The Trouble with Women
Chapter 5
You Don't Know?
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Vivien stared at the motionless body of the pirate before the book in her hands dropped to the floor with a loud thud.
Oh Dieu…
Her fingers felt suddenly numb, yet her whole body tingled and hummed. She tried to control her breathing, calming her pulse. Then, licking her lips nervously, she came to the conclusion that knocking the man out probably hadn't been her brightest idea. Nothing that she did, it seemed, was in any way very clever.
Now she was faced with a rather large landslide blocking her path. It was a mountainous thing that stood tall and imposing, demanding of her one question: What, exactly, was she going to do next?
Not only was she on a ship, but this ship was most likely sailing somewhere far off from her home. And not only was she on a ship sailing somewhere far off from her home, there were pirates on this ship. And, by the way the pirate sprawled out in the middle of the floor had been addressed earlier by a member of his crew, Vivien had reason to believe she had just knocked the captain of the pirate ship she was currently situated, unconscious.
Vivien knew that couldn't be a good thing.
Undecidedly, the young Frenchwoman took a step towards the man, almost expecting him to flip over and shout some obscenity such as "Arr!" or "I'll blow ye down ye scabrous dog!" When he didn't, she took another few steps towards him, wary and aware she was dressed in her nightclothes and quite unarmed.
Again, the pirate made no movements. But Vivien wouldn't be fooled; he could very well be waiting for the right moment to strike. Sharp cutlass straight through her frail neck. She cringed at the mental picture that drew up in her mind, but didn't stray away from the pirate. Instead, she carefully kneeled down and reached forward to take hold of his far arm.
Her fingers gripped half-heartedly at the worn material of his overcoat, but somehow she managed to rouse her courage and take a firm grip. Swiftly, she tugged him onto his back. He flopped over ungracefully, head lolling to the side, still comatose.
There was no blood from the blow, thank her lucky stars. She hadn't broken his nose or anything unpleasant like that. In fact, there was nothing besides layers of dirt and grime marring his features. She studied him closely, examining him like she would a curious bug crawling on the ground.
His eyes were lined with kohl (oddly enough); he had a perfectly straight nose, and almost startlingly regal features. She remembered how his dark eyes had grinned at her along with those lips; his iris's nearly matching the black of his pupils. Oui, she remembered this one. He had been at her manor. He had been the one with the sword, leading the pirates. Now there was no doubt in her mind she had just struck the captain of the ship unconscious with one of his own books.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she hoped that if she could wake the pirate up and apologize profusely while grovelling at his feet before he could get a single word in, she might persuade him not to kill her right away.
Shuddering inwardly, Vivien was quite sure she preferred the man unconscious to awake. He was downright threatening.
Swallowing thickly, Vivien's fingers fluttered over the pirate, her mind in indecision. How do you wake and unconscious man?
Hesitantly, she decided to lightly tap his cheek in hopes of rousing him.
Needless to say, her almost non-existent touch didn't help. Steeling herself, she took a deep breath and tried again, slapping the pirate softly on the face.
No response.
Pursing her lips, Vivien raised her hand and flicked him on the forehead.
Again, no response. Vivien's heart thudded. Had she killed him?
"Monsieur…?" she spoke in a hushed tone, waiting for a response.
There was none.
"Monsieur…Capitaine?" she asked hesitantly, brow furrowing.
He didn't twitch.
Vivien sat back on her haunches, eyes darting around the room worriedly. What would happen if someone came down to check on their captain and found him lying limp upon the floor with her looming over him like some sort of criminal? Pas quelque chose bon…she told herself firmly, worriedly.
Biting down on her lower lip, she leaned over the pirate once more. Then, bringing her hands together in one fluid motion, she clapped loudly right above his face. It could have been her imagination, but she could have sworn she saw his eyebrow twitch slightly. She stared down at the comatose man with renewed courage.
"Wake up, Capitaine!" she commanded loudly, clapping again, loudly near his ear.
She was dismayed when it seemed as though she had done nothing.
Vivien pursed her lips in annoyance, eyebrows arching downward angrily. "Réveillez, vous grande et laide brute!" she shouted, and reached down to flick him hard on the forehead. Her hand, however, didn't make it that far, as her wrist was suddenly encased in an iron grip.
Shocked, Vivien stared down into a twin pair of deep brown eyes.
"Now, that wasn't very nice," the pirate's voice drawled lazily, his hand still firm around her wrist.
Stupefied, the young woman merely stared for a moment before her lips twitched and she let out a horrible shriek of surprise, tumbling backwards onto her behind. Immediately, her wrist was released, and she shuffled backwards away from the pirate, eyes wide with fear as she shrieked her lungs out.
The pirate winced in pain, one hand coming up to cradle his forehead while he boosted himself up from the floor with his other. Swaying slightly, he turned to the hysterical woman and attempted to calm her somewhat. "No, no. Not good, shhhhh! Please, be quiet!" he waved his free hand urgently at her, his head pounding angrily.
His words seemed to calm her somewhat, and as her last scream ended due to lack of air in her lungs, she stared at him with wide, terrified eyes. But as he began to lift himself from the floor, she shuffled back slightly, trying to put as much distance between them as possible.
He looked as though he was going to say something, but the next second the door to the room burst open, revealing a portly old man in ragged clothes and fierce looking woman. Both had their swords drawn and both were roaring like madmen.
Again, Vivien shrieked, this time at the sight of the long, slightly curved and very, very sharp looking weapons which were now pointed at her.
Sighing in admission, Jack took a deep breath and shouted, "SHUT UP!"
Vivien's scream died off with a squeak and the two pirates started slightly before turning to their captain.
"That'll about do it…" the portly man murmured lowly.
However, the woman pirate, looking fierce, advanced towards Vivien, who made a sort of choking sound at the movement. "We 'eard screaming and yelling, Captain. Has she been giving ya any trouble?" she demanded, pointing her sword at the huddled woman on the floor. "I have no problems getting rid of the witch right now, curse the bloody map and yer treasure!"
Vivien's eyes widened, her eyebrows curving downward into a frown. "A witch!" she exclaimed loudly, causing the woman pirate to snarl at her angrily and raise her weapon. That set off another bout of terrified yells from the defenceless Frenchwoman, which only served to give Jack a bigger headache and confuse Gibbs, who stood at the doorway with an odd sort of look upon his face.
Swaying slightly on his feet with a hand to his head, Jack scowled at the scene before him. "Gibbs, Anamaria…Miss Brideau! Please, stop with all the bloody shouting!" he yelled angrily, and the room fell into complete silence.
All eyes turned to Jack.
He smiled pleasantly, pressing his palms together and nodding his head slightly. "My most gracious thanks…now, everyone calm down or shut up. I'd hoped to make this as short a possible," he started, and turned to Vivien with a flourish of his sash. "Darling, get up from the floor, s'terribly dirty…and Anamaria, sheath your weapon, woman! Gibbs, put away that pistol!" His eyes strayed back to Vivien when he noticed she hadn't moved an inch. "Well, what did I say? Get up!"
Stifling a squeak, Vivien quickly shot up from the floor, but kept her distance from the other three occupants of the room.
"Gibbs, who's captaining my ship?" Jack asked suddenly.
The elderly man straightened slightly under his captain's eye. "Cotton, sir," he answered simply.
"Mr. Cotton! You let Mr. Cotton at the…ah bloody hell, never mind. As long as the bird doesn't…you know, all over the helm…" he muttered, more to himself than anyone.
"Cap'n, if ye don't mind me asking, what are we to do with the witch?" Anamaria piped up.
Jack's kohl rimmed eyes narrowed until they were nothing more than dark slits. He turned to glare at the woman in the corner, who looked very much at unease by her stiff posture. "That's right…now as much as I'd like to simply toss you in the brig for a few days after you decked over the head with yonder book," he began, gesturing vaguely at the discarded book by the door, his fingers twitching oddly. "I would much rather get straight to the point, take down the coordinates of your father's treasure, and then toss you into the brig until we reach our near destination." He gave her a brief smile, flashing several gold teeth, before cocking his head to the side. "What say you, then? I might simply lock you in a spare cabin for a few days if you cooperate nice like."
Vivien blinked, opening her mouth slightly, but couldn't find any words as her voice seemed to have gotten stuck somewhere on the way to her lips.
Anamaria growled slightly. "I say we force it out of her if she ain't gonna talk!"
Gibbs shook his head slightly. "Nay…tis terrible bad luck to aggravate a witch."
Jack rolled his eyes. "Anamaria, please relieve Cotton of his duties and make sure we're still on the right course, I don't like sailing astray," he drawled, and watched as the woman pirate gave a small scowl and a quick nod before stalking from the room while muttering under her breath. With that done, he turned his attention back to Vivien.
She flinched as he eyed her slightly.
"I apologize, I never did bother to find out your first name, darling."
Vivien pursed her lips, wondering if she should tell him or not. The decided against it and found her hidden, inner dignity and courage before replying. "You'll address me as Mademoiselle Brideau or Miss Brideau, nothing more, comprenez?"
Gibbs mumbled lightly to himself while Jack gave a fake, satisfied smile. "Ahh…oui, oui. Captain Jack Sparrow at your service, luv," he announced. "And now, if you'd be so kind as to tell me the location of your father's treasure, our business will be over until we reach Madagascar, savvy?"
Vivien might as well have died right then and there because she felt her heart drop suddenly in her chest. Her insides froze over, and her eyes darted from Jack, to the floor, to Gibbs, to the door, and then back to the floor, her mind uncertain. How could she tell him where her father's treasure was when she herself didn't know? The only way that was possible was if she had her father's map – which was tucked away in her room with her undergarments.
"I cannot," she piped in a small voice.
Jack looked like he didn't understand. "And…why not?"
Vivien felt the beginnings of a panic attack coming on… "Because…I-I don't know."
He cocked his head at her in confusion. "You mean you can't because you don't know why you can't or you can't because you know where?"
She opened her mouth to reply but found she couldn't make head nor tale of what he had just said.
"Cat got your tongue, love?" he quipped, grinning madly.
Gibbs cast a worried look at his captain. "Sir, tain't wise to befuddle witches…"
Vivien shot a glare at the older man. "I am no witch!" she retorted.
"That's what I told him," Jack declared, and her head whipped around to him once more. He smirked. "Now, would ye be so kind as to answer my question?"
Flustered now, Vivien flapped her mouth several times before coming up with an answer. "I don't know!"
"Aye, we knew that one, love," Jack replied, somewhat irritated.
Shying away from him, Vivien frowned. "Then what more do you want?"
"To know if you don't know simply because you don't know or not."
She closed her eyes in frustration and fear, still not quite understanding what the pirate was saying. "I mean, I don't know where it is!"
Jack looked flabbergasted, quite a change from his earlier moods. "What do you mean you don't know?" he demanded. "You're the daughter of Jacques de Bourbon, ay?"
"Oui – pardon? I-I…no! Non, je ne suis pas la fille du Jacques!" she shouted, almost hoping if she confused him enough he would simply give up and leave her alone.
"That's funny, because I distinctly remember you calling yourself Mademoiselle Brideau, which connects you directly to our dear Jacques Brideau of Bourbon Island," Jack stated slowly, a grin flickering across his lips at the sight of the flustered female before him. She seemed to be afraid of everyone around her, including himself. Definitely including meself…
Vivien sighed with defeat. "I told you I don't know where the treasure is!"
Jack didn't believe her for one moment. "But I've heard you were the only one he trusted with the coordinates, my dear, so therefore you must know," he countered swiftly, taking a step towards the woman while Gibbs watched with a wary eye, still not believing the woman wasn't a witch.
She quickly shuffled backwards behind the desk, content to keep the piece of furniture between them. "He gave me a map," she answered truthfully, her voice somewhat high.
Jack leaned forward onto his desk, a sly smile forming on his lips. "And have you looked at this map?"
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
"Then you must know where the treasure is."
She shook her head mutely. What, just because she had looked at the cursed thing a few times that meant she knew where her father's treasure was?
"Ye don't know where the treasure is?" Jack questioned, feeling his good mood slipping once again. Bloody women…
She shook her head again.
"Then where's the map?" he deadpanned, all traces of humour suddenly vanished.
"It's at…my-my manor, back on the island," she stated meekly, immediately wishing she hadn't.
Jack sighed, running his tongue along the top of his teeth. Then, turning to Gibbs, he nodded to the door. "Run up and tell Anamaria to set sail back to the island. If that's where the map is that's where we'll go."
Vivien felt her heart drop again. Going back to the island was a good thing, surely, but not when it held Dorian Belfast waiting for her. What would think? Why would pirates kidnap her of all people, after all? And Dorian must never of the treasure. Never.
Vivien snapped into action before Gibbs could exit the room, a hand shooting out as if to stop him.
"W-wait! You don't want to do that!" she shouted quickly, and two sets of eyes turned to her.
Jack turned to her with an eyebrow arched under his red scarf. The beads on his hair jingled somewhat. "Why ever not? You said yourself that you don't know where the treasure is and that the map is back at your little manor on the hill. What's there to do but head back and retrieve it?"
Think, Vivien, think! she told herself angrily, and winced at what finally came from her mouth. "I lied! I do know where it is!"
Jack Sparrow stared silently at her a moment, eyes contemplating while Gibbs stood waiting in the doorway, a look of expectancy upon his face. Finally, the pirate captain smirked. "You either do or you don't. Make up your mind."
"I do!" she answered immediately, if not a little too loud.
His smirk transformed into a grin. "Very well, then. Gibbs!"
"Aye, sir?" the older man answered.
Jack faced his first mate. "I believe Miss Brideau has had enough questioning for a bit, so be a good man and show her to a cabin," he ordered lightly, and as Gibbs started towards Vivien, spoke again. "Oh, she'll need a change of clothes. No matter how much I admire a woman who's willing to run around in her nightclothes, I'm afraid the crew won't take to it. And be sure to remove all blunt, sharp, heavy and potentially harmful objects from her possession and the room." He grinned cheekily at her. "We can't have you braining any of my crew with books, now can we?"
Vivien frowned, clearly not amused.
Jack nodded his head to her and swaggered from the room, feeling like a king would, in command of everything around him.
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French Translations:
Oui - yes
Monsieur…Capitaine? – Mister…Captain?
Pas quelque chose bon – something like 'not a good thing'
Réveillez, vous grande et laide brute – Wake up, you big and ugly brute!
Comprenez? - understand?
Non, je ne suis pas la fille du Jacques! – No, I'm not Jacques's daughter!
--Cayenne Pepper Powder