FULLMETAL PARODY
CHAPTER 8: IDIOTS AT HARMONY
Roy, Ed, Riza, Havoc, Al, and Fury were at a restaurant; compliment of Roy. "Wow Roy I can't believe your taking us all out to such an expensive eating place! How are you going to be able to pay for all are dinners'?" says Ed, as he orders his food.
"I'm not paying for nothing. You're paying for it".
"What?"
"Your heard me, your paying for every single morsel of food we eat".
"That's not fair!"
"So! Ray Charles turned blind and you think that was fair? I don't think so."
Everybody had took there order.
"Hey, Roy?"
"What full metal".
"I'm going out with Winry Friday, and I really don't know how to treat a woman. This is my first date and I want everything to be good. So how do you treat a female companion on a date?"
Roy laughed. "Ok watch in learn".
Ed shook his head.
Roy grabbed a wonderfully carved glass cup and threw it at a wall near the server. The women shrieked out of shock. "Where's my foo'?", the women looked at the scary man, while they nosed almost meet "your 'foo' s-si-sir?"
"You heard me bitch!" Roy flipped over the table they were sitting at "Where's my goddamn food!"
Havoc was sitting there raising his hands and sung "I want my na-a-chos, where are my na-a-chos?"
"Sir, we-we have oth-other people wh-who already or-order before you, and th-they still haven't got th-there food yet, so could you kindly-".
"Well ain't that a bitch! Listen I do not care who is waited for there food! I just know we've waited for eleven seconds, and that's one second to long", Roy walked over to the banister where they register your party to a table.
"Yo, where's my food? We've been waiting twenty seconds for our food!"
"I'm not your waiter, gosh!" the person turned there head to the side quickly.
"Listen Napoleon, the only reason your in this parody is because of m-," A giant ominous cloud comes out of know where and hovers over Roy. "The author! The only reason your in this parody is because of the author!" .the cloud disappears.
"Hey would you like an apple Roy?" Napoleon pulls out an apple.
"Yes I would like an apple Napoleon, would you like an apple Ed?"
"Yes I would like an apple Roy. Would you like an apple Riza?"
"Yes I would like an apple Ed. Would you like an apple Havoc?"
"Yes I would like an apple Riza. Would you like an apple Fury?"
"Yes I would like an apple Havoc. Would you like an apple Al?"
"I can't eat the apple Fury, but yes I would like an apple."
Then Napoleon pulls out a carrot "Would you like a carrot Roy?"
"Yes I would like a carrot. Would you like a carrot Ed?"
"Would you like an apple Riza?" says Ed.
"Would you like an apple Havoc?" says Riza.
"Would you like an apple Fury?" says Havoc.
"Would you like an apple Al?" asks Fury.
"I can't eat an apple Fury but I guess I can take an apple," says Al.
Napoleon pulls out an orange "would you like an orange Roy?"
"Yes I would like an apple Napoleon. Would you like an orange Ed?"
"Would you like a carrot Riza?"
"Would you like an apple Havoc?"
"Would you like an apple Fury?"
"Would you like an apple Al?"
"I can't eat for the last damn time! But yes I would like apple".
"Whoa Al! I guess somebody's getting a little rusty," laughs Ed.
"SHUTUP, DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL IN THIS BODY?"
"Umm an empty shell with no feelings in the great an abyss of your thoughts," says Ed.
"STOPYOUR JIBBER JABBIN FOOL!" yells Al.
"You know what? I have to' take a shit." says Riza.
"I do too" says Havoc. "Me too" says Fury. "ME THREE" yells Al.
Everybody looked at Al for a minute or two "umm Al you can't take shits that's a bodily function, something that a robot or machinery can't do" says Ed.
"Yes I CAN! I've been constipated for about 5 years or so.. I crap nuts and bolts!"
"Sure you can" Riza snickered
They all go to the bathroom, while Ed and Roy stayed at the table.
Napoleon walks up with some plates. "Here's your food you freaking idiots! Gosh, I'm not even in this show!"
"Thanks Napoleon!" says Ed.
"Fine! Vote for Pedro you retard!" Napoleon shook his head again and walked out.
"So you know what to do when you go out with Winry?" ask Roy.
"Yep! Treat her like dirt!".
"And?"
"O yeah! And like property!"
"And what do you always call her?" cooed Roy.
"A bitch!"
"That's my boy!" cried Roy.
Rose and Scar walk in. Rose is wearing a white beautiful dress with pink decorated flowers on them, and it is silky. Scar, on the other hand, was wearing a black suit and wearing shorts with the suit, and his knees were so rusty and black it was like a black oil stain. They both sat at a table; Rose had her baby with her.
"Hello Rose!" greeted Ed.
"Well it's nice to meet you," says Rose gleefully.
"Hello state alchemist" grimed Scar.
"It's nice to meet you too" gritted Ed.
Ed came close to Rose and smelled something wonderful streaming off her "Rose! What kind of perfume are you wearing? Its smells so good!"
"Oh White Diamond".
Ed looks at Scar's rusty black knees "Really? Well Scar's wearing Black Rock".
"I'm not afraid to blow yo ass off this story, go ahead! Keep working my nerves," threatened Scar.
Ed felt like peeving off Scar more so went further "your baby is so adorable! Ever find out who the father was?"
"Well uh, Ed I was raped remember?"
"Well that's YOU say," sneered Scar.
"What? Your saying I wanted to be raped?"
"No I'm just saying that if you wanted a child you should've asked!"
"What? I didn't do it on purpose!" screamed Rose.
"You could've gladly asked me and I could've gladly for filled your wishes, but noo you decided you wanted somebody else to toss your salad!"
"Listen! I didn't ask for this!"
"Shut up you door knob!" Scar slammed from the table "I'm not hungry anymore!"
"You're not leaving me here! Comeback!"
They both stop out the restaurant door yelling and screaming.
"Wow rusty knees got maaddd" mocks Ed.
"Don't worry they'll make up when they get home" says a voice.
"Wha? You said that?" screamed Roy.
"Nobody! I am just a gush a wind, whoosh whoosh"
"No your not" says Ed.
"I SAID I WAS A GUST OF WIND!" lightning strikes.
"Alright fine your gust of wind!" yells Ed.
"I don't like our narrator very much," sighs Roy. Roy hears a dog growling behind him "Shit! Not again! I don't want to be mauled!" starts to run.
Winry jumps into the scene " O this is my sorry for 2006 and I'm not sucking no mo d#ck!" She sung
"Winry?" ask Ed.
"Yes?"
"Bow down bitch".
"What?" Winry takes out her wrench "ATTACK, HOOPER HIMPIN MIKA LACKIN MORKE SMORK HIPER SMOCK!"
"What?"
"SHIKAKA!" runs after Ed.
"Ahhh! I have diarrhea!" screams.
Ummmm sorry for the Winry thing I made that up while I was writing it, I hope you like if you have ideas please share. On the other hand, if you have stupider Ideas than I will take those I hope you enjoyed this one!