Chapter 13 Vader and Anakin
"Stop it, Anakin, you're crushing him." Obi-Wan said as he tried, one-handed, to push Anakin off as Ferri fought to free himself, "Anakin, he'll die, let him up."
"Anakin, stop before it's too late; you don't want to hurt anyone else, let go of him." Padme pleaded as she grabbed his arm trying to pull him away.
"He attacked me." Anakin said, then looked at her with feral yellow eyes; Padme stepped back in shock and Anakin shifted more of his weight onto Ferri's chest, "Attacked me; I was going to let him get away and not tell my master he survived when we attacked the Temple, but the ungrateful brat attacked me."
"Plea…" Ferri gasped and then went limp.
"Anakin how many times must I tell you that there was no attack on the Temple and that you never joined Palpatine and turned to the Dark Side." Obi-Wan replied desperately.
"Yes, I did; I helped him kill Master Windu….I remember killing that one, there, but he came back to life; I did it save Padme…I…I had to, I…I can't live without her." Anakin answered, his voice wavering.
"I know, Anakin; but she does not need saving." Obi-Wan told him gently as he put a hand on Anakin's shoulder, "Now, let Ferri up before you crush him to death."
Anakin turned his head to look up at him, "And what will you do if I don't? Will you fight me?" He asked.
"I have no wish to fight you." Obi-Wan replied.
"Then this one will die." He said.
"You would kill him just because I refuse to fight? Anakin, do not force me to make that choice." Obi-Wan warned.
Anakin laughed, "You didn't wish to fight Baylor Grant either, but you did in the end after he almost killed this boy." He reminded him with a cocky grin.
"What?"
"Don't play stupid, you know what I'm talking about." Anakin continued.
"Anakin, that happened almost a year after Palpatine was killed." Obi-Wan informed him, "And that was with my Padawan, Zak; not this boy."
"No, it couldn't have….I remember…" Anakin stammered as his cocky grin was replaced by a look of confusion; he rubbed the side of his head and looked down at the boy pinned beneath him, "I'm sure…I…"
"But you're not really sure anymore, are you?" Obi-Wan asked and then looked up as a shadow passed overhead; it was a Jedi light cruiser.
He and Padme both breathed a sigh of relief as the ship settled on the tarmac nearby, "That's a Jedi cruiser, Anakin; if all the Jedi are dead, then who is flying it?" Obi-Wan asked.
"I….I…" Anakin started and then halted and stood up as he caught sight of the dark skinned master emerging from the cruiser, "Master Windu?"
Acting quickly, Padme pulled Ferri's limp body out of the way as Anakin's legs buckled and he sank to his knees, "Master Windu?" He repeated.
A small figure toddled over and put one tiny hand on Anakin's face, "Are you my Daddy now?" Luke asked.
"Luke! What are you doing out here?" Padme exclaimed as she scooped Luke up, "Where is your sister?"
"With Haddie in the ship; I sneaked out with Ferri, don't be mad at him, Mommy, he dint know." Luke answered.
Anakin did not seem to notice either Luke or Padme as he continued to stare at Mace Windu coming toward him; then looked up at Obi-Wan as the last vestiges of his delusion faded, "What have I done?" He cried.
Obi-Wan knelt down in front of him, "Nothing that can't be fixed, Anakin." He answered.
Anakin touched the bloody sleeve of Obi-Wan's tunic and then collapsed against him, sobbing, "I…I'm so sorry….so, so sorry." He cried.
"No, Anakin; it's alright." Obi-Wan told him gently as he put left arm around him and lowered them both to the ground.
Anakin curled into a ball, "Is Padme; did I…?" He asked.
"No, she's fine; she's right here with Luke, see?" Obi-Wan said.
Padme sat down next to him with Luke still in her arms, "I'm right here, my love." She assured him, smiling as she stroked his head.
"I…I'm sorry…I don't know what…are the babies…are they alright?" Anakin asked.
"Yes, Leia and Haddie are locked in the ship and Luke is right here." Padme answered, "Would you like to hold him?"
"No…no, I…not like this….no." Anakin replied, "They're…they're afraid of me now, aren't they."
"I don't think so, Annie; they know you were sick." Padme said.
"Luke touched his arm, "I'm not 'fraid, Daddy; it's alright." He assured him.
Anakin looked up him with tears streaming down his face and then looked at Padme, "I...I can't do this now." He requested, "Please?"
Padme smiled at him and stroked his head again, "Alright, Annie, I'll put him in the ship with Leia and Haddie and be right back."
"No, stay…stay with them." He told her.
"Well, alright, if that's what you want…why, Annie?" She asked with a puzzled look on her face.
"I…I can't…I don't know…please, just…could you do this?" He answered and then began to cry again.
Padme looked at Obi-Wan with uncertainty, "It's alright, Padme; I'm not going anywhere." He said reassuringly.
"But you're hurt." Padme objected.
Obi-Wan shook his head and then looked down at Anakin, whimpering softly as he tried to curl into a tighter ball, and then back up at her, his eyes appealing to her; Padme understood, the last thing Anakin needed to think about was hurting his closest friend. She nodded, "I'll go see to the children, Annie." She said patting him on the arm before standing up.
"Master?" Zak said as he knelt down in front of him.
"Are you alright, Padawan?" Obi-Wan asked quietly.
"I think so." Zak answered.
Obi-Wan nodded, "See to Ferri." He instructed.
"Yes, Master." Zak replied and then looked up.
Obi-Wan looked up as well to see Mace Windu looking down at him, "Are you alright, Master Kenobi?" He asked.
Obi-Wan smiled, "Yes, I'm fine now; I have my brother back." He answered.
Mace sighed and shook his head, then knelt down next to him, "Let's just have a look then." He said carefully lifting back the slit, bloody sleeve of Obi-Wan tunic, "This is deep, Obi-Wan."
"I know, but it will be alright for now." Obi-Wan replied, "Take care of Ferri."
"Alright." Mace conceded and then look at him sternly, "However, when all this is over, you and I will have to discuss the meaning of bad judgment."
Obi-Wan nodded and turned his attention back to Anakin, "Anakin, we must get you back to Coruscant." He said.
"Just leave me here; I don't deserve to live." Anakin told him, "Not after what I've done."
"Oh, Anakin, my brother, nothing that has happened has been your fault. Do you remember anything of what happened to you?" Obi-Wan asked.
Anakin sighed and sat up, "No, I remember having lunch with Padme…and then I must have forgotten all about that because then I thought that Palpatine was still alive and that Mace was dead; and then I….I…" He started to answer and then buried his head in his hands and began to sob again, "I killed someone, Obi-Wan; killed him! By the Force, how could I do that now, after I thought I'd conquered my Dark Side?"
Obi-Wan put his arm around him, "You were hit by a speeder outside the Senate Complex; Ferri said that you hit your head when you were thrown; for some reason, your mind mistook the memory of your nightmares for reality." Obi-Wan began, "You became the Darth Vader of your nightmare."
Anakin shook his head, "Poor Ferri; here he tries to do something good to make up for Myrkr and look what I go and do to him." He replied, looking over at the young Jedi being tended by two Jedi Masters.
"He understood what happened; I don't think he will hold it against you." Obi-Wan assured him.
"I'll think about that while I'm serving out my sentence on Kessel." Anakin answered.
"Kessel? Anakin, I rather doubt there will be any charges pressed against you when this is finished." Obi-Wan said.
Anakin turned to look at him, his blue eyes brimming with tears again, "I murdered someone and I've hurt others…I've…I've hurt you and…Zak and…and poor Ferri. I tried to kill my wife! I may even have tried to kill my own…my own babies if I'd had the chance."
Obi-Wan moved to sit in front of Anakin and put his left hand on Anakin's shoulder, "Four times, Anakin, four times you had a chance to kill me but you didn't; and several times, you had the chance to kill both Zak and Ferri yet you spared them every time. You did not kill the guard on the Naboo landing platform, and you did not kill the sky taxi pilot either, nor did you even attack the guard at the Senate Office Complex. That tells me…don't look away," He said as he shook Anakin, "that tells me that you were still in there somewhere trying to take control."
Anakin shook his head, "But I still killed someone, murdered him…I…remember…Obi-Wan, I remember taking pleasure in it." He replied tearfully.
"As Vader, you may have, yes; but Ferri believes the man may have been attacking you." Obi-Wan countered.
"Maybe, I don't know; but I still should not have…." Anakin answered then sighed and shook his head again.
"Probably not; but what's done is done. And if that alien was attacking you, then what you did was really self defense." Obi-Wan reasoned.
"It was not the Jedi way." Anakin replied.
"Vader was not a Jedi." Obi-Wan reminded him.
"But I was Vader." Anakin argued.
Obi-Wan sighed, "No, that was not you, my brother." He told him.
Seeming to sense that Anakin was troubled, Yoda left Ferri to stand next to Obi-Wan; prodding Anakin with his gimmer stick, "Talked of this we have, often in the past, hmm?" He said.
"It's not the same." Anakin replied, shaking his head, "Before it was only a nightmare; I hadn't actually done anything; now…." He sighed.
"Hmm…much we will have to talk about. For now, home we must go; healing you all need." Yoda told him.
"Is Ferri…? Will he be…?" Anakin tried to ask.
"In time, heal he will as you will, Anakin Skywalker." Yoda assured him, "Come now, in this terrible place long enough we have been."
Anakin nodded slowly and then scrambled to his feet, holding his hand out to help Obi-Wan up, "Pilot a ship can you, Obi-Wan?" Yoda asked.
"I will manage, Master Yoda; Zak and I will go with Anakin to return the ship he took from Senator Salirre." Obi-Wan answered.
"Speak with your wife you should, Anakin; better it would be if you go with her." Yoda suggested.
Anakin shook his head, "I can't…not yet." He replied.
"Hmph, harder it will be if you wait." Yoda told him.
As if on cue, Padme appeared at the top of the yacht's boarding ramp holding Hadrian and the twins flanking her. Anakin sighed and walked slowly up the ramp.
Mace carefully picked Ferri up and carried him toward the ship, "Master…Master Windu…I...I'm sorry." Ferri mumbled.
"Nevermind that now; there will be time enough to talk about it when you are better." He said.
"I…I defied the…the Council…it's…it's the end…for me now…isn't it." Ferri managed.
"That is by no means a certainty; save your strength." Mace replied.
Ferri tried to sigh and then groaned in pain, "It…it hurts to…to breathe." He whispered.
"I know; but it will be alright." Mace assured him.
Yoda watched Anakin with his family for a moment and then turned to Obi-Wan, "Return to Coruscant we must; Ferri's injury, treated it must be." He said.
"How bad is it?" Obi-Wan asked, suddenly concerned.
"Damaged his lung he has; hard to breathe for him, it is." Yoda answered.
Obi-Wan shook his head, "I should not have dragged him into this." He replied.
"Accepted his help the Council should have, and alone you would not have been when you came here." Yoda told him and then looked at him, "Tell Anakin how serious this is you must not; guilt enough he feels over what has happened."
"I agree; I will say nothing." Obi-Wan agreed.
Yoda nodded and turned to follow Mace to the cruiser.
Obi-Wan watched them both retreat with the injured Ferri and then turned to see Anakin embracing Padme and Hadrian with both children hugging his legs. He nodded, sighed wearily and, holding his injured arm, turned toward Senator Salirre's ship; Zak already stood waiting next to it and without a word, they boarded together.
"I will never be able to make up for what I did, Padme; I'm so sorry." Anakin told Padme and they embraced.
"Annie, you were hurt and confused; I probably even made things worse by coming here. There isn't anything to make up for." Padme replied, "I'm fine, the children are fine; it's alright."
"It'salright, Daddy." Leia assured him, "You were sick."
"You weren't Daddy for a little bit; but you are now, so it really is alright." Luke added.
Anakin knelt down and hugged them both, "Daddy is very sorry he scared you." He said.
"We know, Daddy." Luke replied, "You were lost and jus' had to find the way back, that's all."
Leia nodded in agreement; Anakin buried his head against them, "Yes, and I did." He said and then kissed them both before standing up.
Padme's attention was on the other ships, and Anakin turned to see what she was looking at; the Jedi light cruiser was just lifting off and the engines on the stolen Naboo ship were starting up.
"He's hurt, I should go with him." Anakin said.
"Yes, you should." Padme agreed.
Anakin nodded, kissed her and then Hadrian before bending down and kissing the twins. "I'll see you soon." He told them and hurried down the ramp and over to the other ship.
Padme and the children watched him as the ramp lowered; Anakin, she realized, must have connected with Obi-Wan. Satisfied, you took the children back to the passengers' cabin to settle them in for the long flight back home.
"Where's Ferri, Mommy?" Leia asked.
"Daddy hurt him when he was still sick." Luke told her.
"Will he be alright?" Leia asked.
"I don't know, sweetheart, I hope so." Padme answered as she fastened Hadrian's harness, "I hope so."
"Me, too; we like Ferri." Leia replied.
"He was very brave, wasn't he." Padme said.
"Yeah, but don't be mad cuz he dint stay with us; we tol' him to help you." Luke answered.
"But he broke his promise to protect you." Padme countered.
"We know, but we kinda…well, we said he was 'fraid to help you." Leia admitted.
"So you shamed him into it? That wasn't very nice." Padme told her sternly, "We will talk about this when we get home."
"I'm sorry, Mommy." Leia said, lowering her head.
"Well, you should be; and you can tell Ferri you're sorry too." Padme replied.
"We will, we promise." Luke answered.
"Yes, you will." Padme confirmed.
Luke looked at Leia and then both sighed. Padme shook her head, secured each of their harnesses and entered the cockpit.