If Not For Fear VI

The next morning, Ennis was trying to climb up from the deep sleep he had needed for days now. He wasn't really aware of where he was so when he opened his eyes and Jack's face was mere inches from his, he was, needless to say, startled.

"Jesus, Jack, what the hell ya doin'?" as Ennis reflexively jumped back to put space between him and Jack.

"Nothin'. Just layin' here lookin' at you." Ennis sat up feeling a little embarrassed that he had been watched while he was sleeping. "Well, don't be doin' that. It's creepy."

Jack only smiled knowing that Ennis took any chance he could get to watch Jack when he was sleeping. How many times Jack had woke up to see Ennis awake and nose to nose with him. Jack didn't think he'd be stopping this anytime soon.

"How long you been awake?" Ennis said rubbing his eyes and face.

"'Bout an hour or so."

"Why didn't you wake me? You gotta get some food in ya. Ya ain't been eating enough."

"Well, Ennis, I was gettin' my fill of you while you was sleepin'. Does that count?"

"Get outta that damn bed, son, and help me cook something."

"Yep, just got one more thing to do, though."

"Yeah, and what's that?" Jack reached up and pulled Ennis down by his arm. Rolling on top of him, he looked deep into Ennis' eyes for a moment.

"Jack, whattya…" But Jack cut him off by kissing him long and slow. Ennis who had been making the greatest of efforts to restrain himself this whole time Jack was sick couldn't maintain any longer and wrapped his arms around Jack real tight and made sure he did everything he could to uphold his side of this kissing episode.

When they both finally came up for air, Jack looked at Ennis and quietly, softly said, "I have missed you somethin' awful Ennis del Mar. Somethin' awful."

"No more, Jack. You ain't never gonna be away from me long enough to ever miss me again, ya hear? I promise that, rodeo. Never again, okay?"

Jack just nodded. And because he was feeling a lot better, though not 100, he reached down quickly before Ennis could respond and grabbed Ennis' very prominent erection.

With a hissing of air between his teeth, an arching of his back, and a muttered "Jeezzus," Ennis grabbed for the headboard and stiffened more than where Jack had his hand.

In something between a groan and plea, Ennis said, "Ja..Jack…"

"Hey, cowboy, look what I found…" Jack quietly announced.

Ennis' head snapped down to look at Jack and through gritted teeth and slit lips, "You fuckin' better not be foolin' here, Jack Fuckin' Twist!"

Jack laughed for a second and then smiled and said gently, "It's okay, cowboy…if we take it easy, alright?" A tear came to Ennis' eye and he grabbed Jack's face to kiss him again.

With Ennis playing nursemaid, Jack got better in just a short time. He still had periods of darkness and depression that would descend without notice. Ennis would then find him off at the border of the property just walking, sitting on the back porch crying or, sometimes passed out from drinking all day, though with Ennis there for Jack now, the need to keep drinking was easing up.

Occasionally the old, volatile feelings Jack had for Ennis would surface and they'd fight. Ennis was not immune to shouting and pointing out Jack's faults but he was determined that Jack was going to stay. So he'd work to calm himself and Jack down, ease the anger and resentment so they could talk more.

On Jack's part, he continued to make effort to grasp and understand that Ennis loved him…something he had known with certainty for a long time couldn't be true.

One evening, the sun just setting, about two weeks after Jack had so dramatically shown up at Ennis', there was a knock at the door. Jack looked at Ennis a little startled, a little curious. Jack had noticed that no one had come by Ennis' house since he had arrived.

As always, over-cautious Ennis had his rifle handy just in case. He wasn't concerned anymore that Jack knew it was there.

He opened the door to find Sheriff Parker standing there, beer in hand. It had been some time since the Sheriff had dropped by and both men were actually pleased to see the other.

"Sheriff Parker."

"Hey, Ennis. In the neighborhood, thought I'd drop by, see if ya wanted a beer. And I keep telling ya that J.D. will do just fine. Don't need all that Sheriff stuff."

"Sure thing, Sheriff." Ennis turned to Jack, "This here's Jack Twist. He's a real good friend a mine come by to visit. But I suspect he's gonna stay awhile, get a job," here Ennis looked sharply, but with humor, at Jack, "quit with this freeloading."

Jack shot Ennis a glance just as sharp and humorous but was clearly nervous with a lawman standing so close. Jack stepped forward to shake the Sheriff's hand, "Pleased to meet ya."

"Well, Ennis, I'm right impressed that you actually gotta friend to begin with, tight-lipped cowboy that you are." Here he turned to Jack, "Where ya comin' in from, son?"

Jack looked over at Ennis pleading for help. Ennis picked up the conversation, "Jack's been rodeoing down south a here. Banged himself up pretty good though, so he's looking to get outta bull riding." Jack looked down at the floor relieved.

"Well, son, if you don't mind workin' hard, I know a rancher …Dan Westbrook over at the Double A…looking for a couple a good men. Just heard about it a day or so ago. Pay's pretty good, too. Dan's an honest and fair boss. Known him a long time." J.D. turned to Ennis, "Ya know, Ennis. Wouldn't hurt for you to check into this yourself. You and your friend here could hire on together. I know it'd be a better job than the one you got now."

Ennis looked over at Jack, unspoken words flying between them. If he could get a job where he could watch over Jack…well, they'd have to talk about this.

"Thank you, Sheriff. I've heard of the Double A. Sounds like a good deal just been dropped on us, huh, Jack?"

Jack smiled. It would be a good deal if he could work with Ennis. He was picking up the old attachment to Ennis and wanted him near most of the time now.

"Well, you guys talk it over. Let me know tomorrow what you decide. Would hate to see these spots go to some stiffs who can't appreciate 'em." Ennis and Jack both nodded. "So, how's about a beer?"

Sheriff J.D. Parker. The Sheriff had been patrolling this part of Wyoming for nearly ten years now. He was coming up on 37 years old. A lot like Ennis, he kept his personal life to himself, typically said only what needed to be said, and was known as an honest and decent man. He'd go out of his way to help anyone who needed it and out of his way to keep those in his jurisdiction safe.

He was not married and no one was really sure if he had ever been. He was well-liked and many people knew him by name and sight, but there were very few he called friend. Strangely, Ennis was one of them despite the age and occupational difference.

He was a little shorter than Ennis and Jack but where they were wiry from youth and hard work, J.D. was stockier, thicker. A few of the guys he had apprehended had made the mistake of trying to stand toe-to-toe with him…they didn't stand long. Guess the Golden Gloves boxing and State Champion wrestling he had done when he was younger had something to do with it.

And…like all people…he had his secrets and pains from the past.

They all went out on the porch…Sheriff Parker taking the beer and Ennis grabbing the whiskey and some glasses. Sheriff and Jack sat in the chairs, Ennis leaned against the house.

Casual conversation ensued, Sheriff looking to find out more about Jack.

"You boys known each other long?" Ennis and Jack exchanged glances.

"Not so long, no," Ennis said. Sheriff Parker watched the interaction of the two.

"You from around here, Jack?"

"No, sir, my folks are over in Lightning Flat." Jack was clearly nervous.

"Know where that is. Not much out that way. Must a been a might lonely growing up there."

"Yessir, it was for sure. There was only one other boy near my age to play with and he was a ways down the road so didn't see him often. Pretty much just me and my parents."

This went on for a little while. Sheriff noticing the glances and looks going on between Ennis and Jack…and recognizing their significance. But it was late and Sheriff needed to head on back to town.

"Well, boys, gotta run. Jack, it was a pleasure to meet you. I hope you enjoy our bit of God's earth up here."

"Good to meet you too, Sheriff. Thanks for the beer."

"No problem, Jack. Ennis, you go over to Dan's and tell him I sent you. I'll give him a call tomorrow to let him know that you're coming."

"Thanks, Sheriff, I'll do that. Appreciate you thinking of us."

"No problem, Ennis. You boys stay out of trouble, okay?"

Jack and Ennis stood on the porch and watched Sheriff drive away.

"Seems like a nice guy, but makes me real nervous having a lawman around that close," said Jack.

"He's a good man, Jack. Wouldn't drink with him if he weren't. No need to worry about him."

"I hear ya, Ennis, just makes me antsy." Ennis could understand given Jack's history over the last two years.

Ennis stood up, stretching and yawning dramatically…a sly glance to Jack. "It's late, rodeo. Work comes early. Time to get to bed."

"I'm right behind ya, cowboy." As Ennis turned, Jack put his hand on Ennis' shoulder and walked in with him…while his hand crept slowly south of Ennis' belt. Ennis smiled to himself feeling his world coming together.