Title: Hindsight
Author: Karleen
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Warner Brothers, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone. This was just written for fun.
A/N: Thanks for reading, I appreciate the feedback.

Chapter Two: Contradicting Then, Contemplating Now

She walked up to the house and didn't know what to expect. It had been a year since she'd seen or heard of Luke, in the very least she was curious. It took her a while, but she finally rang the bell after almost thirty minutes.

"Who is it?" a voice yelled. She rang the bell again. "What do you want this time again Ed?" before she knew it, TJ opened the door and a shocked expression came over his face. "Lorelai."

"Hey TJ." she said simply.

"Wow I was not expecting you. I thought you were that pesky neighbor of ours that always borrows something 'cause he's too lazy to buy his own groceries. Come in."

"Is Liz here?"

"Yeah, she's just upstairs changing Adam's diapers. I still can't handle them myself."

"Oh." she said as she grinned slightly about his revelation.

"Do you want anything to drink?" he asked her but she politely declined.

"TJ was that Ed again? I told him a couple of days ago that..." she carried Adam down the stairs with her and stopped when she saw Lorelai sitting on their couch. "Hey."

"Your baby is adorable."

"Thanks." she handed the baby to TJ and he took him upstairs. "So..."

"I just wanted to see how he is."

"Ok." with that, she led Lorelai upstairs to his room.

He was still sleeping and had his back turned from them. He wasn't wearing his trademark attire, no flannel in sight, no backwards baseball cap. Instead he wore a sweatshirt and pajama pants which were both loose on him since he'd lost so much weight. His bandaged eyes stood out from his dark attire. Lorelai didn't even recognize him at first. She felt a tremble form on her lips. She couldn't take the sight in front of her and rushed back downstairs. Liz closed the door and followed her.

"I don't think I can do this. I'm sorry." she managed to say as she picked up her jacket and walked back to her jeep.

- - - - -

He woke up a couple of hours later and went on with his routine. Sat up on his bed for about an hour before he decided to go to the bathroom. He went back to his bed and sank down on his pillow until Liz or TJ brought him his lunch or dinner. Sometimes, TJ offered some news on sports, which most of the time he accepted. Liz turned the radio or the TV on for him so that it wouldn't be so quiet in his room. On rare occasions, he'd ask one of them to lead him to their back porch so that he'd sit outside and breathe in fresh air.

In a small amount of time, his life turned a complete 360 on him. Not a day passed that he wondered 'What if I'd just told her about April, or just agreed to elope with her right then and there' that their situation could've been resolved rather than dissolved into nothing. He knew he can't keep living in the past. He constantly reminded himself of the day that she told him she slept with Christopher. She ended it and there was no way for them to go back to the way they used to be.

When he finally got out of his coma, he told Liz not to tell April, Anna or any one else from Stars Hollow. She didn't need an explanation, obliged with his request and closed the diner.

- - - - -

She got stuck in heavy traffic as she drove back to Stars Hollow. She didn't want to think about what she just saw but it seemed to have been branded in her thoughts. Luke was helpless and limp. She had never seen him so fragile, as he used to be her guide post, the glue that held her together. But after everything that happened, he was no longer that. He became a mirage and turned into this person she couldn't even distinguish. When she finally saw him there after a long time of being apart, she felt her heart sink to the floor. No matter how much she forced herself to move on with her life, she knew that he's still the man that she ever truly loved, still love for that matter.

"Hey Mom" Rory answered her cell while typing up her editorial at the Stanford Eagle Gazette.

"Hey kid." she said, in a tone where only Rory knows that something was wrong. "Are you busy?"

"No, I'm just finishing up some things. Where are you now?"

"In Maine." she said without further details.

"Oh." Rory replied without realizing what that meant. Lorelai hadn't told her about the visit with Liz.

"Long story short, I know where Luke is."

"Wha..Ho..Where?"

"He's living with Liz and TJ. He didn't see me, well because he's temporarily blind."

"What??"

"I'm sorry I'm dumping this on you now but I had to tell someone."

"That's ok, I'm just really confused." stopped what she was doing and sits up. "I'm all ears now."

"Ok, then here goes."

She told Rory about everything, about why she decided to just head up to Maine, about Liz's favor and about everything else she'd been bottling up inside her.

- - - - -

She drove by the square and parked across the diner. She no longer held back the distraught feelings she felt. She needed her pain to be released. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she allowed herself to cry, to be that girl that she didn't want to be. She wanted to help, and her pride was the shield that she carried for so long.

It was finally time to let the shield go.

She knew what she was getting herself into. Right now she figured, there's only one way out.

"Liz? hi, it's Lorelai." she paused. "I'll do it." she said simply and closed her eyes.

and who's to say it's wrong
and who's to say it's not right
where we should be from now
so this is where you are
and this is where i am
so this is where you are
and this is where i've been

The Fray- Hundred

to be continued...