Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII or its beautiful characters .. but I will one day ! x) It all belongs to SquareSoft. :salutes: -.-;;

Balamb Garden Amazing Race

Chapter Fourteen ll Tripping Home

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Testosterone is a fickle thing - and also very deadly, as the female participants of the Amazing Race found out at their own cost that strenuous morning. With the boys all eager to reach the finish line first, they were filled with some kind of insane energy and were moving much faster and with more gusto than was strictly necessary.

Boys.

---

"C'mon, Zee, keep going! It should really only take half an hour to go through this lake."

"...oh... kay..." Huff, puff.

---

"Oooh, going up the mountains, is really a lot of fun, going up the mountains, makes me want to ru - un - Sefie! ...Sefie? Hey, c'mon, speed it up, Sef! Hehehe, someone's a little slow today, eh?"

---

"Rinoa, if we don't pick up the pace they're gonna get in front of us!"

"Yeah... puff... if they're flying."

---

"Hey, slowpoke!" Seifer huffed back valiantly, heaving his legs with great effort, "Come look at the great... view?"

He took the last step over onto the top of the cliff and stopped short. Quistis, who was also breathless from the steep incline, walked right into him and cried out as she slipped on the sandy surface. Without even turning around Seifer's arm shot out and grabbed onto her firmly.

Quistis drew in a sharp breath, clutching onto her side, and looked up. What she saw made her insides plummet in dread and exasperation.

Stretching out in front of her was an ugly, yellowish-orangish-greyish-greenish wasteland. The very ugliness of it made her groan. Up ahead, only just visible, were the grey Vienne Mountains. She knew that just beyond that chain of dismal-looking dark cliffs was Trabia. Quistis dearly wished Dr Odine would take a useful whim to his head and invent a teleport already.

That man was good for nothing, honestly.

"GAH! It's a desert!"

While Seifer grumbled over being "cheated" of beautiful scenery and consulted his map, Quistis sat down on a rock and started eating their lunch. Judging by the position of the sun in the sky, it was past midday, and they had only climbed up one cliff - the Nortes Mountains of Esthar.

Actually, it wasn't only one cliff. That mountain had been terribly steep and high. It had taken a lot of energy and time to walk up the stupid thing, and she never wanted to see it again.

Should've chosen the Salt Lake route, she thought with a sigh, biting into an apple.

"You see, Quisty," Seifer crouched beside her and showed her the map, "We're here now - see, almost at the fold of the map - and we just have to walk down this cliff - "

"Walk back down?" Quistis yelped in disbelief.

" - across the forsaken desert, through those grey things up ahead, and then we'll be in the Trabia Crater!" With a defiant nod Seifer jerked the map down and took the half-bitten apple off the momentarily frozen Quistis.

"What?" he asked thickly through a loud, crunchy bite, noticing her stunned stare.

"You mean to tell me that we just spent over an hour climbing up this thing only to go back down again?" she cried rashly. Looking most nettled she snatched back her apple.

"Who do you think I am, Superman?" Seifer demanded, "So unless you can sprout wings and fly over there, we'll just have to walk down and across and up and down again. And give me another bite." He grabbed the almost-finished apple and looked at her scrupulously, "This is precisely why I don't take women with me on journeys."

She threw him a very scathing look and he lifted an eyebrow back, tossing the apple core over his shoulder.

"What?"

"You're a pig, Seifer."

"Just because I ate your apple?"

"No."

"Then why?" he persisted.

Quistis looked away, annoyed, "Forget it."

He gave her a piercing look but didn't pursue the matter any further. Instead, he got to his feet and said briskly, "Let's keep moving. If we're lucky we'll be able to cross the wasteland in under an hour."

Quite honestly, she couldn't believe he was suggesting they continue on their journey after the grueling trip up the cliff and only a five minute break. But deciding not to give him another reason to underestimate females, Quistis Trepe got to her tired feet silently and began to march back down again.

---

Meanwhile, the pink team was roaming around the Great Salt Lake.

"No, Zell, I'm not going to slide down that dinosaur!" Shizuka exclaimed firmly, staring, aghast, at the skeletal spine that descended down in front of her. She peeked over the edges and shuddered.

"Aww, but then that means we'll have to waste time walking around this gigantic fossil," Zell protested, "Listen, it's really easy. Just sit here, push off and - whee - you'll slide down the spine. Very thrilling."

"And what if I slip off?" she gasped, pointing at the ground below, "Do you have any idea how high up we are? That'd hurt!"

"That's why you don't slip off," Zell said wisely.

She shook her head stubbornly, "No way! Come on, the sooner we start walking around this thing the sooner we'll be at the bottom."

"But, if we just slide down the dinosaur then we'll be at the bottom in like, five seconds."

"No! It's too dangerous."

Zell looked at her in vexation, contemplating what to do with this newfound stubborn streak in her. Getting an idea, he smiled wickedly and sauntered up behind her casually.

"Zell, what are - ahhhh, put me down!" she shrieked fearfully as he picked her up easily and set her down on the top of the spine, "Zell, don't you dare push me down - ARGHH!"

"Whoa - !"

Yelping, Zell himself was also jerked head-over-heels as Shizuka was grabbing onto him - both screaming, the two tumbled and flipped down the spine of the dinosaur clumsily, but miraculously bounced on the skeletal structure the entire way. That is, until near the end when they were thrown off onto the whitish ground, their bags cushioning some of the fall.

Feeling as though he had received several blows to the head, Zell sat up feebly, groaning. Some feet away, Shizuka was also moaning weakly, clutching at her side. As Zell's head cleared, he began to shake with laughter.

"Hahaha... see, we're here already."

Shizuka lifted her head nimbly, holding onto one side of it. She frowned at him as his laughter grew louder.

He caught her eye and immediately piped down.

"Ahhh... it's not funny, is it?" he asked feebly, some of the chuckles still not quite dispersed. Getting to his feet, Zell walked over and helped her up. She clasped onto his hand reluctantly, still piercing him with a glare.

"You could've hurt us, you insane daredevil!" she suddenly cried out, and without warning she swung her bag so that it hit him. Zell yelled in alarm, flinging his arms up, and began to run away as she chased him, still brandishing her bag.

"I'M SORRYYYYYYY!"

---

"Stupid - flies!" Growling in frustration, Squall swatted at his face viciously, "GAH! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"There are about a hundred on your back," Rinoa said in an amused voice, walking behind him, "Here, let me get them for you - RA!" She pounced forward and thumped his bag; Squall let out a yelp as he was suddenly shoved forward.

"Ahhh, they're getting in my face," Rinoa squealed, squeezing her eyes shut as the flies flew off in a mob, "What we really need is some insect repellant. Or you could just perspire less."

Squall was dumbfounded as he continued walking along the yellow sandstone, "Perspire less? How am I supposed to manage that? UGH!" he agitatedly swiped at some flies again.

"Hmm, I don't know... maybe we could slow down," Rinoa hinted heavily, struggling to keep up with his quick pace. Her feet were aching badly and her muscles were all bruised; she felt as if her limbs were about to drop off and thought longingly of her white bed in her dormitory. It has to end soon... we'll get back in a few hours... it'll all be over and I can look back on this and laugh.

I wish.

"But then the others will get in front us. That fifty point bonus can be the difference between me wearing a pair of pants or donning a skirt, Rinoa," Squall said emphatically, glancing up at the sky as he said this. He knew it was already getting late in the afternoon; they had spent all day skirting around the Esthar Grandidi Forests. It was a terribly confusing place, and quite dangerous as there were many steep, small cliffs that were covered in thick, green forests. Just a little while before lunch he and Rinoa had spotted the tiny, moving figures of Selphie and Irvine way, way below them under the green canopy of trees. This had been the cue for Squall to start his mega-sprinting-spree.

A breathless, panting Rinoa desperately hurrying in his wake had even considered persuading him that wearing a skirt wasn't that bad.

"Look, insect repellant!" she exclaimed triumphantly, wrestling a spray can out of her bag. She was, evidently, a little bored. "Wait, hold still, Squall... I'll spray all those flies off you."

"Wait - what?" Squall said in alarm, whirling around and almost knocking her over with his bag, "Hey, don't... I hate the smell of insect repellant - ahhh!"

It was too late; Rinoa had started spraying his bag enthusiastically. However, as he whirled around, some of the spray got into his eyes and Squall scrunched up his face, gasping in pain.

"It stings!" He thrashed around blindly, stumbling on the sandstone pathway. Rinoa's eyes widened but before she could take action he had walked right off the edge and pulled her down with him, yelling.

"AHHHH!" Rinoa screamed as she fell through air, the wind whipping her hair into her face.

Squall felt and heard twigs and branches breaking underneath him as he fell through the treetops and landed on hard ground, the wind knocked out of him. As he impacted the ground, he heard some odd, flapping noises and something squawked loudly.

"Wark, wark!"

Keeling onto his side with great effort, he opened his eyes slowly to behold two huge Chocobos peering down at him. They immediately squawked, startled, and quickly waddled away, ruffling their great yellow feathers.

Squall groaned, rubbing his sore wrist, and sat up. It took him a little while to realise where he was, finally; the Chocobo Holy Forest. His icy blue eyes lit up happily when he recognised the little, peaceful forest, inhabited by yellow Chocobos and Chicobos alike and lighted by emerald shafts of sunlight between the treetops.

And then fear seized him.

"Rinoa?" he called in a small voice, looking around and finding no sign of her. His heart began to race and his breathing came out in panicked, quick stabs as Squall leapt to his feet (wincing at the pains that shot up through him like a bullet) and called her name again.

"I'm here," came her tiny response from out toward the side, and Squall felt the iron hand clutching his heart release it at once, making breathing once again easy. Thanking his lucky stars, Squall raced over to find her lying groggily in some thick green bushes. She sat up wearily, brushing leaves out of her messy hair and looking irritated. Squall bit back a smile. It was funny to see her usually shiny black hair all tangled up and frizzy, and her usually flawless, creamy skin to be dirt-smeared and a little pink from sunburn.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, settling down on the grassy area beside her.

She grimaced, "Yeah... lucky these bushes here were soft." She yanked off her bag and leant back, sighing deeply, "Can we puh-lease take a break?"

Squall nodded, watching her exhausted countenance closely, "Yeah. Listen..." he added softly, "Sorry if I've pushed you really hard today. I guess all of us really want to win this forsaken race, after all."

Rinoa chuckled with a victorious smile, "I suppose that's a good thing... considering how much you guys were opposed to this in the first place."

Squall smiled reminiscently, subconsciously caressing his blue bandana, "And look, we're here." He looked over at the foraging Chocobos, "All we have to do now is pick one and ride it back to Trabia, and from there we can make our way to Balamb by boat or something."

"Oooh, this means we can do our last challenge," Rinoa said with flourish, rummaging through Squall's bag and pulling out a ripped envelope.

B.G. Amazing Race
Challenge
68. Take a photo of BOTH teammates with either a) a Chocobo OR b) a fossil.

Rinoa began to giggle, "I can't believe we fell in here. Some graceful entrance we made."

"And damage to the trees," Squall mumbled, looking up at the ripped branches forlornly. He took out his digital camera and held out one hand, "Come on, let's pose with the Chocobos."

Rinoa bounded to her feet jubilantly, "Happy snaps!"

"Yeah... happy."

"Aw, c'mon! Selph's right, you don't smile much, do you? Brooding boy."

"I'm not brooding."

"Alright, then make the victory sign!" Grinning cornily, Rinoa stuck up two fingers like a true Japanese tourist. Squall eyed her hand with a frightened look in his eyes.

"No way."

"Wark, wark!" their Chocobo chirruped, nudging Squall's hand with its head.

"See, even Boko wants you to do it!"

---

The yellow team wasn't too far behind the blue team, but was having trouble navigating their way around the little cliffs and big forests. ("Thirty-four bottles of beer on the wall, thirty-four bottles of beer! You take one - whoa! Slippery!") Meanwhile, the red team had crossed the barren wasteland ("CHAAARGE!") and climbed into the Trabia Canyon ("Hey, this place looks familiar... it looks like a scene from this old sorceress-and-knight movie..."), just as the pink team drew closer to Fishermen's Horizon, walking along the abandoned train track.

When they reached FH, they made a beeline for the ferry wharf and checked the timetable for trips being made back to Balamb.

"What? FIVE-THIRTY PM?" Zell growled in fury and punched the wooden floor in his temper; several people looked round, startled, and the man recoiled tentatively.

"That's like an hour from now!"

"W - w - we're sorry, sir. Our services only run every hour and a half."

"Tch. Well, is there another way to get to Balamb? By vessel or something?" Zell demanded of the poor man.

"I'm sorry, sir, but you need to book two days in advance for a private vessel," the man told him timidly, "There's a waiting lounge in here, if you like, there's coffee and a television and magazines..."

"Thank you so much for your help," Shizuka said over Zell gratefully, smiling at the man. She took Zell's hand and pulled him away, somewhat to the man's relief.

"Hey, Zell, don't get so riled up," she told him gently while he glowered at the white ferries bobbing on the blue water, "We'll just have some fun here until it's time for the ferry. We're most likely ahead of the others, anyway."

"Yeah... we did take the shorter route..."

"C'mon, show me around," Shizuka said smilingly, looking around hopefully, "I've never been to FH before, unless you count the time we crashed into it... but I was too afraid of the events happening with Galbadia that I never left Garden."

Zell cracked a smile as she led him along, holding onto his hand, "I remember that... that was when they fired missiles at us. Seems like ages ago."

Rather hungry after their lunch that had been eaten hours ago, the pink team stopped by at a cafe and finally tried some of the seafood pie Seifer was so fanatical about. They chewed on it apprehensively, looking at each other over the table.

"I guess... this is alright."

"Must - drink - water."

Finally, they got on their ferry as the sky began darkening, the beautiful horizon in the distance. Shizuka looked out of the window dreamily while Zell was slumped in the seat beside her, his face covered. The ferry rocked and bobbed along the surface of the sea, and Shizuka was never more glad to have a seat underneath her.

"Zell? What's wrong?"

He uncovered his face to look at her mournfully, "This ferry... is moving... so slow!" With a strangled sound Zell put his hands to his face again. Shizuka let a small sigh escape her lips and she turned back to her window vantage. She really wasn't fussed about the race. In her mind, she was a winner already, having fully reaped the benefits of the event.

Shizuka glanced down at the dejected Zell again and wistfully wondered if he felt the same.

Nah... there was way too much testosterone in the boys for them to be fully happy if they didn't win.

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A/N: Aww, no Selphie/Irvine in here! Don't worry, we'll see them next chapter - The Final Showdown. xD Hope it's not a total anti-climax! And cookies for my reviewers, who just make my day so rosy and bright. (x YAY, EXAMS ARE OVER. (victory dance) In fact, I'm already receiving my results. Hmm .. doing okay. xD Thanks to my Heavenly Father! Hehe, flies are annoying creatures, aren't they? On the hike, we spent like twenty minutes just hitting each other on the back and spraying AeroGuard everywhere. - msq.