Pounding, throbbing, the sensation in my head was enough to churn the stomach. I grabbed a nearby trashcan, gagging, with no return on the effort. I felt my skin, cool and clammy to the touch. Where was I? The walls were stark white, the ground a speckled linoleum. I stood up to get a better bearing, and then I saw it, the windows, they were barred. I nearly fumbled running to the door, heavy wood slammed closed after me. A woman sitting at a desk, unassuming, her face locked onto her computer screen. I grasped the counter above the desk, looking down at her, spilling panic-tinged words I helplessly stumbled across. "Ma'm, um, excuse me?" She looked up, her eyes glazed as if she were looking right through me. "Ah yes, Mr. Potter, I expect you're feeling better after your treatment?"

What treatment? Was she mad?

"Please return to your room and the doctor will be with you shortly."

"You don't understand, I can't be here, I have..."

Wait, where was I supposed to be? I know I have something to do, a place I belong but... where?

The floor was cold, I rubbed my arms for warmth when "Agh!" I couldn't help but wince as I looked down. Bandages and they were tinged with..blood?

What in the bloody hell is going on

I entered the room again, sitting on the side of the bed. Only now did I realize how uncomfortable the padding was. Bandages, I couldn't take my eyes off them. A moment of hesitation struck me, but eventually, I unhooked the metal clasp holding the dressing together. It seemed like it took ages to unfurl the tight wrapping. Once it was off, there was nothing between me and a realization I didn't know I wouldn't want to make. I could see past the gauze, which had shifted underneath the dressing. Removing the rest of the blood-soaked padding, the whole picture came to light. Though I had glimpsed a wound at first, I now could see it-the perfect, precise line. My hand trembled above it, tracing the dried blood surrounding it. I hastily undressed the other side, only to find a mirror image of the other arm. I could feel tears stinging my eyes, frustration, confusion, no outlet for it. A knock on the door broke the focus on my distress.

"Hello, I'm doctor Riger, how are you feeling Harry?"

Like I need a fucking explanation

"A bit loopy, really. Doctor, what's going on?" I knew my voice betrayed me. I was trying so hard to sound calm, it was inauthentic, hurried. The doctor paused, pursing his lips, and furrowing his brow. I couldn't help but feel as if he were digging for the right words to say. "You'll be staying with us for a bit Harry, we need to monitor your progress after the treatment." I felt numb, the more I tried to think of anything besides what was currently going on, the more I realized how vague things were. "Could you count to fifty for me?" I did so, quickly. "Could you tell me the alphabet?"

Why would he think I couldn't do these simple tasks?

I obliged, once again. "Good, good. Now can you tell me where you are?" I looked around again, taking stock of all I had seen until this point. Then I remembered, he's a doctor. "A hospital? But why?" Dr. Rigor gave a solemn half smile. "Well, you see Harry, you gave everyone quite a scare. You hurt yourself, there were things going on in your mind for a very long time that were dark, pervasive, that wouldn't let you alone. With the recommendation from your wife, we were able to get permission to perform a new treatment. It's similar to the obliviate spell, but don't worry, it doesn't completely wipe your memory. It's designed to remove only that which tortures the mind. We're hoping to see wonderful results from you, though things may take some time to become completely clear." I could feel my head spin, like a carousel I couldn't get off. Nausea came back, and I sent a hand down to hold my stomach. I tried to think back, think of my life, how I got here, and who I was. It was only coming back in pieces, though. School, a fight, and friends whose faces I couldn't recall. I worked doing something to help people, I remember falling in love with someone, whose hair was red. No, blond. No-ah, there was no use. "Doctor no, please, you can't leave me like this. Doctor!" I was frenzied, my heart was beating out of my chest. Complete lack of control, I was losing my grip. The doctor backed away from me, but I grabbed his coat. His eyes widened in fear, and suddenly, the rage inside me began to die. I dropped his coat, the fabric falling back against his side. "We're doing all we can to help you, Harry. Please, believe that." He grabbed the door, turning to look at me again. "I'll send a nurse in, to re-wrap your wounds." And then he was gone.

I'd never felt so alone.

Ring. Ring. Ring. It's the fourth time today I've called, surely that bloody woman will get tired of hearing her phone go off. "Hello." She spat it, said it like a statement, she knew who it was. "Tell me where he is." I tried to stay calm, but she'd already been trying my patience. "Where is who?" The smart tone in her voice, she was trying to get a rise out of me. If that's what she truly wanted, I'd be more than happy to oblige. "Where the fuck is he Ginny, don't play stupid. I've been calling nonstop, you couldn't even have the decency to answer?" I could almost imagine her on the other side, red hair falling around her face, a smirk playing on her lips. "Somewhere safe, that's all you need to know." I didn't even think about it, I slammed my fist against the wall hard enough to leave an indent in the sheetrock. "Ginny I need to get to him, please. I'm begging you!" A moment of silence passed between us two. "It doesn't matter Malfoy, he won't remember you anyway." I could feel my heart leap to my throat,

She didn't, she couldn't

"No way Ginny, you wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I Draco? Anything to get him out from under your claws."

"You fucking bitch! What do you mean by 'my claws?' I was there for him when he needed me, in ways you couldn't be! You're fucking his mind under the pretense that it'll help him, it's not though, is it? You just can't stand me!"

"I cared about him long before you came back 'round! I was there Draco, I was always there for him! And then you come and think you can whisk him away? Take advantage of him in his darkest time? I won't let you. I won't let you have him."

"Don't blame me for your broken marriage! I was trying to save him, Ginny! You're so blinded by your own passion, you can't see the fucking truth."

The line clicked.

I hurled it, the phone smashed into the wall, pieces flying everywhere.

"GOD. FUCK."

I fell to my knees, I could see the individual grains in the hardwood floor. They progressively became distorted as my eyes burned with tears. I knew where he was, St, Mungos. There was a new treatment that had been talked about, quite new. It was supposed to mostly erase dark, distressing memories. The side effects, however, were largely unstudied. They knew it could cause memory loss in other ways, too. They weren't sure for how long, though. They also weren't sure what the chances of the dark memories coming back were. Because of this, it was used only in dire situations, for the most urgent of cases. I knew Harry had been doing bad, but I never thought he'd try to hurt himself, try to- I couldn't think about it anymore. I couldn't relive that night, not now. I had to get to him, that was the only thing that mattered anymore. I steadied myself with a hand against the wall, wiping my tears away with the sleeve on my other arm.

"I'm coming, Harry."