Chapter 49
Gold
Typhlosion-Pyro LV: 45
Poliwrath-Hell Frog LV: 35
Hiro
Feraligatr-Highfang LV: 32
Skarmory-Armor LV: 30
Muk-Stench LV: 38
Victreebel-Victor LV: 30
Magmar-Inferno LV: 30
Rhydon (Insert nickname) LV: 42
Crystal
Meganium (Blue) LV: 40
Blissey LV: 35
Sudowoodo LV: 40
Jynx LV: 30
Dragonair LV: 32
Copper
Fears-Fearow LV: 32
Quagsire-Whoopi LV: 31
Arcanine-Flares LV: 30
Machamp-Champion LV: 37
Heracross-Big Pickle LV: 35
Red Gyarados LV: 50
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"Uh... dad, should you be reading while you drive?" Gold asked. He was giving Gold a ride in his car and he was reading a supposedly hilarious book at the same time.
"It's called multitasking boy."
"Can you single task instead?"
"Why?"
"Because we just ran over a Pikachu, a paper boy and an old lady."
"Oops... But I can't put the book down. It's too funny and glued to my hand."
"I don't even want to know why it's glued to your- Wait. What book is that?"
"My Life Without A Twig And Berries."
"LOOK OUT!" Gold grabbed the steering wheel and swerved the car out of the way of an incoming truck. "I'm driving..."
"No you're not. You don't have a license. Even though I'm reading, I am still perfectly able to drive a- SWEET JESUS! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" He drove the car into a tree. The airbag stopped the impact for him but Gold didn't have one. His head got slammed into the dashboard. Walter picked him up from the floor of the car. "You alright boy?"
"I hate you..." Gold murmured just before he passed out.
"Oopsie... HAHA! That part with the lotion and the Ponyta is hilarious!" I guess stupidity runs in the family. Time for another scene transition folks!
STORY CHANGE: Silver Ice
"FASTER BITCH, FASTER!" Hiro demanded. He, Crystal and Tit were riding in a rickshaw (those things that are like little huts on only two wheels with the two bars in front for people to grab and drive you with while you're sitting on your ass inside) with Silver as the driver. Hiro was using his tail to whip him.
"Why is Silver driving this piece of shit again?" Crystal asked before getting slammed into the side of the vehicle when Silver took a sharp turn.
"He's just being nice. Isn't that right Silver?"
Silver put on a fake smile and said, "That's right... I'm gonna kill you while you're sleeping you evil son of a bitch..."
"What was that?"
"I said I'm gonna kill poo while you're sleeping in a Sneasel filled ditch."
"That's what I thought you said. STOP!" Silver stopped so abruptly that Hiro fell out and landed on his face.
"HA! That's what you get bitch!" Silver mocked.
"Oh, Crystal," Hiro called. "I've got a secret to share with you..." Silver panicked and picked Hiro up and whispered into his ear.
"I'll do anything you want just don't tell!"
"What do you want to tell me?" Crystal asked climbing out the rickshaw.
"Silver likes to give people piggy back rides in his free time," Hiro explained. Crystal shrugged and climbed onto Silver's back. Silver gave Hiro the middle finger just before they entered the building they were looking for.
"Hey Silver. What's going on between you and Hiro?" Crystal whispered in Silver's ear.
"Nothing."
"I'm not stupid Silver. Tell me what's going on!"
"Um...uh... I'm gay?" That last part just kind of slipped out. Crystal got off of him and crossed her arms. Her face practically screamed 'I don't believe you'. "What? You don't believe I'm gay? I'll show you!" He went up to Hiro and kissed him.
"EWW! GET THE FUCK OFF! GAY SON OF A BITCH! UGH! I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UP!" Hiro screamed.
"See! I told you I'm gay!" Crystal shook her head and walked ahead of the group.
"When you decide to stop lying to me, then we'll talk Silver." Hiro took the lead again and led them to a rundown apartment building.
"What are we here for?" Tit said as a Ratatta ran across their path.
"My uncle lives here," Hiro explained. "I asked him to help me with my tail problem. But be cautious, he's getting on in years and getting a little insane. So refer to him as Horatio Thunder Pants the whole time." He knocked on the front door and a man who slightly looked like Albert Einstein answered the door. He was in his boxers and with a test-tube up his right nostril. "Hi Uncle Thunder Pants."
"Michael Jackson? I love that crazy biotch! Cause this is Thriller! Thriller night and no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike. You know its Thriller; Thriller night! You're fighting for your life in a killer, thriller TONIGHT!" He grabbed his crotch and started to dance spasmodically. He took another look at Hiro and started to cry.
"What's wrong Uncle Dude?"
"I'LL COME BACK TO YOU KAIRI! I PROMISE!" He pulled on a red haired wig. "I KNOW YOU WILL!" He took off his boxers and stood naked in front of them.
"THE NAKEDNESS! IT BURNS MY FLESH!" Hiro cried covering his eyes.
"WHAT ARE YOU PUNKS DOING IN MY HOUSE? GET THE FUCK OUT!" He slammed the door in Hiro's face, causing him to fall backwards.
"That went well," Silver said sarcastically.
"Shut up douche bag! You just need to speak his language, that's all." He knocked on the door to find his uncle in a princess outfit. "Princess Thunder Pants may I ask thee to sever the beast within with the plunger of smiting?"
"You want me to cut off that tail? Sure, anything for my favorite niece."
"Penis."
"I mean nephew." The others looked at Hiro in sheer awe.
"You spoke gibberish and he completely understood you!" Crystal exclaimed.
"That's how you communicate with him. Go ahead and try it." Crystal walked up to the old man.
"Um..." Crystal was thinking of something to say but the old man bitch slapped her across the face.
"I know you ain't talking about my man that way! Get out of my house bitch!" He shoved her out the door and locked her out. "That'll teach you, you skanky whore! Now what did you want again Hiro?"
"For the blade of retardation to staple my butt shut."
"I'll go get the knife." He walked off into the kitchen and came back with a knife in his hand. He laid Hiro's tail down on the table and sliced it off in one slash.
"Water bottles are pooping on my eyes!" Hiro said.
"I am awesome aren't I niece?"
"Penis..."
"Sorry. Nephew." Tit tapped Hiro on his shoulder and pointed to his butt. The tail grew back in an instant.
"Aww... poopityschmopit!" Hiro cursed.
"The Fire Department's on fire (that's what poopityschmopit turned into)?" The gang said their goodbyes and left the apartment.
"I don't get it," Silver said. "Why'd you make us come here when Crystal could have cut off your tail with her chainsaw?"
"Then you wouldn't give us a ride in the rickshaw."
"I'LL KILL YOU!"
Meanwhile...
"Nigga, this game cheats (that's the first time I didn't censor the N word)," Brock said. He and Lazy were playing on the Gaystation in their spooky cave headquarters.
"Nigga, the game ain't cheating. I don't even have thumbs and I'm still kicking your ass."
"Suck my ass!"
"Why are you talking about asses for homo?"
"Because you like to take it in the ass."
"Yes, yes I do. Got a problem with that, bitch?
"Uh... damn it nigga! You outsmarted me!"
"Nigga you' stupid."
"Bitch nigga!"
"Stupid nigga!"
"Bitch ass nigga!"
"Ignorant motherfucka'!"
"WILL YOU TWO PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP? THE BOSS IS ABOUT TO SPEAK!" Bruno yelled. Their boss came out of the shadows. He took out four pieces of paper and tossed them onto the table. They were pictures of Hiro, Silver, Crystal and Tit.
"Hey I know these bitches," Lazy said. "The retarded jackass, the red haired badass, the bitch with attitude and that girl with the stupid name. What do you need us to do with them?
"Eliminate them."
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I know the past few chapters were kind of filler-ish but I promise that there will be some action in the next part! Read it, love it, review it and then go back to your daily lives, whatever they may be.