Jack poured J.D. another whiskey trying not to let him see the utter amazement he was feeling over this revelation. Jack wanted so bad to ask questions…his normal chatterbox mode stifled by this man's obvious pain. He knew though that this was J.D.'s time and shouldn't interrupt.

A few days had gone by and J.D. had only seen Nathan once at school. J.D. had been going to class and, looking up, saw Nathan some distance away. Nathan had looked up about the same time and stopped, staring at J.D. They both stood for a moment…still. Nathan looked toward the building he had been walking toward and then back at J.D., clearly torn. The decision was made when the school bell rang. Nathan stole one last glance at J.D., clearly unhappy that he had to go to class. He raised his hand slightly to wave and then turned to walk to class.

Then one Saturday there was a knock at the door. J.D.'s mom answered and called J.D. to let him know a friend was waiting.

As J.D. rounded the stairs coming down to the living room, he stopped, surprised. There was Nathan standing in profile looking at family pictures on the wall, hands in his pockets, his demeanor calm but with a tension surrounding him.

J.D. realized he had been holding his breath, one foot preparing to take a step. He found everything else but the sight of Nathan disappearing from his vision. A thought surfaced…he had never seen anything animate or inanimate that was this beautiful.

Before J.D. could move, Nathan turned slowly seeing J.D. frozen on the stairs. Nathan locked eyes with J.D., thinking how handsome he looked, and slowly smiled at him. J.D.'s knees went weak and his throat closed up.

"Hey, J.D. Hope I'm not intruding. I was just…um…in the neighborhood." Nathan had taken his hands out of his pockets and crossed them over his chest showing some nervousness.

"Nathan…" J.D. stammered out.

"I can…uh…come back some other time if you're busy," Nathan said looking at the door then back since J.D. wasn't moving or speaking.

"No…no," J.D. said putting his hand out as if to stop Nathan, "um…I was just studying." J.D. was clearly nervous and ran his fingers through his hair. "How are ya? I mean, the ribs and all."

Nathan shrugged. "I'm fine…thanks to you." Nathan looked down breaking eye contact. Now that J.D. was no longer paralyzed by Nathan's gaze, he stepped into the room and closer to Nathan.

Both now stuffed their hands in their pockets trying to ease their embarrassment. Neither could look at the other.

"What are you studying, J.D.?"

"Ugh, math. I hate it. I just don't do too good at it. Never have."

Nathan looked at J.D. and said quickly, "I could help you with it. It's one of my strongest subjects…I mean, if you want."

"Yeah, that'd be great."

They went to J.D.'s room, Nathan looking around at the things J.D. had laying around. He noticed the trophies.

"There's lots of trophies here, J.D. This is pretty impressive."

J.D. couldn't speak. Nathan looked at each of the trophies, "Boxing, boxing, wrestling, boxing, wrestling…a science project?" Nathan looked at J.D. with a smile.

"Well, it was just something I did when I was a kid…nothin' really," J.D. responded as he scuffed his foot on the floor and ran his hands through his hair.

Nathan watched J.D. finding his nervousness and shyness endearing. He could feel himself being drawn closer to J.D., the feel of their bond growing stronger.

To ease J.D.'s discomfort, Nathan asked what problems in math J.D. was having. They went towards the desk where J.D. had been doing his homework. Nathan began helping J.D. by showing him tricks and pointers to understanding math.

During this time, they were sitting close, Nathan occasionally leaning over to point something out on J.D.'s papers. There was the occasional brush of one arm against the other, one hand against the other, one thigh against the other.

J.D. was barely listening to Nathan as he helped him with his studying unable to ignore the occasional contact. In fact, he was downright uncomfortable with the heat he felt being near Nathan…and the tightness in his own groin. Occasionally he would glance out of the corner of his eye at Nathan as he leaned close to J.D.

It all came to a head when Nathan stood up and leaned over J.D.'s shoulder to point out an equation. His hip pressed against J.D.'s shoulder, his hand brushed J.D.'s as he pointed out a mistake, his breath a breeze across J.D.'s ear.

Unable to bear the tension any longer, J.D. laid his hand on Nathan's squeezing lightly, not shifting his position, not looking at Nathan. Nathan froze and stopped talking.

They remained locked in this position for a moment then Nathan moved over to J.D.'s side and squatted next to his chair.

"J.D.," Nathan said very quietly with a hitch in his voice.

J.D. pulled Nathan's hand to his chest holding tightly, one single tear rolling down his face. He couldn't look at Nathan…he couldn't face him. He wasn't sure why he felt the way he did nor why he was holding Nathan's hand but knew that he couldn't let go. Their hands were supposed to be like this…together, entwined.

The image of Nathan being beaten came to mind and the overwhelming need to keep him safe flamed again through J.D. causing him to shake.

Nathan reached up and brushed the hair back over J.D.'s ear whispering softly to him, "I'll never forget what you did for me the other day. You came striding forward like a hero from an ancient battle…righting wrong, vanquishing evil. I couldn't look away from you…and I still can't even now." J.D. turned and saw Nathan's eyes had misted over also.

"They were hurting you," J.D. said softly. "That's all I could see…and I couldn't let them do that. Not to you. If there had been a hundred of them, I still would have stopped them. I just couldn't let them hurt you."

J.D. closed his eyes and put his head down. Nathan leaned forward and laid his forehead against J.D.'s. They stayed that way for a moment then Nathan leaned in and lightly ran his lips over J.D.'s. J.D.'s control was lost completely and he pulled Nathan close to kiss him…little sobs breaking free.

It was the summer after J.D.'s and Nathan's graduation from high school. They had been inseparable since that day in J.D.'s room. They were in Nathan's room talking, which led to sitting close, which led to kissing, which would have led to something else except that Nathan's father walked in at that moment.

When he saw the two of them together, kissing, his face grew stern, his brows knit together. He had never thought much of Nathan, being his wife's son not his, thinking him weak, but now felt that here was his chance to finally get rid of him.

He kicked J.D. out of the house and gave Nathan time to pack a bag, feeling no sympathy at all, just satisfaction that he had finally won over Nathan. Because Nathan had never gotten angry with his father, never talked back, never showed him hatred as his father had wanted him to. Nathan's father took this as weakness not the strength that it actually was and therefore held only contempt for him. Now was his chance to get rid of Nathan. To rid himself of this weakling and reminder of another man's passion for his wife.

Nathan packed without comment, kissed his mother, said goodbye to his sisters and left. He headed straight for J.D.

Nathan cried. He cried because finally he was free of the tyrant of a father he had grown up with. Cried because he had now lost his mother and sisters. There was no way his father would allow him to return. Nathan knew his father would never change his mind or repeal his decision. Nathan was alone now.

J.D. tried to comfort him as best he could, holding him tight, while trying to restrain his anger at Nathan's father. He was frantically trying to decide what to do next…how to help Nathan.

"Don't cry, Nathan, please. It'll all be okay. You'll see. No more tears, please." Nathan leaned into J.D., his protector, knowing that J.D. was there for him no matter what.

"You could stay here for awhile. My mom and dad like you a lot. They'd let you stay." J.D. was frantically looking for an answer. "Or we could leave, Nathan. We could go somewhere and get jobs. It'd just be the two of us. I wouldn't let anything happen to you, Nathan, not ever," and J.D. pulled Nathan close…pulled close this precious man that he had found.

It had been seven years since J.D. and Nathan had left. They had moved, gotten jobs and lived a quiet life together. People didn't think much of the two of them living together…they were nice kids. Occasionally there was a problem with those whose hate had risen to the surface and had therefore lost much of their humanity but it was the rare thing. They were mostly left alone. They had a good life together.

Then one day, while Nathan was at the bank, a young man chose to take money rather than work for it. He didn't care much for those around him and was brutal in his robbery attempt. In his fear of being stopped and caught, he became reckless. Nathan, not dropping to the ground quickly enough, suffered for this by taking a bullet and dying immediately.

J.D. wondered why Nathan hadn't come home yet. There had been no call. Work had said he left earlier that day. He had begun to truly fear for Nathan when there was a knock at the door.

J.D. heard the news, thanked the officers, closed the door and collapsed. He hadn't been there to protect Nathan. It was his fault Nathan was dead.

J.D. completed his police training a few years later. He spent a little time in the same town where he and Nathan had lived but couldn't put away the memories. Everywhere he went he saw reminders of their time together.

He had never gotten over the death of Nathan…and blamed himself for his death, for not saving Nathan from harm. He chose to be a policeman in order to save others from the same senseless death that had occurred to Nathan…and to ease his own conscious for not being there for him.

He moved to Wyoming later that y ear, when he was 27 years old. He needed to get away to someplace quiet, someplace not like where he and Nathan had lived. The open spaces of Wyoming were certainly quiet and decidedly far away from the city.

He never interacted much with people, though he was cordial and always vigilant of those under his watch. He did his job with enthusiasm always thinking of Nathan and his promise to be there for others.

He never spoke of Nathan to anyone…mostly because there was never anyone that he met that he could talk to or would understand in any way.

There was no one to tell Nathan's story to…no one to share his love for Nathan with. No one knew Nathan as J.D. did…and he thought no one ever would. He tried to push thoughts of Nathan away so he could live…live without the pain of the loss, without the pain of the self-blame.

Then he met Ennis and Jack. Thoughts of Nathan came running back…but he hadn't been sure that the two were lovers. He couldn't just assume. This wasn't a part of the country where being queer was something that was okay. It could be a bad thing if he was wrong and approached them. It had been excruciating…his need to talk yet not knowing whether he could.

His need to talk had won out.

Jack sat back stunned by J.D. and his story. He didn't know what to say. It had seemed so easy for them be together, so easy for them to express their love. He felt envious but dropped that. This wasn't about him but about J.D. Jack reached over and laid his hand on J.D.'s knee.

"J.D. I don't know what to say. I wish I had known Nathan. I wish that there had been someone for you to speak to so you wouldn't have to keep this to yourself. I don't know how you did it all these years. I know if I lost Ennis…well, I don't think I could keep on going." Jack took his hand from J.D.'s knee and poured them some more whiskey.

"Thank you, Jack. And thanks for listening to me yammer on. I'm sorry again for scaring you earlier…"

"No, J.D., no need. I want you to know that you are always welcome here…anytime. I know Ennis would feel the same way. I wish he had been here to hear your story."

They sat for a little while, casual conversation passing between them to ease down from the intensity of Nathan's story. Soon J.D. got up to leave.

J.D. reached out his hand to shake Jack's but Jack pulled him close in a hug to let him know he had a friend and was wanted. J.D. patted him on the back, thanked him again, and drove off feeling a huge weight lifted from his heart. Someone knew about Nathan now. J.D.'s heart was lighter than it had been in years. He was smiling as he drove away.

Ennis, who was parked down the street behind some trees but in sight of Jack and J.D., was not smiling. His knuckles were white where they gripped the steering wheel. His jaw was clenched, his shoulders hunched. He had seen that there was someone there with Jack as he was driving up so pulled off to watch.

During the time that Jack had been home, Ennis never thought of Jack and other men. It was just the two of them so Ennis had no particular need to feel jealous. Over the months that Jack had been working though, Ennis had seen Jack laughing with the other hands, walking alone with some, patting some on the back. He found him once standing at a fence, his foot up on a railing, talking with the foreman. He had interpreted these events as Jack flirting, the other ranch hands flirting with Jack, losing Jack to someone else.

All the things they had said to each other after Jack arrived, all the feelings that Ennis had discovered and new behaviors that he had adopted were lost when Ennis saw Jack around other men.

Every time Ennis would think to confront Jack or call to him to say something, Jack would turn and smile at Ennis with love in his eyes causing Ennis to forget or decide to put it off till later or begin to believe he had made a mistake. Jack wouldn't do this to him.

But this was different. Jack had hugged J.D. He had put his hand on J.D.'s knee. There was no mistake here, no illusion spawned from jealousy. It was right there for anyone to see. They must have something going on. Did J.D. come to the house every time Ennis left? Was J.D. enjoying what only Ennis was supposed to have? Didn't Jack belong to Ennis?

Ennis watched as Jack went back inside the house.

He started his truck and drove down the street and up the driveway.