-Whoopi LV: 5
Growlithe-Flares LV: 10
Machop-Champion LV: 15
Heracross-Big Pickle LV: 16
Red Gyarados LV: 50
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Gold started to regret leaving all of his friends out at sea. It was taking him a lot longer to get to Ecruteak without a map. It's been at least two weeks since he left Olivine and he got more lost every single day.
"GOD DAMN IT!" he yelled to the sky. "WHY DO I SUCK AT DIRECTIONS?" Gold kicked at a random tree root. He heard a yelp come from the tree. "Inanimate objects are talking to me again... Back away slowly..."
"Who's there? What do you- GAAAAA- OW!" The talking tree turned out to be Morty from Ecruteak. And he fell out when Gold kicked the tree again. He gasped when he saw Gold. "GOLD! I've never been so happy to see you in my life!"
"I wish I could say the same Morty..." Gold grumbled. Morty ignored him and checked to see if they were being watched.
"Okay, there are some things I need to tell you. For one, you and I are both not allowed in Ecruteak anymore so I would be honored to help you across the city and-."
"How come you're not allowed in the city?"
"Someone told the mayor that I slept with his daughter," Morty said rummaging through his backpack.
"Way to go, dude."
"Gold you don't understand. I never slept with his daughter and... not that it matters but, um... I'm a virgin..."
"How old did you say you were?"
"33."
Gold started laughing his head off. Morty found what he was looking for and pulled it over Gold's head. It was an oversized afro wig that could fit not only Gold but at least a second person too.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? SOMEONE HELP! I'M BEING EATEN BY AN URSARING!"
"Keep it down will ya'? And relax; it's just a wig." Morty put a pole in the middle of the wig to make it stand up straight and lifted it to his head. "Gold, this is how we're gonna get across Ecruteak." Morty opened the gates to Ecruteak.
"By hiding me in a wig and hoping no one will notice that their respected gym leader just grew 40 pounds worth of hair?"
"Do you have a better idea?"
"Yeah, I do actually. Couldn't you just have teleported us away with Gengar?" Even though Gold couldn't see Morty from the inside the wig, he heard him sniffle a little.
"I don't have Gengar anymore..."
"WHAT?"
"Or any other pokemon. Here's what happened..."
FLASHBACK...
Morty was sitting at his computer watching internet porn when a woman with blond hair came in followed by the mayor of Ecruteak.
"Whoah!" Morty cried shutting down the computer. "Uh... what... could I... uh... do for you?" The mayor ran up to Morty and kicked him in the nuts. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"
"Ms. Necro told me all about your affair with my daughter and now we're here to rip up your trainer's license."
"This has to be some sort of mistake! And who're you gonna believe me or this bitch?"
"The bitch you're referring to," said Ms. Necro. "is the new president of the pokemon association so what I say is law. And if I see a reason why you're not fit to run a gym... YOU HAVE NO SAY IN THE MATTER!"
"WELL I SAY YOU'RE A BITCH!" She punched him in the stomach, knocking his pokeballs and license out of his pockets. She pocketed the pokeballs and ripped up the license.
"Move yourself out of the city by nightfall. Pleasure working with you..."
END FLASHBACK...
"SON OF A BITCH!" Gold yelled.
"That isn't even the half of it."
"Oh, I wasn't talking about that. There are dead Caterpies in here! GAA! THIS ONE'S STILL ALIVE!"
"Stop it Gold! You're making a scene!"
Some people stopped to see Morty's squirming afro. Morty punched the side of it to make Gold stop moving. When they were far away from the crowd again, Gold threw the caterpie out of the side.
"So as I was saying, I'm not the first gym leader to get shut down by Ms. Necro. She humiliated Whitney into giving up her gym by beating her in front of the entire city. And she bribed Bugsy into an early retirement. Falkner was able to keep her at bay and then she went to me."
"This is all very interesting but why are you telling me this?"
"Because I have a favor to ask you. Could you go to Mahogany and make sure Pryce is alright?"
"Sure, but knowing my kind of luck, Pryce will be dead by the time I get there..." Morty had reached the outer limits of the city and released Gold from the wig.
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Lummox fell asleep for its month long nap, so Gold couldn't surf his way to Mahogany. He had to climb Mt. Mortar instead. With his sense of direction, Gold lost his way for about three months after nearly starving to death. When he came back out, it was the middle of winter.
As for Crystal, Copper and Silver, the whirlpool they got caught in spat them back out halfway across the world near a place called Shinou (hint, hint). They lived off of Remoraid in the ocean. During the past three months, they rode on Gyarados night and day until they finally reached the edge of Goldenrod City by the sea route.
And for once Gold was right about something. Pryce really did die when he was away. Gold trudged through the snow and looked inside the gym. A blonde haired woman was giving leftover Glacier badges to any trainer that wanted them. Gold picked one out of the box. Gold glanced at the woman's face and jumped back in horror. Her name tag said Ms. Necro but Gold knew her as...
"KAREN?" She grabbed him by his collar and tossed him threw the window of the gym. Karen had turned the gym into a base for both P.O.O.T and Team Rocket. Karen had walked inside and confronted him.
"Do you like it little brother? Because it will be the last thing you'll ever see."
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
"I'm glad you asked. After Daddy's fiasco at Ecruteak I took over the family business. Since I already lead the Elite Four, it was easy to take over as the President after the old one died."
"Holy shit! If Hiro didn't bump into that old man back in Chapter 1 this wouldn't be happening!" Gold thought to himself. If you don't remember, the very first thing that happened in this story was Hiro bumping into the old President of the Pokemon Association. He died shortly after that.
"I also made a deal with Team Rocket. I use my power to get rid of the gym leaders so Team Rocket could get to Goldenrod and they give me weapons and money. Speaking of which... PREPARE TO FIRE!" Everyone in the room pulled out a gun and pointed them at Gold. Gold whipped out a pokeball and tossed it to the ground. Pyro emerged from it.
"BLAST BURN!"
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And that's how Hiro's accident nearly spelled the end for Gold. Oh and I probably won't update tomorrow or the day after. And what happened to Bigfoot?