Janela once again wakes up in a cold sweat the memories continue haunting him. He lays back down trying desperately to fall back asleep. But the memories were replaying in him mind and he swings his legs off the bed. He switches on the light rubbing his hands across his face. He reaches for his phone, it was dead. He groans in frustration too lazy to plug it in and not fully in the mindset to care at the moment.
He reaches into the drawer grabbing the carton of cigarettes and lighter. He looks at the cigarette lighting it. He stares at the cigarette watching it burn all the while her voice echoing in his mind, worthless, weak, pathetic, a joke. He really was intending on smoking it but he was feeling that urge, that scratch, that release.
Usually that comes with wrestling but now that he isn't doing as many hardcore matches he doesn't get his fill. The first burn is on his wrist, he groans gripping the bed, and it had been a while since he had properly done this himself.
He looks over at the hotel room phone remembering his promise to the two men but it was too late now. The itch had started and it wasn't going to stop. Why bother? What's done is done.
Kip knew something wasn't right straight off from the moment they arrived at the arena. Joey was avoiding them and Jimmy was oblivious as usual. So here Kip was watching his boyfriends match. Jimmy comes up behind him chuckling softly.
"Don't even say anything." Kip says.
"Oh, come on, Kippy. Fucking braids." Jimmy says.
"Not the reason why I'm watching." Kip says sighing getting closer to the screen when it zooms in on Joey.
"What the fuck?" Jimmy says angrily. Kip blinks looking closer. "His chest and shoulders, Simon. Those weren't there last night." Jimmy says pointing to the burns visible on his chest and shoulders.
"God fucking Dammit, Joseph!" Kip shouts banging the table making the others in the area look at him. "He was supposed to call us! He's supposed to call us!"
"Sometimes it happens." Jimmy says putting his hand on Kip's shoulder. Kip just nods, he knew Jimmy struggled with the same thing and knew more than him.
"When he gets backstage, you grab him, straight away. That way he can't avoid us any longer." Kip says. Kip laughs when he looks up to see Jimmy looking at him confused. "You can't really have missed that right?"
"I just thought maybe he was nervous or just getting ready for tonight? I mean things have to go perfectly in the first match for them to debut." Jimmy says. Kip shrugs, it was plausible.
"Alright, go." Kip says. Jimmy turns around to go wait for Joey. Kip standing waiting for them to make their way to the backstage area. That's when he spots her walking towards him. He didn't fully know how he was capable of keeping it professional with her but it is what he needed to do.
"Hey, Kip. I was wondering if maybe we could talk about the match tonight?" Penelope asks.
"Maybe later on? Like right before?" Kip asks. "It'll be just an easy finish like usual anyways."
"Yeah, but I'd like to know what I'm going to be doing." Penelope says.
"You will, just later. Okay?" Kip says looking past her to see Jimmy leading a very reluctant Joey back with him.
"Joseph Jerry Janela, you are coming with me." Jimmy says. Joey gulps looking at Jimmy. "Yeah, we know." Penelope starts to come over, Kip following closely behind.
"Are you okay?" Penelope asks. Joey instantly tenses and almost cowers. Kip could see the small smirk forming on Penelope's face.
"Do you care?" Jimmy asks.
"I was just asking, since he just had a match." Penelope says. She reaches out to touch him, Kip stopping her. "I still care about you. I can take a lot better care of you then they can. They don't know how to deal with a bad boy like you." By this point Joey starts to shake and that small smirk turned into a full one.
"Leave, you've done enough!" Kip shouts grabbing Joey's hand pulling him away from her and the situation. Kip stops in front of the locker room pushing Joey back toward the wall. "I need to know if these are the only ones? Are there more? Did you…did you use more than one method?"
"Just the one…and…yeah…there's more." Joey says.
"Shit." Jimmy says. "We can't go in there. Not after last time. Sonny nearly figured it out and now he definitely will."
"Alright, let me just get our stuff, we'll figure out the rest in a minute." Kip says letting go of Joey's hand. Joey sighs his hand almost instantly in contact with one of the cigarette burns. Jimmy takes hold of his hand standing in front of him.
"Stop, just fucking stop." Jimmy pleads.
"I caused this. Maybe she's right. Maybe I'm just…maybe I've always been destined to be alone. Or hurt." Joey says.
"Yeah, well, what you and her had wasn't love." Jimmy says. "It was control, manipulation, pain, fucking abuse. She didn't love ya. And your dad well, your dad…I don't have anything to say about him." Joey smiles nodding looking up to see Kip dragging their bags out of the room.
"What now?" Joey asks.
"There should be a place somewhere." Kip says.
"I don't want to bother the Buck's." Joey says.
"We might just have to go in the bathroom." Jimmy says. Joey sighs looking down ashamed and embarrassed. Jimmy squeezes his hand tightly to reassure him.
Kip quickly ushers the two inside the bathroom setting their bags on the sink. Before they can do anything the bathroom door opens. Santana, Ortiz and Jericho enter.
"What…what the fuck?" Santana asks laughing. "You get kicked out again, Janela?" Jericho can sense something wasn't right.
"Just…go and do your business boys." Jericho says pushing them towards the stalls.
"I'm sorry, we didn't mean to…" Joey says.
"You can use my locker room. I'm not using it tonight anyways." Jericho says.
"We couldn't…" Kip tries to say.
"Well, it is quite obvious that you need it more than me. All I have is a silly pep rally and the confrontation with Tyson." Jericho says. "I can survive this night without a locker room."
"Thanks." Joey says.
"It's no problem." Jericho says. "Now hurry up." Jimmy grabs their bags and nods to Jericho before leading both men out of the bathroom. They make it to the locker room and shut and lock the door.
"It's big." Jimmy says.
"Are you surprised?" Kip asks. He sighs turning to Joey who has yet again started to pick at the burns on his arms. "Stop. Joey, stop. Can you get undressed so we can see what your legs are like?"
"We can go in another room or something." Jimmy says. Joey shakes his head.
"Just…just turn around." Joey says. They nod turning around allowing Joey to strip his ring gear whimpering in pain as he does so. They must be fresh Kip thought. "You can turn around now."
"Okay, I'm going to find a first aid kit." Kip says.
"Why didn't you call us?" Jimmy asks.
"My phone was dead and I don't have your numbers memorized." Joey says.
"You could have called downstairs to the front desk and gotten our hotel room numbers." Kip says coming over.
"I know…but…by the time I thought of that it was too late and I didn't want you to…I don't know." Joey says.
"You always don't know! Don't you realize just how much this hurts us? That by hurting yourself, you hurt us as well?" Kip asks. Joey looks up at him. "I bloody fucking love you Joey, alright? And I hate seeing you hurt but I hate seeing hurt yourself the most."
"Something must have triggered it." Jimmy says. "You were doing so well."
"Nightmare." Joey says.
"Of…of her or your Dad?" Kip asks opening the first aid kit pulling out everything they need.
"Her." Joey says. "Just those words…kept replaying in my head."
"I think we need to start rooming together." Jimmy says. Kip nods in agreement. "I mean it seems we are staying here for a while."
"Are you saying we should look for an apartment?" Joey asks.
"Or a bigger place. Maybe an Air BNB?" Jimmy suggests.
"It could be like a test. To see if we can stand each other enough to move in together later on." Kip teases. Joey smiles.
"Sounds like a plan to me." Joey says. He blushes looking at the two men. "How the fuck did I get so lucky?"