Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters included in this fan fiction.

Author's Notes: The rest of this story will be told from Sora's point of view.

Pressure

Author: Emilee1

Chapter 2: Fear

They always say never to try anything, even if you're only going to do it just that one time. I never understood exactly what they meant by it, but now I do. It just takes that one time, and it all becomes habit. There are smaller habits, and there are much larger habits. Mine is one of the greater ones, and I'm not sure why I do it. I take the pain that I feel away by causing myself pain. I deserve it… I am such a terrible person. I hate myself! I want to die, but that is selfish to ask for. Why should I end my suffering when I deserve it? I need to suffer. I want to suffer for all of the terrible things I have done. I can't do what they ask of me. I can't save Riku from the darkness, but I can't disappoint Kairi. I don't know what to do anymore.

I haven't been to this place in a while. I thought Traverse Town was gone, but somehow I found it. This cave has so many memories in it. I just wish I could return this lucky charm back to Kairi. This is the place that she gave it to me. Finally, a place where I can be in peace. I started to get a temptation, and I wanted to satisfy it. Then, I pulled out the knife.

"Sora?" I turned quickly, and scrambled to put the knife back in my pocket.

"Yes, Leon?" I asked trying to act as if nothing was wrong.

"What are you doing here?" Leon asked me curiously.

I put my hand behind my head and replied, "Just relaxing."

He looked at me strangely and said, "This seems like an awful odd place to relax. It's kind of cold and dreary, don't you think?"

"I just like the peace and quiet. It gives me time to think everything over. I get to think about Kairi and Riku, and what we used to do together back at Destiny Islands."

The temptation began to grow, and I tried my best to hide it from Leon. I couldn't stay still, and I think that he started to notice a change in my behavior.

"Are you okay?" he asked me cocking his eyebrow to the side. "You're not acting yourself."

"I'm just fine," I replied smiling, but my smile quickly faded when I saw the look on his face.

"What is in your pocket?" he asked sternly.

I was quick to reply, "Nothing at all."

"You were trying to hide something earlier. I know you were. What is it?" He took a step closer to me which made me step back a step.

"Sora! What are you hiding damnit?!" He yelled reaching for my pocket.

I quickly pushed him away and stepped back again. "There is nothing there. Nothing is wrong with me! You just don't understand anything!"

"You havn't been acting yourself lately. You've been going places to 'be alone' almost every day, and you come back shaky as a leaf. I know that something is not right with you." He looked at me strangely again. Then he looked to my arm.

I was hiding it behind my right arm trying to conceal the deep cuts.

"Sora?" he had a sincere look this time, but curiosity took over him. "Let me see your arm."

I looked at him. I could feel the anger burning in my heart. "Why?"

"Just let me see." Once again, he stepped closer until I was backed up against the wall. I looked to my left. The passage to get to the wizard's house was blocked, and then I looked to my right. Water… Deep, dark water… I could end it there. Leon wouldn't be able to find me, so he couldn't save me either. It is winter time so the water is freezing cold. That's my plan.

I nodded my head and said, "All right. I will show you." I started to roll up my sleeve. When he was watching intently, I ran as fast as I could into the water. I jumped in and swam to the murky depths.

"Sora!" I heard Leon calling out to me and then I heard him jumping in also. He couldn't find me. It was too dark. I felt my lungs hurting as they expanded only taking in water. It was cold… extremely cold, and my body was fighting against me. I could feel my heart rate slowing as everything started to become blurry. I fought to keep my eyes open, but the pain of being starved of oxygen overwhelmed me. I was scared, scared of death. I wanted to die, but fear took over me. I blew my last few ounces of air, and I saw a dark figure in front of me. Then, everything became black.

Author's Notes: I know it's a cliffhanger. Does he live or die? You'll get to find out in the next chapter.