Chapter 50
Gold
Typhlosion-Pyro LV: 45
Poliwrath-Hell Frog LV: 35
Hiro
Feraligatr-Highfang LV: 32
Skarmory-Armor LV: 30
Muk-Stench LV: 38
Victreebel-Victor LV: 30
Magmar-Inferno LV: 30
Rhydon (Insert nickname) LV: 42
Crystal
Meganium (Blue) LV: 40
Blissey LV: 35
Sudowoodo LV: 40
Jynx LV: 30
Dragonair LV: 32
Copper
Fears-Fearow LV: 32
Quagsire-Whoopi LV: 31
Arcanine-Flares LV: 30
Machamp-Champion LV: 37
Heracross-Big Pickle LV: 35
Red Gyarados LV: 50
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Before starting, I have to say something. It's not very important but I've decided to divide the fic into arcs depending on location. Johto: Jackasses in Johto. Kanto: Crap in Kanto. Now back to your regularly scheduled dose of supreme, never ending stupidity.
"Niggas in my face damn near everyday, askin' a million questions like Lazy where you stay. Tell 'em in a cave where we got sex slaves. In 20 grand, spend a grand on knaves. Just bought a zone, bling on my feet, I'm on that patrone so get like me- BAM!" Bruno took out a gun and shot the radio in Lazy's car.
"Nigga, what was that for?"
"I'm tired of hearing that song of yours!"
"You're just mad because no one likes the songs you make. I'm telling you, people don't like songs called 'You ain't supposed to be a Nigga, you're supposed to be a black man'. It's too fucking long!"
"It's niggas like you and Brock that give us black folks a bad name."
"Nigga, we're the only black people in the entire pokemon universe, anime, manga, fanfiction or otherwise. How could we give black people a bad name if we're the only ones?" Brock said. Bruno was positively dumbfounded and shut up for the rest of the trip. They stopped at the pokemon center in Vermillion City.
"Let's get rolling bitches..."
STORY CHANGE: Golden Flames
"This place rocks!" Gold's dad had led them into an abandoned leftover Kanto P.O.O.T base. The sign labeled the place 'The Hall of Misfit Inventions.
"This isn't so great. All of the inventions here work wrong. Like that cheese ray. Or that cloning machine."
"What's wrong with the cloning machine?"
"It makes your clone about one-eighth your size and gives them the brain capacity of a four year old."
"Like mini-me?"
"Yes, like mini-me." When his dad wasn't looking, Gold placed a hair on the scanner. The machine gurgled and sputtered out puffs of smoke. The red light on top of it turned green and opened the doors. A miniature version of Gold stepped out, who looked only about five years old. "DAD CHECK IT OUT! I HAVE A CLONE!"
"I told you not to touch anything!" He slapped the back of Gold's head and pulled out the cheese ray.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm gonna eliminate this freak of nature." Gold ran up to shield his monstrosity.
"Touch a hair on Gold Jr.'s head and I'll make sure you'll never get a moment's peace for the rest of your life!"
"Fine. Keep your pet clone. I've got something here that could help us find H.U.M.P.M.E.B.I.T.C.H, so until I get back... DON'T. MAKE. ANYMORE. CLONES!" He walked off deeper into the cave.
"Wanna make more clones?" Gold asked Gold Junior. Gold Jr. shook his head and pulled out two vials with hairs in them. One was labeled Silver and the other was Hiro. "Oh. You want friends! Wait. Where'd you get those?"
"Your pockets," he replied.
"You can speak?"
"Among other things." He placed Silver's hair on the scanner and in about five minutes, a clone of Silver came out.
"Uh oh. Dad's coming. Hiro's clone is gonna have to wait. You two hide!" The clones hid behind some sort of strange machine.
"Who are you? Where am I?" Silver Jr. asked.
"The guy who looks like me is Dad. And that weird looking machine is Mom. And that middle aged guy is Grandpa, and I'm Gold Jr. I don't know where we are either," Gold Jr. explained.
"We come from the same Mom and as far as I can tell, your dad is my dad too. We must be brothers!"
"Makes sense to me." Gold senior sat next to his own dad in front of a giant computer.
"The flaw of H.U.M.P.M.E.B.I.T.C.H is that their members are too recognizable. Who doesn't know Bruno and Brock? And a talking gangsta Slowking isn't hard to miss."
"What's your point dad?"
"My point is that if we ask around then it will take us days to find them. But if we use P.O.O.T's global positioning satellite then we can find them in an instant." He pressed a couple of buttons on the keyboard and in seconds a map of Vermillion with three glowing dots near the top.
"They're in Vermillion!"
"Let's teleport there right now!"
"We need to get the clones first."
"Clones? You made more then one didn't you?"
"Gold Jr. wanted a friend."
"Silver's not just my friend. He's my little brother!" Gold Jr. said coming from behind the machine with a sense of pride in his voice. Gold couldn't help but smile at the clones holding hands, no matter how gay it looked.
"Let's go kick some ass!" Gold shouted.
MEANWHILE...
"EVERYBODY DOWN ON THE GROUND!" Lazy ordered. He and the others were destroying the Pokemon Center. Lazy slammed the pictures down on Nurse Joy's desk. "Have these bitches been here recently?"
"Th-th-they're b-b-b-."
"SPIT IT OUT BITCH!"
"They're behind you!" Lazy turned around to find himself surrounded. Hiro and Highfang to the back of him. Crystal and Meganium to his right. Tit and her Typhlosion to his left. And Silver and Weavile (the evolved form of Sneasel) in front of him.
"Long time no see. Deadbitchsayswhat."
"What?" Crystal asked.
"Bye bitch!" He shot a bullet at her. Silver jumped in front of her and took the shot himself.
"SILVER! Why'd you do that for me?"
"Because... I like you... you hear that Hiro? You have no power over me anymore-AAAUUGHHH!" Silver screamed out of pain.
"I'm gonna get Silver to a hospital. You two hold them off!" Crystal lifted Silver onto Meganium's back and ran away with Weavile following them.
"Hyper Beam!" Hiro ordered. Lazy used protect and then used psychic to blow Highfang into the back wall. Tit and Princess came up behind him to do a Thunderpunch but he used Hydro Pump before they got close.
"That was too easy. Give me a challenge bitches!"
"Try us on for size!" Everyone turned to see Gold, his dad and two midgets who looked like Gold and Silver. "ATTACK MY CLONES! ATTACK!" Gold and Silver Jr. ran up to Lazy. Gold (Jr.) kicked Lazy in the nuts.
"MY ONE BARRELED BAZOOKA!" Lazy screamed. Silver took Shellder off its head and ran off with it.
"Put Shellder back on his head!" Gold ordered.
"Why?"
"Because it changes his personality." Silver did what he was told. Lazy got back up again and yawned.
"Like, oh my God. Where, like am I? I should be like at cheerleading tryouts by, like now."
"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO! HE'S THE MOST AWFUL THING ON EARTH NOW! A VALLEY GIRL!" Gold screamed. "Lazy return..." Gold pulled Lazy back into its pokeball where it hasn't been in for months. But Bruno and Brock were still itching to fight.
How will they fight H.U.M.P.M.E.B.I.T.C.H?
How is Crystal gonna deal with having two guys in love with her?
What is Gold gonna do with the clones?
Why am I asking you this?
To be continued...
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Fiftieth chapter. This story has come a long way from when I started this in May. I start high school next Wednesday so I have to slow down the updates. Read it, love it, review it and come back next Monday.
RTJ.