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Pain of Body and Mind

Hermione woke the next day to the sun shinning in through the large windows of the cursed manor. She sat up and looked about the room seeing it's beauty in the rays of light. Had this room been in any other house any place else she would have been content waking up to it, but she was trapped in that room, it's beauty mocking her. She was trapped in that house, trapped and surrounded by the worst of the worst. She was unprotected and defenseless completely incapable of getting out.

"What a mess." She said softly her eyes beginning to fill with tears. It was then that she noticed the tiny elf cowering by the night table beside her bed. It seemed to jump to attention at her glance something that made her frown.

"Can Cecil do something for miss?" the elf squeaked out in its elfish voice.

"No I'm fine thank you." She said swinging her legs off the bed. Hermione made to stand but her head started to spin and she had to sit back down.

"Miss Cecil help you." The elf cried rushing to Hermione's side.

"No I'm fine." Hermione said firmly.

She stood up again slowly this time. She wondered what exactly was wrong with her. She started across the room to the door that she assumed led to the bathroom. Upon turning and opening the door she was surprised to see the most elegant bathroom that ever existed.

There were two sinks set in marble counter tops. The fixtures were gold and shone like the sun. The toilet was hidden from immediate view by a small half wall. There was a stall shower; the door made of frosted glass. There was against a wall sitting on gold clawed feet with gold fixtures a wonderful ivory white bathtub. Fluffy white towels hung about the tub and shower waiting to be used. An equally fluffy white robe hung on the back of the door. A shelf just above the tub on the wall held at least twenty different soaps salts and scrubs. Another just below that held every scented shampoo and conditioner that the wizard world made.

"For an evil Dark Lord, he treats his captives nicely." Said a deep voice softly from behind Hermione.

She turned about and her suspicions and fears were confirmed. Draco Malfoy stood leaning against the door frame to the bathroom staring at her. She felt like she was naked before him. Upon a quick glance she knew she wasn't, but wondered why he looked at her so closely.

"Get out." Hermione said turning, her voice breaking slightly. It hurt from all the shouting done the day before.

"Now, now, Granger is that any way to treat a guest in your suite?" He asked calmly a hint of teasing to his voice.

'Why is he playing with me like this?' Hermione asked herself wishing she didn't have to deal with it.

"We need to talk." He said his voice back to its serious tone.

"There's nothing to talk about. I hate you and you hate me. You're in my suite, as you called it and I want you out. How's that so hard for you to understand?"

Her back was still to him, something that he didn't like. When he was talking to someone he wanted to look in their eye. He wanted to see what they were feeling. You couldn't tell half as well by body language what someone was feeling as you could by their eyes. He reached out putting his hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him.

"Don't touch me please." She said unhappily looking right into his eyes. He could see her anger and fear pulsing through her eyes. He could even feel it in the air all around them, when he touched her.

"There are other things that we need to talk about Mud-Granger." He said recovering.

"What no Mudblood?" she said her eyes narrowing. "Don't try to be nice now. It's not going to make things go in your favour." Hermione said pushing past him into her room. She glanced at the door that he had come through wondering if it was unlocked.

"I don't like this either Granger. I don't want-"

"Don't use my name!" she screamed turning around to face him. Her eyes were dark and he saw the fury within them. "You don't deserve to use it."

"You get pissed at me for calling you a Mudblood but when I try to use your name you get pissed. What the hell do I have to do to get you to stay calm, eh? Would you like me to leave? Is that it? Well guess what Granger I cant. I'm not allowed to leave the room until I've gotten some answers. The doors locked from the outside and the only one able to open it is the Dark Lord."

"So you're a prisoner just like me?" Hermione asked surprised.

"You could say that. You wouldn't be stuck in here if you just started to go along with things. It's inevitable."

"You're wrong. Nothings inevitable." She said sitting on her bed.

"This is. You don't seem to understand the situation."

"I understand." Hermione screamed defensively.

"No you don't. You think that you can just sit and wait for Potter to come and rescue you. Well you cant. He's not coming. He's never going to come. This is one situation you can't be rescued from." Draco said his voice oddly calm showing that he'd come to understand this as a fact of life already. "No one can save either one of us from our fates. Only we can and the last time I checked you have no way to escape."

"I may be forced to marry you Malfoy, but I will always know in my head that I fought. I gave you that scratch. I fought to escape the fate. But from the way you talk you didn't. You just gave in and gave up."

Her words effected him. They struck a nerve deep within him. But he couldn't think about that at the moment. He had more pressing things on his mind like what was bothering her.

"What's wrong with you Granger?" Draco asked changing the subject smoothly.

"What do you mean Malfoy? There's nothing wrong with me, I'm just peachy stuck here in Voldemort's house."

Draco winced at the name.

"How can you say that?"

"What his name?" she smirked this time. "It's not hard. It's just a name. I don't fear him so why should I fear his name."

"That's a lie. You know full well that you fear him."

"No that's where you're wrong Malfoy. I don't and never have feared him. I've feared his power and what he might do to my friends but never him. The worst he can do is kill me." Her eyes locked with his and he saw the pain etched within them. "And I no longer fear death."

"No longer?"

"No longer. I've realized quite recently that in some instances death is a much better option." Hermione then turned away lying down on the bed. Her body faced away from him. She looked down at the faint, very faint, silver line that ran up her forearm.

"What's that?" Draco asked grabbing her wrist and lifting it up before she could hide it away.

"Nothing." She said as she felt the bed move and felt herself sliding backward. She stopped when her back collided with Draco's body, which was sitting on the edge of her bed. "Go away."

"What did you do Granger?" he asked turning her around so she was lying on her back looking up at him. Her brown eyes were watery and she looked like she was about to cry.

"Go away." She said again, trying to turn away but he wouldn't let her.

"Not until you tell me what happened. You're going to be my wife and I'm trying to learn more about you to make this work." He said trying to make her see.

"It's nothing all right Malfoy."

"Then why do you have two scars at least four inches long running up your arms?" he said still staring at her his eyes studying hers. She seemed pained at his mention of them. "Did you cut yourself Granger?"

Hermione's eyes could no longer hold back the tears. They spilled over the lids and ran down the side of her face to get mixed in her unruly hair. She lifted her hands to cover her face so he wouldn't see her cry. Why was he doing this?

"Why Granger? Tell me why and I'll leave." He said in for some unknown reason a soothing voice.

"I've had so many things go wrong all right. Just after Dumbledore was killed and I went home for the summer, my parent began to fight. Now they're getting a divorce."

"Divorce?"

"They're splitting up. They won't be married anymore. The day I left for the Weasley's my father moved out. He went to live with his girlfriend. I don't know where he is and he doesn't have a way to contact me. My own father left me alone." A sob escaped her lips and she felt ashamed that she was crying in front of him.

"What else. I know there's more."

"I went home one day to visit my mum to see how she was doing. But when I got there everything was gone. All the furniture all our things. I looked out front and saw all of my belongings being loaded up into the garbage truck. My bed my clothes my possessions. There was a For Sale sign on the lawn. My mother sold the house and threw everything that was mine out. Then she left not telling me where she was headed. I don't know where either of my parents are."

"I was so distraught that I went up to the bathroom. Everything was gone from there to. Everything except a single razor blade sitting on the sink. I grabbed it and cut. I was trying to kill myself. I would have too."

"Except?" Draco said urging her on.

"Except for Harry. I had been gone for so long that Mrs. Weasley had gotten worried. I was there for about three hours. Harry came and called my name sensing that something was wrong. He ran up the stairs and saw me from the hall in the bathroom. I was lying on the floor. I blacked out." Hermione didn't tell him anymore about how Harry found her. It was so disgusting and hurt to think about. "He woke me up and fixed me. He did a great job. He wasn't supposed to but being who he is he's allowed to use magic over the summer."

Draco sat back staring at Granger. He never thought that she would be able to do something like attempt suicide. But the girl sitting before him no longer seemed like the Granger that he'd hated for all those years. She seemed like a whole different person.

He had once noticed, though he wouldn't admit it at the time, that he saw a spark in her eye. A spark that appeared when she was learning a new spell, laughing at a joke Weasley told, smiling at Potter when he said something nice to her. A spark that blazed in her eyes whenever she was truly alive. But since she had arrived there he hadn't seen that spark. And now he was quite sure that no one else had either.

"Are you happy now?" she asked bitterly. "Now you can call me a suicidal Mudblood."

She turned away crying again. He couldn't take it. He hated crying, especially a girls. But the worst thing was that he kept remembering all the things that Marie had told him. He felt guilty that he hadn't kept his promise to her. She was the only person in the world that could make Draco Malfoy guilty.

From behind him he heard a click and knew that meant that the door was unlocked and ready for him to leave. He stood still staring at Granger whose face was buried in the pillow. Then he turned and walked to the door. He shut it with a snap behind him and followed the Dark Lord down the hall.

Hermione lifted her head seeing that Draco was gone. She felt so stupid now. She had told her enemy about her suicide attempt. He would surely use it against her somehow. But what made her fell even stupider was the fact that she had fallen for the soothing sound of his voice. She had believed that he really cared about her and what had happened.

"Suicide." The Dark Lord said when Draco was seated in the chair across from him.

"Yes my Lord. She tried." Draco said softly.

"You sound surprised Draco."

"I am my Lord. I would have never expected it from her."

"And why is that?" the Dark Lord looked at Draco with interest.

"She was the top in our year for the last six years. She's likely to be again this year I suppose. She's got friends and people that care about her not to mention she's strong. I just never thought she would get so low."

"She's a Mudblood Draco. She's just as good as a muggle. She doesn't deserve your pity or anything else from you. You are better than she is. The only thing that you must do is respect her, for she will bare your child. After she has served her purpose she will be disposed of."

"She will be killed my Lord?" Draco asked feeling that he already knew the answer.

"Yes. Unless she decides to join our cause. If she abandons Potter and joins us then I will let her live to raise her son." Voldemort said softly.

Draco was then told to leave the room. As he walked through the door he saw the group of Death Eaters waiting patiently for him to pass. It was then that he noticed that they all inclined their heads slightly to him. It was a sign of respect, of power. He kept his head up as he passed them by but when he was sure that they were all in the room with Voldemort his head lowered.

Thoughts began battering their way around his mind confusing him more than he already was. He walked to his room opening the door and looking about. His room was gloomy compared to Hermione's.

'Granger. Her name is Granger. I can't go around calling her Hermi-" he stopped not wanting to finish the thought.

How is it that she got to him so easily? Things hadn't been like this before. It's all because of the conditions. Had they been in school right now he would be able to hate her freely and easily. Now he was beginning to learn about her, listen to her feelings. He was beginning to realize that there was a person in that shell that he'd teased so much.

She was no longer just the face that he put to the name Mudblood. She had feelings and fears. She had thoughts and ambitions and a life. She was more than he'd ever wanted to know and was angry that he had learned about it all. This would complicate things tremendously he knew.

He wanted to just get away. Go find somewhere to sit alone and think. Someplace that wasn't influence by the dark or the light, just in between. He thought hard for such a place, hoping that when he figured out where it was that he would be able to get there. But as he pondered there was a pop from behind him.

Draco turned to see a very frightened looking house elf cowering before him on the rug. It was wearing what resembled part of a towel but it was so dirty and matted that Draco feared he'd get sick just being in the same room with it.

"What is it?" he demanded a little more forcefully than he'd wanted. But that was another effect that Granger was having on him. He couldn't seem to keep his emotions in check.

"Master sent Cecil to you Sir. He's says that you must follow Cecil to misses room. She's ills." The elf squeaked in a hurry. He seemed anxious something that made Draco a little concerned. Elves only sought the help of wizards when their own powers couldn't successfully do the task they were told to, which wasn't often at all. Voldemort had told this elf to keep a watch on Granger and cure her when ill, but it seems that something's gone wrong.

Draco followed the elf from the room and down the hall. The door was unlocked when Draco reached it and he hurried inside to find a most dreadful sight. Hermione was lying in the bed crying out in pain. She had vomited off the side so the floor and side of the bed was covered in her sickness. Her forehead was covered in sweat and she was soaked from head to toe. Draco saw that she was clutching her stomach as she let out a scream.

Draco had to cover his ears for he'd never heard something so loud before. If what the elf had told Voldemort didn't make him understand just how bad things were than that scream did. He was in the room a moment later as Draco was waving his wand to clean up the vomit.

"What in the bloody hell is happening?" said one of the Death Eaters that followed their master from his quarters.

"She's sick. Something's definitely not right my Lord."

That's when another screamed issued from the girl in the bed but this time Draco understood why she was screamed. Her left arm suddenly started to gush blood. Draco upon looking closer saw a deep wound had been torn into her milky white flesh. It looked as if she had been stabbed with a broad sword.

He looked up and saw Hermione's face was pale, nothing like it had been moments before. Her eyes were shut tight as she tried to get through the excruciating pain. Everyone looked on to see what would happen next. What happened next however brought everyone to their feet and sent them scrambling about to solve the problem.

ohhh...what could it be? what could possibly make the situation worse?...well you'll have to wait and find out...review please and i'll give you a cookie...lol

Starry