Chapter 2 – Screw The Boxers!

A/N: Wow! I can't believe how much input I got on just the first chapter! Thanks for the support guys, and I'm glad that you find my story interesting! I really was aiming for something that's never been done before, and I hope that I can continue to entertain you all! Reviews as always are appreciated! Oh yeah, and as garretPI had kindly suggested to me, I'll be naming Naruto's new, yet unwanted, alter-ego in this chapter.

BTW, to Rook and anyone who missed it, the reason Sasuke doesn't know it's Naruto is because he had shut his eyes conveniently every time Naruto's boxers were exposed, so he doesn't even know that Naruto has heart-patterned boxers. Unless I miswrote it, which I hope I didn't.

"Nn…" Naruto groggily gained consciousness, his eyes squinting open, blinded by the rays of sunlight pouring through his window. He thought for a moment as to why he was tired, and remembered he had invoked the Fox's energy for a prolonged period of time the day before in his determination to beat Sasuke. He sat up, stretching his arms and yawning loudly, the blanket moving to reveal he was still in his heart-patterned boxers and shirt. Suddenly, his eyes shot open in realization.

"Sasuke's gonna acknowledge me today!" he yelled in joy, shooting up and running for the fridge. He grabbed a bottle of milk, ripped the cap off and slammed it down, only to find it was empty, as he usually found it.

"Oh well! I'm too happy to care!" he said with a grin, this time reaching for his orange juice. Once more he unscrewed the lid and tossed it down, only to find it was also empty. His eyebrow twitched slightly. "W-Well, this… This is nothing…" he said, forcing a smile.

He picked up a cup and stood in front of his tap, smiling eagerly. However, when he turned the knob, found that his water wasn't running. He stared at it with blank eyes. "Well… It's okay… Because… Sasuke will…"

He was interrupted by a horrendously loud growl emanating from his stomach. "OH MY GOD, I'M JUST WAY TOO HUNGRY!" he yelled, throwing on his orange jumpsuit in blinding speed and heading for his door, only to find he couldn't open it. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON TODAY?"

"Sorry sir," a voice called from the outside. "Moving furniture. Give us a minute?"

"Gah! I don't have a minute!" his stomach grumbled louder. "Ah! Screw this!" he yelled, dashing for his window. He threw it open and hurled himself outside, hopping buildings at breakneck speed for his favorite ramen stand.

Along the way, Naruto looked down at the people walking about and noticed that strangely, everyone had their eyes glued to a newspaper. "Huh? That's weird," Naruto noted. "Guess something big must've happened last night. But it couldn't have been as big as Sasuke having to acknowledge me!" he grinned broadly, continuing his trek for the ramen stand.

"Hey, old man!" Naruto said weakly. He finally arrived at the ramen stand, and looked as though all the fat and muscle had left his body, wrinkles covering his face and making him look like an old man. He didn't even have the energy to raise his head. "Three bowls of ramen on the double! And I swear I'll pay you back!" he begged, half knowing that the old man would just kick him out.

"Sure," came a dull reply, tossing three bowls onto the table casually. Naruto stopped panting for a moment to ponder this situation.

'Did he just put three bowls of ramen, for me, without question?' Naruto rubbed his chin in wonder, then looked up at the old man.

Not only the old man, but even his assistant had her eyes glued to a newspaper, holding the paper in one hand and making noodles with the other. Naruto scrunched his face in thought, before shrugging and sitting at the table. "Hey, at least I get my ramen!" he said happily. "Itadakimasu!"

Naruto hammered into his meal like a monkey on steroids. During his meal, someone sat by him, a man with eyes also glued to a paper. "Morning, Naruto!" he said with a familiar voice. "At the ramen stand as usual, I see!"

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto blabbered through stands of noodles, which flung outwards as he talked. "Eh? You're reading the paper too?"

"You mean you haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

Iruka turned his newspaper around, showing Naruto the headline. It read 'Hero with Heart-patterned Boxers Defeats Famous Renegade Ninja!'

Naruto spat out a mouthful of ramen in surprise, before hurriedly picking it up with his chopsticks and swallowing it once more. "Wha-wha-wha-what's this?" Naruto said in surprise.

"Last night, a powerful ninja wearing boxer shorts, dubbed 'Boxer-sama' by the media, apparently beat up a world famous high priority runaway ninja, known for targeting numerous general stores, and robbing them without fail. While the runaway was attempting to rob a store Boxer-sama arrived and beat him up!" Iruka said happily.

"R-REALLY?" Naruto said, needlessly loud. "That's just… Great!"

Naruto felt himself getting really sweaty. 'This isn't good. If Sasuke finds out about this…' he gulped. 'Then… HE ISN'T GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE ME! He'll know that I didn't stay out of sight for twenty-four hours!'

"Anyway, this 'superninja' is the talk of the village! Maybe if he keeps popping up, he'll become world famous!"

"But I want to be the world famous one!" Naruto demanded. "I don't wanna make him famous!"

"What? Make him famous?" Iruka repeated in confusion. Naruto broke out in a stupid laughter.

"Uh, I mean… I don't want him to be more famous than me! Yeah!" Naruto huffed out, laughing even more. Iruka looked at him strangely.

"Don't worry Naruto!" he said, patting him on the back. "Someday, you'll be famous, just like Boxer-sama!" he said, as he pointed at a caricature of Boxer-sama, as described by witnesses. Apart from Naruto's attire, he was also drawn with more muscle and much taller. Naruto looked at it nervously.

"Of…Of course I will, Iruka-sensei…" he said with a sigh.

Naruto sat in the park on one of the trees, his face frowning.

"Gah! How did this happen?" Naruto mumbled to himself. "If Sasuke finds out, he won't let me hear the end of it, and he'll never say I'm better than him! I've gotta find a way to make people stop thinking about me as some boxer-short-wearing freak!"

He looked down and noticed Sakura walking with Tenten, Ino, and Hinata. At the notice of Sakura, he hopped down to greet them, taking his mind off his Boxer-sama problem for a moment. He landed right in front of them, making a flashy entrance as he was inclined to do.

"Hey girls!" he greeted them ecstatically. "Hey Sakura, how've you been?" he said happily.

"Yeah, hi, Naruto," Sakura responded dully, showing how little attention she was paying him. Hinata however, waved shyly to Naruto, her face flushed. Naruto saw that Sakura was in a deep conversation with Tenten and Ino. "Anyway, so I heard that he's a total hunk of a guy! They said he's as strong as a Hokage!"

"No way!" Tenten gasped. "But still, he did supposedly beat someone Sasuke couldn't, and also the guy that he beat was a really famous criminal!"

"He must be totally dreamy!" Ino said with a flutter, her eyes shining.

"Uh, who are you girls talking about? Me?" he said with a grin, posing. He was answered with a sharp blow to the face from Sakura's fist.

"Of course not, idiot! As if you could be anything great!" she sighed. "We're talking about Boxer-sama."

"He's totally awesome!" Tenten squealed. Naruto looked up at them from the floor, his nose bleeding slightly.

"But that is me…" he mumbled. Hinata went over to Naruto in a worry, taking out another container, similar to the one she had given Naruto during the Chuunin exam.

"Um, if you want, you can have this," she said shyly, presenting the salve to Naruto. "It should help ease the pain in your face."

"Hehe, thanks as always, Hinata!" he said, accepting the medicine and dabbing it on his nose. "Man, I wish these girls wouldn't be such brutes and be more like you!" he commented with a smile. A smile, which was promptly wiped off by Sakura's foot.

"Who's a brute?" she said, her face burning with anger. "Come on, let's go somewhere else, where people will appreciate a great person like Boxer-sama!"

As they trudged off with a huff, a red-faced Hinata who was glancing at Naruto following behind them, Naruto pouted and squinted his eyes. "I've gotta do something about this Boxer-sama crap," he muttered.

Almost answering his need, he saw a small band of ninjas, roughly ten of them, hop out of nowhere. They had no forehead protectors on, and they quickly fenced off the park, with Sakura and the girls still within it. Four of them hopped to the corners of the park and began forming seals. Their comrades ran about the park during this time, knocking out all the male ninjas in the area, and capturing all the females and children, herding them to the park's center. Naruto himself was hit hard from behind, falling to the ground, and noticing a ninja's shadow jumping over him. He rolled out towards a tree and leapt up into the branches, peeking out through the leaves at the crowd of women and children formed, along with the six remaining ninjas.

A large barrier building around the park interrupted Naruto's gaze. Naruto realized that this came from the four ninjas that were forming seals. He looked around. All the males were either mere genins or townsfolk, nobody around who could stand up to the strength of six ninjas, who from Naruto's point of view seemed fairly strong.

"People of Konoha!" one of the ninjas, which Naruto presumed to be the leader, called out, using a jutsu to amplify his voice around the entire village. "One of your annoying ninjas has beaten up a good friend of ours, named Bashuma! We want this ninja! This ninja named Boxer-sama! And if he is unable to get past this barrier and beat us," he pointed at the crowd of women and children. "These people will all face… TERRIBLY EMBARASSING THINGS!"

Naruto looked out blankly. "…Riiiight."

From outside the barrier, crowds were beginning to build up, high-level Jounins and Chuunins being called for. Naruto already formed something of a plan. "Okay," he whispered to himself. "If I go out there, and get my butt kicked, they'll think that Boxer-sama is just a loser! Then I'll change back to Naruto and kick their asses, and I'll be recognized!"

Naruto quickly began stripping into his boxers.

"Prove how great you are, Boxer-sama!" the lead ninja challenged. "If you don't get here in three seconds, I'll start undressing the girls!"

"No! Yuck!" all the girls wailed. The ninjas giggled in a girly manner, their faces going red. "Oh my gosh, these ninjas are total perverts!"

"Hey!" a deep, strong voice called out. "Leave them alone!"

The ninjas stopped giggling, and turned towards the voice's direction. There stood the red-eyed Konoha superninja Boxer-sama, clad in his famous boxers and his Konoha forehead protector, this time having a scarf that Naruto 'borrowed' from a nearby unconscious genin. He pointed at them. "I'll show you what happens when you hurt the people of this village!" he announced.

'Perfect! Now I'll just let them beat me up!' He thought to himself. 'But I better be quick, using the Fox's energy is no walk in the park… even though I am in a park…'

"Wow," one of the ninjas muttered to his comrades. "He got through the barrier without us even seeing him!" They noticeably began to sweat nervously.

"Don't be afraid!" the leader called, pointing back at Boxer-sama. "Attack him with all your might!"

The ninjas uncertainly moved to engage Boxer-sama, all forming various seals. Boxer-sama prepared for their attacks. One by one, the ninjas began finishing their seal formations.

"Fire Ball!"

"Water Bomb!"

"Dirt Clump!"

"Air Thrust!"

"Gravity Push!"

"Sheep Rampage!"

"Sheep Rampage?" Naruto mumbled before a crapload of attacks hit him directly, smoke filling up the barrier, followed by a rampage of chakra formed sheep trampling across him. When the smoke cleared, Naruto was lying in a heap, in the middle of a large crater.

"Ha! This guy's nothing!" one of them said. "Let's finish him already!"

"Wait!" the leader exclaimed. "This can only mean one thing… He's playing us!"

The other ninjas looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean, sir?"

"He took out Bashuma in one shot. He must be playing us!"

Naruto looked up, wondering if his plan worked. Due to the previous attack, not only was Naruto in no condition to move, his ears were ringing with the sound of 'baa'ing. He couldn't make out what they were discussing. Suddenly he saw four of the ninjas head for the group of women and children they had captured, and each grabbed one. To Naruto's horror, they had grabbed Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, and Ino. The leader stepped in front of them and faced Naruto.

"Boxer-sama! I know you're just hiding your strength to surprise attack us! But I won't let that happen! If you even move funny, we're going to start undressing these girls!"

Naruto, still unable to hear, had no idea what they were up to. But noticing that his friends had been grabbed, stood up in pure anger, letting the red chakra seep from his body, making him burn red. "OI! LET THEM GO!" he yelled with a voice of rage, intimidating his opponents. He yelled, partly from rage, but mainly because he couldn't hear himself to control the moral of his voice.

"I-I said don't move!" the ninja repeated, signaling the other ninjas to grab the girls' clothes. The girls shrieked in embarrassment, much to the pleasure of their captives. "We'll rip their clothes off, I swear!"

"I CAN'T HEAR A DAMN THING YOU SAY, BUT I'M STILL GONNA KICK YOUR ASSES!"

He dashed at them in anger, scaring them even more. "DO IT! RIP THEIR CLOTHES OFF! HE'LL STOP IF WE RIP THEIR CLOTHES OFF!" the lead ninja called in fear.

The ninjas frantically tried to rip their clothes, but the girls struggled a lot, making the task difficult. Naruto had already begun his onslaught, completely forgetting his plans to make Boxer-sama look bad. He had turned into a red ball of fury, jumping onto each of them and belting the crap out of them with his bare hands. Within minutes of Naruto's frustration, all six ninjas were on the ground in a writhing pit of pain. Naruto's hearing had returned to normal, the ringing of sheep leaving him. Naruto headed over to the girls.

"Sakura, Tenten, Ino, Hinata, you all okay?" he asked, before slapping himself inside. 'Gah! I shouldn't use their names! They might know it's me and tell Sasuke, and then it's all over!'

In a panic, he ran before the girls could answer, leaving them in awe that the famous Boxer-sama knew their names. He dashed right at one of the ninjas holding the barrier. "Break the barrier before I beat you up!" he yelled in despair. The ninja's face went pale as he hurriedly complied. The barrier fell at the loss of one of the ninjas, and Naruto dashed off over the hordes of people who began clapping in awe of Boxer-sama.

Had Naruto looked down, he would've seen Sasuke in the crowd, staring up at Boxer-sama with hard eyes.

"Who are you…?"

Naruto had changed back into a spare orange jumpsuit he had at home, and returned to the scene in order to pick up the clothes he left behind at the park. He saw the ninja band in binds, most of them badly bruised and wounded. Naruto walked past the group of girls on his path to the tree with his clothes, and overheard them talking.

"He's so amazing! He saved us! What a great guy!"

"Omigosh! I love him! I love Boxer-sama!"

"Goodness, his boxers, they're just so awesome!"

Naruto's eyes felt slightly teary.

"They finally like me…" he whimpered. "But it isn't me? This sucks!"

He saw Sasuke, and finally remembered he was meaning to get his acknowledgement. He strode up with pride, forgetting his worries.

"Sasuke!" Naruto called out. "I beat your challenge! You have to acknowledge me now!"

Sasuke didn't even look at him. "What challenge? I don't remember. Leave me alone, I'm busy," he mumbled to him with angst in his voice.

"…OI!" Naruto wailed. "I've been waiting for this all freaking day! You have to say I'm better than you!"

"Better than me?" Sasuke said sarcastically. "You're not even able to compete with that Boxers-idiot. Let alone me, idiot. You're an idiot, idiot."

"DON'T USE IDIOT SO MANY TIMES IN ONE GO! AND STOP CALLING ME AN IDIOT YOU…IDIOTIC IDIOT!" Naruto cried out in despair. "Man, now you're making me say 'idiot' a lot, you idiot!" more whining ensued from Naruto's mouth, heard by all, yet listened to by nobody. Naruto finally sighed and calmed down. "Man, this couldn't get any worse."

Suddenly, numerous ninjas from the various villages were arriving, all carrying notebooks or tape recorders or cameras. "We want to hear about Boxer-sama!" they explained. "He'll be famous throughout all the villages! It's a great scoop!"

Naruto sulked even harder. "Why, when I say it won't get worse, it does?" tears flowed from his eyes like waterfalls. "Someone make it stop, it sucks!"

Today, nothing seemed to go Naruto's way.

END CHAPTER 2