Chapter Three -Pink Handbags, Mohawks and Dumblebee

Once again, Harry found himself plummeting to the ground. Even though he could probably die he didn't really mind because… well… He knew he wouldn't really die because if he did this story would be pointless and the Authors wouldn't have anything to write. However, Ron, Hermione and the other people that were falling didn't have the supreme intellect to realize this. So they screamed. (And wow, Michelle really hates her writing there)

"WOW! THIS IS FUN!" Draco screamed.

"SHUT UP!" They all barked at him.

Draco whimpered.

"Wow this is taking a long time..."Harry said.

"Yeah how long has it been now?" Hermione asked looking up from her magazine.

"2 days." Ron said checking the time by the sun

"Hey I guess you were right Hermione!" Harry said.

"I was? I mean...I WAS!" She said proud.

"A lot can happen in 3.5 seconds." He said kissing Ginny.

Suddenly Draco called out.
"MY SCARF! It's finished! Finally!"
"How… Nice" Hermione replied.

"Yep" Draco replied, a huge smile on his face.
Harry Gasped (not for breath no) when Bob suddenly flew past them all. But he looked slightly different… HE HAD A MOHAWK!
"BOB?" Harry screamed shocked.

"Yes?" Bob asked checking his green Mohawk in the mirror.

"YOU HAVE FEET!" He screamed.

"Yes... and I also have a MOHAWK!" He shouted.

"Oh yeah..." Harry said
They all splattered onto the ground.

"Owww" Hermione moaned getting up off the ground and rubbing her butt. But Draco yawned, having just woken up. He sat up and stretched and then slowly stood up. When he looked down, he saw Harry, who he had been sitting on flattened into the sand.
"I'm sorry I landed on you!" Draco said obviously not meaning it though.
"No it's not that," Harry said, "You farted in my face!" And with that he dissolved into tears.

SUDDENLY BOB SPLATTERED ON TOP OF HARRY AND FARTED.

"EWWW penguin fart!" He cried.

"I AM NOT A PENGUIN...oh wait..." Bob said.

"So can we have Duncan or what man?" Ron asked looking like a hippy.

"No." He said then walked off.

"WHO WANTS CAKE?"
Everyone started cheering… until Ron cheered a little bit too hard and jumped into the cake.
"Ooops" He said, and then shrugged his shoulders. Everyone else dissolved into tears.
"It never got to be eaten" sobbed Neville.

Bob appeared again and pointed at Neville.

"HA HA YOU LOOK STUPID, CRYING WHAT A BABY!" Bob said laughing.
"Wellllllll" Harry said, appearing. "Your Mohawk looks pretty stupid too!"
Bob started crying.
Draco slapped Harry.

"WHAT YOU DO THAT FOR?" Harry asked crying.

"YOU SAID MEAN THINGS TO BOB!" Draco said going over and hugging the crying penguin.

"DRACO!" Hermione screamed crying.

"I SWEAR IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!" Draco screamed jumping away from bob.

SUDDENLY...Ginny sneezed!

"What am I doing here again?" Neville asked looking at the scary psychotic people.

"We're going to kill you and eat your livers." Bob said hugging Draco.

Neville fainted.

"Got ya didn't I?"
Neville was still lying on the ground unconscious.
"Uhhh Neville you can wake up now" Harry said.
Hermione poked Neville with a stick.
"Uhhh Harry? I think he's… DEAD!"
Everyone looked at Draco.
"Whaaaaaat?" He said. "Don't look at me. It wasn't actually ME this time!"
Hermione suddenly burst into hysterical laughter
"WHATS SO FUNNY!" Ginny demanded.
"Uhhh Nothing…" She replied hiding a smile and the ripped off her disguise to reveal BOB AGAIN!

"THEN WHERES HERMIONE?" Draco asked.

"I'm right here!" Hermione said coming out of the cave with Harry.

"We didn't do anything!" Harry assured Ginny.

"HE WAS CONSOLING ME BECAUSE YOU KISSED A PENGUIN AND CHEATED ON ME." Hermione screamed.

Neville woke up just to hear that last sentence and fainted again.

"I'M SORRY HERMIONE! CANT WE JUST FORGET ABOUT IT!" Draco screamed.

"NO!" She shouted back.

"But THEY'RE kissing!" Draco said pointing to Bob and Neville.

"BOB! HOW COULD YOU?" Bob's girlfriend, Bobetty screamed walking into the scene.
"Uhhh… it was… HIM" Bob screamed pointing at Neville. "He came onto me. I didn't know what to do. (Even though I secretly enjoyed it.) I COULDN'T GET HIM OFF ME!"

"Aww my poor little BobbieWobbiekins," Bobetty Cooed "Did that mean Nevilleweville hurt you? Come here Baby its ok"
Bob nodded and cuddled Bobetty.
"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" Said everyone there...EXCEPT HERMIONE!

She was too busy sulking.

"What's wrong Hermione?" Harry asked.

"HE CHEATED ON ME WITH A CHEATING PENGUIN!" She said.

"Ohhh yeah."

Hermione sunk into the rock.

"HERMIONE? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHE DISAPEARED." Draco said then laughed.

"FINALLY SHE IS GONE, Wait… that's bad!" Harry Cried, "Now we have no nerds to tell us what to do."
Everyone sat down to think, including Bob and Bobetty.
Bob called out "I HAVE A WAY TO GET THE COOKIE BACK!"
Bobetty sighed. "You're meant to keep the cookie AWAY from them!
"Oh Yeahhhhhhhh" Said Bob stupidly.

3.5 seconds later Hermione walked in laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" Bob asked.

"I just had the funniest dream ever. I dreamt that somewhere a psycho evil penguin with a Mohawk stole a cookie, and we had to rescue it!

Everyone laughed and Bob subtly snuck away.

"Hang on..."Ron gave the shifty eyes that were...shifty!

"WHO WANTS FISH?" Harry shouted.

The big stampede of people came and ate the fish.

"That's right...eaaaaat the fish." Dumbledore said coming into view.

"Dumblebee?" Hermione asked with a mouth full of fish eye.

"Hell Miss Granger I trust you have kept up your bushy haired standards by not conditioning?" Dumbledore asked pleasantly.

Hermione ran away and cried.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?" Draco asked throwing the fish intestine at his professor.

"BECAUSE IM REALLY..." Dumbledore pulled off his disguise to reveal "BOB!"...DOING THE MACERENA!

Bob was jumping around shaking his little penguin butt around and everyone else was grossed out, except Draco, who was looking slightly turned on. Hermione was getting very jealous by now so she grabbed some scissors and snuck up on Bob… annnd SNIP... She tried to cut off his Mohawk. But she missed.
"AHHH MY DOODLE!" Bob screamed in agony.
"NOOOOO! NOW HE WILL NEVER HAVE MY BABIES" Bobetty screamed... then she turned around saw Harry, and got an evil smile on her face and her little penguin arms outspread.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Harry screamed and ran away with Bobetty screaming and running after him.

"Odd." Hermione pondered.

"Yes very." Draco replied.

"Yep." Bobetty said.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be getting...THIS?" And Bob held up Duncan...THAT HAD A BITE MARK IN IT!

"OH MY GOD YOU NIBBLED HIM!" Harry screamed and tackled Bob to the ground, which sent Duncan flying through the air and landing in Neville's hand.
"NEVILLE! SAVE DUNCAN! DON'T LET BOB GET HIM!" Harry screamed, but Neville just stood there like a statue and then… RIPPED OFF HIS DISGUISE TO REVEAL BOB!
"But… how the… WHERE DO YOU GET THESE DISGUISES FROM?" Ron asked/screamed at Bob.
"Oh I know this great little shop down in Diagon Alley, they sell all kinds of costumes" Bob said, pulling business cards out of his pink handbag and handing them out to everyone, then running away.