Disclaimer - I do not own Inuyasha...I think we all know that by now.
Author's notes - I'm warning everyone again. This will have Bulimia in it which is when a person vomits their food. If you are disturbed please just skip this entire chapter.
Rin's POV
"Rin? A-...are you sure?"
Mom's frantic whispering woke me up early Monday morning. As much as I wanted to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep, before my alarm clock went off, I listened to what my parents were saying.
"I'm positive Kagura. Look at the symptoms." Dad cleared his throat and began to list the symptoms. "Loss of at least three consecutive menstrual periods, not wanting or refusing to eat in public, and her others symptoms include; Anxiety, weakness, brittle skin, shortness of breath, obsessiveness about calorie intake."
Mom let out a faint gasp in surprise. "But...what would make her start?"
I laid there in my bed, not wanting to move, afraid of if I left the room they'd corner me and beg me to tell why I started. What made them catch on? Was it my clothes slipping from every inch of my body? The fact that I would take smaller portions of food and skip Breakfast and Lunch? My parents continuing their small talk about my condition raided on.
"I bet it was that Kohaku boy. He must have made some comment." It wasn't a surprise to hear that from my Dad. He wasn't even aware though that Kohaku and I had been going out for a little over a Month and a half.
My mom didn't reply to that. Both of us knew it was pointless to argue with him when he mentioned Kohaku these days.
"Should I schedule an appointment?..." My mom timidly said. I didn't hear Dad say anything to her, his reply was silent.
In the time it took mom to call and make an appointment, My alarm had gone off and I had already pushed my body out of bed and forced myself to get dressed.
"Did you eat Breakfast?" My Dad's stern voice sent chills down my spin as I packed up my books. "Um...no, see they hold Breakfast at the school and...Souten, Shiori, Kanna and I always eat then!"
True, they did serve Breakfast at the school. Though the girls and I never did go and eat together, not even Kohaku and I.
"Hm...well your mom wants you to eat Breakfast here from now on..."
I sighed, there was no way I would be able to get out of eating with them. Pulling a Bulimia wasn't really what I wanted to do twice a day now. It left such a horrible after taste and made my throat burn to where I would be in tears. And why did it have to be my favorite dish? It was as though mom was purposely trying to make me eat so much. Even if I had missed the flavor in my mouth, I still hated myself for eating so much of it.
"May I be excused?..." I muttered bitterly as I finished the last of my meal. Thankfully mom allowed me to go, as well reminding me that I had to leave in seven minutes. "Two minutes is all I need..." I whispered to myself as I bent down in front of the toilet.
(Author's note- If you find Bulimia disturbing please skip the next paragraph)
I really didn't want to do it twice a day now. But seeing as mom and dad were going to make me eat Breakfast with them as well I knew I would have to start. Taking a deep breath I slid my index finger down my throat and threw up my delicious calorie filled meal. Flushing the toilet I let out a tiny scream the burn of the vomit caused me and began to furiously brush my teeth and rise it with mouth-wash.
"Rin, I'm ready to take you to the Bus Station." Dad banged on the door, startling me a bit. I wiped the tears from my face and picked up my book-bag, speeding out of the bathroom and rushing to the car, wanting nothing more then to see Kohaku and go on with our daily routine.
Our car drive wasn't silent like it normally was. It was actually pounding with random music that was being played on the radio and every now and then was a small conversation on "How is your book report coming?" or "How is Drama going? When is tryouts?" I honestly didn't mind the small chit-chat we had together. I felt much closer to my dad when we talked.
Pulling up to the Bus Station, I couldn't find Kohaku anywhere. I was a little disappointed, but waited patiently beside my dad. "Rin...you're mom and I are taking you to a Doctor's appointment shortly after your lunch period." I gave him a weak smile and headed out of the car, yelling back to him that I'd see him then.
I was lucky I was able to do some of my school work today. The worries of what the Doctor would say to my parents was pushing me down. What if I was placed into a Hospital where they made me eat three meals a day? I'd have to gain more weight then what was already on me. What did it matter? It was my body and I was in control of everything that happened to it, so what did it matter if I skipped two meals a day and when I had the chance, three?
"Rin..."
Kohaku pushed lightly at my shoulder, making me shoot up and bite my lip in the pain he had inflicted. "You're Dad is here." I looked to the door and saw my parents in the door way, talking to my History teacher about something, most likely why I was going to have to miss the rest of the day. "I'll call you tonight, Kohaku..." I mumbled, gathering my books together, not even listening to his reply of why I had to leave now.
The appointment was quick. They talked to me for a bit before weighing me. In which I was horrendous 90 pounds. They then took a look at my body, and asked me a few questions before asking me to leave the room while they talked to my parents. Though it didn't stop me from hearing in. Gently, I pressed my ear against the door, hoping he'd speak loud enough for me to catch every word.
"Mr and Mrs Sakaru, I'm sorry to say that you're daughter is Anorexic." I could hear mom let out a gasp and start to cry a little. "This Disease is curable as I'm sure you are aware...we'd actually like you to try to make Rin eat three healthy meals a day. If that doesn't work, we suggest you put her in a Hospital where they deal with girls like her." Neither of my parents said a word. I could hear Mother's heavy breathing of trying to keep her tears down, but that was the only noise that came from them.
Anorexic?...No, I couldn't be! That's impossbile...
"If you'd like I can give you some pamphlets and a documentary on Anorexia?" The Doctor continued with his speech. "It may help you get a better idea on what condition Rin is in. Odd though, this normally happens to girls who are starting puberty...You're daughter is a little over half way."
When I heard footsteps coming my way I backed away from the door. What were my parents going to do? Yell, Scream, Cry, Strike me?
Mom was the first to walk out of the room. She didn't even look at me, all she did was let out more silent tears and go to the desk for some information.
Dad on the other hand walked up to me. His face looked furious, it was scaring me. I knew it, a strike on the face is what I was going to get. Instead, my dad bent down on one knee, shot his arms out toward me and pulled me into a warm, yet gentle hug. I let out a soft whimper, telling him that it hurt a little, raising up my own arms and returning the hug. I felt hot tears fall into my hair. My dad, in my eleven years of living with him I had never seen cry, was crying over...me. I wanted to tell him not to cry and that everything would be fine, yet I knew that wouldn't all be true. We stayed in that position until Mother let out a small noise, telling us we had to leave. Neither of us saying a word to how the other reacted to his embrace and tears.
I glanced at the clock; Seven forty-seven. I figured Kohaku would be worried about why I haven't called by now. Picking up the phone, I slowly dialed his number.
"Hello?" Good, it was Kohaku that answered.
"Hello...sorry about not calling sooner..." I mumbled, sounding like I was the cutter and he was the consular.
"It's fine. Where did you go anyway?"
I sighed. Did I really have to tell him about my condition? "Um,...My family and I were going in to the Hospital...since my Mother...was having a check up on the Baby. She just wanted me to be there." Ah, the perfect lie. He'd fall for it, seeing as he knew how much this New Life was going to mean to my Family.
"Oh, so how is the Baby?" His voice was more relaxed from when I first called.
"Oh...it's good. Due around the mid of April." I looked at my calender. It was now the end of February. Only a month and a half I had before I'd be a Big Sister.
"Er...I have to go. Miroku wants me for something and it's not going to be quick. I'll see you tomorrow at school."
"Alright. Bye...I love you..." It was always weird to say those three words together. Even if I knew no one was tapping in my phone line it was always awkward.
"I love you too. Bye."
I hung up the phone and sighed. After dinner I was forced to watch the documentary with Mom and dad, and wasn't allowed to get up for anything. Not even for the restroom, taking away my chance to dispose of my meal that I had previously consumed.
When the documentary finished, I surprised to see mom walk me to my room.
"Rin...you know, I understand what you are going through right now..." She whispered softly, guiding her hand across my face like she wound an infant. "I don't understand...what do you mean you know what I'm going through?" Mom gave a weak smile. "You know I was Anorexic once..." Instead of replying to what she said I rolled over on my side, as much as it hurt. "I said in my Journal that I gave you that I met your dad at a School Dance." Mom took a deep breath and sighed. "Though that's not how it happened...I'm not sure if I want to be the one to tell you..so when your dad drives you to school tomorrow, I'll be sure to make sure that he tells you..."
She stood up and leant over my body, giving me a small kiss on the temple. "Good night Rin..."
Kohaku's POV
"...Why do we have to wear such revealing Gym uniforms?"
I turned and laughed at Rin. "Revealing for the girls maybe, I actually enjoy these uniforms compared to our everyday ones." She bit her lip and blushed. "Well if you were a girl, you'd find these uniforms to be unpleasant." I laughed once more and studied Rin's frail looking body. Where her womanly hips and curves should have been, I saw only bone. The flesh that covered her bones seemed to be like a tightly wrapped seal that was supposed to be protecting it.
"Ri---
"Hey Rin, Kohaku. You'll never guess what sport we're playing in Gym class today." Souten said, bouncing up and down while clinging to Shippou at the same time.
"And what would that be?" I asked.
"Volleyball!." Souten squealed, bouncing up and down more and more.
Sure enough that once Souten finished her squealing our Gym teacher blew on her whistle, calling everyone to the grounds, telling us what game we'd be playing and how. Boys where on one team and the Girls were on the other. All we had to do was smack a ball around the court, how hard could it be?
"Kohaku! Heads up!" Souten's voice over powered all the others as the white almost gray ball headed towards me. Jumping up I smacked the ball making it fall towards Rin's friend, Shiori. I called out her name and award her about the ball. Volleyball wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, I wasn't the best at sports and finding one that I was some-what good at made me enjoy them more. The cycle of passing the ball continued. Not once did I see anyone pass it to Rin. She didn't even flinch when the ball was close to her.
When the ball was in my reach I called for Rin.
"Rin! Above you!"
Her expression looked afraid, almost as though it was a bomb heading towards her. She bent her knees and jumped up into the air, but just barley. She was a good inch away when she collapsed onto the hard ground.
Shiori screamed and like all the other girls rushed over to Rin. A few of the boys even followed while a few of them raced to find the teacher. One girl even had her cell phone and was calling for an ambulance. I squeezed my way through panicking girls and saw Rin's body laying on the cement, motionless yet still thankfully breathing. My mind was racing. My heart was pounding and my body felt like shutting down right there.
"Where's the teacher?" I yelled, checking her pulse. The students around me looked around for the Teacher. Wasn't she supposed to be watching us? I couldn't wait any longer, I picked up Rin's light and limp body and raced towards the nurses office.
Rin you idiot, is this why you're so thin?
Thankfully a Teacher spotted me carrying her and helped me get her to the Nurses office and contact her parents. Once the Nurse had finished taking care of her, I was allowed in to see her until her parents arrived.
"You idiot..."
It was all I could say to her as I held her hand, rubbing it softly. I wanted to tell her other things yet every time I opened my mouth all I could say was those two words.
How could I not see it earlier? Her envy filled eyes whenever we passed a women who was skinner or dare I say prettier. Refusing to eat lunch with me except for certain days when she'd eat a small salad. The clothes that fell off of her body, her bulging eyes and sunken face...how could I not see it? How could her parents not see it? I'm her boyfriend and yet I failed to protect her from this...
A little whimper caught my attention..
"Rin! Are you alright?" My grip on her hand tightened as I leaned closer to her face, which was still a pale white. "Kohaku...?" She sat up a bit and held her head.
"Did...I pass out or something?"
I nodded lightly. "Yes..." She looked at me as though I was telling a lie.
"Sorry...lack of sleep..." She let out a small blush.
"I didn't know lack of sleep made your clothes fall off and made your face sunk in..." I bitterly confronted her. Now aware of this illness and what it could do to a girl, slapping myself mentally for not bothering to research it on the internet. I wrapped my arms around her frail body.
"You idiot. How could you do this to yourself? You were absolutely perfect and beautiful before you started! You helped prevent me from killing myself, well what do you think you're doing Rin? You're killing yourself, this is what this 'diet' causes!"
I let go of Rin as she laid back down on the bed. The coming footsteps could have been her parents, and I didn't want them to figure out that we were so close to each other.
When her mom entered to room first she screamed out her daughter's name and rushed over to her, pushing me aside in the process.
Her dad on the other hand stood against the wall, watching his Wife's actions, looking as though he didn't even care what had just happened to his child. How could someone act so heartless to someone so close to them? Without second thought or any hesitation I walked up to him and began lashing out in a low voice.
"She's your daughter! How could you not catch that she was ill?"
He didn't say a word to me, not even a glimpse with his eyes.
"You're daughter is practically dying and you couldn't catch it? You see her everyday! You didn't even notice her skipping meals, and becoming weaker and thinner with each passing day?" Still no reply. "I'm talking to you! Didn't you notice anything about her!" I was furious enough right there. I picked up my right arm and curled my hand into a fist and aimed it at him, hoping then he'd reply to me when I strike him. Only then did he move. He grabbed my wrist, twisted my arm and slammed me against the wall. Instead of listening to his Wife, who was now telling him to let me go, he bent down and whispered in my ear, "For that action I wouldn't let you see my Daughter again. However, it seems that you care so much about her that you'll actually lash out at me. Remember this Kohaku, try that again and it will be the last thing you do."
The threat sent chills down my spine and caused me to avoid any eye contact with him for the rest of the time they were in the room, discussing with the Nurse and Principal what had been going on with her. I was only given a few short moments alone with her before she left for home.
"I'm so sorry for the way dad reacted to you almost punching him...did he hurt you?"
I shook my head, lightly massaging the wrist that had been in his grip. "Not really...the threat freaked me out more then anything though." I let out a small laugh at the end, assuring her that everything was fine and she didn't need to worry about anything but her health. "I'll drop by your house later. Sango and Miroku are bound to come visit you once they find out."
She gave a weak smile. "Alright. I'll see you tonight."
It was night and I had told Sango and Miroku about Rin's health. I kept putting if off making excuses to Rin on why I hadn't seen her since that day in the Nurses office. Sango told me that Kagura called and invited us over, saying something about Rin being very depressed and requesting to see me. Driving along the road I watched the rain drip down my window...was Rin going to be like the rain? Slips away and gets thinner and thinner by the minute? I shake the thought from my head. I would have to pull Sesshoumaru aside. He's the man of the house...why didn't he see this sooner?
Coming upon their drive way, I felt uneasy. Somehow I knew that something was going to happen tonight...wether it was by me or because of me I didn't know. I don't blame Kagura on not catching Rin's illness, though Sesshomaru, I'll make him talk. Stepping to the door I ring the door bell, Sango was fidgeting behind me. The door opens and I saw Kagura, looking distressed with her hand on her ever-growing mid-section. She gives a small smile and ushers us in.
Dinner was delicious as was to be expected with Kagura's cooking, I've learned to love her like a mom. Rin was sitting, staring at her plate and I noticed this. Why wasn't Sesshoumaru doing something? A loud voice interrupted our silent meal.
"I swear to god Rin, if you don't start eating soon I will force feed you!" Sesshoumaru boomed aloud, startling everyone at the table.
I surprised at Rin's reaction. I thought she would immediately stick her chopsticks into the bowl and devour her noodles. Instead she stood up and ran to her room, crying her eyes out as she went and screaming it was her body and not his. Instead of Sango or Kagura starting up a conversation we all kept our heads bowed low and finished our meal. Afraid that if we refused to finish it, he would threaten to feed us.
It took a while but we all finished. Rin's neglected noodles were sent down the drain as Sango and Kagura began to clean up mumbling soft words to each other. Miroku went outside to make a call. And here I was, alone with Sesshoumaru at last.
I walked up to him. A little scared of what would happen next.
"Sesshoumaru..." My voice was a bit creaky when I began his name, a sign of fear and he knew it.
"What is it?" His eyes narrowed and studied me, making my fear increase.
Letting out a small cough I stepped closer to him and lifted up my head, looking at him straight in the eye. My hands were clenched into fists, I wasn't going to try punching him again. "I'm going t-to ask you again...why didn't you catch Rin's condition earlier? You see her almost everyday and you couldn't notice that none of her clothes where fitting and that she used safety pins to keep her skirt up?" I kept my voice at the same tone the whole time. One note higher and he would have thought the wrong thing. "Why is it that I noticed and you didn't?"
"Hm, if you did notice...why did you not say anything to her?. After all...you are her boyfriend." A hint of amusement crossed his voice.
I gaped at him in shock for a moment. How could he have known? We kept it so tight and secure the whole time, not once did we hold hands, hug or even...kiss in public where he could catch us. The only possible time would have to be when we first said those three words.
"How—
"Did I find out?" His strict face turned into a smirk. "I over heard you that day you said you loved each other. Right there I was tempted to run into the room and grab your little neck.."
"Ahem!"
Kagura's stern cough barged into our conversation. She wasn't crying like I expected, her face was more flushed with a small tint of pink under her eyes. "Kohaku, Rin want's to talk to you."
With a quick glare to Sesshomaru, I rushed off to Rin's room.
Her door was opened a crack and I was able to get a quick glimpse of her sitting on her bed. Holding a large stuffed animal in her arms and crying into the head of it.
"Are you okay?." I pushed through the door and sat at her feet.
She lifted up and her head and sniffled a few times. "Kohaku...I-I don't want to die!" Immediately, her body was plunged on top of me, tears began to soak through my shirt as she went on about not wanting to die so young. Without using much strength, I sat up and wrapped my arms around hers. "This is why you need to eat. If you want to live your body must eat carbohydrates and calories."
She sniffed a few more times. "But that makes you..."
"Makes you look healthy. Have you seen yourself! Rin, your nothing but skin and bones, if you don't put on a few more pounds you will die."
She adventured her eyes away from mine and looked and her scrawny arms. A small whimper of un-satisfaction was made. "But have you seen those models? They are..." Trailing off she looked away from her arms and stared at the Ayumi Hamasaki poster, making her eyes fill with Envy.
Nothing was going to please this girl, she could be Miss Japan and still believe she was over-weight.
"Rin..I think it would be best if you went to the Hospital for a little while..."
"What?" She pulled away from my grip and sat up on my knees, taking my words the wrong way. "I tried to hard to lose all this weight for you and now you want me throw all my hard work away?" I reached out to hold her again back she slapped my hand and scooted away from me. "Don't touch me!" She screamed and covered her face.
"But Ri—
"Get out!" Her legs began to kick out towards me as though I was a rat that was to be disposed of. "Out! I don't ever want to see you again!"
"But..."
"I said get out!"
The door was slammed in my face and by then, everyone in the house was staring. Sango shook her head slightly and whispered something to Miroku. Kagura stood in shock next to her husband, who was glaring at me with deep eyes.
"It's getting late...thank you for having us over though.." Sango mumbled, grabbing me by the back of my ponytail. "I'll call later tonight, Kagura." Kagura let out a meek nod and walked us to the door. "I'm sorry about Rin's behavior..but Kohaku..it's best you don't see her for a while.."
"Why? Because I told her to go to a Hospital?" I was now angry at Rin, wishing she never came into my life and stopped me.
Kagura nodded again and turned her head back every few seconds to see if her daughter had calmed down. "Just until everything is settled again and she's up to talking to you."
Right there, I stormed off without a good-bye and furiously slammed the car door when I closed it.
Stupid, stupid Rin! It's her fault she's dying. She's the one that stopped eating and ignored it when everyone asked her to eat! I wish she never came into my life and stopped me from cutting! Then perfect little Rin wouldn't be Anorexic and thow a fit towards me...
I looked up towards the house and saw Sango waving good-bye to Kagura midway through the walkway.
'I'll just breakup with her, everyone will be much happy. And Rin won't have to worry if her 'boyfriend' is looking at other women.
Yes, end my relationship with her. A part of me wanted to get out of the car and do it now, but the other told me to wait and see how things turned out. Either way Rin would most likely be in tears through the middle of my sentence. Turning my head back to the house I saw Sesshomaru head towards my car.
Coming to give me another lecture, hm, Sesshoumaru?
He opened the car, ignoring Kagura and Sango asking him to stop and explain what he was doing. His arm reached out and grabbed me by the back of my neck, dragging me back into the house, ignoring my pain. I guess I was going to be able to breakup with her tonight after all.
"Ow, what the he-..."
"You're going to apologize to my daughter." His grip tightened around my neck and pulled me back into her room. Which was now a mess, posters were ripped from it's pins and tossed onto the floor, her blankets scattered and make-up splattered. And worst of all, her back was towards me. She knew I was there and she actually had the nerve to face her back towards me? I felt like I was going explode with anger, I had never been so mad in my life. Pulling away from Sesshoumarus grip and told her what I truly thought.
"Why the hell did you do this Rin? Because of me? There was nothing wrong with you to begin with, I-I still don't believe that you actually starved yourself for me!." I paused for a moment and clenched my fists together. "Rin..." Taking a few steps closer to her, I made certain that Sesshoumaru was out of reach to ring my neck. "..you were perfect, absolutely perfect." Uncertain how she would react, I reached my arm out and grabbed onto her shoulder.
This is your chance Kohaku, end it with her now!
"Rin..."
Now! Tell her you are breaking up with her!
My mouth opened, yet no words came out. I knew what I wanted to say and yet it seemed impossible for me to do.
"I'm not just Anorexic, I'm a Bulimic to..." Rin whispered. "...and I'm proud of doing it, both Anorexia and Bulimia."
Author's notes - (Said in dull voice.) I so didn't see that one coming...
Thank you for reading.