Chapter 47
Gold
Typhlosion-Pyro LV: 45
Poliwrath-Hell Frog LV: 35
Hiro
Feraligatr-Highfang LV: 32
Skarmory-Armor LV: 30
Muk-Stench LV: 38
Victreebel-Victor LV: 30
Magmar-Inferno LV: 30
Rhydon (Insert nickname) LV: 42
Crystal
Meganium (Blue) LV: 40
Blissey LV: 35
Sudowoodo LV: 40
Jynx LV: 30
Dragonair LV: 32
Copper
Fears-Fearow LV: 32
Quagsire-Whoopi LV: 31
Arcanine-Flares LV: 30
Machamp-Champion LV: 37
Heracross-Big Pickle LV: 35
Red Gyarados LV: 50
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Gold and Hell Frog walked casually across a Newsstand in Vermillion City. Gold noticed that one of them had a picture of him on it looking down his own pants. He picked it up and read the title out loud.
"My Life Without A Twig and Berries: A Biography of Gold Ryu, the guy with no balls? WHO WROTE THIS BULLSHIT?" He opened to the front cover. "Written by the distinguished authors, HIRO AND SILVER? THOSE SONS OF BITCHES! WHEN I SEE THEM I'M GONNA GOUGE OUT THEIR EYES AND MOUNT THEIR BALLS OVER MY FIREPLACE! What the fuck are y'all looking at?"
A group of people clustered around him, each carrying a copy of My Life Without a Twig and Berries. They were whispering behind their hands to each other.
"The book says he attached a stapler to his groin to make up for having no penis."
"Is it true that he cheated on Crystal with forty girls?"
"Probably. He's champion right? What girl wouldn't want to sleep with him? Even though he has no genitalia, girls go crazy over famous dudes."
"I CAN HEAR YOU! AND EVERYTHING IN THAT BOOK IS A LIE MADE UP BY MY STUPID FRIENDS!"
"So the part with the lotion and the Ponyta wasn't true?"
"Lotion? Ponyta? Let me see that." Gold took the book from his hand and read it to himself. "EWWW! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THOSE TWO! Calm down Gold... Okay everyone just burn these books and pretend like you never read it. As long as they don't leave the city, I'm fine." One of them tapped him on the shoulder.
"I hate to tell you this but these are being shipped to the entire region tonight."
"The book is that good?"
"Oprah even put it at the top of the booklist."
"Shit! That makes it worse. Damn Oprah and her widely used booklist. Tell me, where are these things being made?"
"In Saffron City."
"Then that's where I'm headed. But before I go... HYPER BEAM!" Hell Frog sent a blast of energy from the swirl on its stomach and blew up the Newsstand. "I'll teach those two to never mess with a champion!"
STORY CHANGE: Hiro Waves
The S.S. Aqua had just landed in Vermillion. The group shoved Hiro into a burlap sack so no one would see the new tail. When they got out a sailor stopped them in their tracks.
"What's in the bag?"
"Um... a clock?" Crystal said unsurely looking at the bag on Silver's back. The sailor put his ear to the bag and listened closely.
"TICK TOCK TICK TOCK..." Hiro said from inside the sack. The sailor backed away from it and started shouting.
"IT'S A BOMB! MAN YOUR STATIONS! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! GET THE BOMB SQUAD IN HERE!" He snatched the sack away from Silver and tossed into the water. Hiro freaked out and jumped out of it just before they blew up the bag.
"Me no likey water..." Hiro said hissing at the water.
"You almost killed him you fucktards!" Tit shrieked.
"Um... sorry about that... Hey, that kid has the curse of the beast! Get him before he bites someone!" Everyone who worked on the ship chased after Hiro. Hiro had enough sense to lift everybody on to Armor before taking off.
"Bite my furry ass sailor dudes!" Hiro pulled down his pants and mooned his pursuers. Heheh, he's mooning, sailors. Sailor Moon, get it? Bad joke-o-rama...
"Where to first gang?" Hiro asked. Crystal was crying over the loss of Gold, Tit was trying to comb Hiro's tail and Silver was listening to his Isuck, not giving a damn as usual. "And I thought I was the one cursed... This part isn't gonna get anymore interesting. RTJ, switch to Platinum and Copper."
"Damn it! Stop talking me! And don't tell me what to do either."
"Quit your bitching and change the point of view."
"Fine jackass. Why are you guys so pissed at me all the time?"
"You turned me into a mutant, supposedly killed Crystal's boyfriend and my best friend and Tit and Silver are being dragged into a journey they don't want to be a part of."
"Now that you put it that way, I'm fucking evil."
"Damn straight."
"I'll change it but from now on, stop talking to me during the fanfiction."
"Deal."
"ALAKAPOOPIE!"
STORY CHANGE: Platinum Volts (I changed the scene with my magical powers)
"Where the hell are we dude?" Platinum asked someone on the street.
"You're in Lavender Town. Now please go away."
"Bastard!" Plat kicked him in the shin and ran back to where Copper was waiting. He didn't look to happy..."What happened to you?"
"I was trying to look for the others at that Tower but they kicked me out. I say we sneak in there and blow up everyone who gets in our way."
"Let's do it!"
The duo hid under a couple of tables inside the building. The security was positioned in front of the stairs like always. Platinum distracted him by releasing the Raticate he caught in front of him. When he ran after it the two boys ran up the stairs.
Instead of being a Radio Tower, the rest of the building turned out to be a strip club. Copper and Platinum's mouths fell open in amazement.
"My eyes, they burn yet I can't look away..." Platinum muttered. Remind you of anyone?
"Let's get the fuck out of here!" They ran back down the stairs. Platinum returned Raticate and ran out screaming. When they were far enough away from the Tower they stopped to catch their breath.
"Let's never speak of this ever again."
"Deal. So how about we go get some badges or something?"
"Sure." Let's see what's Gold's doing, shall we?
STORY CHANGE: Golden Flames
"This is the place," Gold said in front of the place where they made the evil books. "If I'm going to hell I'm taking those damned books down with me."
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Sorry about the shortness. I just don't have enough focusing power to make it longer right now. I know what you're thinking. Why don't I just take a break and write more when I get my head together? Well that's not how I work okay! Why must you judge me? Now that I'm through annoying you I must find that Leprechaun that's always on TV and beat him up for his Lucky Charms.