Digital Revelation

Chapter 17 – Fuuma Makes a Choice

Kamui woke up at dawn, his alarm clock rousing him from a charging session. The first thing he became aware of was the arm around his waist. Propping himself up slowly, he looked down into Fuuma's sleeping face. The worry creases in the boy's brow had smoothed out; he hadn't a clue what Fuuma had worried over last night, but if his owner was upset, that naturally passed to Kamui. Something in him hurt to see Fuuma like that. He wanted to take those bad feelings away. He wanted to protect Fuuma so he wouldn't have to feel that way.

He sat up more fully and froze as Fuuma shifted, sensing the change in position. His eyes were drawn to the boy's lips as they parted, releasing a soft sigh. Kamui tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear as he leaned down, wondering how those lips would feel against his own. Only inches away, his heart fluttered in his chest, his mind bringing up an image of a trapped moth in a jar.

"Kamui?"

The voice, not more than a murmur, killed that little moth in the jar. Horrified, he pulled back to see Fuuma watching him with an expression he'd never seen before. Covering his own mouth, he scrambled to get out of bed, stammering something about breakfast before bolting from the room.

At the foot of the stairs, he leaned against the wall and groaned. What had he been thinking! Fuuma was his owner, his master. There had to be rules against that sort of thing.

Not to mention that he wasn't even human.

And Fuuma had seen what he'd almost done. As the heat rushed back to his cheeks at the memory, he wondered if that hadn't been the worst part. Whatever he felt for Fuuma could've been hidden in little gestures. He could've been happy being at the peripheral, being supportive and not rocking any boats. How was he going to fix this?

As he moved into the kitchen to begin the preparations for breakfast, a small voice in the back of his thoughts still wondered what it would have been like, to kiss the person he—

The person he loved.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Lunch hour found Fuuma at the furthest end of the soccer field, kicking a ball idly into the net. The kicks alternated from half-hearted passes to full-on drives that threatened to put a hole in the net. Sorata happened to approach on one of those shots, and he was rightfully intimidated. He'd been extra careful to avoid the older Monou sibling, though his first instinct had been – and still was – to punch him in the jaw for the grief he'd put his sister through. But Kotori had begged him not to, and so he'd kept his distance. Both members of the couple had. But Kotori was becoming concerned, and having watched him for a half day, Sorata could see why. Whatever worries they'd had over his preoccupation with the family persocon, it wasn't Fuuma's nature to be so sullen and withdrawn.

Sorata considered Fuuma to be a friend. And he'd do anything short of giving Kotori up to repair that friendship.

"Yo, Monou."

The other boy paused, his foot ready to strike the ball. "Arisugawa."

It's an answer, at least. Sorata risked coming closer. "What'cha up to?"

Fuuma slid him a fairly condescending glance, and Sorata forced a laugh. "I mean, besides imagining that ball's my face."

He watched Fuuma consider the ball under his foot, then tap it away. For the first time in days, he met the Kansai boy's eye. "It wasn't your face this time."

"Consider me relieved." He stuck his hand out to Fuuma, who simply raised an eyebrow. "She's your sister, and my girlfriend," Sorata declared with a wry smile. "I don't think either of us is going to bend on that. So... truce? I kinda miss my lunch partner."

More than a minute passed before Fuuma accepted the hand. "You hurt her in any way, Arisugawa," he said, his gaze burning into Sorata's. "And I'll be kicking something besides soccer balls."

Laughing, he pulled Fuuma in for a quick hug and a clap on the back. "Man, if I hurt her, I'll let you." He grinned at the other boy and felt a bit of his tension ebb as Fuuma grudgingly smiled back. "C'mon, it's freezing out here. Let's get some lunch. My treat to my future brother-in-law."

"What?"

Sorata sprinted back to the school, laughing all the way with Fuuma on his heels.

As they left the cafeteria, Sorata tossed Fuuma one of the cellophane-wrapped curry breads he'd bought. He let Fuuma choose the spot and was a bit surprised when he led them into an empty classroom. Sorata sat down on one of the tabletops and unwrapped his serving. "Something on your mind, Monou?"

Fuuma's lunch remained unopened on the desk as the other boy stood by the window and watched the students in the yard. "Are you sure you want to hear it?"

Frowning, Sorata bit into his bread. "'Course," he said around a mouthful of food. "Why wouldn't I?"

Fuuma shot him a wary glance. "It's persocon related."

Sorata felt his eye begin to develop a tic upon hearing that. Really, they had to get the guy a girlfriend. This obsession with Kamui was becoming ridiculous. "I'm making all kinds of judgments, but I'm listening."

Rolling his eyes, Fuuma returned to the desk and sat on the back of the chair. "Do you think persocon can feel?"

Sorata swallowed his food before answering. "You mean real feelings? Nah, they're just working off a program." He rolled the wrapper between his hands, pitching the ball into the trashcan before starting in on his second piece. "I mean, I dig 'nee-chan, and she likes me back, but she's supposed to."

"Oh," Fuuma said, his expression pensive. "But what if they could? I mean, would it be okay to return it then?"

His bread made it halfway to his mouth before he put it down, just staring at him. "Monou, what are you talking about?"

Fuuma glanced away, focusing on the window with a heavy sigh. "I have no idea."

"You're not sayin' you're falling for Kamui, are you?" Sorata felt his face twist in a bit of a grimace. He knew his tone wasn't exactly accepting, but he had warned the other boy he was already making judgments. But he almost didn't want to hear the answer. He wondered if Kotori had any inkling how deeply messed up her brother was.

"…. I don't know."

Okay, now was a good time to start with a little panic. He moved to stand right in front of the other boy, blocking his view of the window. "Monou, he's a persocon. Beyond that, he's also a guy." The point didn't seem to make much of an impression on Fuuma. "I know he's kinda cute and girly-lookin', but since when do you swing that way?"

That got a reaction. Frowning, Fuuma stood, pacing a bit. "I don't… at least… I don't think so… Kamui's just… different." The other boy sighed heavily, the frustration clear. "And I think he's in love with me."

Of all the... be nice Sora-chan. He's never owned a persocon before. "'Course he is!" He exclaimed, throwing up his hands. Honestly, he was a bit relieved. If that was all it was, the confusion could be cleared up easily. "He's supposed to be; that's part of the programming."

A few emotions flickered across Fuuma's face, one of them looked a lot like hurt. "It is?"

Calming down, Sorata sat down, toying with his food. "Yeah. Makes it easier for them to serve and stuff. There were a bunch of studies done."

"Oh."

Hoping to reassure Fuuma, he smiled. "So yeah, it's okay that he's in love with you, 'cause you're his owner." A huge bite into his curry bread served to punctuate his words. "But you don't have to fall for him. You're allowed to tell him no."

The other boy still didn't seem convinced. "But, won't that hurt him?"

It was Sorata's turn to roll his eyes. What part of "no emotions" failed to get through to him? Though, in hindsight, Kamui did seem to have better feeling-imitators than most. To compromise, he shrugged. "Might, but he's your persocon. It's not like he's gonna flip out and kill you."

Had the discussion not been somewhat serious, the expression of pure surprise on his friend's face would've made Sorata laugh. As if the idea had never crossed his mind. He set his bread aside and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. "Basically, you just have to remember: there are things persocon can do, and there are things they can't do. Just like there are things people can and can't do. Everyone has their strengths, and their purposes."

Fuuma continued to stare at him, then raised an eyebrow. "That's remarkably profound, coming from you." He ducked the ball of plastic wrap that came flying his way. "Thanks for the advice, Arisugawa."

"No problem."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The day's final bell came as a release for the students and teachers; all across the school, sighs of relief and the scraping of chair feet on linoleum echoed from crowded classrooms. Fuuma filed his papers carefully into his schoolbag and stretched. "Arisugawa, you want to grab something to eat?"

The Kansai boy looked surprised and pleased by the invite. "Sure, sounds good." He slung his bag over his shoulder and briefly consulted with Arashi to see if he had any messages. "Want to swing by and pick up your persocon on the way?"

Now it was Fuuma's turn to be taken off guard by the offer. He'd had the distinct impression from their earlier conversation that Sorata didn't like Kamui, or at the very least, he didn't approve of the attention Fuuma gave him. But, given that they each had something to hold over the other's head, perhaps a truce was best. "Deal. I want to pick up a plant for Kotori or something anyway."

"Peace offering?"

Fuuma nodded. "Something like that."

Sorata thumped him on the back and headed out of the classroom. "She likes pink flowers."

"I know that!"

The trip to Earth's Gifts passed quickly, helped along by banter and insult competitions. The pattern was easy to slip into, and Fuuma had missed it. At the moment, he was even grateful for the familiarity, as it kept him from thinking too closely about the bizarre quality of the last forty-eight hours. Beginning with a kidnapping and ending with an almost-kiss, he was starting to wonder if he wasn't experiencing an extremely realistic dream. These things didn't happen to normal people.

Though to tell the truth... he was wondering just how normal he was. Sorata's advice did little to make him forget the way Kamui had looked that morning, hovering over him in all his completely innocent sensuality. At the time, he had been sorely disappointed in himself for saying anything. Fortunately for them both, he had, putting them at a safe distance.

He needed to do something about it, once and for all. He just didn't know what.

"Welcome!"

Their arrival in the shop was greeted by a cheerful voice. Fuuma waved to Kusanagi-san, who immediately called for Kamui. The persocon crept out from the back room, looking like a child among a group of adult strangers; hopelessly shy. Kamui's discomfort only seemed to increase when Fuuma smiled at him; he looked down at the floor and refused to make any sort of eye contact. Fuuma pretended not to notice. "Hey, Kamui. Want to help me pick out something for Kotori?"

Eventually, Fuuma and Sorata chose a pot of bright pink amaryllis flowers without any help from the persocon. Neither boy chose to comment on Kamui's unusual mood; Fuuma because he knew exactly why, and Sorata because he didn't care. The subdued personality was undoubtedly a relief for the Kansai boy, Fuuma reflected. It certainly did make Kamui easier to ignore. Kusanagi bid them all a nice rest of their day, and they tromped out onto the busy sidewalk with Kotori's flowers in a bag. The two boys chatted on the way to the coffee shop, every so often glancing at the sky. Dark clouds were forming over the crisp winter blue. Looked like snow or rain, but both would've preferred snow. Halfway along the narrow street, Fuuma glanced back to find Kamui several feet behind them, staring at something in a store window. Retracing his steps, he came to stand beside the persocon. "What're you looking at?"

Kamui startled and shook his head. "Nothing special," he said hurriedly. "Kamui not want."

Fuuma glanced into the garland-bedecked window. The display showed a simple winter scene, with several couples skating on a pond. All of the little people – all human, all girl-boy couples – were holding hands. Kamui's word choice, even though he was sure the little persocon had been trying to lie to him, made Fuuma understand. The taller boy ruffled Kamui's hair awkwardly. "Maybe someday I'll have enough to get another persocon, and you can have a girlfriend. Okay?"

He regretted the attempt at comfort the instant Kamui looked at him. Not for the first time, he weighed Sorata's advice against what Nokoru told him and the idea that Kamui's feelings were simply a program was hard to swallow. Hurt and disbelief warred over the finely crafted features, both eventually losing to determination. "No!" Kamui stepped closer, ungloved fingers clenching the sleeve of Fuuma's coat. "Not okay! Kamui want only Fuuma.

"Kamui loves only Fuuma."

Fuuma felt the blood drain from his face. He'd suspected and Sorata had told him that it was possible, but to actually hear that kind of declaration was not something he could've prepared for. Only this morning had he gotten an inkling of what Kamui thought about him. He didn't know what to say.

It was supposed to be this way, Sorata had said. He didn't have to return it.

Fuuma looked down at Kamui and attempted a smile. "I know, Kamui." Let him down gently. He would be considerate of the persocon's feelings, program or no. "I like you very much, too. But I don't feel the same way."

The fingers uncurled from his coat as the hands dropped to their owners' side. Kamui stepped back from him, shaking his head. "Not true," he murmured quietly, face pinching as if he truly were in pain. "Fuuma make joke?"

"No," Fuuma replied gently. "I'm not."

The little persocon swayed on his feet and closed his eyes. Concerned he might fall, Fuuma slid an arm around his shoulders. At his touch, Kamui looked up at him with a cruel smile.

"I knew you'd make the wrong choice."