Taking Lives, Deceiving Hearts
Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
Summary: Even he wasn't sure if this was right. Was he really capable of this deception? It was so ironic to him that he had taken so many lives, but he felt guilty. He wasn't taking someone's life, he thought. He was deceiving someone's heart.
Pairing: DMHG
Setting: AU after HBP. Post-Hogwarts.
Genre: Romance/General
Chapter 3: In Silence and In Pain
The way she looked at him so closely…would she see fear in his eyes? What was there to be afraid of? What was it about Hermione Granger that made him feel so intimidated? What was it about her that made him feel so ashamed of who he is?
All of those things that she hated about him. All the things he did that made her so mad. All the things he said that made her look away. He wanted to go back to those days. Because in those days, nothing could hurt him.
He didn't have any chance to be angry at her anymore. He didn't even think of any insults he used to say to her. Was any of that important, still?
She stared right into his eyes. They weren't gray anymore. They were brown, like Weasley's. But they were still cold. Was there any way to change that?
The person these eyes belonged to isn't the person who's looking at you now, Draco thought.
"What's wrong, Ron?" she said again, looking at him, expecting him to answer.
Everything is wrong, he wanted to say. But that wasn't what he was supposed to say. These days, the things he wanted were different from the things he were ordered to do…to say…to feel.
"Nothing…" he said softly, touching her hair reluctantly, making her lips curve upward.
Even his voice was different. But even before that day, everything he said was a lie. What difference does this day make?
"I'm just tired, that's all" he whispered to her reassuringly. He played his part well.
He stood up to go to the bathroom. Pushing the handle down and entering the marbled bathroom, Draco stared at himself in the mirror. He took one of the vials strapped to his waist; hidden. Blood red.
Polyjuice potion no longer had to be taken every hour. It had to be taken every day. The Death Eaters changed a lot of things.
Draco was one of them.
Draco smashed the vial against the sink.
--
Hermione was almost sick with worry. Ron had never acted that way.
If something bothered him, he would tell her. And she knew him so well to know that now something was wrong. What had changed that now he wouldn't tell her?
Did he still love her as much at that moment as he loved her the night before?
Ron entered the room, not taking his eyes off of Hermione. He took her waist and swayed with her for a while, closing his arms around her.
He had never done that before.
And Hermione's heart felt like exploding.
"I'm sorry I was so cold," he whispered.
Hermione stayed silent. Did she have the right to be angry?
But they stayed in that embrace. In that silence.
And Ron said softly, "I wish I knew what you think about when you're that quiet"
She wished she could spend her entire life in that moment.
"I'm sorry," Ron said again.
"It's okay, Ron"
She noticed he looked away when she said his name.
--
He felt cold towards her.
Was this the kind of easy life you've been leading? He wanted to ask.
Was this the way you loved each other?
He hated it so much. Clutching his arm, Draco sat down on the kitchen table and watched her cook breakfast. The dark mark wasn't there. This was Ron's arm. Ron's body. Ron's house. Ron's life.
And this love that Hermione and Ron shared?
He wanted all of it so badly. He wanted someone to love him that way. But he couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to love himself again.
They ate breakfast in silence.
It was a horrible feeling to hold on to the thought of someone loving you in that way. Maybe the thought wasn't so absurd after all. But to Draco, that thought was the best he could do.
"What time did you come home last night?" Hermione asked, "I fell asleep waiting for you"
"I didn't bother to look at the time," he answered, "I told you not to stay up for me" Was that the right thing to say? What would Ron have said?
Hermione looked at him and back at her plate.
All you wanted me to do was wait for you, Hermione thought. And I said I always would.
"Are we going to the Order today?" he asked her casually.
Hermione frowned.
"Are you sure that you're feeling okay, Ron?" asked Hermione again.
"Yes, I'm quite sure. How come?"
"The Order doesn't exist anymore…"
--
A/N: Won't update till I have 20 reviews! I really wanna know if you're still interested because I'd be wasting my time if no one read it:P Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed!