Part 10- '…The not so humble proposal…'

It's strange, and perhaps rather sadistic, how fate contrives to bring together two people in the same equation, exactly at that inopportune moment when they hold such polar opposite views of each other.

At the moment Lizzy was re-reading Jane's letters and renewing her hate against Mr Darcy, he was at the same time pacing in his stately room at Rosings, vainly trying to work out exactly what was to be done.

A few short, sharp shots of scotch later and he felt he was able to take on the world, or at least tell Miss Bennet exactly how he felt about her, which to him pretty much amounted to the same thing.

Consequently, when he had worked up enough Dutch courage to eventually knock on her door, they had very different ideas as to how the conversation would go.

'Mr Darcy…!' she exclaimed as she opened the door. She stood holding it ajar for a while, but as it soon became clear he was not going anywhere, she muttered, 'Fine,' under her breath and moved aside to let him in.

There was no other man in the world she would have liked less to have in her room, and hurriedly putting away the letters, she sat down at the table, determined not to say a word.

Darcy seemed in no hurry to talk either; he paced up and down the length of the room, carefully avoiding looking at her bed and often staring at nothing more than the ground.

Lizzy sighed; no doubt this was going to prove another one of their illuminating conversations, she thought. She watched him curiously and was about to rejoice when it appeared he was about to leave without saying a word, but he turned around to face her.

'Harry told me you were unwell…I came to see how you were…' Lizzy had hurried off the set after filming her scene that morning; Roberts's words about Jane, Bingley and Darcy had sent her head spinning and aching.

Lizzy's reply was deliberately stern and quiet, 'I'm fine. It's only a headache.'

Darcy seemed distracted. 'Good I'm glad…that it's only a headache…'

'Yes, it'll soon pass…' She despaired as he began to pace again. He approached her a few times as if to say something…but no, he would only begin pacing again.

He headed once more towards the door and this time he was actually turning the handle, when he turned back with a determined look on his face.

'I can't do it...' he began, '…I can't fight it anymore…I have to tell you that I…I admire, and…and I love you…'

There, it was out.

Lizzy was shocked. She blushed a thousand shades of red and was silent. He took that to be by no means a discouraging sign.

'I know by stating something so wholly incomprehensible I'll be opening myself up to all sorts of speculation, gossip and ridicule…' he laughed, 'I mean who falls in love with their co-star, it's so corny and clichéd…the papers are going to have a field day…not to mention what my family will say and think…' He seemed to reflect on that for a moment, before barrelling on.

'But I've struggled against it and failed, so against my better judgement…against sense and reason…I have to ask you to end my suffering and agree to…marry me!'

Lizzy was shocked, but never wavering in her reply, she answered him as calmly as she could possibly manage. 'I suppose I should thank you…but I can't. I've never desired or cared for your good opinion and you've certainly offered it most unwillingly…I'm sorry if you've been misled, but I'm sure the feelings you've described will soon pass, given the scruples you've had in declaring them in the first place…'

She saw his expression change as he heard her carefully worded reply; he turned first red and then an ill-looking pale shade. He was having trouble forming words, and Lizzy quickly discerned that he had been expecting an entirely different reply. However much he may have wished to appear the cautious courtier, Lizzy was sure he had anticipated her reply to be much more positive.

He spoke at last, 'And that's your answer, is it…? I should wonder at your lack of civility, but then again I really shouldn't expect better… given your background…'

He was clearly angry and hurt; he wished her to feel some of it, too.

'Civility…?' Lizzy exclaimed incredulity, '…you want to talk about civility? I suppose it was 'civil' of you to tell me that you loved me against your better judgement, against reason and sense…Wouldn't that be an excuse, if I was uncivil...?' She was practically shouting at him now, breathless, angry and passionate.

'But there are other reasons for my objections, and 'uncivil' words, you know there are…Even if I did like you, enough to marry you, do you think any temptation would allow me to accept the one man who has probably ruined the happiness of a much-loved sister…?'

She saw him stare wide-eyed at this. 'I know what you did, how you worked to separate Jane and Bingley…you cannot deny it…'

Darcy grew calm again, and to her infuriation Lizzy thought she saw him smile ruefully. 'I have no wish to deny it…I did everything humanly possible to part them…and I'm glad I did…I ought to have been as kind to myself…'

Lizzy wanted to slap him. 'And long before this…even if this had never happened, I know exactly what you are…I heard it all from Mr Wickham!'

Darcy hurried up to her in a few sudden steps; she retreated, suddenly afraid of him. He glared at her. 'Oh, and the well being of that man is of the utmost importance to you…'

Lizzy refused to be intimidated. 'What you did to him, ensuring his current state of poverty… why wouldn't it be, to anyone with an ounce of compassion and humanity…which are exactly the things you are devoid of…'

He offered no reply to the accusation, and instead passed a hand over his face. 'Finally, it's all out, exactly what you think of me…Well, according to you, my character is greatly flawed; thank you for your very thorough explanation.

'But perhaps there would not have been much fault to find had I hidden my reservations about you and a connection with your family. I'm not about to make any apologies for what I said. I don't lie, Miss Bennet. You couldn't expect me to be happy and overjoyed at the prospective connection with a family of nothing more than bit-part actors…!'

Now it was Lizzy's turn to rush up to him she stood only inches away from him; she had done away with trying to contain her anger. 'You're wrong…completely wrong if you think that the way you have declared yourself has affected me in any other way than simply to spare me any feelings of compassion or pity I might have felt had you been more kindly and gentlemanly in your choice of words.'

He seemed amazed at her anger and listened, dumbfounded.

'From the moment I overheard your conversation, when I rightly slapped you in reply, and then onwards, I have not thought of you except as being the most arrogant, conceited and cruel man I have ever had the displeasure and misfortune to meet. I had not known you a month before I felt you were the last man in the world I would ever marry…and it was even sooner than that when I realised I hated you….!'

Darcy appeared horrified at the idea, and refused to believe her. He shook his head vigorously. 'No…no, this year we've spent together filming, I watched you…I looked in your eyes, there was something there…You're not that good an actress…'

She smiled at him cruelly, 'And how would you know? Believe me, the only thing you could have seen was my disgust….!'

She saw him reel at this, and Lizzy briefly thought she may have been too harsh, but it was said and the words could not be taken back, nor did Lizzy wish to take them back. He turned on his heel and left without another word. Lizzy heard the heavy slam of the entrance door behind him.

Lizzy, amazed and shocked at what had just passed, collapsed in the chair, exhausted.