A/N: Due to many past experiences, I'll state this now. WARNING! SUGGESTIVE SCENES IN THIS CHAPTER! IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY NUDITY, RISQUE JOKES OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT…WELL, PREPARE TO BE OFFENDED.
A week had passed since the incident at Konoha Village's park, and the name Boxer-sama was known throughout the many hidden ninja villages, even Sound. Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were on a mission with Kakashi, in which they were taking care of one of the school's classes. Konohamaru's class to be precise.
"Man, I wish people would shut up about this Boxer-sama crap," Naruto complained as he watched the class run their 499th lap from the sidelines.
"For once, I could almost agree with you," Sasuke grumbled under his breath. Sakura was unimpressed.
"You two should feel honored that such a cool hunk of a ninja could be found in our village," she scolded. Naruto looked at her in surprise.
"Did you… Did you just scold Sasuke too?" Naruto said in awe. Sakura's face went red.
"Wha… I… No! No, of course not, stupid Naruto!" she yelled, punching him in the face. However, inside, she too was very surprised that she was actually talking back against Sasuke. Boxer-sama was really getting to her.
Konohamaru and his class stopped in front of them, panting slightly.
"Were you guys just talking about Boxer-sama?" Konohamaru asked angrily. "I hate that guy! He thinks he's so great just because he beat up some guys. Naruto! Beat Boxer-sama up!"
"What? Beat myself up?" Naruto asked in confusion before hitting himself. "I mean… Yeah! Boxer-sama is a loser, I'll beat the crap out of him if I see him!"
'Although I don't want to beat myself up…' he thought.
"You can't even beat me, idiot," Sasuke taunted. "If he's really as strong as a Hokage, you don't stand a chance."
"Shut up, you!" Naruto yelled at him in anger. Naruto's mood was becoming crummy, so he took it out on the class. "All of you! Five hundred more laps!"
"Eh?"
In the Hokage's office, Tsunade was frantically shuffling around numerous bundles of paper, made up of mission offers, notices, wanted posters, love letters, and newspaper articles. The one thing they had in common: they were all related to the one and only Boxer-sama. There was even a weird manga with him on the front, called "Boxer-sama no Boxers!"
"Dammit, this Boxer-baka is really making my life hell!" she yelled, throwing in a good amount of obscenities. Shizune, attempting to assist her on her own desk, tried to calm her down.
"Come now, Tsunade-sama, Boxer-sama has helped the villagers twice. You should think better of him."
"Better of him?" Tsunade said sarcastically. "He walks around in bloody boxer shorts!" She raised some of the papers to further prove her point. "And he's effectively quadrupled my workload! I've been working like a dog for a whole week, and I'm lucky if I get to sleep!"
Shizune smiled nervously. Unknown to Tsunade, she was also smitten by Boxer-sama's heroic persona, but didn't dare tell Tsunade; afraid she might try to 'beat the love out of her'.
A knock on the door was heard. Without waiting for a reply, a rough, white-haired man walked in casually. It was the famous Sannin Jiraiya.
"Yo, Tsunade!" he bellowed. "I see you're exactly the same as when I was here last week! Buried in work!"
"If you've come just to taunt me, I'll beat the crap out of you," Tsunade grumbled back at him. Jiraiya walked up, taking a seat in front of her table. He was about to put his feet up, but the death glare from Tsunade made him think otherwise.
"So you must really hate this Boxer-sama character," Jiraiya said, flicking through a notebook, mostly filled with the vital statistics of the many women of Konoha. "After all, knowing you, anyone who gives you work is as good as dead."
Tsunade arranged a few more papers before sighing and leaning back, deciding to take a short break. "Goodness, this guy… All of a sudden, everyone wants to hire this guy on all kinds of jobs. Look at this one," she picked up one of the recent mission requests she had recently filed. "A jailhouse in the Sand village was busted open, and they want him to catch all thirty escaped prisoners! That's just absurd!"
Jiraiya's face went red as he continued flicking through his book. "Ah, such beautiful numbers on you, dear…" he said, smiling like a pervert.
"PAY ATTENTION TO ME, YOU ASS!" Tsunade yelled, standing up, leaning forward, and flicking him on the forehead, sending him flying back to the door.
"I was! Really!" Jiraiya said in defense. He dizzily went back to his chair, rubbing his forehead sadly. "You know, if we're going to receive missions for him, we should try to get him to do them. After all, we can't just turn down requests, right?"
Tsunade sat down again, looking at Jiraiya. "It would help if we knew who this guy was…" Tsunade said. A smile slowly crept to her face, and she looked up at Jiraiya. Jiraiya looked back at her uncertainly, then realized what she was planning.
"No, ohhhh no, no!" Jiraiya said, waving his arms frantically. "No! I refuse! I have other things to do! Come on, Tsunade-san" he begged. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?"
Tsunade cracked her knuckles before Jiraiya finally caved in. "Anyway, why don't you take some Genins or Chuunins to help you? Perhaps Naruto would help you out. Naruto's the kind of cute kid that will help you out for food," Tsunade said with a girlish giggle. Jiraiya smirked at her.
"'Cute Naruto' eh?" he said with a chuckle. Tsunade froze on the spot. "I didn't notice, but whenever Naruto's the subject, you sure do become a bit of a schoolgirl!" he said with a laugh.
"W-What are you talking about?" Tsunade screamed with a red face. "I just think Naruto's impressive for having such a strong goal."
"Oh, so now he's impressive?" Jiraiya said with a snicker. "Oh, sometimes it's so easy to see through the tough old lady!"
Shizune, who was eavesdropping quietly, had also noticed that Tsunade seemed to have a special place in her heart for Naruto, but didn't dare confront her about it. But it was obvious to her that Tsunade had in fact fallen in love with Naruto's strong personality.
"L-Let's just get back to the problem at hand!" Tsunade said, her cheeks red. "I want you to find out who Boxer-sama is, so I can go public about it and make everyone send his work to him directly. That way, I won't have so much damn paperwork!"
"Sure thing, sure thing!" Jiraiya smirked, standing up to leave. As he reached the door, he turned around once more and added. "And just for you, I'll try to get Naruto to come around so you can mother him for awhile! I bet you'd love that, eh, Tsunade?"
"Get out, you idiot!" Tsunade groaned in embarrassment.
Jiraiya dashed out, laughing heartily. As he exited the building, he took out another notebook, this one, while made up mainly of his sketches of female anatomy, also had a detailed section about Boxer-sama. It had all the descriptive information he could gather, for he too had become interested in whom this person was. Lucky for Naruto, nobody could recall what kind of move Naruto used to deal with the general store thief Bashuma, but it did contain information on his appearance.
"Boxer-sama, huh…" he thought out aloud. "What an interesting person."
Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were sitting outside the school, waiting for Kakashi to come and complete the paperwork.
"That guy, late as always," Sasuke said in annoyance. The three of them sighed simultaneously. An hour had passed since the time Kakashi was meant to arrive, but they were growing used to his late-coming habit.
"Yo!" Kakashi's voice was heard as he dropped down from the sky in front of them.
"You took your time, dammit!" Naruto wailed. "What took you?"
"I got lost," Kakashi explained casually.
"That's a lie!" they yelled back in frustration.
"Well, anyway, here are your pays," he said, revealing three envelopes, with their names written on them. He handed them out to them. "Oh yeah, and I met Jiraiya on the way here. Naruto, Sasuke, he's looking for you two. Something about Boxer-sama."
Sasuke nodded, but Naruto almost had a heart attack. "Wha-wha-what does he want from us? And what about Boxer-sama? It's not like he thinks I'm Boxer-sama or anything, 'cos that's just crazy!" Naruto exclaimed.
Everyone stared at him in wonder for a moment.
"I don't know about that," Kakashi said to him. "And besides, Boxer-sama is supposed to be as strong as a Hokage, so I doubt he thinks it's you."
"ARE YOU SAYING I'M WEAK?" Naruto yelled in disbelief.
"I'm not saying you're super strong, let's just say that," Kakashi said with smiling eyes. "Another mission tomorrow, so we'll meet at the same place, same time."
Before Naruto could yell at him more, Kakashi burst in a puff of smoke and disappeared. The three of them looked at each other.
"What does Jiraiya-sama want with you two?" Sakura asked.
"Who cares, let's just get it over with," Sasuke grumbled. "Naruto! Let's go, idiot!" he yelled as he jumped off. Naruto chased him in annoyance.
"Why'd you call me an idiot?"
"Because you're an idiot!"
"NO I BLOODY AM NOT!"
After realizing they didn't know where Jiraiya was, quarrelling about whether or not to stop and ask around, stopping to ask around, and complaining about who didn't want to ask around, and eventually beating the crap out of each other, they finally managed to find Jiraiya, who was sitting by a river, along with Neji, Lee (We'll consider him completely able-bodied, I haven't seen past that part yet), Kiba, Chouji, Shikamaru, and Shino.
"You guys took your time," Kiba growled, followed by a bark from Akamaru.
"Who cares, not like this is incredibly important," Shikamaru grumbled, lazy as always.
"What's going on, Ero-sennin? (Perverted hermit, hopefully spelt properly)" Naruto asked. Jiraiya grumbled.
"Don't call me that all the time!" he yelled. After clearing his throat, he prepared to explain what was happening.
"Now that everyone has finally arrived, I will tell you all what is happening. I'm sure you've all heard of Boxer-sama?"
Everyone responded, showing hints of jealousy, hatred, or disgust at his underwear-inclined outfit. Naruto shivered nervously.
"Well, we have been ordered to find out whom this guy is."
Naruto laughed nervously. "A-Are you serious, Ero-sennin? You want us to chase some boxer-short wearing freak? No way these guys want to-"
"Let's do it!" the others yelled enthusiastically. Even Sasuke showed some spirit.
Naruto looked up in surprise. The others, even Shikamaru, looked up at Jiraiya, smirking evilly, desperately wanting to catch this guy and beat the crap out of him. He had made them all look weak, and they were especially annoyed that all the girls talked about him relentlessly. Naruto laughed out nervously again.
"Now, now. We're only trying to find out who it is. It's not like we're going to kill him or anything!" Jiraiya explained. The others sighed in disappointment. Except Naruto, who felt a bit safer.
"Well, we can at least beat him up, right?" Lee asked, greatly enraged that yet another person was taking Sakura's heart away from him. His eyes lit on fire, and he jumped to his feet and posed like his teacher, Gai. "I'll show him the power of my way of the ninja!"
"Yes…" Jiraiya murmured as they all stared at him. "Anyway!" he yelled, returning everyone's attention to him. "We will now begin planning on how we're going to catch him, and to do this, I've prepared a special exercise!"
"What kind of exercise?" Chouji asked, fearing it was some form of physical activity.
"Ah, the water's so nice…"
"Hey, let's play ball here!"
"Eh? This is a hot spring, silly!"
Naruto looked at Jiraiya in disgust. "This is your… exercise?"
Jiraiya didn't look at him, his eyes glued to the women in the hot spring. They were sitting in some shrubs, the others also finding it difficult to look away. Even Sasuke had a bit of a stare, but tried desperately to hide it.
"This is very important! I'm sure it will help us greatly to be here!" he said, chuckling.
"But this has nothing to do with catching him!" Naruto whispered loudly.
"Oh yeah… get up a little more…" a smile slowly broke into his face, as blood slowly broke out of his nose. "Oh yeah… That's the stuff, right there… Oh my love!"
Naruto was just about to punch him, when they suddenly heard the door to the hot spring open.
"Oh… My… God…" Kiba mumbled, followed by a perverted, soft bark from his canine companion. Naruto saw everyone staring more intently. Sasuke didn't even try to hide it. All of their noses had even begun to bleed slightly.
Naruto turned his attention to the hot spring, and would've screamed out if Jiraiya hadn't grabbed his mouth. Naruto watched in a combination of surprise, arousal, and horror, as Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, and Ino all walked in, covering themselves with towels. Even Naruto, who was very much against this kind of stuff, had a glowing face.
Their stares grew stronger as they began to unravel their towels, getting ready to clean themselves before entering the hot spring. But just as they were about to take their towels off, four more people came in. At their entrance, every one of the observers, excluding Naruto, had burst into an enormous nosebleed, Jiraiya especially.
"Well, if it isn't four of the best busts in town," Jiraiya huffed, his breathing becoming faster as he jabbed tissue after tissue up his nose, causing his breathing to sound more nasal, like a bull. Tsunade, Shizune, Anko, and Kurenai had all entered, also covered with towels. The genin girls bowed and greeted the four. Tsunade and her company waved happily, joining them at the cleaning area, locked in conversation together.
"Mou, having such a large chest is always a pain! It's hard keeping the towel wrapped!" Tsunade bawled.
"I agree completely!" Kurenai said with a sigh, pushing her pair inwards. "It's also a pain on my back and shoulders…"
"I quite like them like this," Anko said with a grin, grabbing hers roughly. "They're nice and juicy"
"Hehe, it's good mine aren't as big as your ones are!" Shizune giggled. "But still, mine are a big enough to hurt my back also!"
Naruto's face began to burn, as he tried to shove Jiraiya's hand off his face so he could leave. But Jiraiya, in all the excitement, had tightened his grip, beginning to choke Naruto. Naruto began fighting and struggling for air, but was completely ignored by everyone. Finally in desperation, he opened his mouth, sucked in some of Jiraiya's hand's meat, and bit down hard.
"YIIOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!" Jiraiya yelped in agony. All the boys looked up in surprise, as well as all the occupants in the hot spring.
"Who's there? Show yourself, pervert!" Tsunade ordered. All the girls looked up in surprise, glad they had yet to remove their towels.
"Quick, run, run!" Jiraiya ordered. The boys disbanded in a hurry, fearing for their lives, wanting to escape the clutches of girls like Tsunade, Sakura, and Ino. Jiraiya ran off after them.
"H-Hey! Wait for me!" Naruto yelped, clambering to his feet. But to his dismay, he lost his footing, slipping, and falling straight for the hot spring. He hit the water with a splash, the girls shrieking and climbing out of the hot spring, wrapping towels on.
Naruto burst out of the water, panting in air. "Too hot! Too hot!" he complained, wiping his eyes. As he opened them again, he looked out in surprise and horror. All the girls looked at him with surprised eyes. Especially the ones who knew him – Sakura, Ino, Tenten, Hinata, Kurenai, Anko, Shizune, and Tsunade. They stared at him, some showing embarrassment, namely Hinata and Tsunade, some showing plain surprise, Shizune, Kurenai, and Anko, but the one thing they all showed was pure anger.
"Naruto…" Sakura said, her voice rising slowly. "You…"
"IDIOT!" they all yelled, as they ran at him and trampled him. Apart from Hinata and Tsunade, of course, who were more concerned of hiding their naked bodies from Naruto's 'cute' eyes.
However, that doesn't mean he received any less of a beating. Jiraiya returned, looking down at the scene. He sniffled sadly, tears in his eyes.
"Naruto, you lucky bastard… What a beautiful harem…" he whimpered, obviously misinterpreting what was happening.
When Naruto finally managed to run out of the hot spring, chased by half dressed women, Jiraiya appeared and pulled Naruto away to safety. He brought Naruto to one of his old shacks in the outskirts of town.
"You okay, Naruto?" Jiraiya asked with a chuckle. "You looked like you were having fun."
A beaten, bruised, black-eyed Naruto stared at him, his eyebrow twitching. "If that looked like fun to you, then you are an idiot, Ero-sennin."
"Come on, come on," he bellowed. "Well, you may as well change your clothes, you'll catch a cold."
Naruto hadn't noticed that Jiraiya, throughout the time they had known each other, had begun to treat Naruto like something of a son, often finding himself worried about the little blond-haired child.
"Yeah, yeah…" Naruto mumbled, too fatigued to think. He began to remove his jumpsuit, zipping it down, revealing his white shirt, soaked and see-through, followed by…
That's when Jiraiya saw something that almost made him yell out.
"Naruto…You…You…." He stuttered. Naruto looked at him drowsily.
"What?"
"You… You're covered in marks of love!"
"THOSE ARE BRUISES, YOU STUPID HERMIT! BRUISES!" Naruto yelled, finally pulling his jumpsuit down past his stomach, to reveal his heart-shaped boxers, which he had, by chance, chosen to wear on this day.
Jiraiya looked up at him with a serious face.
"Naruto… You're Boxer-sama?"
Naruto jumped, his mind fully waking up one minute to late. He whipped around, standing in his shirt and heart-patterned boxers, looking for an excuse.
"Umm… Well…" he thought for a moment.
'I know! Reverse psychology!'
"Yes! I am Boxer-sama," Naruto said casually. From Jiraiya's surprised reaction, Naruto put two and two together.
"That… didn't work as well as I hoped."
Once again, Naruto proves that he is quite unique, being one of the few, if not the only, superninja around to lose his hidden identity within one week.
END CHAPTER 3