The Lure of the Dark Side: Chronicle 1-The Turning of an Era
Episode IV: The Clone Wars
Chapter 3: Year 1-Ilum and the Uncivilized World of Labor
At Ilum, Count Dooku sent CIS Chameleon droids to destroy the lightsaber crystal temple on the Wild Space world. At the time of the attack, Jedi Master Luminara Unduli and her newly knighted former Padawan Barriss Offee were in the temple. They defended it valiantly, but the temple eventually succumbed to heavy damage. The two Jedi were trapped...
Senator Amidala left for Labor the next day as planned with Captain Typho, Master Yoda and Antellica.
Everything was going well, the Senator had her pitch ready for the Laborians to help persuade them into being interested in becoming a member system of the New Republic, until the small Jedi Master said they must change course and go to Ilum.
"Ilum," she repeated in confusion.
Besides knowing that it was an ice planet in the wild space region beyond the outer rim that not only housed a secret Jedi Temple within, but also mineralized the Adegan crystals of Jedi lightsabers, she knew nothing else of it. "Why?"
"A vision I received," Yoda explained. "In trouble two Jedi are. Save them we must. To Ilum we must go."
"Absolutely not," Typho said before the Senator could even think it over. "You cannot risk the Senator's life like this. Milady I must protest."
"Very little time there is Senator," Yoda said to Amidala, his back to the security captain, "to rescue Jedi. To Ilum we must go, now."
"This is not a rescue ship," Typho argued back. "Might I remind our Master Jedi that we have a very pressing mission to attend to."
With a slight wave of his one of his claw-like hands Yoda spoke again. "A slight detour. Jeopardize the mission, it will not."
"A slight detour. Jeopardize the mission it will not." Typho repeated.
Amidala rose an eyebrow at the little green frog and allowed a sly grin.
"Be put in danger, the Senator will not." Yoda said with another wave of his hand.
"Be put in danger the Senator will not," Typho dumbly repeated again.
Amidala turned in her chair to look over at Antellica to find her wearing the same look she was.
"Save the lives of Jedi, we must." The frog balled one of his little claw-like hands into a fist as he spoke.
"Save the lives of Jedi we must!" Typho repeated, mimicking Yoda with a cleansed fist.
"Master Yoda, I am convinced," she said attempting to keep the amusement out of her voice. "I will no longer require my Captain's further…persuasion."
"Huh?" Typho suddenly looked dazed and confused.
Yoda chirped happily.
"Captain." Amidala rose from her seat. "Make best possible speed to Ilum."
"Yes milady."
Exiting hyperspace in orbit of the planet a few days later, Amidala changed into a white jumpsuit with a fur cloak and white boots to complement it. Antellica changed into a similar black outfit with earmuffs and a hat.
Upon landing, Yoda urged them to stay on the ship.
"Much danger I sense," he added.
The Senator respected his wishes and allowed her Jedi companion to go with the wish of good fortune.
Three hours later, she was beginning to regret her decision. Everyone was growing restless with the long amount of time it was taking and she was gazing through a pair of electrobinoculars outside her ship with the others, hoping to see the frog returning. Stretching out with her feelings she didn't sense him, but she couldn't shake the feeling that they were in some sort of danger. She just didn't know what type.
Baynetta was growing tired of waiting and was considering leaving without the small Jedi. She should've been on Labor days ago; not here on some danger infested ice world waiting for some stupid Jedi to return.
"I have a bad feeling about this," C-3PO said from behind her. "Master Yoda has been gone far too long. Perhaps you shouldn't have let him go alone mistress."
Baynetta held in a snort.
"He's a Jedi Master 3PO," Typho assured. "I'm sure he can handle whatever's out there."
The droid seemed to see his point. "I suppose. He did assure you that he'd contact you if any danger arose."
R2 beeped 'True, but how?'
Baynetta ignored the droids, but they didn't seem to notice. They were too busy arguing.
"Traveling alone in a uncharted area is commonplace for a Jedi, but a Senator," 3P0 was saying. "Miss Padme is safer where she is."
R2 continued to beep argumentatively, but Baynetta stopped him. "3P0 is right R2."
"I'll run a diagnostic on the area," Typho said from beside her. "This weather's been giving us some lowdown interference."
With that, he went back inside the Natalia.
Antellica came up beside Baynetta and stood where Typho had been just moments before. "Maybe the little green idiot got lost in a avalanche or something."
This got a snort from the Sith Lady. "That would be nice."
Five minutes went by in silence with both females simply gazing ahead into the snow. Baynetta was thinking that perhaps while waiting, they could explore the planet and perhaps find out what this unknown danger was.
I doubt it's the Separatists, but then again, you never know.
"R2? Does this weather affect your sensors?" she abruptly asked, although she already knew it didn't.
R2 said as much with 3P0 translating, as always. "Not in the slightest. Or so he says."
R2 snarled a few snide remarks at 3P0 until Baynetta interrupted him. "Good. I'm going to look for Master Yoda."
"Alone!" 3P0, R2 and Antellica asked at the same time.
"No. You three will accompany me."
"Oh dear," 3P0 said as he and R2 began to follow her, but Antellica defiantly remained where she was.
Baynetta looked back at her in frustrated annoyance. "Come along Antellica. Don't just stand there."
Antellica continued her defiant stare. "If you think for one minute that I'm gonna risk my neck for some little green freak, you're crazy."
Baynetta smirked and approached her as R2 beeped in confusion and 3P0 started chattering, "Little green freak? What do you mean Miss Antellica?"
"It's not so much the idea of looking for the frog, troll, whatever he is," she started, but was rudely cut across by 3P0 who was still chattering. "Frog? Troll? Master Yoda looks like neither Miss Padme."
She closed her eyes and continued as if there hadn't been any interruption. "There's also this feeling of danger I sense. Something's not right here, I can feel it."
Antellica nodded in understanding and they set off.
A short while later, they reached a clearing and Baynetta held out her arm to stop everyone. R2 started to beep.
"What is it R2?" Antellica asked.
But before he could answer, Baynetta shouted for them to duck a second before bolts of fire began shooting at them. She and Antellica ran to the left and hid behind a boulder of snow all the while 3P0 was yelling, "Ambush! I knew this was a bad idea!"
Baynetta yanked him over to where they were and the shooting abruptly stopped. It was than that she got what was going on. The destroyer droid that was firing at them, not only had a cloaking device so they couldn't see it from looking around the boulder, it was also programmed to fire only when it had something in sight.
Well, two can play the same game.
She took off her fur cloak and threw it into the cleaning. As expected, the firing started again and she, whipping out her blaster pistol, also began to fire.
Since the droid was still cloaked, she had to use the Force to determine where to shoot. Hitting it twice, the cloaking device came off and it fell to the ground in a heap.
"Gotcha!" she said triumphantly. R2 began to beep again and Baynetta sensed that there were two more droids still out there. R2 was saying the same thing and naturally 3P0 translated.
"R2 says there are two more still out there!"
"Two more?" Antellica repeated in exasperation.
A sudden, mean idea came to Baynetta to lure the other droids into firing. She turned to 3P0. "Ah 3P0, could you go and get my cloak?" she asked sweetly.
"Of course Miss Padme," he said and began to walk out from their hiding place. She exchanged a smirk with Antellica, who muttered, "You sly dog." Baynetta put a finger to her lips to shush her and looked around the boulder. 3P0 was practically in front of the droids now when they opened fire.
"Oh I must be out of my circuits!" he began to yell.
Baynetta set the thermal detonator she had in hand and threw it at the droids. They exploded as soon as the detonator hit them. 3P0 however continued to scream. The explosion had knocked him to ground, covering him in snow.
The Sith Lady walked out from behind the boulder and over towards him smiling. She bent down and picked up the cloak out of his arms.
"Thanks 3P0," she said trying hard to keep the laughter out of her voice.
"Oh, it was a pleasure Miss Padme," he said faintly. R2 began to beep again.
"What is it R2?" Antellica asked. "More droids?" She rose her blaster as 3P0 began to moan again.
Baynetta merely laughed. "Put that blaster down Antellica. It's only Yoda."
Antellica did as commanded just as he came into sight with two Jedi they recognized from the Battle of Geonosis: Luminara Unduli and Barriss Offee.
"Master Yoda!" Baynetta called out to him as she and Antellica made their way over. "We're thankful you're alright."
"Successful my mission was," Yoda said with satisfaction, "safe the Jedi are. But much pain my heart feels."
"What troubles you Master Yoda?" Antellica asked.
"Nearly destroyed the temple was. No longer a secret it's location is, but to whom I know not."
Baynetta mentally snorted. She and her father had known about the temple's location for years, but she had a pretty good idea as to who had ordered its destruction.
While Yoda had been talking, R2 rolled over to one of the destroyer droids and plugged into it. By the time the frog was finished speaking, a life-size hologram of Count Dooku appeared, not at all surprising Baynetta.
"You will find the temple on Ilum," the image said. "Destroy it."
"Dooku," Yoda growled.
Just than, Captain Typho appeared looking worried than relived. "Milady there you are."
"Hello Captain."
"Ah, and I see Master Yoda's with you as well." He glanced at the small Jedi Master and than behind him at the two Jedi. "Now that this rescue mission is over I think it a good idea for us to go where we were supposed to be days ago: Labor."
"Yes, you are right Captain," Baynetta agreed.
"Yes," Yoda said. "To Labor let us go."
The Natalia arrived out of hyperspace outside the Core World three days later and successfully landed on a high mountaintop they were ordered to dock on.
Filing out, Baynetta stopped to look around. The entire planet was like a paradise island. She could see sandy beaches, oceans, and lush palm trees in the distance from where they were.
"This is the planet Organa thought was strange and refused to come too!" Antellica asked in shock and disbelief. "Why?"
"I'm sorry?" Barriss asked and Antellica told both Jedi what Palpatine said concerning Senator Organa's refusal to come here.
They were also confused by his refusal. "This place is beautiful," Barriss exclaimed. "I don't see one thing strange about it."
"Maybe it was the civilians he found strange," Luminara expressed. "I hear some interesting types reside here."
Suddenly, two bear-like creatures approached them with staffs raised. Baynetta blinked when she saw their faces. They were wearing sunglasses!
"Hey you there!" the bear on the right called out. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"
The Senator stepped forward. "Greetings! I am Senator Padme Amidala of the Galactic New Republic and-"
"The Republic ah?" the second bear asked interrupting her.
"Yes and we," she motioned to her entourage, "are here because we have a meeting with the King and Queen about this planet perhaps joining the Republic."
"Joining the Republic?" the first bear repeated. "Why would we want to do a thing like that?"
"Why, because of the war."
"Now you look here missy," the second bear said advancing on her and pointing his staff in her face, "We here Laborians are a free people. Free. We answer to no one."
"Yes and if you could just take us or tell us where the Palace is, that would be most appreciated."
"Palace? Palace?" The second bear and his companion burst into laughter. "Why, the King and Queen don't live in a Palace deary. They live in a Beach house not far from here."
"A Beach house?" Antellica repeated looking thunderstruck.
"That's right little missy," the first replied, still laughing.
"Could you take us there please?" Amidala asked. "Or at least tell us how to get there?"
"Yeah, yeah, we'll take ya there," the first bear said. "Name's Roan by the way."
"Yeah and mine's Thomas," the second one said.
"Thank you Roan and Thomas. Your help is most appreciated," Amidala said and the bears began to lead them off.
Since the mountain they landed was pretty high up, she was mildly surprised when they started to walk down the hill instead of ride in some type of vehicle.
"Excuse me Roan," Amidala started.
"Ah, you're excused. I thought smelled somethin'. Didn't wanta say anything though."
"I beg your pardon?" she asked, clearly confused.
"Ya said excuse me because ya farted right?"
Amidala stopped walking along with Antellica and Typho. "Excuse me?"
"Yeah, you're excused," Roan repeated as he and his fellow kept going.
Amidala was not sure what to think of these strange bears and what they meant thinking she'd farted.
Roan and Thomas turned at that moment, realizing their guests weren't following them any more.
"Oy! Why aren't you all following?" Thomas asked.
"What were you talking about farting? What does that have to do with anything?" the Senator asked in a disgusted tone.
"Ya said excuse me-" Roan started.
"Because I wanted to say something."
"Oh. Than ya should've just said what you wanted to say," Roan said before he and Thomas continued on. Amidala and her crew followed. "So whata wanna say missy?" Thomas asked.
"I thought we might have taken a shuttle or whatever type of vehicle it is you use on Labor to get to the Beach house. Not that there's anything wrong with walking of course."
"Shuttle?" Roan asked in confusion. "What's that?"
"They're things you can drive or ride in to take you places," she explained.
"Is that so?" Thomas asked. "Sorry missy, but we ain't got any of those. If we want to go somewhere we walk."
"There are…humans…on this planet, aren't there?" Antellica asked after a moment. "The King and Queen are humans, aren't they?"
"Of course they are," Roan said. "Them and their three heirs."
"Heirs?" Antellica repeated.
"Their children of course," Roan replied.
"I know what heirs are," Antellica snapped.
"Than why'd ya ask?" Thomas said.
"Oh never mind," she said in a retort.
Baynetta smirked at her. By now they'd made it to the bottom of the mountain and were on a large beach.
"The house is just a few miles away from here," Roan said pointing with his staff to the north where she could see the little dot of the house.
"Did you just say miles?" the Senator asked.
"Yup."
"We have to walk miles?"
"Of course," Thomas said. "How else would we get there?"
"Ever hear of a shuttle," Antellica muttered to the ground.
The bears appeared not to have heard her. "Well come on now."
The next hour and a half was spent walking, and for Baynetta and her crew, sans the Jedi, complaining and muttering curses under their breaths. Walking on the beach, they passed by many people: humans and animals, soaking up the sun, playing or simply talking to one another. All the human males, Baynetta noticed, were wearing loin clothes and all the females' bikinis. That was to be expected. They were on a beach after all.
But as they continued on, and she looked across the street away from the beach, she saw that everyone else (the humans that is) were also wearing loin clothes and bikinis. She shrugged it off and they continued on, noticing that everyone who saw them stared while some even pointed and began whispering to their neighbors.
When they arrived outside the Beach house, Roan and Thomas told them to stay where they were while they went and got the King and Queen. A few minutes later, a lanky man with wild dark hair emerged along with a skinny women with bright pink and green hair that came down to her waist. The woman, who Baynetta shuttered to believe was the Queen, gasped at the sight of them, while the man yelled. "Woah, woah! Too much clothes, too much clothes! You insult us, you insult us!"
"What?" she asked, once again confused.
"What?" The Queen repeated and gave a dry laugh. "What she says. I do believe my husband was quite self-explanatory. You insult us by wearing all those clothes. People on Labor only wear loin clothes and bikinis, nothing more, nothing less."
"Listen here lady," Amidala snapped, "I am a Senator-"
"And I am a Queen," the queen said with her nose upturned.
"I used to be a Queen too, you know, but you don't hear me boasting about it like a spoiled child."
"Used too?" the Queen asked, obviously not giving much thought to the insult. "What do you mean used to? Once someone's a Queen, they're always a Queen."
Never thought about it that way...
"Very well than, I am a Queen and a Senator of the Galactic New Republic and-"
"The Republic ah," the King interrupted. "We don't want nothing to do with your stinkin' Republic."
"Kingy, you will not speak to her!" the Queen barked. "She is not dressed properly."
Turning back to Amidala, she addressed her. "If you want an audience with us girl, you and your entourage will dress the way we dress. Like it or not. Otherwise, you can just leave."
Amidala was about to argue, but stopped herself. "Very well," she gave a mock bow, "your highness. We shall dress the way you want us to dress. I do believe I have a bikini in my ship, and Antellica you can borrow one of mine," she added to her handmaiden before turning back to the Queen.
"However these three," she pointed to Yoda, Luminara, and Barriss, "are Jedi, and as such you will not see them dressing in bikinis and loin clothes."
"Jedi ah," Kingy said eying the three.
"Jedi, sledi. This is our planet, our rules," the Queen said, now shaking her fist in the air. "And you will do well to follow them."
"Senator," Yoda abruptly said from where he stood. "All right it is. Ready to go by their customs we are."
Luminara and Barriss nodded their agreement.
"And what's this supposed to be," the Queen spat at Yoda. "A frog of some type. A Jedi frog."
She roared with laughter and all the people now surrounding them, that had obviously followed them from the beach, did the same. Baynetta clapped a hand over her mouth to make it seem like she was scratching it to hide her laughter.
"Civilized beasts!" Antellica shouted at the Queen, swinging her fists around in rage. "These are Jedi and you will show some respect."
"Oh, and am I to take orders from some silly servant girl," the Queen giggled. The crowd once again roared and Antellica swore loudly.
"Antellica is not a servant girl," Amidala shouted over the crowd. "She is my sister and as such that makes her a Princess."
"So what? I'm a Queen," the Queen once again boasted.
"You're an airhead!" Antellica shouted at her.
"You will not insult my wife," Kingy roared at her.
"Bite me you wild animal freak man!"
A sudden gasp hushed the crowd for a second or two before it roared again, but not with laughter, with rage. It was even louder this time with people shouting curses and making rude hand gestures at Antellica. Kingy suddenly made a war yell and leaped at her with a dagger raised.
"ENOUGH!" Baynetta shouted, using the Force to silence the crowd and make the dagger in Kingy's hand fly out of it and into the crowd where she was sure it stabbed someone, but she didn't care. She didn't care that she'd just openly used the Force in front of three Jedi. She didn't care about anything, but leaving this retched place.
No wonder Bail didn't want to come here. This place is full of freaks.
But being the Senator she was, she was just going to have to go through with this. It was her duty. After a few moments of silence, she lowered her hands and spoke in a loud, ringing voice.
"Now then, we will go through with your wishes. Myself and my entourage will return to my ship and change into your customary clothes of choice. When we return, we will talk to you about why we are here."
Angrily, she turned and began to push random people out of her way as she made through them.
Upon arriving back at the ship an hour and a half later, Typho tried to convince her into leaving.
"Milady, I really think we should be going," he said as soon as they entered the ship "We're wasting our time here."
"I would wholeheartedly agree with you under different circumstances," she replied, "but I have a duty here as Senator. I will however tell you one thing, after this, no more missions for me to try and persuade…freaks to become members of the New Republic."
The good thing about Baynetta was that she always carried all types of clothing for all types of weather on board all her ships. That way if she got in a situation such as this, or Ilum for that matter, she'd be ready. It turned out that she only had two bikinis, but Luminara and Barriss said they'd just wear the undergarments under their robes. The Senator gave Yoda a small towel to use as a loincloth while she gave Typho a regular sized one. Since 3P0 and R2 were droids, she didn't think they should wear anything, but decided to to put a towel on 3P0 anyway and a small pink flowered skirt on the objecting R2, who was beeping furiously.
"Sorry about all this," she said they all met in the entrance hall on board the ship. "Especially to you Jedi."
"Don't worry about it," Luminara said.
"Let's just go and get this over with," Typho grumbled.
When they returned to the Beach house, even more people where surrounding it and Baynetta saw that three other people were with Kingy and the Queen: their children. The oldest child, a girl, who looked to be about eighteen, had rainbow colored waist length hair. The middle child, also a girl, had half a head of long blue hair, while the other half was short and white. She looked to be about fourteen. The youngest child, and only boy, looked to be about ten. He had spiky black hair and wore a necklace of bones. Roan and Thomas were flanking the Royals with their staffs raised along with a lion with red mane and, Baynetta blinked, a mouse standing not far away from it, brandishing a sword. The Royals were also flanked with caveman looking idiots who were brandishing chains with spiked balls on the end while others were on top horses with bows and arrows.
"This is ridiculous," Baynetta said loudly as they approached. "You would think they were going to war or something."
Once she and her crew reached the Royals, silence fell and the Queen spoke.
"So..." She eyed them a moment. "So..."
"The reason we are here," Amidala began, as if she hadn't even heard the Queen, "is because it is my job as a Senator of the Galactic New Republic to try and persuade you to join our government."
"We don't-" Kingy started, but she cut him off.
"As I'm sure you know, there is a war going on and as a planet belonging to the new Republic we can promise you that if ever the war were to come here we would send a Jedi General with a fleet of Clone troopers to assist you."
"You listen here missy," Kingy said shaking a finger at her, "We aren't interested in joining your stupid Republic. We Laborians are a free people! (The crowd roared at this) And that's the way we're gonna stay!" The crowd roared even louder this time.
"I understand this-" Amidala started, but Kingy cut her off. "No missy, I really don't think you do."
"But I understand perfectly," she argued back. "All I'm trying to say is-"
"Enough!" the Queen suddenly shouted. "Out! Get out!"
"I beg your pardon?" Amidala asked.
"I beg your pardon?" the rainbow haired princess repeated mockingly and the crowd roared. She than laughed. "You stupid idiotic girl Senator. I do believe my mother was quite clear. She said get out and you will listen to her."
"Shut up you rainbow haired pig!" Antellica shouted at her.
"You will not speak to my daughter in such an arrogant way," the Queen spat.
"Oh yeah? Try and stop me!"
The crowd once again roared, the cavemen idiots swung their chained balls around threateningly, and the little mouse was whipping his sword around with gusto.
"Enough this is," Yoda suddenly said and everyone was silenced. "To talk in private a good idea I think it is. Without the interruptions of crowds, hmm."
"Oh ho! So this is the little green Jedi frog you were telling me about mother?" the spike haired Prince jeered. "Ha! What a stupid freak!" He walked up to Yoda and spit on the ground in front of the Jedi Master.
The crowd once again roared, but to Amidala's amazement. Yoda merely smiled.
"Buck-toothed bastard!" Antellica roared. "Feel the pain of my fist!"
She punched him to the ground and began to stomp on the boy. The older Princess launched herself at Antellica, but Baynetta came to her defense by whipping out her blaster and slamming it across the Royal girl's head.
The younger Princess than came at Baynetta and Antellica, but her gut was swiftly kicked into. She didn't give up and neither did her sister. Both quickly got up and launched themselves at Baynetta and Antellica in attack, but they were right there meeting them, kicking and punching all the way.
Chaos started as some of the people in the crowd began to fight with the others. After kicking the younger princess hard on the neck and hearing it crack, Baynetta got up to see the Prince swinging Yoda through the air and throwing him at the lion.
As Yoda flew through the air, she secretly used the Force to have Yoda's lightsaber fall to the ground beneath him. She kicked and punched various people out of the way to get to it. Once it was retrieved, she activated it and heard Antellica yell, "Padme! Yoda!"
Baynetta sliced one of the cavemen dudes out of the way to see Yoda pinned to the ground by the paw of the lion, who was licking its lips obviously about to eat the Jedi. Baynetta gave a yell and ran over to the beast, lightsaber raised above her head. She sliced the beast down upon reaching it.
Instant silence fell over the crowd.
"Simba!" the sword wielding mouse yelled as he ran over to the fallen lion. Baynetta helped Yoda got and handed over his lightsaber after deactivating. He nodded in thanks.
"You murderer!" the mouse suddenly screeched at Baynetta and began to whip his sword around as he charged towards her. She merely smirked and kicked him out of the way. The little mouse went flying.
Turning back around, she saw the three heirs and Kingy crowded around Simba crying.
"He was like my brother!" the younger princess yelled in anguish.
"You murderer! Murdering dog!" the Queen screeched at Baynetta before turning to the crowd and roaring, "Kill them! Kill them all!"
The crowd roared, yelled and jeered before they charging angrily towards Baynetta and Yoda. She glanced at Yoda and than began to backflip over the crowd. It took all her knowledge in the Force to keep herself above the crowd. Yoda, she saw, was also flipping above the crowd along with Luminara and Barriss.
Landing on the ground behind the crowd, she quickly turned looking for Antellica, Typho, and the droids. The three Jedi landed next to her a moment later. She gave them a nod and looked into the air, where she saw R2 flying above the crowd with 3P0 and Antellica holding onto him. Not long afterwards, Typho came bursting through the crowd and she yelled, "Let's go!"
They set off, running as fast as they could while the angry mob chased them with fists and knives raised. They reached the Natalia half an hour later. Baynetta, Typho and the Jedi boarded it and closed the hatch behind them. As she ran to the cockpit she said, "We'll have too get in the air before we can get to the droids and Antellica."
She silently relayed this message to Antellica and started up the ship, making sure to knock a few people off the cliff as they began to rise into the air.
Several meters up, Baynetta lowered the boarding ramp and Antellica and the droids entered. Closing it behind them, they left the planet and entered hyperspace, destined for Coruscant.