Disclaimer - I do not own Inuyasha or the song 'Yumemiru Tameni' they belong to Rumiko Takahashi and some artist I do not know of, but it's not mine for sure.

Author's notes - Sorry I haven't been updating this story that much. I've been highly depressed with the Inuyasha series now over. So here we go - Chapter fourteen, the final chapter of this story.

Oh, and please let us take a brief moment to remember Ana Carolina Reston, a model who died from Anorexia Nervosa at age 21 and weighing in at only 88lbs on Tuesday 14th 2006. May she rest in peace.

Rin's POV

Was it all just a dream? It had to be, I knew for sure that if I was to open my eyes, there would be Kohaku sitting by my bed, making sure I was better from my sickness that made me have that dream. It was impossible to swallow, why? Opening my eyes I realized that my dream wasn't over and that it may have become worse.

I wasn't in my house with Kohaku or mom waiting to for me to wake up. It was a white room with a large window.

Shifting my eyes to the side I saw several IV's stuck in my arms and monitors that beeped, giving off information of my heart and condition. Another monitor had two long clear tubes coming from it that went deep into my throat.

What was this?

"K-kohaku?..." I gasped out in panic. "...Where am I?" It was impossible to speak with the tubes down my throat and I'm sure it came off to him as more of a muffled noise then words.

"Rin? You're alive!" Kohaku grabbed my hand and carefully held it close to him.

He looked so strange. His hair wasn't neatly pulled back into a ponytail, it was a mess and looked like it hadn't been brushed in days, he was dirty, thick gray bags hung under his eyes and a weird odor came off of him. Behind him I saw dad, no compassion or any emotion crossed his face. Wasn't he happy I was awake from whatever happened to me? I darted my eyes across the room, and on Kohaku's other side was Riku. He looked just bad as Kohaku, but I believed that was just from him being homeless. In the strange room I wasn't able to find mom. Was she having the baby?

"Where am I?" I breathed out again.

Kohaku caressed my hand. "In the hospital. You had a heart-attack. Sesshoumaru and I were looking for you around the subways when we found Riku carrying your body saying that you had the attack. We took you to the hospital...they said you wouldn't even survive the night."

I tried to stay calm. My heart attack was real after all. "Whe..where is my mom?"

Kohaku pointed to the bathroom behind him. "Taking care of the babies."

"Babies?"

He nodded. "Your mom had twin boys."

"How long have I been in the hospital?"

"Only about a day...but a lot happened."

I tried to keep my emotions in order. Right now I wanted nothing more then to be in Kohaku's arms and cry my heart out. I had almost died without seeing my baby brothers. Mom would be in such a state of depression for sure.

"Kagura! Rin's awake!" Kagome's voice was the next thing I heard. In her arms was a small bundle wrapped in a ocean blue blanket. My brother was in her arms.

Mom came out of the bathroom without a baby in her arms, she rushed over to me and had pushed Kohaku and Sesshoumaru out of the way. "Rin!" She called out, as she bent down and gently wrapped her arms around my body. When she pulled away from my body I saw a rim of tears around her eyes.

"I was afraid Takito and Takeaki would never be able to meet their big sister." She mumbled.

From the bathroom I saw Sango carry out my other brother. He was also wrapped in an ocean blue blanket. As much as I wanted to see my brothers, I wanted to get these tubes out of my throat.

"Why do I have these down my throat?" I asked, hoping at least one of them.

"It's feeding you." Riku said. "These tubes are giving you nutrition so that you'll actually live."

My eyes grew wide. "No."

"No?" Kohaku said. "Rin, after that heart-attack, you don't want to recover?"

I slowly shook my head. "I don't want to be fat, I want to be thin, I need to be thin." Tears began to build up in my eyes. It was so weird confessing this to my family and friends, but what good was I at 82lbs? If I weighed less I'd be even closer to perfection.

"You need to? Rin, you almost died the other night doesn't that change your point of view?" I could tell Kohaku was frustrated with me now.

"No."

Kohaku clenched his fists together and turned around. "Why did I bother?" He muttered, storming out of the room.

As Kohaku left me in the room, I saw Riku smile.

My eyes studied everyone's expressions. Dad slowly shook his head in shame and mom bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears the welled up in her eyes. Miroku, Sango, and Kagome just stood there in silence, unsure what to really say.

"Oh, Miss, Sakaru is awake?"

Everyones heads turned to the doctor that stood in the doorway. He was an elder man who seemed to be at least fifteen years older then my dad. A large smile was upon his slightly wrinkled face. "Miss, Sakarku, it's nice to see you awake and alive." He walked into the room and pushed everyone aside so he could get closer to me. "You're defiantly a lucky one to have survived the night." He tapped the heart monitor and eyed my body before turning to my mom. "If you want your daughter to live to her next birthday I suggest you send her to the Eating Disorder clinic on the other side of town."

She glanced down at me and nodded. "Of course, when can we transfer her?"

The doctor tapped my heart monitor again. "As soon as I un-hook her from these machines if you'd like? Her heart rate is now at sixty. Still a little low but better then what it was."

"Do it now then." Dad said with a hint of happiness in his voice. "The sooner she's in Rehab, the better."

I glared at my dad. He was going to take all my hard work away from me, just so I would gain all that weight I spent so long shedding off of my body. He's not even my real dad, he had no right at all to enforce me into things I did not want, I wasn't his child to control.

"Alright then." The doctor pulled off from his belt and sent a message for a nearby nurse to come assist him, a male nurse came into the room three minutes later.

"You'll all need to leave though. Most parents don't seem to fond of us when they see us pulling out of IV's and tubes from their childs' body."

One by the one everyone left me so they medical workers would be able to remove the items in my body. I was overcome with fear of the tube brushing against something in my body that would cause me to choke on it or worse. Carefully the Doctor gave the Nurse instructions on how to remove the tube and IV's in my throat, while he glanced between my heart rate and the tube every now and then.

When the tube was out I was finally able to breathe normally again, I gasped for air and enjoyed not having the tube down my throat. "Thank god." I said after inhaling another breath of air.

The Nurse handed me my clothes. "It's a long drive to the Eating Disorder clinic." He said. "You'll probably want to wear some real clothes."

I thanked him and wobbly walked over the bathroom to change my clothes.

Slipping out of the Hospital gown and I looked into the mirror with disgust. They were fussing over nothing. My body stood there with fat hanging from every angle of my body, my arms was covered with large amounts of fat that hung from my arms as I brought them up to brush my hair. They were sending me to gain more weight even when I was already fat enough?

I slipped into my clothing with hate towards myself, my family, and my friends. They were holding me back from what I wanted. My ribs were finally visible through all my fat, and they wanted to take that away? Why?

Kohaku's POV

"They're sending Rin the a clinic where she'll become healthy again." Sango said, still holding Kagura's baby. "It'll be back to when both of you were healthy. Won't that be nice?"

"I don't even know if she'll want to even talk to me when this is over." I mumbled, pulling out the small black box where her engagement ring was held. "She probably won't even accept the ring."

"Ring? Kohaku, what do you plan on doing with that?" Sango's eyes grew wide. "You're not going to ask her to marry you are you?"

"It was something I was going to ask her after we made up from this argument." I flipped open the box to show her the ring, in which she gasped in delight from. "Riku doesn't think she'll accept the ring either."

"Riku? You mean that boy in Rin's hospital room?"

I nodded. "She met him in the subway, where she was going to stay for a while. He was with her when we found Rin, and if it wasn't for him asking for us to take her to the Hospital, she probably wouldn't even be alive."

Sango pursed her lips together. "I'm sure she'll accept the ring."

I shoved it back into my pocket. "I heard Rehab is something that takes a long thing to recover from...do you think she'll move on and not love me anymore by the time she gets out?" This was girl talk, what was I doing, asking Sango if Rin would still love me?

"I'm sure she will." Sango rubbed my head like when we were little. "Come on, I'm gonna go get a bowl of Ice-cream from the cafeteria downstairs before we take Rin to the clinic, do you want some?"

"Sure..." If I denied the ice-cream I'm sure Rin would have a fit about it if she saw everyone else licking a cone and me just standing there, telling her to go gain some weight.

"Here, hold Takito while I go get it. Just plain Chocolate, right?"

I nodded. "Of course."

Waiting for Sango to return with my ice-cream and everyone else to come back with Rin, I grew bored and annoyed at the comments of people asking if I was a teenage-parent who was holding their new child. With each person who asked that I'd glare and say that I was waiting for an Anorexic girl to get out of her room. Their eyes would quickly grow and they'd rush off in a whisper.

"Here you go! Cookies 'n' Cream for me and Chocolate for!" Sango said cheerfully as she handed the cone to me.

"Thanks..." I took it and slowly began to lick it, being cautious of the sleeping baby in my arms and careful not to spill any on him.

"Oh...and we're taking Riku to the clinic with us?" Sango said, swirling her tongue over the ice-cream.

"What?" I said, remembering the infant.

Sango shrugged. "Sesshoumaru and Kagura can't take him. With Kagome and the two car seats, there won't be any room in that tiny care. Besides, it'll just be you, Miroku, and I. Riku will only take up one more spot."

"And what about Rin?"

"She's also coming with us, you don't mind do you?"

I licked my ice-cream to stop it from melting off it's base and onto the baby. "Of course not..."

Sango smiled. "Why don't you propose to her once we get to the clinic? That will be so romantic, she'll be so inspired to—

"Lose more weight." I said. "It'll just inspire her to lose more."

"What makes you say that?"

"Don't you girls want to slim down for weddings and special occasions like that?" I mumbled.

"Sometimes..."

"Exactly. She'll just be inspired."

"But she's going into Rehab. She'll dispose of the disease."

"No, it'll still be with her...it just won't be controlling her mind anymore."

A light ding from the nearby elevator showed us that everyone was now coming down to take Rin to the clinic. Bitterly, she stood in the back, her arms crossed and her head lowered.

Takeaki was no longer in Kagome's arms but now in his fathers who held him closely and carefully. Kagura and Riku walked out of the elevator in a deep conversation and continued to carry it even when they saw us. Miroku and Kagome where carrying the two car seats for the babies as well as their diaper bags and Kagura's purse.

"Ready?" Sango asked.

Kagome nodded since no one else dared to move or make a sound. Riku and Kagura finished their conversation as soon as my sister asked.

One by one, each of us piled into the cars. Takito was handed to his mother who carefully strapped her babies into their seats which soon followed by Kagome's body. Sango and I where now finished with our ice-cream and pilled into our own car. Miroku took the drivers, while Sango took her not so typical passages seat. Rin took the seat behind Miroku's, leaving Riku and I to fight over who took the seat next to her. Taking my chance, I pushed Riku out of the way and quickly buckled myself into the middle seat next to her. Leaving a pissed off Riku to sit next to me.

"Rin, you know this is for the best, right?" I mumbled as we left the parking lot.

She turned her head away from my gaze and stared out at the window. "I thought you'd support me in this. It means so much to me..."

"What means to much to you?"

"Perfection..." was her only word.

"Sorry." I mumbled. "I just don't see how starving your body is perfection..." Slowly, I reached my hand towards her and warmed her ice cold one with my hot one. "But you know I think you're beautiful no matter what."

Sango gave a small giggle, which I knew she was trying to keep in.

Rin kept silence.

"Did you hear the song I played for you last night? Yumemiru Tameni?"

"No...I guess I was in to deep of a sleep to hear anything..."

"Would you like to hear it now?" I reached for my CD player and headphones.

"I guess. It'll probably be the last piece of music I hear for a long time..."

I gently placed the headphones upon her gentle ears and went to the right track number and played the song for her. As the beat played she closed her eyes and tilted her head back with enjoyment from the song. I saw her body move to the beat as if she knew the song already off by heart. When the song ended and she returned the headphones she seemed happy for the first time since her episode.

"What a beautiful song..." She mumbled, slightly singing the beat as she spoke.

"Yeah..."

"Is there a certain reason of why you wanted me to hear it?"

I shrugged. "Not really...I just thought you'd like it."

She smiled. "You were right though."

Riku glared at me, arms crossed with the same pissed off look on his face.

As we pulled into the clinic I could tell Rin was nervous, she began to breathe at a fast pace and she squeezed my hand.

"It'll be alright...I whispered."

Everyone slowly exited their cars. It was now back to that depressed surrounding. Kagura and Sesshoumaru held their babies in their arms and waited for Rin to come out of our car. Kagome was wiping tears from her eyes. Sango had rushed out to comfort her, while Miroku just stood beside them.

"You have to go in there you know." I said. In the car was Rin, Riku, and I.

"I know...but I don't want to."

"You'll still be beautiful." Riku said, as if he was Rin's boyfriend and was constantly telling her that she was beautiful.

"Thank you, Riku." She mumbled, I guess she was also confused about how and why Riku was still with us through all of this.

"There's a surprise you'll get if you go into recovery." I reached over and opened her door. "You just have to walk up to the entrance."

"Will I like it?" She asked, curiousity getting the better of her.

"I hope you will."

After much difficulty Rin finally agreed to go to the entrance only if she was given the gift before she entered "Hell" as she called it.

Walking Rin up to the entrace took a while, with every couple of steps she would walk backwards saying that no gift was worth gaining weight for. When she was finally at the entrance I eyed Sango and gave a light nod. She smiled and whispered something to Kagome and Miroku who lost their depressed expressions and grew smiles.

Unsure what I was supposed to do, I bent down onto one knee and pulled out the box.

"Rin..." I started, having no idea where this was going to end up. "I'm not really sure how to say this...but I want to tell you that you mean so much to me, and that this gift is something to gain weight for." I opened the box to show off the small engagment ring I bought for her. "If you recover from this disease and after we graduate from school, I want to know...will you marry me?"

Rin gasped and brought her hand to her mouth, the surviving color in her face left and tears began to build up in her eyes. "K-kohaku..." She stuttered out, holding out her hand for me to apply the ring to. "O-of course I will."

Gently, I applied the ring to her finger and stood back onto my two feet. Thankfully she did the next move and embraced my body into a joyful and warm hug, thanking me and saying "I do" over and over again.

I turned my head to the side to see everyone's reactions.

Kagome and Sango had a joyful smile upon their face, their fingers laced in each others and trying to hold back the fit of giggles I knew that were about to burst. Miroku stood proudly next to my sister and gave me a 'thumbs up' in approval of my move. Kagura nearly dropped the baby she was holding and her jaw was dropped as far as it could go, her eyes as large as could be as well. Riku's reaction was how I expected it to be. He still stood there, arms crossed and a bitter, hateful look upon his face. His eyes gave me a small threat. Sesshoumaru's reaction was the one I feared most. Her fathers eyes didn't shift at all, he stood there holding his child almost as if he didn't hear my proposal to Rin.

"You know that if you want to get married...you have to recover right?" I said, prying her body away with no effort at all.

She frowned. "But, in my wedding gown I want to be so thin and beautiful."

"But you're already thin and beautiful. You'd much more attractive if you gained some weight though."

"B-but..." She bit her lip.

"Please, Rin?"

She sighed. "I'm not going to like it and I'll fight through the whole thing..argue, curse and at times hate you for making me do this..."

"But it will be worth it all." I kissed her forehead and gently pulled her into the clinic.

Dear Diary,

It's hard to believe that I'm finally reaching the ending of the pages in this book. We've been through so much together and now I have to say good-bye.

Things have been good within these last couple of months as you know. Rei and Mai are still together. Rei enlisted into the military and works with dad now. Mai went back to school and is learning to become a Hair-stylist...weird profession but I'm very proud of her. Kiru was placed into a foster home last weekend and now happily sleeping on a comfortable bed. I feel so much more sadness whenever I see someone who's homeless now...We were finally able to have Riku leave us alone...lately as you know he's been bothering Kohaku and I non-stop about how I could 'do better.' I'm amazed he just gave up. I don't know what's going on with him now but I'm sure he's doing great where ever he is.

I start my new job as a Eating Disorder Therapist in two weeks and I'm really nervous about this, to tell these young boys and girls that they should recover from it since I was one who hated those people two years ago. Gasp! I don't think I mentioned ever what Kohaku was going to do, did I? He's going to become a therapist as well. Isn't that wonderful? We'll both be therapist and changing lives. It'll be rough I know, but I'm up for that challenge.

The twins are doing good as well, they just recovered from their cold. They look so adorable with their red noses, if the cold wasn't so dreadful, I wished they'd stay like that forever. But since they are better now, teaching them how to carry the ring with Inumaru has become a lot eassier.

As I write this final entry mom is currently doing my hair up into a bun like the girls at Prom. She's even going to add small red flowers to match the theme of Red Roses Kohaku and I chose for our wedding. I can't believe it's today...wearing my gown I still look in the mirror and feel like I could afford to lose a bit of weight, but I know Kohaku is oddly satisfied with my body no matter what. I'm ending the bottom of this page...and I must go now to apply the veil...the next time I write an entry I will be Mrs. Rin Anberu...

Rin Yama Sakaru.

"Can you believe it's my wedding day?" I whispered, as mom placed the veil over my head. "Just two years ago I was starving myself...and now, here I am, ready to be married."

"It's hard to believe..." She beamed proudly and kissed my cheek. "Come on, Kohaku is waiting."

Mom guided me out of my changing room to a organized line of people. My bridesmaids/best friends, my flower girl little two-year-old Kira, my three ring bearers. Takeaki, Takito, and Inumaru, and my dad.

"Can you believe it's my wedding day, dad?" I said, wrapping my arm in his so he'd be ready to walk me down the aisle.

"You look nice," was his simple respond.

As the music started everyone began to walk out into the room where the wedding was going to be held. My heart began to beat fast, I was so nervous and felt the butterflies begin to fill up my stomach. "I can do this..." I told myself, stepping forward with my dad right beside me.

The butterflies that fluttered in my stomach quickly faded away as I saw Kohaku. He stood there, tall and handsome. His long black hair pulled into a neat ponytail and a small blush crossed his face. His suit matched perfectly against his muscular built body and I felt myself to become slightly turned-on by looking at him.

When we reached the end of the aisle, dad picked up my veil and kissed my cheeks. "My little girl is all grown up..." was faint and quickly whispered as he moved from one cheek to the other.

After setting my veil down I walked up the few stairs to the platform where Kohaku and I would be married. Kindly, he lent out his hand and guided me up the steps.

"This is it," he said, "The end of our suicidal love, and the start of a new beginning."

Author's notes - Well, there it is. The ending of Suicidal Love. I'm actually amazed it only lasted to be fourteen chapters. I was aiming for twenty but then things would have repeated and it just would've become more boring then it already was. My story ended a lot like the Inuyasha anime - like crap. (It was good, but could've been better...) I thank each and everyone of my reviewers and readers for being with this story for the past year and I wish you all good luck with your own stories. Maybe in the future I'll write another Rin and Kohaku story...(laughs) if I get any ideas...but for now I say good-bye.

-Anorexia