Chapter 39

Gold

Typhlosion-Pyro LV: 35

Donphan-Trunks LV: 30

Snorlax-Lummox LV: 32

Ampharos-Sparks LV: 32

Sunflora-Sprout LV: 29

Kingdra LV: 40

Hiro

Feraligatr-Highfang LV: 32

Skarmory-Armor LV: 30

Muk-Stench LV: 38

Victreebel-Victor LV: 30

Magmar-Inferno LV: 30

Rhydon (Insert nickname) LV: 42

Crystal

Meganium (Blue) LV: 40

Blissey LV: 35

Sudowoodo LV: 40

Jynx LV: 30

Dragonair LV: 32

Copper

Fears-Fearow LV: 32

Quagsire-Whoopi LV: 31

Arcanine-Flares LV: 30

Machamp-Champion LV: 37

Heracross-Big Pickle LV: 35

Red Gyarados LV: 50

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"Hey Will! There's a naked woman behind you!"

"WHERE?"

"Get 'em boy!" Gold was standing on Lummox's head and demanded a Body Slam from it. Lummox jumped as high as its stubby legs could and flattened Exeggutor. Will turned around to see his Exeggutor flattened.

"That was a literally dirty trick!"

"That was for Pyro bitch! Rollout!" Lummox rolled up into a ball and came after Will.

"HOLY SHIT! XATU HELP ME OUT!" Will grabbed Xatu by its feet and flew out of the way. "Psychic!" Xatu used its power to break up all the ice in the room and put them all together to form a small ice mountain with a throne on top. Xatu dropped Will on the throne and fluttered over Gold's head. "Drill Peck!" Gold dove into the freezing pond and Lummox did the same. Xatu shattered the only strip of land they had left instead.

"Sorry Lummox... SELFDESTRUCT!" Snorlax glowed white and sent a wave of energy in all directions. The blast knocked Gold out of the water and onto Will's Ice Mountain. The water rippled out in tidal waves and managed to knock Xatu out of the air. In the end Lummox came up floating on its back unconscious and Xatu was drowning.

"Return Xatu!"

"How's it feel cock muncher?" Gold mocked. Will was so angry that Gold could see a big purple vein popping on his forehead. Will switched in Jynx and had it use Hyper Beam at Gold. But Will's Jynx is a bad shot because it sliced off a piece of the Ice Mountain for Gold to stand on instead of hitting him.

"Damn you Jynx! Why do you keep messing up your Hyper Beams?" Will bitch slapped it and Jynx started to cry. "You cry when I tell you to Bitch!"

"Will, chill out. Jynx is your pokemon not your ho."

"You have no say in this, client!"

"Client? You don't really think you're a pimp do you?"

"I told you to never question how I treat my bitches!"

"Are you fucking insane? We're in a battle!"

"Yes as a matter of fact I am insane. But it is the insane ones that are the true geniuses. It would take a true genius to invent Psycho points like I did."

"You're the only Psycho around here pal. And what's a Psycho Point?"

"I found out that every psychic pokemon has a certain place on its body where a human can grab and instantly take control of a full powered Psybeam. The middle head of an Exeggutor, the Shellder on a Slowbro, the-."

"Tail of a Kadabra?" Gold said remembering back to when he and Kazam sliced up Sprout Tower.

"Precisely. Now can you guess where the Psycho point is on a Jynx?" Gold thought for a moment and became quickly disgusted.

"Dude. You can't be serious. In its ju-."

"Yes! Psycho Jugs!" Will went behind Jynx and grabbed Jynx by its jugs. The Psybeam produced from Jynx's eyes was ENORMOUS. If Gold didn't duck in time, it would have decapitated him. Gold switched in Pyro again (nearly drowned but didn't faint. Same with Xatu). Will moved Jynx down. Gold jumped back holding Pyro in his arms before the blast hit them. Gold released Lummox again and used it for a raft. "That's not fair! You can't use two pokemon at once!"

"Take a look at Lummox retard! It can't fight you!" Lummox was out like a light. Pyro used a Flamethrower (TM) attack but instead of hitting Jynx it aimed for Will's Ice Mountain and melted it until it was just a floating strip of land. Now Gold did something unexpected. He used Lummox's stomach as a trampoline and leaped onto Jynx's psybeam.

"GAH! OUCH, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT! MY FEET ARE BURNING! HOT, HOT, HOT, HHHHOOOOOOOTTTTTT!" Gold screamed as he ran on the beam of light. He kicked Will in the face with his burning left foot. This caused Will to let go of Jynx and fall backwards into the water. Gold cannon balled into the water to put out his feet. "GET IT PYRO!" Pyro used a second Flamethrower which hit Jynx square in the stomach and knocked it out.

"None of the others could get me to use my last pokemon..." Will muttered to himself. He released Xatu again. "Future Arts!"

"That's not an attack!"

"And neither is Gigavolt but you still use it on a regular basis."

"How'd you know that?"

"I read your mind. And that girl Crystal is kind of hot. If you two ever break up, can I have a chance with her?"

"Touch her and you die! And stop messing with my head!"

"Whatever." Xatu's eyes glowed red and lifted its wings. It stayed stationary in midair. Suddenly the air above it became distorted and a jet of flames appeared over Xatu's head but it didn't fall nor move. And Xatu did the same thing over only with a jet of ice and a thunder bolt.

"What's it doing?"

"It's summoning some elements from the future and is gonna use them to kick your ass." Xatu clapped its wings together and the three elemental beams his Pyro at once. Pyro hit the back wall and collapsed in the water.

"CRAP! NOT AGAIN!" Gold returned it quickly and switched in his final pokemon: Sparks. Sparks used its foot to scratch behind its ear and didn't look too interested in the battle at hand. Will laughed at it and bashed him over the head with a stray boulder of ice. "This will teach you to make fun of Sparks. GIGAVOLT!" Sparks blasted at Xatu with all of the electricity in its body.

"FUTURE ARTS!" Xatu summoned its elemental beams again and used them to shield it from Gigavolt. Gold had to think of a way to distract Xatu.

"Hey Xatu! There's a smokin' hot female Xatu behind you!"

"You honestly think Xatu would be dumb enough to fall for that?"

"You fell for it, so why not Xatu?" And Gold was right. Xatu turned around to look for the 'smokin' hot' female Xatu. The Gigavolt engulfed its entire body. When the smoke cleared Xatu fell headfirst into the water... unconscious.

Gold could hear the other trainers cheering for him all the way from Victory Road.

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Crystal Leaves

"THAT DUDE WAS INCREDIBLE!"

"THAT IDIOT IS GONNA SAVE US!"

"You know what's sad?" Copper said to Crystal. "777664 couldn't beat that guy. And then Gold comes in with his negative 4 IQ and kicked his ass in forty five minutes."

"Geez. What's eating you? The sooner he wins, the sooner we get out of Nazi Road (just a joke, don't take it seriously) here."

"I'm just pissed off that Gold wins everything before I have a chance to try..."

"That's why it's called Golden Flames."

"You're just saying that so he and you could have victory sex after this..." Crystal punched him in the nose and turned back to the screen.

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Golden Flames (again)

After they healed all of Gold's pokemon they led him over to Koga's. Koga was waiting for him. And being the perverted asswipe that I am, Koga was butt naked and doing it with three chicks at once. Doggystyle...

"MY EYES! THEY BURN...yet I can't look away... This is like internet porn but in real life..."