DISCLAIMER: The character's and the universe of the Battlestar Galactica do not belong to me.

Great thanks to all my faithfull reviewers - love to all of you!

BETA'ed by AMMONITE - you're the best!

---

YEAR OF HELL by -yannik-

Chapter Ten – TWO WEDDINGS, AND…

---

"Is this your handwriting?" Riana Balder asked, handing her CO some paper.

"Probably not," Lee admitted. It looked more like Dualla's. The XO chuckled slightly, and Lee shot her a glance. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. It just seems that you and our comms officer are getting really close."

"I stopped making a secret of it couple of months ago."

"I know, but this… This is more than just fraternizing. You two are starting to behave like a married couple!" she giggled at the thought.

From the first moment she stepped out of the raptor from New Caprica, Lee had noticed a change in her.

"Vacation suited you," he observed. She looked up at him with her bright questioning eyes. "You had a good time down there?"

"Great," she admitted, and cast her eyes downward, as if not wanting him to see everything that was there. But then she changed her mind and started talking. "The settlement is a terrible place. It's cold, dirty, people are hungry. But most of them seem to be happy. They are free at last. Free from running from the cylons, and free from the ships they were imprisoned in. They have hope; they believe in the future." She gazed at him earnestly. "You should go there too, you'd see that it is all worthwhile."

"I will," Lee answered half-heartedly. "Not just yet, but I will. Eventually."

They sat in silence for a moment, all the reports laying before them on the table. Finally Riana sighed heavily, and took the next from the pile. And a strange thought occurred to Lee.

"You're not going to move down there, are you?" he dared to ask.

"Oh, I couldn't leave you with your girlfriend as your XO," she chuckled in response. "That would make things completely counter to the rules."

---

After his CIC shift ended, Lee came into his quarters and was startled by the sight of Dee engrossed in paperwork.

"You don't have to do all that, you know."

"Yeah," Dee smiled. "And leave it to you? In a few days you'd bury yourself, and what use would I have of you?" She stood up, stretched her back, and neared him. "There are some other things I have in mind for my man, besides than sitting at his desk," she said, stroking his chest and looking into his eyes.

He leaned down and kissed her.

"But this is not your job," he reminded, encircling her with his arms.

"It's not? So are you going to sit here instead? And what will I be doing in the meantime?" she asked seductively.

Lee squinted at her. "Well, actually…" he said apologetically, "I'm on my way to Galactica - for a meeting with my father." He felt really awful, seeing disappointment evident on her face.

"Alone?" she asked for confirmation, turning away and approaching his desk again.

He felt so bad for her. Those dinners at the Admiral's were the only distraction from an otherwise boring life on the battlestar. Lee knew how she enjoyed them. Furthermore, he wasn't really thrilled with the idea of talking to his father alone.

"Get dressed," he said. She cast him a surprised glance. "Well, I can't turn him down" he explained. "But I sure as hell can take you there to have some fun, right?"

She smiled beautifully in answer, and ran to the back of his quarters to put on her dress uniform.

---

Adama was clearly surprised to see both of them entering his dining room, but requested a third cover immediately. Then they sat, ate and talked. Midway through the meal the atmosphere was still pleasant, as Dee and the Admiral recollected some anecdotes from old times. It was even nice when they started comparing CAG Apollo with the late Ripper. There were so many memories; it seemed that times of stillness allowed them to resurface more and more rapidly, after the long year of pursuit, when nobody even dared to think about past time.

"But Galactica has never had a worse CAG than it has now" Bill Adama stated suddenly.

Lee quickly swallowed a mouthful of spaghetti. "Gray may not be very experienced, but he's working hard" he said then, sticking up for the newly promoted pilot.

"The fact that Starbuck recommended him, doesn't mean he's doing his job" the Old Man eyed his son coldly. "You of all people should be able to see it."

"So what are you saying?" Lee went on the defensive.

The Admiral looked at his subordinate and sighed. "I want to replace him with Kat," he declared, well aware of the objections that would arise.

"Kat?" was all Lee could articulate.

"Have you listened to the wireless lately?" the older Adama growled. "Kat is authoritative, collected and thinks fast. She'd make a good Commander of Air Group."

"Kat used to take stimms" Lee reminded. "How do you know she'll hold under pressure?"

The Admiral gave his son a glare. "That was a long time ago," he said. "She's strong, she's risen above it."

Lee just shook his head. He didn't like any of this, but trying to change his father's mind once it was set was like yelling at the wall. So instead of talking, he focused on his meal.

"The only reason Starbuck recommended Gray," interrupted Dee, "was because she dislikes Kat." Both men's eyes turned to her, and she just shrugged. "Everyone knows of their resentments."

Lee sighed. Dee had a point, but that didn't make the situation any clearer.

"You shouldn't just change the CAG because of some… I don't know," he stammered. He found it hard to rationalize his arguments. Because Dee was probably right.

"Dee is right," the Admiral voiced his thought. "And Starbuck is no longer here. I'll promote Kat, she's proved herself worthy."

The statement was so forthright, it almost felt like a blow.

"If you had already made your decision" Lee whispered, "why are you asking my opinion anyway? Whatever I say is irrelevant." He kept his voice steady, but deep inside he felt his guts twisting. He no longer was hungry, in fact he was afraid he might throw up.

"I wanted to hear your opinion," the Admiral stated matter-of-factly, returning to his spaghetti and clearly enjoying it.

"Well, so you've heard it" Lee hissed. "Do you have anything else you wanted to hear my opinion about and neglect it completely?"

"Lee, stop this" Dee gasped.

And Bill looked up at his son, quite startled. Put his fork aside.

"I'm not neglecting your opinion," he said slowly, looking at Lee with wonder. "And as the matter of fact there was something else I'm deliberating on. We need a decent evacuation plan for New Caprica."

"Evacuation plan? I'm not sure I follow…"

"None of us trust the cylons" Adama started explaining. "That's why we're here - we think we could protect everybody on the ground. But the truth is, all we have are outdated plans from the times of pursuit - patched, rewritten and adjusted to the new situation. We need something completely different. A plan created anew from the core. And I want you to start thinking about one."

Lee gazed at his father for a long time. This was some nonsense! He couldn't think of any other way to name this whole idea.

"What are you talking about?" he gasped finally.

Bill looked up, once more startled away from his food. Apparently he thought it was obvious, and was shocked to realize his son and second-in-command didn't share his righteous opinion. He took his time figuring out the reply.

"I'm taking about New Caprica, Commander," he finally began, sighing. "About all the people, and all the ships stranded down there…"

"Exactly," Lee cut in. "They are stranded. If a cylon fleet shows up, do you really expect there would be anyone or anything to evacuate from the planet?" he stared at his father and saw confusion in the Old Man's eyes. The mighty Admiral thought those fools could be saved! Lee knew better than that. "If we wanted to protect them, we should have arrested them on those ships and continued our search for Earth. But they had a choice and they made one. It was to trust the cylons – those same ones who exterminated ninety nine percent of humanity! If they find us and come here, they'll just shoot a few nukes before we even have the time to blink. And then it'll be all over. What evacuation plans do you need?"

The silence that followed this outburst was dense and awkward. Both Dee and the Admiral looked at the table, obviously uncomfortable. The truth always made people uncomfortable, but they had to face it. They had to understand!

Dee looked up, and put a strand of hair behind her ear. She wanted to say something, but she cast a quick glance at the older Adama and changed her mind. Lee didn't catch the meaningful stare of his father, but then his girlfriend got up and excused herself, saying she needed to got to the head.

When they were left alone, Bill exhaled from the bottom of his guts.

"Lee," he started, but was interrupted.

"I'm sorry." The son shook his head. "I know I was blunt, too blunt maybe. I just don't see the point of… of helping people who don't want to help themselves."

There was a moment of silence again. And then the father asked very softly, "You're still angry at her, aren't you?"

Lee looked up, and in his Dad's eyes he saw genuine compassion… and something more, something that made him cringe inside.

"It has nothing to do with her," he whispered through clenched teeth.

"Lee," Bill started again, and for some reason shot a glance behind his back, where Dee had disappeared into the head. He continued in a soft voice. "There was a reason I asked you to come alone today… I have news, and I'm not sure how you're going to take this. But I'd rather you found out from me, before..." he sighed. "She called me yesterday."

Lee didn't say anything to that. He stared at the table, at his unfinished pasta, thinking that his father couldn't possibly expect an answer.

But apparently he did. "Kara," he specified. "She called."

"Hope she's doing fine," Lee whispered. Would that be a hint enough for his father to drop the subject?

Obviously not.

"She and Anders got married, Lee."

There was no reaction to that. With absolute shock, Lee realized he felt nothing. The news didn't make him angry, or miserable, or furious, or absolutely enraged.

"Good for her," he articulated easily.

"Lee, I just thought…" Bill started and hesitated.

Then the hatch to the head opened and Dee came back, and there was no room for discussion about Kara any more. Lee sighed with relief.

"Cold spaghetti is uneatable," he remarked as the woman he loved sat opposite from him.

She gave him an incredulous look, then gazed questioningly at his father.

"What did I miss?" she asked.

"We reached an agreement" Lee stated, before the Old Man had a chance to say anything. "I'm going to think about evac plans. Which means we should be heading back to Pegasus; there's a lot of work."

The Admiral nodded silently, looking at his son with concern. Dee muttered something about unfinished dinner, but Lee reminded once more, that once pasta got cold, it lost all the flavor. Not waiting for her, he strode out of the Admiral's quarters.

Dee caught up with him in the corridor.

"You didn't reach any agreement!" she accused, grabbing his elbow.

"Quite on the contrary" he said. "We did. And I'm going to do exactly as he wants." Jerked his hand free and marched away.

"But you didn't agree," Dee persisted when she caught up with him once more.

Lee didn't answer. Of course she was right again, but there was no sense in telling her something she already knew.

While on the raptor, Dee tried to get him to talk. She said something along the lines of "you shouldn't argue, he's your father," but he paid her no attention.

His father only saw what he wanted to see. He was a dreamer, who just didn't want to accept the reality of this. And the reality was – Lee knew – that reality was dark. He couldn't quite name it, but he felt… He knew, there was something dark just lurking around the corner. Bill Adama only saw what he wanted to see; it had always been that way. He'd thought Caroline enjoyed being the wife of an officer, until she'd told him she was no longer going to live like this. He'd thought his sons were better off with their mother, but they hadn't been. He'd thought his sons' only dreams were to become viper pilots, until one of them died, and the other… the other was supposed to love commanding a battlestar…

When they entered the Commander's quarters back on Pegasus the first thing that caught the eye were tons of paper, paper that Lee needed to read that evening. Then he should begin to come up with some idea of how to protect the grounded civilians in case the cylons attacked. He was not looking forward to any of it.

"You know why I agree with him?" Dualla asked, standing at his desk and staring at all the work waiting for them. She looked up, and answered right away. "Because he wants to give his crew something to work on, some meaning to all those pilot maneuvers. Purpose. Faith, hope. All you do is bring them down," she accused, and struck a chord.

"Maybe that's because I don't have hope!" Lee countered with anger. "How can I give something I don't have?"

She gazed at him and the look on her face turned from reproachment to compassion. Even pity. Then she turned away. She couldn't answer that, every time their conversation touched the subject of his emotional state, she shut down. He didn't mean to make her uncomfortable, or helpless. He regretted each word he said, but he couldn't help how he felt.

"I wish I could…" Dee whispered, absently leafing through the papers. "You need some help with that?" She indicated his desk finally, despair in her eyes. If she couldn't help him in any other way, she could at least help him carry the burden of command.

Lee sighed and nodded. He tried to smile reassuringly, as he neared her and held her in his arms. "It's a great help actually. Thank you."

And then a thought occurred to him. He remembered Major Balder's comment about them behaving like a married couple, and about everything about them being against the rules. The rules were gradually changing, fraternization was no longer regarded with such disapproval, but sharing quarters with his girlfriend could, in fact, be a bad example. And that could easily be changed.

"Dee… Anastasia, " Lee began hesitantly, looking into her eyes. Her brow rose in an unspoken question. He inhaled deeply, and holding her face in his palms, asked. "Will you marry me?"

He had startled her – that was obvious. For a moment she couldn't find words, and then she gazed at him sheepishly and her beautiful smile widened. "First of all," she whispered, coughed and repeated in a clear voice. "First of all, you can call me Dee. I'm used to that and that's more my name now, than Anastasia. That one is awkward, I know. Second… or rather should be first, more important and all…" She smiled again, her eyes sparkling. "Yes, Lee, I will marry you."

And then she kissed him, he kissed her back, and they held onto each other tightly, lovingly. And Lee couldn't quite explain why her answer, her love, her closeness… made him so sad. So enormously, immeasurably sad.

---

The ceremony, performed on Galactica, was small and short. Admiral Adama asked for a blessing from Artemis Limnatis and Hera Teleja – goddesses who care for the household and married couples. The fruit, a small apple, that Lee gave his wife, was the only ritual element. They weren't even dressed in traditional chitons, but in their dress-blue uniforms. Then there was a dinner with the Tighs, and after that they returned to the Pegasus.

A few days later, Major Balder handed her CO her resignation.

"Why?" Lee asked. He wasn't pleased to see her go, he had learned to like her and trust her over the months they spent commanding the Beast together.

"When you assumed I had a good time down there, you were right," Riana admitted. "I met someone. You know, as in… someone important. I want to be with him." She waited for the Commander to respond, but he only stared at her request, with a distant sense of déjà vu. He brushed it off when she added, "You know, I guess your marriage kind of made me realize…"

"I know," Lee cut in. "Alright" he sighed, and put his signature on the resignation. Handed it to her.

"Thank you. If I could make a recommendation for an XO position…" she hesitated and smiled. Lee thought he knew what she was going to say. "I think you should promote Ensign Dualla to Lieutenant… I know it's a little low ranking to be an XO, but…"

"I know" Lee smiled in return.

"Yes. She'll make a great XO, I think she already has experience."

"Yeah, she does."

"Good. Then at least I know I'm leaving my Commander in good hands."

"You do."

"Will you come and visit someday?"

"Yes. Yes, I will, sure. Someday."

"I'll be expecting you. So, this is a goodbye."

"This is a goodbye."

---

t.b.c.