Chapter 35
Gold
Typhlosion-Pyro LV: 35
Donphan-Trunks LV: 30
Snorlax-Lummox LV: 32
Ampharos-Sparks LV: 32
Sunflora-Sprout LV: 29
Kingdra LV: 40
Hiro
Feraligatr-Highfang LV: 32
Skarmory-Armor LV: 30
Muk-Stench LV: 38
Victreebel-Victor LV: 30
Magmar-Inferno LV: 30
Rhydon (Insert nickname) LV: 42
Crystal
Meganium (Blue) LV: 40
Blissey LV: 35
Sudowoodo LV: 40
Jynx LV: 30
Dragonair LV: 32
Copper
Fears-Fearow LV: 32
Quagsire-Whoopi LV: 31
Arcanine-Flares LV: 30
Machamp-Champion LV: 37
Heracross-Big Pickle LV: 35
Red Gyarados LV: 50
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Gold and Silver were standing on the streets of New Bark Town trying to pick up chicks. Or at least Gold was anyway. Silver just enjoyed watching Gold fail at it. Every girl Gold tried to talk to kicked him in the nuts or used pepper spray on him.
"What's up girl? How're you doing? How about you fork over your digits and- DAAAAAAH MY EYES! THEY BURN!" She had used pepper spray on him. Gold fell to the ground half blind. Silver broke out into hysteric laughter. Another girl came up and kicked Silver in the nuts.
"That will teach you to laugh at the weak and the innocent!" She bent over to talk to Gold. "Are you alright?" Gold rubbed his eyes and felt around for her. He was temporarily blind.
"Wh-who's there?"
"I'm a doctor. Call me if you still have problems seeing. My number is 555-6969." She walked away and Gold got his eyesight back just in time.
"Yeah, I totally scored with that chick."
"How do you even know it was a chick? You were blind!" Silver said back in protest.
"I know by the sound of her voice."
"How do you know that it wasn't a guy with a girly voice?"
"How do I know that maybe you're a woman with a man voice?"
"Touché."
"And besides, she has two sixty nines in her phone number."
"So?"
"Don't you know anything? Sixty nine is a sex position."
"What does that have to do with you?"
"Absolutely nothing. And that's what makes it special. But that gives me an idea. Chicks dig guys in pain. Quick, someone's coming! Hit me in the nuts as hard as you can."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"Just do it!" Silver kicked as hard as he could. Gold had fallen down in pain again. The next girl kicked Silver in the nuts and then gave Gold her phone number. And the next three did exactly the same.
"Damn there are a lot of doctors in this town... Gold, at this rate we're both not gonna be able to make children. Couldn't you think of a less painful way to do this?"
"Not really. Let's go home."
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Crystal was sleeping face down on the couch. Platinum snuck up on her and took a pokeball from her pocket. When his mother came by he hid under the couch and came out on the other side. He crept outside without her noticing.
"Alright. Come out!" He pressed the button on it but the ball was empty. "Ah man. Only I would be dumb enough to get an empty pokeball..." He kicked at a bush. An angry Pichu came out and attacked him. He pegged it in the forehead with the pokeball and captured it. "I ROCK!" Now and forever, when the story is about Platinum, it shall be called Platinum Volts. So does decree, the Creator, RTJ.
Gold and Silver had just come back from their day of well... doing nothing productive. Platinum threw the pokeball containing Pichu at Gold. Which happened to hit him in the nuts.
"Big brother, I caught a Pichu! What should I call it?"
"GYAAAAH! MY FRIGGIN' TWIG AND BERRIES!"
"That's a good name for it! Thanks Gold! I got to show Mom!"
"What the fuck just happened?" Gold said rubbing his privates.
"Your brother caught a Pichu and you became a victim of circumstance," Silver said matter-of-factly. They could hear Platinum screaming from inside.
"Ouch! Stop it Mom! What did I do?" They couldn't hear what Gold's Mom said. "That's not my fault. Gold's the one who named it... Can I have some Ice Cream? Thanks Mommy!" Gold's Mom came outside with her infamous frying pan.
"Uh oh..."
"Gold Bartholomew Ryu! When did you think it was a good idea to tell your brother that he could name his pokemon after a sexual innuendo?"
"Indyflendo? Innudenda? How do you say that word you just said?"
"INNUENDO! THAT DOES IT! I WANT YOU AND YOUR PINHEADED FRIENDS OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
"Uh, Mom don't you think that's a little harsh? I didn't mean to tell Platinum to call his Pichu that..."
"Oh yes. Platinum too. Take him with you."
"WHAT?"
"I'm sorry sweetie. But I'm sick and tired of you and your friends stupiding up my house and making bad role models for your little brother. And you wouldn't believe how many times I had to clean up after you guys today..."
"But doesn't kicking us out defeat the purpose? I mean we'll still be stupid, lazy, dirty, and bad influences."
"But as long as you're not stupid, lazy, dirty and bad influences in my house, I don't care."
"But-."
"BUT NOTHING!" She went inside the house and picked up Copper, Crystal and Platinum by their collars and tossed them out.
"What the hell?" Crystal said dazedly.
"Come on guys..." Night rolled in quickly. The rest of the trainers of New Bark Town left their homes and sat together in the middle of town. Some of them even started to openly weep.
"Dude. This is the worst party ever..." Copper said.
"This isn't a party you moron!" said one of the trainers. "Karen's deadline is midnight tonight. These may be our last hours of freedom..."
"HOLY SHIT!" Gold screamed. He started running in circles screaming his head off. Crystal smacked him and took him away from the others. She sat him down by the town sign.
"Golden Boy you have to calm down." She sat down beside him.
"How can I be calm at a time like this? Every trainer in the country is gonna become Karen's slaves and it's all my fault! Why didn't I remember to train? Why couldn't- OW!" Crystal smacked him again.
"Gold. Before this all starts, I want you to know something."
"What is it?"
"Even though since day one I've nagged you, punched you, kicked you in the nuts, called you names, played you for a fool, beaten you to a pulp-."
"Get to the point..."
"I just want you to know that even though I did all those things to you... I've always sort of... liked you. Maybe even... love you..." She turned away from him and covered her face. Gold looked over her shoulder to see that she was crying.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm just scared that's all..." Gold put his arm around her.
"I'm scared for the both of us..." Gold said. He leaned down to kiss her but...
"GOLD AND CRYSTAL SITTING IN A TREE! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Platinum was standing on the town sign making fun of them. Gold leaped up and grabbed his throat.
"You little son of a bi-." Gold was stopped by the sound of helicopters landing. P.O.O.T agents came out of them and rounding up trainers into their helicopters. One of them grabbed Gold and Platinum by their collars and tossed them into the metal vehicle. Gold looked out the window to see Crystal, Silver and Copper get separated into different helicopters.
"This is it. The beginning of the end..."