" Couldn't things get any more worse? "
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" Chilly night isn't it? " Nott commented as he sniffed the air.
" Yeah…" Draco's voice trailed off as he looked at the fire. " So, where is it? "
Nott raised an eyebrow and grabbed something from his inner coat pocket. Draco looked at the journal on the table. Nott had so carelessly thrown it on the dusted and creaky redwood table as they sat in the stillness of the room. No one else was around, Nott had made sure, and Draco made it very sure.
" This is it? " Draco's brows shot up a little. It was nothing more than an ordinary-looking notebook, something a child would scribble in; a teenager in love would disclose her secrets in, something a man like Snape would keep in secrecy with great lengths…
" Well…yes, as a matter of a fact, that's just about it…" Nott grinned. " You were expecting something covered in Basilisk scales? " he laughed. " That's just about it. Plain to the eye, like what Lord Voldemort would have wanted. "
" Right. " Draco's eyes skimmed over the leather bound notebook once more. He took it with one hand and flipped the pages open. The pages were yellowish, it faintly stank of sewage and dust and excrement- rat excrement most likely. " It's empty. "
" Like what Lord Voldemort would expect, " he said with a nod. " It was good of Snape to leave that lying around his old house- Blaise wouldn't even dare set foot there. Naturally, to my advantage. "
" You never liked him. "
" Why, that is correct. But I like you well enough to meet with you like this, without their inquisitive ears and fervent eyes. It's gotten quite annoying, all the displays of devotion by- who was that? Oh that 'woman'. "
Draco gave a diminutive smile. So he wasn't the only one. Thank Merlin's balls for that. " Which is why I should thank you, " he replied.
" Don't thank me too soon, " he said. " You don't even know what's in there- you can't see anything, am I correct? "
" Yes. "
" Well that's because you haven't shed a drop of 'innocent blood' yet, or any blood for that matter. Blaise has already done so, the poor sod was so proud of his usual supercilious self- but anyway, yes, he has spilled blood, the others will be eager to do the same. Before you know it, there'll be murder screaming in the headlines of the pages of every wizard magazine known to man. "
" Something the master wouldn't dream of doing yet…"
" You are right for that matter, " Nott said. " But everyone who's been let on in the secret will kill for this. Even you will be forced to kill. You've never killed anyone in your life. "
" You just had to remind me. "
" Of course. Your reputation's at stake here, and so is your life. Blaise has done a suicide undertaking on trusting you again, something I wouldn't do if I were him- but…he respects you. So it's providence on your part that you have such charisma to capture everyone's confidence, even if you have had a terrible record on your services. "
" Thanks for reminding me, again. "
" Any time, " Nott smiled as he stroked his chin. " So…any amazing plans? I do recall you were brilliant with details back at Hogwarts…"
" I was reckless, impudent, full of myself, " Draco corrected with a small grin. " So I had thought my plan was brilliant, but it had its flaws, something I should not have allowed…And there was something that prevented me from killing Dumbledore, something greater than fear. It came as a late realization that I respected the man- "
" You do know resurrecting what remains of him might eradicate you, right? "
" That is correct. I've got no fall back plan…I believe they want me dead. You? "
" What? Want you dead? Perhaps…you would be of use to me. That's how our camaraderie's always been anyway, using each other…so I guess I wouldn't want you dead. "
" You guess. "
" I believe, " he corrected his previous statement. Nott conjured two glasses and they appeared on the table. " Red wine? "
Draco nodded and a jug of red wine appeared and began pouring itself on the two goblets, filling each almost to the brim. He eyed his glass for quite some time. " Perhaps Voldemort would want me dead, after all…"
" Perhaps, " Nott took a sip from his glass. " Ah…good year, this one. You know, I've been drinking more wine than I have in all my years of under aged drinking. "
" What do the first pages say? " Draco asked placing the book back on the table.
Blaise leaned forward to grab it. He flipped for the first empty page. " Snape's a genius. Made his own spells and stuff…you sure you're not seeing anything at all? "
" None, I assure you. " Draco eyed the notebook once more, seeing only a vacant, filthy and old looking piece. " What do you see? On the first page? "
" Just his title. Half-blood Prince…" Nott began. " The first page already says a lot, although he had been careful enough to make sure it still won't be easy for anyone who's discovered this one. Still in codes, cryptic messages- ancient runes, actually. Something I'm not good at. Some of them are in old English and some are written in prose style…that's just about it. "
" Ancient runes you say? "
" Yes. Ancient runes, and Merlin-knows-what these others are. That's why I need your help. I can't solve this on my own anymore, I've given up. Blaise is too mediocre for this, " Nott said with a smile. " And I wouldn't want to show the contents of these to the others yet. "
" Mediocre? Really, Nott. The terms you use…" Draco grinned. " And I'm not exactly good in ancient runes…my understanding in runes is comparable to a muggle teen's understanding on who Shakespeare is. "
" At least you got to that level. I didn't even take that class at all. My understanding's comparable to that of a kindergartener's, " he laughed. Then he flipped a few more pages open. He stopped on one, and pointed to a page as empty as the others to Draco's eyes. " Merlin…all I've got are simple 'riddles'….amazing how Snape used word play here. I've come to understand that there are some artifacts that we need, though. Here's a passage that entails we need blood, sacrificial blood, half-blood- blimey, I don't get it now…Half-blood? What does that mean? I can't very well see the remaining pages….something's wrong. I've done my part and sacrificed the 'blood of the innocent' and my own at that…but we can't get to read the other pages…even Blaise. "
" Perhaps the notebook needs the blood of someone who truly is half-blood, " Draco mused as he leaned back to the head rest.
" Perhaps…" Nott frowned a little, the first serious look Draco had seen for today, well in a long time, actually. Even when they met with the rest of the 'new Deatheaters', Nott still took the trouble to smirk genially, much to the chagrin of Blaise and the others, and to the utter amusement of Draco. He read the rest of the entry, " Such sacrifice which indeed lies only in the hands of those who are willing to give what is due, blood which is blood, blood equals blood. "
Draco's brows furrowed as well. Now that had to get someone thinking...Would he play a lack wit? Read between the lines? Or would he…just kill everyone he wanted to kill as a safe measure? A fall back plan to ensure his life? He had never given his life that much thought since this whole thing began….everything was about everyone else's protection, everything was about Hermione's protection…
" Got anything in mind for this little riddle? " Nott asked with a heavy sigh. " Merlin, I knew I should have taken that entrance exam to teach English at Durmstrang. Mother was fecking right. "
Draco laughed shortly. " Why would Snape need a journal? " he wondered aloud. " Why would he have one when he knew the War was going on? Lord Voldemort confided to him among everyone else…even though he died during the War…" Draco's voice trailed off. " And everything's about blood. Hell, it seems like Snape had an undisclosed fixation for this sort of red…"
" Perhaps he has his selfish reasons. Everyone wants to live one way or another, Malfoy, " Nott told him as he examined a few more pages of the journal. " Self-preservation, his self-preservation, to our advantage…"
" To everyone who's eager to please Lord Voldemort, " Draco added. " I don't know what your basis is for even joining us, even though your father's been killed and your mother's faced an inquiry a few years back. "
" You're telling me you want to please Lord Voldemort now? " Nott raised an eyebrow. " Come now Draco, in the eyes of those who remain dedicated to him, you're a fucking deserter. They'll never trust you all too easily, but they can still trust me, no matter how small my chances are. "
" You're correct on that account…" Draco murmured. " Which leads me to show how desperate I should be in front of you and everyone else- just to gain the favor of Lord Voldemort once more. Being the sacrificial lamb to have him alive and installed as the most feared dark wizard again would prove to be a daunting responsibility. Blaise will do anything to keep me alive, until Lord Voldemort himself gives the order that I should be killed. "
Nott was quiet as he looked at Draco. Draco looked as cool as an ice sculpture. The man was full of possibilities, even better than his father….wait…definitely better than his father. If the others viewed Draco's demeanor as negative in Hogwarts, he saw this as a positive one. The unruffled effect was starting to rub on him now, and he was mindful that he now saw Draco in a slightly different way. Whereas he respected Draco's subtle domineering ways before, but hated his overall appeal, he had come to a realization that Draco's self-confidence would save more than his own skin. Draco gave a whole fresh look to the cool demeanor he displayed and Nott admired him from afar. The closest thing anyone got to Draco Malfoy, as the persistent rumors and jokes at Hogwarts had circulated, was underneath him if you were female and at the soles of his shoes if you were a male he disliked.
He used to wonder why Draco had such idiots for cronies. Crabbe and Goyle had repeated more than twice for a single Hogwarts school year alone, and that was probably when Draco and the rest of his batch mates at Hogwarts were still in grade school. Pansy and Blaise were other nuisances to Nott. Pansy, without a doubt was a pretty picture, a brilliant personification of money and looks and lineage- never mind the self-important personality or the controversies she got herself into most of the time. The shadowy haired beauty had made a good time seeing others in misery, and although still a Slytherin quality, Nott didn't like it that much. Blaise was the quintessential ladies man, tall, rugged, dark and rich- filthy rich….also a crony of Draco's; although Nott knew that Blaise would rather die a horrible death than admit this to Draco and to everyone else. Blaise had this 'I'm my own boss' attitude, but Nott knew Blaise looked up to Draco more than Draco realized.
" Do you really think you'll die? " Nott found himself asking. Draco eyed him, his cool gray eyes suddenly grayer than ever. Were they sad now? Were they masking his fear? The eyes had always been Nott's key to seeing how one thought or felt- and he felt disturbed he couldn't read through Draco entirely. Damn it.
Draco finally gave a shrug. " It's not important. "
" It is if Hermione knows, " Nott said in a know-it-all voice. Draco's expression softened; something Nott hardly ever got to see. So Hermione was-
" She won't know. I trust you'll be discreet, " Draco's voice was that of a warning to him. Draco saw him nod twice and he smiled at Draco, a smile Draco couldn't place as sarcasm or something like….sympathy. Now this was new. He had never seen Theodore Nott sympathetic in his life.
" Of course I'll be discreet, " he said. " Slytherin's honor. "
" Right. Slytherin's trust on you. We're all in this together, eh? " Draco watched the fire burn the logs. The wood crackled in the furnace and ashes spewed forth from the large fire and onto the carpet.
" We're all in this together, " Nott's voice echoed once more. There was a different gleam in his eyes as Draco finished what remained of his wine. He gave a triumphant smile and finished his own glass. " We're all bloody in this together. "
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Ron walked down Knockturn Alley careful to mind his own business- well at least that was how he wanted to appear. Just another curious soul in Knockturn Alley, another wizard who fancied a few brushes with dark magic and the like…He saw the old Borgin and Burkes boutique up ahead and was surprised to read the sign said 'closed'.
What the-? Ron frowned and proceeded to turn to another alley, one that would lead back to Diagon Alley. Closed? Why would it be closed? He eyed the dark windows and saw that there was no one inside, any sign of the new owner at all- there was none! Ginny couldn't have gotten it wrong…she was practically part of a newspaper that never lied!
A new management…perhaps he could get information through the ministry? A visit to the ministry of wizarding establishments would do nice now…but- damn it! He grit his teeth in annoyance. Just when he wanted to play detective…
Just then he saw a man walk up to the store entrance. He quickly hid behind a stack of tall crates as he continued to stare at the newcomer. No one seemed to pay much attention to the newcomer. Apparently, this was the store owner. The new management…
" Thank you Ginny! " he said under his breath.
The man took out a key and as if he knew there was someone watching him, kept his eyes on both eyes constantly. His hands were doing all the work at the stubborn door and he shook the knob till it finally opened. With one last glance at his back, he entered the shop. Ron watched for a few seconds, wondering if he should go in or not. His instincts told him to stay behind his stack of trusty crates, so he hid.
A full two minutes later, the anxious looking man went out once more, carrying a little package wrapped in brown paper. He quickly shoved it into the folds of his robe as he locked the establishment once more. A second later, he was walking away. Ron stared at the thin looking man, his mind racing with thoughts.
That little parcel could be a saving grace.
Now if only he knew what it was…?
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Hermione was staring at him, her face was tear-streaked, and there was a line of blood on one side of her cheek. Was she in pain? She wasn't saying anything. He reached out for her to touch her; to tell her everything would be alright, to ask her what was wrong. What was wrong?
" Hermione? What's wrong? " he asked, almost trembling at the sight of her looking so fragile, so alone. " Hermione, please tell me what's wrong, who hurt you Hermione? "
She shook her head, her voice choked with her tears. She looked at him and shook her head again. " You did, you hurt me Draco. You did this to me…" And she opened her blouse slowly and Draco reeled back in horror. He gasped. " You did this to me- you…"
He shook his head, unable to take his eyes away from the gaping hole at the upper left corner of her chest. Her heart was gone! She was bleeding like hell! She took a step closer to him and he froze in place.
She was smiling now; Hermione was smiling at him, giving him little kisses that meant so much to him. " Draco, I still love you. " And her face changed to that of someone else's.
His mother now. " Your father- we're prisoners forever, Draco. He'll never let us go…" She was crying hard, her mascara was running down her cheeks, her mother's lower lip was bloody. She was black and blue all over. " He'll live again Draco- he'll live again in you…you're becoming like you father…he's alive in you…"
Ron Weasley was ferociously pointing a finger at him. " You son of a bitch! You think you're getting the paramount of both worlds now? Because you've got Hermione's confidence and the confidence of your Deatheaters? They want you dead, you son of a bitch! They want you dead! "
Blaise. " Why, my best buddy in the whole wide- wait a minute- aren't you supposed to be dead? I planned to have you killed…oh well; I can always kill you again, with the help of everyone else who wants to see you in wretchedness. "
Pansy. " If you had married me- I would've made you the happiest man in the whole world. But you just had to throw me away! And now look at you! A fucking horcrux, a joke to the purebloods! Only proves my husband's a whole lot better than you! "
Nott. " Malfoy, I wanted you dead the moment I first saw you. I didn't really think you'd buy my 'respect' bullshit on you, but, you did! Fortunate me, after all... Not only do I get to see you suffer, I also get to see the one person you love the most, kill you! "
Hermione again. She was smiling as she held up a shiny dagger. It glinted above him, and he stared in horror, in slow motion as the dagger began its descent. The snake entwined on the dagger suddenly moved and hissed at him, its jeweled emerald eyes glaring at him, and he felt like he had been petrified, he couldn't move!
" This won't hurt a bit, " Hermione said delicately as she kissed his lips, a Judas kiss. " I love you too much to even see you cry out in pain…I love you so much, I'd kill you just to prove it…"
Draco switched on the lamp on his bedside. He breathed in heavily, running shaky hands over his blonde hair. He was sweating profusely. The nightmares had always seemed so real. So real…Hermione's voice was so real…I love you…three simple words that meant everything…three simple words that could destroy his concentration….all it takes is a nightmare to keep the blood flowing…keep the pain fresh…
He looked at the clock near him. The red digits screamed out that it was still two in the morning. And he knew he couldn't sleep again. He wouldn't dare. Even in sleep, he was taunted by the memory of Hermione's voice telling him how much he meant to her…he loved her. He knew it. He had been trying to reject it, but he loved her. That feeling alone prevailed as he sat unaccompanied in his bed, wondering where all of this would lead. Wondering how he would solve his problems. Wondering if he would live through it and tell it straight to Hermione's face that he felt more than just plain 'like' for her.
Was he carving out a destiny for himself? A destiny he didn't want? And he felt trapped…who wouldn't? Hermione meant everything now, but so did his mother's life…He had been avoiding wizardry for more than a year, and here they were, here he was…a slave to the invisible chains of the memory of Lord Voldemort…Never- since the day Lord Voldemort spoke last- never did it cross his mind that he would actually see him alive again, but now, if things went well, he would live again because of him! He was a key to resurrecting the one man almost everyone in the wizarding world wanted to stay dead!
" I should be happy, " he thought bitterly as he sat in silence. " Not everyone gets to be a horcrux, let alone be Voldemort's horcrux. Aunt Bellatrix would have killed for this…"
And he recalled the night he had almost killed Dumbledore, recalled the night Snape saved his cowardly ass, and recalled the night he found out that his mother had been in a pact with Snape to keep him alive and protected. Bellatrix had been an unenthusiastic collaborator to the spell that his mother and Snape made- all for him, just for him…he couldn't very well see his mother hurt again, not after what she had gone through…she was all he had left, what remained of the 'perfect pureblood' family.
But would he be prepared to actually shed innocent blood? Sure, he had killed, had used an unforgivable curse or two, but that was when he had switched to Harry Potter's faction, the 'good side' and had used it against his former comrades, used it against the Deatheaters, against his father's ideology. Now that he knew that Blaise was behind all that false evidence of his father being alive again, would he go through the lengths of betraying them just to clear the Malfoy name from this latest uprising? But his father would've been proud that Draco was in this if he was still alive, Draco thought.
Anything for the Dark Master, anything for Lord Voldemort, that was probably his father's motto in living. Never mind the apprehension Narcissa felt for both of them before, never mind if Draco died, Lord Voldemort would reward them greatly with gifts beyond price if it was all done in his name and successfully. So his father had died, still with the belief that he would be greatly rewarded- rewarded where? The next world? It was a silly notion and Draco had been glad to have finally taken the right side….or was it the right side? Suddenly he began having his doubts…Suppose he had taken Lord Voldemort's side all the way, would he still be alive right now? Harry Potter would have killed him without batting an eyelash, so would everyone else with him.
Survival was survival. Draco had done a suicide mission on joining Harry Potter's cause and the rest of those who believed in him and were against the injustices of Lord Voldemort and his circle. And now- now, he was doing it again. Another suicide mission, this time not to kill Voldemort, but to resurrect him. He would die either way, if he joined Blaise or not, but his mother and Hermione came first, and he would never let anyone lay a finger on the two of them.
Snape had gone through actually keeping his guarantee to his mother, the Fidelius charm went to the grave, since Bellatrix had not even divulged this, she had not been given time by Lupin, as Lupin had killed her before hand. Snape had been killed a few moments after Bellatrix's death, by none other than Lord Voldemort himself, branded as a disappointment- a deserter, despite Snape's valiant efforts.
So no one knew, only he knew that Snape had taken additional lengths to keep him alive, for Snape had not even told Lord Voldemort of this…but he would be soon resurrecting the one man his father and the rest of the Deatheaters had so worshipped and everyone else had feared, even his mother had feared Lord Voldemort despite being pureblooded and married to a fanatical member.
Would Lord Voldemort know of Narcissa's treachery to him when she had done that Fidelius charm with Snape and had made Bellatrix their secret keeper? He had his ways- he would find out, but as long as he wasn't resurrected yet, his mother and Hermione were at their safest. Only then would he feel the dread for their lives when Voldemort would begin to doubt him- he weighed himself….perhaps he still had the upper hand against Blaise? It seemed that Blaise wanted to be the favorite, something Draco knew wouldn't happen all too easily…
A dread in him rose higher than before, the fear of killing someone innocent, the fear of seeing Hermione as he had seen her in his dreams; heartless with the malicious intent of killing him herself, the fear of seeing his mother all beaten up, the fear of seeing Blaise and Nott rise against him, overpowering him despite his evident talent for dueling and hexes. He had never felt this alone in his entire life, even his own self-confidence was slowly ebbing away now. He was playing a martyr, a saint! A goddamned hypocrite to his own fears!
" Couldn't things get any more worse? " he finally murmured in frustration, in desperation.
He had no idea.
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A/N: okay, i'm feeling chippy today. happy chippy. please do review? i promise the next chapter will be worth your time. i only got seven reviews for the last chapter, not much, but at least some still cared to leave a review. so thank you for reading again, and please don't forget to leave your comments or sugesstions? oh yeah, i've been to the doctor yesterday, and something went wrong with the results. the doctor says my kidneys have a slight infection (great. more expenses and stress for my parents...sometimes, i want to die you know). Geez, i'm sickly, aren't i? but i know i'll get better soon enough