Chapter 61
Gold
Cyndaquil-Pyro LV: 100
Poliwrath-Hell Frog LV: 35
Slowking-Lazy LV: 70
Pidgeot-Whirlwind: 36
Donphan-Trunks LV: 40
Snorlax-Lummox LV: 41
Ampharos-Sparks LV: 39
Sunflora-Sprout LV: 39
Alakazam-Kazam LV: 47
Hiro
Feraligatr-Highfang LV: 32
Skarmory-Armor LV: 30
Muk-Stench LV: 38
Victreebel-Victor LV: 30
Magmar-Inferno LV: 30
Rhydon (Insert nickname) LV: 42
Crystal
Meganium (Blue) LV: 40
Blissey LV: 35
Sudowoodo LV: 40
Jynx LV: 30
Dragonair LV: 32
Copper
Fears-Fearow LV: 32
Quagsire-Whoopi LV: 31
Arcanine-Flares LV: 30
Machamp-Champion LV: 37
Heracross-Big Pickle LV: 35
Red Gyarados LV: 50
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"No way dude! Everyone knows that I'm the best trainer." Gold and Copper were presently traveling through Viridian Forest. They were arguing over who was the strongest trainer in the world was. Gold insisted that he was the best while Copper kept saying that was Lance.
"Nigga please! You don't hold a candle to Lance."
"Lance has his dragons but I have the world's strongest Cynda- What'd you just call me?"
"Nothing... Lance would totally pwn joo with his uber dragon$!!!1!one!!1"
"Stop talking in g33k! Lance lost to my dad and I beat dad which makes me the best. And not only that, I'm the Champion of Johto and I've saved the world three times in less then one and a half years. I kick ass!"
"At least Lance has skills! You won all your battles on extreme dumb luck!"
"No I didn't!"
"Yes you did!"
"NO I DON'T! I'll prove it! You!" Gold singled out a random bug catcher. "I challenge you to a match!" The bug catcher accepted and released his Beedrill. Before Gold even tossed out a pokemon, a random lightning bolt hit the tree behind the Beedrill. The tree fell on top of Beedrill and SQUASHED it.
"BEEDRILL! OH MY GOD!"
"Haha! I OWNED YOU!" Gold taunted. "You play like a little bitch!" Gold then walked away with complacent satisfaction.
"DUDE! WHAT THE HELL?! MY MOTHERFUCKING BEEDRILL IS DYING! CALL A FREAKING NURSE JOY OR SOMETHING!"
"Um... I wish I could help you but um... I think my Mommy is calling me- See ya!" Copper ran after Gold. When he caught up with him they resumed their argument. "You didn't really beat that guy."
"How so?"
"You didn't even use a pokemon! You won because a lightning bolt struck on an un-cloudy day." Before Gold could answer back they had reached the end of the Viridian Forest.
"What the hell? What happened to the rest of the forest?" A random hippie came up to Gold and Copper.
"I'll like tell you what happened to the forest. The man keeps cutting down the trees to build housing. Thus the decrease in length of the forest."
"Uh... is that bad?" Gold asked.
"Don't get involved with this guy Gold. Don't you remember what happened in Olivine?" Copper warned. Gold was already engaged in a heated argument with the hippie about how cutting trees causes global warming.
"Without trees we don't get air to breathe. And we need that extra oxygen because automobiles are cutting down the ozone layer. Damn the United States and Henry Ford!"
"Whoah, whoah, whoah! I'm officially pissed off now! How could you say that about the U.S? Technically that place isn't supposed to exist in the pokemon world!"
"It is a common fact that the United States produces 22 percent of the carbon dioxide, methane and other harmful gases in our atmosphere."
"Okay. Speech time. You say the U.S is the cause of global warming. What you neglect to tell me is that places like China and the Middle East make as much or more greenhouse gases then the U.S. You also blamed Henry Ford, the inventor of the car." Gold's voice suddenly got intense. The hippie was reading all of his facts off a pamphlet while Gold seemed to know all of them already and more.
"Let's pretend he didn't make the car. That isn't stopping some other guy from making the car! It's called natural selection bitch! And another thing. Carbon dioxide is what we breathe out. Methane is what we fart. So what you're telling me to do is to stop breathing so I could save the world while I die of lack of oxygen? Or spontaneously combust from lack of farting?"
"I-uh-well-you see..." The poor hippie had no way to answer back.
"Listen you little bitch! All major scientists on this topic say that Global Warming won't be an extreme problem until a hundred years from now. And the last time I checked, no one has ever lived to a hundred fifty so when I die Global Warming won't be a problem! So until then I'll breathe," he said taking a sharp intake of breath, "and fart all I want!" He bent over and farted right in the guy's face and then walked away towards Viridian City.
"You just got served at your own guilt trap bitch!" Copper teased at the poor man. Now that their little Global Warming episode is over let's check in on Silver. Shall we?
STORY CHANGE: Silver Ice
"Since Brock refused to tell me where she is after he got his Latin chick, you're the only one who could possibly know where she is," Silver told Blue of Viridian Gym. Blue was completely un-interested with what he had to say so while Silver was talking he was picking his nose. He stopped mining for gold up there and confronted Silver.
"What's in it for me?" Silver snapped his fingers and the three white chicks from before walked out of Blue's closet. This was weird because Blue didn't own a closet... "Where the hell did they come from?"
"Nowhere important. Now will you tell me?" Blue groaned and rubbed the back of his head.
"Did you have to get white chicks?" Blue complained. "I prefer black chicks better."
"WHAT!? How come no one likes white chicks anymore?"
"White chicks are okay... but they just don't have that BF..."
"What's BF?"
"Booty Factor. It's a well known fact that white people are the only race whose ass doesn't jiggle. And yet for some reason they make up 75 percent of gay people..." Silver had lost his patience and had started strangling Blue.
"I don't have time for your Caucasian statistics! Tell me where Green is right now or I'll make sure you never hump a big succulent jiggly ass ever again!" Blue pushed Silver off of him to catch his breath.
"Fine. She's on Mt. Silver. Now get out of my gym!" Gold and Copper had barged through the front door again.
"SILVER YOU LITTLE BITCH! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME AND CRYSTAL!" Gold shouted and rushed towards Silver.