DISCLAIMER: The character's and the universe of the Battlestar Galactica do not belong to me.

AMMONITE thank you for pointing out mistakes in the previous chapter - I checked and corrected them. And thank you for being my BETA in this one.
Also, thanks everyone for reviewing!

>>

YEAR OF HELL by -yannik-

Chapter Two - DAY BY DAY

>>

President Roslin won the election. Then she lost it. There was something odd about it, but neither she nor the Admiral said a word. Lee knew his father well enough though, to realize that the old man was in turmoil. He left his son out of it again, but this time – surprisingly – it didn't matter. Not many things mattered.

President Baltar was sworn in, the order to start settling on New Caprica was given and followed, Cloud Nine was nuked. Late at night, sitting alone in silence in his quarters Lee wondered if Siobhan and Paya still lived there. He said a quick prayer to Hades to grant them safe passage, just in case. He'd never been religious, but it somehow seemed like the right thing to do.

Civilians started moving down to the planet. The Admiral assigned most of the pilots to the raptors and shuttles; some ships that were capable of landing on the surface were grounded. About ten thousand people – one fourth of the entire population – were in this first wave of settlers.

Pilots wanted to go planetside as well. Lee – the Commander – was well aware of that, but wasn't aware to what extent, until one day he overheard Stinger and Thumper talking in the gym.

"I wouldn't hesitate a heartbeat, if I was given a chance" Stinger grunted when they entered; Lee was on his back bench pressing. He had no idea what the pilots were talking about and he didn't intend to listen.

But the twosome chose to sit on the stationary bikes that stood nearby. They still hadn't recognized their Commander.

"I thought you were devoted to your job" Thumper teased. "Like: Stinger would be the last person to ever leave the Pegasus."

"You got it wrong, Steve." Stinger stopped talking. Silence got heavy, but finally he broke it. "You know when was the last time I set foot on a solid ground? It was nearly two years. I was about to have a week of vacation in a month… my first vacation in a year… When the cylons attacked. And now, here we are, orbiting a planet; people are moving to live there, and I can't. Because I am a fraking CAG! Because we are chosen to protect those fraking civies, who get to have a life! Frak!" Stinger smacked the handle-bar so hard, he hissed from pain.

"Did you break something?"

"Wish I did. I might be declared unfit for active duty… Hey man" he suddenly called. "You need a hand with that?" Lee realized his CAG was calling him, apparently having just noticed he could use a spotter. His right arm was slowly refusing to cooperate from exertion, and it was about time to end the exercise.

"No, thanks" he replied, putting the bar on it's holder and sitting up, facing the two pilots. He nodded politely towards them, and they shot a sharp salute, recognizing him. This was awkward. Lee knew they were both racing through their minds, trying to remember what exactly each of them said, and he could tell them nothing wrong or disrespectful had been mentioned. Instead he just got up and left. Let them continue their conversation.

He knew exactly where Stinger was coming from with his bitterness and anger. He, himself, had had barely two weeks of service onboard Atlantia when he had arrived at Galactica's decommissioning ceremony. He had already transferred to Colonial Fleet Reserves, but had needed to serve those couple of weeks due to some previous vacations and off days. He had been about to start his road out of military. And now here he was – commanding a battlestar.

He had a shower and changed into a uniform before his meeting with Major Balder. They were discussing engine repairs – Pegasus was still not one hundred percent after the Battle of Binary Star System – when she noticed his mind-absence. He decided to tell her what he heard in the gym.

"And that surprises you?" she asked incredulously. "Those people suffered a lot. We've been through Hades, all alone, devoid of hope. They are all on the verge. All of them."

Lee gazed at her. Riana Balder was not an emotional person – she was collected and rational. But in her words he heard passion. Compassion. For her men. And there was pain in her eyes.

"We've all been through a lot" he replied softly.

"You can't compare the Fleet's situation, Galactica's situation, to the one we've had on Pegasus" she retorted angrily. "You had forty thousand people, you had a purpose, a plan for the future: Earth. All we've had was a suicide mission to kill as many cylons as we could, before getting killed ourselves!"

"They are your family aren't they?" Lee noticed thoughtfully. "Pegasus is a family just as much as Galactica is."

"You thought we wouldn't be?" her expression softened a little.

"And you're trying to protect them from me?"

Riana fell silent, and just watched him for a moment, trying to find the right response. She was honest, he valued that. She would not feed him with bullshit, especially on a matter as important as this.

"I guess I was" she admitted. "I guess you're still an outsider here. And I do hope that will change." She was sincere. Lee nodded, showing his appreciation.

"What else can't be repaired in the near future?" he asked, returning to the subject.

"We didn't manage to restore all the programming in the flight simulators."

"Does it mean we'll not be training nuggets? We may not need to, given the sudden peace from the cylons, but it would be better to be prepared." Lee hated being a bad prophet, but he couldn't bring himself to trust this sudden change in cylon politics.

"I think it won't be that bad" Riana shrugged. "We need those training courses, but we can slow down, that's true. Hey, Starbuck managed to train nuggets without any simulators at all."

Lee winced inwardly at the mention of his former friend. He did not even realize he missed her.

"She's Galactica's CAG now" he sighed. "We can't ask her to come here for the classes and then do her job over there…"

"Commander!" Riana chuckled. "We don't need Starbuck here – Showboat is a pretty good teacher too. What I meant is that if one person managed, others can too."

"Ah" Lee replied, caught off guard. He did value Starbuck more than anyone else, that was true. He did think of her as irreplaceable.

"Do you see now, what I mean by you being an outsider?" the XO asked softly, sympathetically. "You still consider Galactica's people as your people. You still think higher of them than of those who now serve under you, and to whom you should be like a father."

Lee sighed again. She had a point, of course. Pretending she was mistaken was not good. Saying that he couldn't be a good father served no purpose either. Maybe he did not have a good example of a father in his life, but he sure had a perfect example of a good military Commander. He had to try harder, that's all.

"But I'm not saying we couldn't use Starbuck" Riana added with a smile. "She could give Showboat a few hints after all."

>>

Kara came to his battlestar the next day in the morning. Lee was indecisive whether he should give her an order to contact Captain Case the first – and only – thing; or if he should talk to her about the Pegasus' command request in person. Eventually he decided for the later, and thought it was a mistake the moment she stepped through the hatch.

Her face was an emotionless mask, her voice formal, her pose way too respectful for the Starbuck he used to know – and like. He knew now that he used to like her disobedience. They hadn't met more than a couple of times since her return – and since that unfortunate welcome – and each time she'd been this resentful, as if he had done something wrong. He was fed up with it.

So instead of giving her a formal order, he decided to call her on it. Though it was probably just another mistake.

"At ease. What's your problem, Kara?" he asked.

Her respectful mask dropped for a split second, but then was right back on.

"Is this question the reason I was summoned to Pegasus, sir?"

Frak her! "No" Lee replied calmly. "The reason will be explained later. Meanwhile drop the 'sir' and answer my question. Kara. How did I possibly offend you?"

She finally looked at him. Really looked, and in her eyes he saw genuine hurt. He was at a complete loss – he could find no reason for her to feel hurt by him.

"When you said…" she started hesitantly. "When I was leaving…for Caprica… You said you hoped I'd find him." She waited a second, and he nodded. "I thought you meant it."

"I did."

"Well, I found him" she looked at the floor. "I'm back, I found him, and I was… I was kind of hoping you would come to meet him. I wanted…" she choked. And she couldn't go on, so she just stood there, watching the tips of her shoes, unable to voice what she wanted.

Lee was stunned. Speechless. Completely flabbergasted.

"I…came" he blurted out finally.

"You…did?" She looked up nervously.

"Yes. On the very first day, the very… You were…" Lee stopped. He didn't want to stutter in front of her. "You don't remember, do you?"

"No" her voice was so small, and she was so vulnerable, as he'd seen her only a couple of times before. "But I…I thought I had that dream in which you came and…" she stopped and eyed him, but he wasn't going to help her with this one. He just waited for her to continue. "You kind of…went all alpha male on Sam." She sputtered, and Lee's eyes widened in shock.

"I went alpha…what… It was rather you, who went all alpha-female on Dee!" he screamed. "Or didn't that get into that dream of yours!"

She crumbled under his rage. "It did" she admitted in a small voice. "So that really happened?"

"Frak, yes!"

"Sorry."

They stood there, looking at each other – Lee breathing hard; his shoulder started hurting acutely. Kara looking at him – apology personified. How could he not forgive her when she looked like that?

He sighed heavily, and wiped his face. He couldn't let her get away with this so easily. "I need you to meet with Captain Case now" he started, picking Showboat's conspectus from his desk.

But Kara was persistent. "Lee, please… We can't…be like that. Please. I am sorry, I'm truly sorry, I can't remember exactly, but I think I wasn't fair. I'm sorry" she repeated once more. That was odd, she was odd. Talking about what she wanted, apologizing… And Lee knew exactly where that change came from. Anders. Finding him was like katharsis for her. A life-altering experience – a proof that she was not a complete frak-up. He couldn't destroy her barely emerging self-confidence.

"Okay" he nodded with resignation.

"Friends?" she held out her hand to him and he took it. What else was he supposed to do?

"Friends."

She smiled at him broadly, and all he felt was regret and anger. He did let her get away with this. Easily. Again. But he smiled too.

"We can't get flight simulators on-line" he went straight to business, not trusting his own emotional state at the moment. "You have the experience of training nuggets without such aids, so we thought you could give Case a few tips. Here's her idea of getting through with the course." He handed her the papers, and she took them, watching him closely. He was aware of her stare, but tried to pretend it didn't bother him. "Take a look at this, talk to her, and work out some new ways of training. We're not going to need as many pilots as before now that we're at peace, but both the Admiral and I want to keep the forces up and running, so top standards are still expected."

"Sure" she replied, and Lee noticed her formality was all gone. Her attitude changed drastically within seconds, and it didn't make him as happy as he hoped it would. "You're overworked here, Adama" she said then, and absolutely startled him. She chuckled, apparently the look on his face was funny. "You're getting dull. Being the Commander must be tough?" she asked with mock-seriousness.

"It is."

"Right." She nodded. And added with a grin: "You probably forgot how to fly a viper through all this."

Lee sighed, trying to cover up an eerie coldness that sneaked through his backbone, and hoping she wouldn't notice. "It's not what I do now…"

She didn't notice. "Oh, I know." She waved her hand, dismissively. "Duty and all. Yeah, you wouldn't probably differ pitch from trigger now that you're riding a batttlestar."

"Right." Somehow that comment nearly made him laugh. Laugh nervously; she was making him nervous.

Kara looked up, and continued pressing him. "Could you?" she sounded genuinely surprised, but he recognized that play, he knew where she was headed. "I bet you forgot how to fly, and you wouldn't beat me in a race. But then – you never could." She smiled smugly, and very Starbuck-ly

"Starbuck" his return smile was stiff, as he poked at the papers in her hand. "The meeting."

"Hm, the meeting." She saluted. "I'm on my way, but um…" She hesitated once again, before turning away from him. She looked up with a mischievous spark in her eyes. "That's a challenge, Adama. You don't just turn down a good challenge."

With that she spun finally and strode out of his quarters, confidence radiating from her. A challenge. Sometimes she was so childish. But Lee had to admit that her attempt at redemption was somehow refreshing. He felt as if a little of the weight he carried on his shoulders these days had been lifted.

>>

t.b.c.