Jack stood for a moment and watched J.D. drive away, still stunned by the story, unable to believe that someone he thought had the power, and maybe the desire, to hurt them was just like him and Ennis. Jack, like Ennis, had not had the experience of being around other queer men and was shaken by hearing this story so like their own. He wondered how Ennis was going to take this since he and J.D. were close.

Jack turned around and walked into the house, glancing back once to see if Ennis was coming…wishing he had been there with him to talk to J.D., wishing Ennis were there now to hold him close and calm his fears of Ennis dying…like Nathan…without Jack. He could hear Ennis in his mind, calling for him, then dying without him.

It was too painful for Jack to think about. Tears came to his eyes and a promise to his lips that he would never leave Ennis to die alone. He'd always be there.

He closed the door and went in to make supper. Buck trailing along, happy to see Jack again…oh, and maybe there'd be a treat in the kitchen.

Shortly after he walked in the door, he heard Ennis' truck pulling up…kinda fast. He didn't think too much about it and continued on into the kitchen.

Ennis stormed into the house, Jack spun to see what the ruckus was, Buck started barking. Jack saw, in the instant before Ennis caught him by the front of the shirt and slammed him against the counter, the anger in Ennis' face and only had time for one small thought…"why?"

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS J.D. DOIN' HERE, HUH, JACK? YOU TWO GOT SOMETHIN' GOIN' ON BEHIND MY BACK, HUH, YOU SON OF A BITCH?

"Ennis, what the fuck is…"

"Don't fuck with me, Jack! I saw you hug him! I saw you put your hand on his knee…"

"He wanted to talk, Ennis, that's all…"

"Don't lie to me…," Ennis yelled and then he made a really big mistake. He raised his hand to strike Jack.

Jack saw and felt the shift in Ennis' shoulders and before Ennis could bring his hand up, Jack had already started his fist on a course for Ennis' jaw. It connected before Ennis had barely moved. Buck was jumping around, barking at the top of his lungs seeing Jack in danger.

Ennis ended up on the floor, dazed, and, for a moment, confused as to where he was. Jack was standing over him, panting, red in the face, hands clenched at his side.

"Don't you ever...fuckin'…raise..your..hand to me again. NO ONE gets to hurt me again!"

Ennis, coming back to clarity, started to get up.

"Don't you come near me!" Jack yelled at Ennis as he backed up a few steps, leaning his hand on the table top to steady himself. "Buck, shut up!" Buck went quiet mid-yap.

"Jack, why was J.D. here?" Ennis asked again, jaw still clenched but now throbbing. He was still angry but a disconcerting thought that he was in the wrong here was surfacing.

"J.D. was only here to talk, Ennis…just to talk." Jack couldn't keep his voice down. "He's like us…he had a man he loved just like us." Now Jack's voice softened some, "He had no one to talk to Ennis…all these years, no one to talk to." Jack started to sob.

Ennis couldn't maintain his anger anymore at the sight of Jack in tears. But now his fear began to rise when he really began to understand that it was his fault that Jack was in such a state. He saw how Jack was backing away, scared, waiting for Ennis to hurt him…he's scared of me. He went cold inside. I'm doing this to Jack. I'm making him afraid of me. This ain't what I'm supposed to be doing to him.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I ain't gonna hurt ya…please…"

"No, Ennis. You can't come in here accusing me of shit that ain't true, trying to hurt me, and then just apologize thinking it'll all go away!"

Ennis got up slowly, Jack watching him warily.

"Jack, I'm…"

Jack's anger rose again, "I thought I was through with being hit, being beaten, being accused. I thought I was done with all that when I came here and you said you wanted me to stay…that you loved me…that you wouldn't let anyone hurt me. Well, I was a fool once again. Damn me that I can't seem to see this shit coming before I get caught up in it." Jack turned and walked a few steps, still crying.

Ennis scrambled for Jack remembering clearly the night Jack had tried to leave. Before he could get to him, he tripped over Buck who had dashed to Jack then fell to his knees, grabbing Jack's shirt near his belt before he hit the ground.

"No, Jack, no, please, I'm sorry, okay?"

Jack turned to Ennis, saw that he was breathing heavy, no longer angry but terrified.

"Why the fuck would you do this to me?" Jack said softly.

For a moment, Ennis was unable to speak. Jack could see him trying to get the words out, the confusion in his eyes, knowing how hard it was for Ennis to vocalize his feelings. Finally the words began to stumble forth.

"You…Jack…you make me crazy, Jack." At some point, Ennis had lost his hat and was running his fingers through his hair. "Everything in my brain twists whenever I look at you. When you're close, all I…all I can think of his how you smell. When you touch me, I feel like lightning struck," here Ennis took a breath, "and if you're gone, there ain't nothin' of me left." Ennis knelt putting his arms around Jack's waist, laying his head on Jack's stomach. "I ain't alive unless I'm with you, Jack."

Jack laid his hand on Ennis' head, as always, unable to resist helping Ennis when the need arose.

"I just keep seeing you around the ranch with these other men, friendly with these guys in town…and it kills me, Jack. I can't stand it when I see another man put his hands on you. I know it ain't right, but I can't help it."

"Ennis, there ain't nothing between me and any other man. You are the only one." Jack said quietly.

Ennis didn't respond. Jack knew that Ennis couldn't believe through his fears what he had just said.

"Ennis, do you love me?"

Ennis stayed silent not wanting to venture where Jack was going. He burrowed his head deeper into Jack's stomach.

"Ennis, answer me. Do you love me?"

Ennis nodded into Jack's stomach.

"Say it, Ennis."

"I love you," he said, the words muffled by Jack's shirt and the tears that had started.

Jack said calmly, "You're lyin', Ennis. Cause if you loved me, you'd trust me. All those things you said to me when I came here don't mean nothin' if you can't trust me."

"No, Jack, please, it ain't like that," Ennis stammered, pulling back to look at Jack.

"Yeah it is, Ennis. You begged me to stay. You told me you loved me. I let go of all the hateful thoughts I had of you and stayed 'cause I believed you. Do you think that was easy? And now all you want to do is beat on me and accuse me of being a whore…all the same things Wade did to me. I thought you said things were gonna be different."

Ennis slumped back on his heels, his mouth open but no words coming out, barely able to look at Jack. He knew that Jack was right.

"You didn't believe me when I said I loved you," Jack said, the words going straight to Ennis' heart.

Jack turned and headed for the door.

"I assume you left the keys in the truck when you stormed in here to accuse me of fucking J.D.?" Jack didn't turn, didn't wait for an answer. "Don't know when I'll be back."

Ennis bent over and started crying, wondering how in the world could he have fucked things up so bad.