Chapter 14 Two Lives Tied Together
"What are we going to do about the Chancellor's ship, Master?" Zak asked as he helped Obi-Wan with the preflight checks.
"I will let him know it's there so he can send one of his men to retrieve it." Obi-Wan answered.
"Do you think Master Anakin is alright now?" Zak asked.
"Well, he knows he did not join the Dark Side; but he's not quite alright yet." Obi-Wan replied.
"Because of what he did? But doesn't he understand that was because he was hurt?" Zak wondered.
Obi-Wan sighed, "It is not that easy, Padawan; he may understand that, but it does not undo the damage he did while he was living his nightmare." He explained.
"You don't blame him do you?" Zak asked.
"No, but what matters now is that Anakin blames himself." Obi-Wan answered.
"What can we do to help him?" Zak asked.
"For now, just give him some room, let him think things through; then I will go with him to see the poor fellow whose clothes he took, the taxi pilot and Senator Salirri." Obi-Wan told him.
"And Ferri?" Zak added with a question.
"Ferri already understands what happened; I think Anakin will want go to him alone; however, if he asks me, I will come with him." Obi-Wan said.
Zak nodded, "I hope he knows that I understand what happened to him too." He replied.
"Well, that is something you can tell him yourself; it appears that he does not think I am capable of flying at the moment." Obi-Wan answered.
Zak smiled, "You're connected again!" He realized.
"Yes, we actually have been since his mind cleared." Obi-Wan admitted.
"That's good." Zak replied contently.
"Lower the boarding ramp; he says Padme is leaving without him." Obi-Wan instructed.
Zak laughed, "Yes, Master." He answered.
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"It's…I…breathe." Ferri gasped.
"Alright, just calm down and relax; stop fighting it." Mace instructed calmly.
"Can't…breathe." Ferri replied, his eyes wide with fear as he fought for every breath.
"I know; one of your lungs is collapsing, but your other one is still functioning. Concentrate on just using that one; you can do this, Ferri, if you focus." Mace explained calmly.
"Can't…." Ferri gasped, "Help…"
"If I help you relax, can you at least try?" Mace asked.
But Ferri was beyond reasoning; the muscles in his neck strained from his struggle and his breathing turned into a labored wheezing. He looked at Mace, silently appealing for help as he put one hand on his chest.
Mace shook his head, "Master Yoda, I am going to need your help here." He said calmly.
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"Get up, Obi-Wan." Anakin said as he entered the cockpit.
"What?"
"Get up;" Anakin repeated, "I'll take us out of here."
"Anakin, I think I can…." Obi-Wan started.
"Well, I don't; get up." Anakin cut him off.
"Please, don't fight about this; here, Master Anakin, take my seat." Zak interjected as he stood up.
Obi-Wan sighed and shook his head; Anakin gave Obi-Wan a look of smug satisfaction and sat down.
"How are you feeling?" Obi-Wan asked.
Anakin sighed, "I don't know; I feel like I've been through the ringer." He admitted.
"After what happened, I'm surprised you're still standing; but how are you here, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked as he pointed a finger at Anakin's head.
Anakin looked at him for a moment, sighed and shook his head, "I don't know; I'm not sure if I can ever get over what I've done." He answered and then looked away as tears welled up, blurring his vision.
With difficulty, Obi-Wan reached over and put his right hand on Anakin arm, "You have many friends who will help you do that, my brother; you are well-loved." He replied with heart-felt sincerity.
Anakin nodded but could not answer; Obi-Wan patted his arm before beginning the launch cycle. Anakin cleared his throat, "I can do it." He said as he brushed his hand over his eyes.
"Alright." Obi-Wan answered with a nod, "I would like you to check into the medical center when we get to Coruscant."
"Why? I'm just a little banged up." Anakin objected.
"You are alot banged up; humor me, will you?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Alright; if it will make you feel better, as long as you do the same." Anakin bargained.
"I will see the healers at the Temple." Obi-Wan promised.
"Not good enough; I threw you around pretty good." Anakin replied, shaking his head.
"Very well; if that's the only way." Obi-Wan agreed.
Anakin nodded in satisfaction, "What did Master Yoda say about Ferri?" He asked.
Obi-Wan hesitated, "Obi-Wan, what aren't you telling me?" Anakin asked when Obi-Wan didn't answer.
"His ribs are broken, Anakin." Obi-Wan answered, a little evasively.
"All of them? I broke all his ribs?" Anakin asked, dreading the answer.
Obi-Wan sighed, "Several of them." He told him.
"Oh, by the Force." Anakin exclaimed and put his head in his hands.
"I'm sorry; I should not have told you." Obi-Wan said.
"And you could not have lied to me either." Anakin replied.
"No, but I would rather you did not have this guilt piled on top of everything else." Obi-Wan countered.
"And there's more, isn't there; you're blocking me." Anakin realized.
"Haven't you heard enough?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Tell me the rest, or I'll push my way in and find it myself." Anakin threatened.
Obi-Wan looked at him skeptically, "You may be able to do that with Jedi Padawans and non-Jedi; but you cannot with me." He said.
"But I could make you very uncomfortable." Anakin warned.
"And you would do that just to learn something that you do not need to know?" Obi-Wan asked.
"I knelt on that boy's chest and broke his ribs; I think I have the right to know what other damage I did to him." Anakin answered.
"Master Yoda thought it best if you did not know…and I agree with him." Obi-Wan replied.
"Well, I think I'm a better judge of what's best for me; and I'm going to find out when we get home anyway, so you might just as well tell me now." Anakin said.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and sighed, "One of his lungs is punctured." He told him.
Anakin sat in shocked silence for several minutes, "Oh no; no, no, no, no." He finally replied just as Obi-Wan sent the ship into hyperspace.
"You can't blame yourself, Master Anakin." Zak said from the seat behind him, "You were not yourself."
"I'm sure that's a great comfort to Ferri right about now; and it will be reassuring to his parents when they are told what happened." Anakin answered sarcastically.
"Ferri already understands." Zak replied.
"Does he? Do you, Obi-Wan, as you sit there with half your arm ripped open?" Anakin anguished.
"Yes, Anakin." Obi-Wan answered immediately.
Anakin felt his fragile hold on his emotions slip, "I…I'm not feeling well; I think I'll go back and lie down for awhile. When….when we reach the Coruscant system, let me…let me know and….just let me know." He said as he stood up.
Obi-Wan put his hand out and took hold of his arm, "I will help you through this." He promised.
Anakin shook his head and smiled sadly as tears coursed down his cheeks, "After all I've done?" He asked.
Obi-Wan returned the smile as his eyes glistened, "You are my brother, Anakin." He said, his voice cracking.
Anakin nodded, unable to speak, and then pulled his arm from Obi-Wan's grasp and disappeared into the interior cabin.
Obi-Wan sighed heavily and shook his head as Zak moved into Anakin's vacated seat next to him, "He will be alright." Zak assured his master.
"I hope you are right; but then, you usually are." Obi-Wan replied, "And what of Ferri?"
Zak looked thoughtful for a moment and turned to Obi-Wan, "Their lives are tied together; what happens to Ferri will affect Master Anakin." He answered, a little puzzled.
"Then if you said Master Anakin will be alright, that must mean Ferri will be too." Obi-Wan deduced.
Zak shrugged, "I guess so." He said.
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Anakin groaned as he stretched out on one of the cabin bunks; it felt like a lifetime since he had last laid on anything resembling a bed. The memories of what he had done the past few days flashed through his mind and he fought to prevent himself from weeping openly. Why had he not just lost his memory instead of living that terrible nightmare? What purpose did it serve? Why had this happened to him now when everything in his life was coming together?
"Look to your brother, he will help you." Qui-Gon said.
"I know he wants to; but I don't see how he can. He has no idea…" Anakin replied.
"Does he not? He feels what you feel, Anakin; you are like one in that way." Qui-Gon answered.
"But he didn't do what I did." Anakin argued, "I might well have killed Ferri Cortis."
"But you did not, Anakin; nor did you seriously harm anyone even when you had the chance." Qui-Gon reminded him.
"I seriously harmed Ferri, Qui-Gon; and I killed that creature in the alley." Anakin countered.
"Yes, but the being in the alley meant to do you great harm and you did not kill Ferri." Qui-Gon told him.
"Well, I still should not have killed him; as for Ferri, I'll be sure to tell his parents that when they ask me what happened." Anakin answered with more than a hint of sarcasm.
"I know this will not be easy for you; that is why you must rely on Obi-Wan, the rest of the Jedi and me to help you. Do you not know how well-loved you are yet, Anakin?" Qui-Gon asked.
"Love is not the solution to everything." Anakin replied.
"Isn't it?" Qui-Gon asked.
Anakin sighed, tugged at his ill-fitting stolen tunic and wondered why Obi-Wan had set the climate controls on the ship so high. He sat up to pull the tunic off, but a wave of dizziness forced him back down; it dawned on him then that the uncomfortable warmth was not the result of the climate controls. He closed his eyes and let sleep take him.
"That's right, Anakin, sleep; and when you awake perhaps you will see things in a different light." Qui-Gon said.
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"Are you alright, Master?" Zak asked.
"Yes, I am; but Master Anakin is running a fever." Obi-Wan answered, "And considering what happened to him, it is certainly understandable."
"Maybe I should land the ship when we come out of hyperspace then." Zak suggested.
"Yes, maybe you should." Obi-Wan replied without hesitation; his arm, he realized, was beginning to bother him.
When the ship came out of hyperspace several hours later, Zak landed the ship on the medical center docking platform with little assistance from his now-feverish master. Having been contacted when the ship entered Coruscant's atmosphere, medical assistance was waiting and entered the ship as soon as Zak had lowered the boarding ramp. Anakin awoke as he was being carried into the medical center; he looked up to see a very concerned Obi-Wan walking beside him. It was obvious that his brother was in pain, but as Anakin reached out into his mind, he read only concern for him in his thoughts. Anakin smiled to reassure him and Obi-Wan put a hand on his arm and nodded. Padme's face appeared above him and he could see the worry there, "It's alright, my love." He assured her.
Within the hour, Anakin was resting comfortably as the drugs, administered to counteract the fever caused by his infected wounds, coursed through his system. Padme sat beside his bed as he slept while Obi-Wan, with his arm in a sling, stood outside watching them through the observation window. Mace came up and stood beside him, "You should not have gone to Mustafar alone." He said sternly.
Obi-Wan sighed, "Can we talk about this later?" He suggested wearily.
"Yes, in Council; I just wanted to let you know that I have not forgotten and the matter has not been settled." Mace answered.
"I understand." Obi-Wan replied, "How is Ferri?"
"Ferri is fighting an uphill battle." Mace told him.
"It is that serious?" Obi-Wan asked.
"His lung collapsed while we were in hyperspace; naturally, he panicked and it was all Master Yoda and I could do to calm him down so he could focus on breathing through his undamaged lung. He is in a bacta bath now and the lung is being drained." Mace explained.
"Oh dear. This is my fault, I should never have involved him in all this." Obi-Wan said with a shake of his head, "Have his parents been contacted?"
"Yes, they should be arriving sometime tomorrow." Mace replied.
"I will speak with them myself and explain what happened." Obi-Wan decided.
"Obi-Wan, the Council is as much to blame for this as you are; maybe more since we would not listen to Master Yoda's advice. And you are certainly not responsible for his being on Mustafar." Mace said.
Obi-Wan turned to look at him, "Surely you are not blaming Padme." He replied.
"Of course not; Padme did what she felt she had to do to help Anakin and Ferri did what he thought was necessary to protect her and help him; he was being a Jedi." Mace answered.
Obi-Wan sighed, "What a mess this has become." He stated.
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"Padme?" Anakin said groggily.
"Yes, my love; I'm right here." Padme replied as she gripped his hand.
"The babies, are they alright?" Anakin asked.
"Of course, Annie; they are in the Temple nursery." Padme answered, "Can't you feel them?"
Anakin closed his eyes for a moment and reached out through the Force, finding first Luke, then Leia and finally baby Hadrian, "Yes, yes, I feel them now."
"Just go back to sleep; you don't have anything to be concerned about." Padme told him.
"Ferri? Is Ferri alright?" Anakin asked.
"He is holding his own." Padme said.
Anakin turned away from her, "That's all? Just holding his own?" He asked.
"That is as much as can be expected at this point." Padme answered.
Anakin squeezed Padme's hand as he began to cry, "I'm sorry, Annie; I should not have told you." She said.
"I've made such a mess of things; I'm never going to be able to fix it all." He cried.
"Oh darling, how many times must we tell you that none of this was your fault." Padme assured him and then looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder to see Obi-Wan standing behind her, "Annie, I'm going to walk down the hall and check on Ferri for you; I'll be back in a few minutes."
Obi-Wan nodded as she stood up, then squeezed her arm and gave her a reassuring smile before taking her seat, "Go away, Obi-Wan." Anakin said.
"Why? So you can lie here feeling sorry for yourself?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Yes, go away." Anakin answered.
"Well, I'm not going to do that, my friend; so you'll just have to listen to me." Obi-Wan replied, "Padme was right about one thing; you cannot fix everything. You have to accept what has happened and understand that you were not in control during any of it; it's the only way you are going to be able to move on."
Anakin sighed heavily and turned to look at him, "I know; will you help me?" He asked.
Obi-Wan smiled, "Yes, my brother; that is why I am here." He answered.